What Comes Next
by Piceron
Summary: Starts 6 weeks after the Archdemon is slain by Elandria, with everyone believing her dead. Spans the next 3-4 years as Alistair is left to deal with kingship and a new queen. Elandria learns to live with her actions during the Blight and without Alistair.
1. Zevran's Delivery

_A.N.: The incredibly creative folk at Bioware own all places and most of the characters (especially the equally yummy Alistair and Zevran). _

_Revised July 31, 2010, to include Cyril, the bartender, a character I borrowed from Ladyamesindy. See her story **The Barkeep Diaries** for more on him or any of the others in The Gnawed Noble Community. Thanks for the loan of Cyril, my friend! _

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Alistair had long since given up trying to follow the bickering of the banns this afternoon. It was six weeks since the ending of the Blight, and nothing seemed to get resolved easily or quickly. These sessions were turning into one long argument after another. He just hoped he had his expression schooled in one of polite interest and attention. As he reached up to rub his throbbing head, another discordant voice joined the background.

He was surprised to hear a strong voice call out, "Enough!" He was even more surprised to realize it was his. With an inner groan, he rose to his feet. Now he had done it; now he would have to address the assembled council. As he left his chair, he had to wait as everyone in the room rose as well.

"My lords and ladies, this council has met everyday unceasingly since the end of the Blight. I think we all can use a break. I'm ending this session for today. Hopefully, we will all be better able to work with this small rest. We will reconvene tomorrow morning." At moments like this, it was good to be king.

"Arl Eamon, I'll be in my chambers if you need me," Alistair said.

"Yes, your Majesty," the arl replied with a slight bow. He and the arl were always correct in public. At least they could drop the formality in private. After all, how formal could you be with the man who used to have you sleep in his stables when you were a child?

As Alistair finally got through the press of people that wanted a word with him and left the council chamber, he felt the rest of his guard fall into place around him. He still wasn't comfortable with all the trappings that went with his new position and always felt silly at times like this. He had crossed the breadth of Ferelden countless times, and now he couldn't even move through the palace without a contingent of guards. It was like a damn Andraste's Day parade.

As they drew near to his rooms, Alistair called to the commander of his guard, "Ser Hugh."

"Yes, your Majesty?" Ser Hugh asked.

"I wish to be alone this afternoon. No guards in my room," Alistair said.

"Sire, that goes against protocol," Ser Hugh argued.

"I know, but I need some time alone. Go ahead and send the men through and then just station them outside the door. They won't be needed."

"Yes, your Majesty," Ser Hugh reluctantly conceded.

Once his rooms were declared "safe," Alistair went in and shut the door, leaving the guards outside in the reception area. With a heavy sigh, he crossed the small meeting room, his private sitting room/study, and walked into his bedroom. He reached up and pulled off the light coronet he had taken to wearing for every day and tossed it lightly on the foot of the bed. Well, at least it was lighter than his plate armor helmet.

Alistair dropped into a chair with dejection in every line of his body and his head in his hands as he tried to rub the ache away. His trio of constant companions of pain, grief, and guilt pressed even harder on his heart. "Maker's breath," he muttered to himself. Six weeks now without her. How was he supposed to get through the future that stretched in front of him knowing she was gone? How could he rule a kingdom when he couldn't even rule himself?

"Alistair," came a soft voice from behind him.

His reflexes honed from all the time on the road, he was out of the chair and moving before he recognized the voice. "Zevran?" he said disbelievingly.

"Yes, your Majesty. It is I," replied Zevran.

"By Andraste's flaming sword, not you too! It's Alistair, just Alistair, … please." He settled back into his chair. "How did you get in here anyway?"

"The day I can't get past those children playing guards outside this room is the day I'm dead," Zevran answered. "I have been watching for an opportunity to see you for about three days now. You are a difficult man to get by himself. I was even considering approaching you in your bath."

"Well, at least we have been both been spared that." Alistair continued to rub his aching head. "So, have the banns all gathered together and offered you a high enough price to get rid of me?" asked Alistair only half jokingly.

"You have no need to worry that I will accept any contract on you-out of respect for a dead friend, shall we say?" Zevran replied.

"Lanie," Alistair whispered as a bolt of fresh pain and grief went through him.

"Yes," said Zevran, "Although you were the only one who could get away with calling her that." Noticing Alistair looking away from him, he continued. "Remember that morning Leliana tried? What was it she said? Ah yes, 'How long do you thing it will take to get to the Frostbacks, Lanie?' I will never forget the look on Elandria's face as she drew herself up and looked down at all of us. 'My name is Elandria. Don't forget it.' And then you said, 'Lanie dear, please pass me the bread.'"

With his emotions more under control, Alistair looked back at Zevran with a slight smile. "Actually, I expected her to throw it at me. I was surprised when she just smiled sweetly and said, 'Of course, my dear,' and handed it to me." Alistair added softly, "We laughed about it that night in our tent."

With a another rub of his head as if to brush off the old memories, Alistair asked, "Well, if you aren't here to kill me, why are you here?"

"After Fort Drakon, Wynne and I went through the few things Elandria had left at camp. The others felt it our right as we were the closest to her," Zevran explained. "After you, of course," he added.

"Yes?" said Alistair questioningly.

"I have something for you," Zevran answered.

"For me? What is it?" Alistair asked in a rush as all thoughts of his headache flew away.

Zevran reached inside the soft shirt he was wearing and drew out a small package wrapped in plain brown paper with "Alistair" written on the outside.

"Wynne and I found this the next day. We were trying to find a way to get it to you, but with everything going on, the time never seemed right. Here," he said as he handed the package to Alistair. "We didn't open it. It's still sealed."

Alistair clutched the package tightly in his hands.

Zevran turned to go. "And now if you will excuse me," he started to say.

"Zev, wait," Alistair said.

Zevran turned back in surprise, "Yes?" he asked questioningly.

"I know we weren't really that close, but please, would you stay?" Alistair asked.

"I would like that. Thank you," Zevran answered.

"Here, sit down," Alistair said pulling up another chair. "It's just that I can't talk about her. No one here has any idea what really happened in the time leading up to the fight with the Archdemon. Wynne is in the council sessions of course, but we can't really talk there. You have no idea how good it is to be able to talk to someone who knows how things were."

Alistair looked down at the small package he held in his hands. He turned it over and carefully opened the paper. It looked like she had sealed it with camp glue. "It's a book," Alistair said turning it over to see the front of it. _The Maker: Chants for the Trail_ he read as he set the wrapping aside.

Zevran looked over at it, "That was Leliana's. I remember seeing her reading from it in camp."

Alistair ran his fingers over the homemade bindings on the side of the book. "She must have given it to Lanie. I don't understand why." Alistair gently opened the book. Right inside the cover, a few pages fell into his hand. "It's a letter," he said after inspecting the pages. "Wait, there's something else in here." He opened the book to the middle where there was a single rose, pressed and dried, brittle now with time. "Oh, Lanie," he breathed. Fresh tears broke out as he touched a single finger to the dried leaves of the once beautiful flower. "The magic must have worn off and the rose faded. I never knew, " he said sadly to himself.

Zevran didn't really understand the significance of the rose, but he figured from Alistair's reaction that it had a meaning. "Would you like to be alone now?" he offered.

"No," Alistair said. "Stay, please."

"As you wish," Zevran said.

Alistair very carefully set aside the book with the rose in the center on the table beside his chair. He picked up the letter and started reading out loud to Zevran.

"27 December 9.31 Dragon

"Dear Alistair: It's a little strange to be sitting here writing this knowing that if you read it, I'll be dead. If I wasn't such a coward, I'd do this in person, but I don't think I could get through it looking into your eyes."

Alistair closed his eyes. Zevran sat waiting patiently.

"Would you mind reading it to me?" Alistair asked Zevran after a few minutes.

"Not at all," Zevran said as he reached his hand out to Alistair for the letter.

Zevran started reading, "First, I wanted you to know how much I love you. You'll never realize how close I was to just giving up that day in Denerim at Arl Eamon's after you left the room. It's only duty that keeps me functioning now. I know you were trying to do what you thought was best for the both of us and Ferelden, but it is hard to face. You must have thought long and hard about the talk we had, even before the Landsmeet. I can see you tried to spare me the worst of it by only mentioning the heir issue, but let there be honesty between us even at the end. We both knew that the fact that I am both elven and a mage would have made a relationship between us impossible for the nobility of Ferelden to accept under any circumstances. It hurts so much to know that no matter what I do I can never be with you. Not because of who I am, but because of what I am, and that I cannot change even if I wanted to."

Zevran paused as Alistair got out of his chair and walked to the window. Alistair stood there with his head bowed, back facing Zevran. "Do you want me to continue?" Zevran asked kindly.

"Yes," came the barely breathed reply.

"Alistair, there is a core of goodness in you that gives you your strength. So many people just see the exterior you put on and dismiss you. I know the strength you have inside, and I know you have it in you to be not just a good king, but a great one. Don't let me down. You have a way of making people want to be better than they are. Use that in the years to come. I know it worked on me."

Zevran peeked over the top of the letter at Alistair. He hadn't moved. He hurriedly continued.

"I'm sure you were thinking that after the Blight has ended I would go back and rebuild the Wardens in Ferelden. I think you forget that I don't have the memories you do. I just have your stories about what it was like before the Blight started. The only Wardens I have met are Duncan, Riordan, and you. I was with Duncan such a short time, just on the journey from the Circle Tower to Ostagar, and I wasn't even a Warden yet, just a recruit. Duncan had no way of knowing if I would even survive the Joining. To me, _you_ are the Grey Wardens. I think it was that day at Flemeth's hut that I began to fall in love with you. You seemed so lost after King Cailan's and Duncan's deaths that I agreed to start this journey. It was your belief in what the Grey Wardens stand for that drove me on. I know most people saw me as the leader of our group, but they never knew where I drew _my_ strength from. Just knowing you were standing at my side was enough.

"Other Wardens will be sent to help you rebuild in Ferelden. You will be too busy to do it yourself, but you will give them all the aid they need to get it done. I know it didn't seem very heroic when it was all happening, but after the stories about 'King Alistair and his companions' fighting the darkspawn and having you declared king, you will probably have to beat prospective recruits off with a stick. Everyone will want to be like you. The rest of us will fade to the background and that is how it should be. The Grey Wardens will survive and prosper in Ferelden whomever is chosen to lead them now. In all honesty, I don't want to face being a Grey Warden without you."

Zevran paused again and looked up at Alistair. He still hadn't moved, so he continued.

"So now we come to the crux of the matter. Someone has to make the sacrifice for the Blight to end if Riordan falls. I just have this feeling that since this Blight arose in Ferelden, it will take a Ferelden Grey Warden to end it. Maybe I'm wrong and tomorrow or the next day I'll be throwing this letter in the fire. Only time will tell, but regardless, Ferelden _needs _you. I'm expendable."

"But she wasn't expendable," Alistair protested. "At least to me," he added softly. Zevran wisely said nothing. After a moment, Alistair continued, "Go on Zevran, what else did she say?"

"This is my duty to bear. I must admit I had a few selfish moments when Morrigan made her offer and I thought about trying to persuade you to do it. Then, I thought about how you would feel knowing that you had a child somewhere out there that you couldn't find. I know what your upbringing as a royal bastard cost you, and I couldn't ask you to do that to your own child just to save my life. Just as I had to let you go to do your duty, now you must let me go do mine.

"I'm going to have to close this letter now. I can hear Wynne moving around camp. She'll be calling for me shortly as we hope to reach Denerim today. If the worst does happen, don't grieve for me, my love. Be happy. Know I can go to whatever fate has decreed for me with a willing heart because I know you will be safe.

"It's signed 'All my love forever, Lanie,'" Zevran told Alistair as he came to the end of the letter. Zevran looked over at him. Alistair stood still as a statue, immobile now, as if carved out of stone. Zevran waited. As the silence stretched on, Zevran wondered if he should leave. Just as he had about made up his mind to slip quietly out of the room, Alistair broke the silence.

"Can I ask you something?" Alistair asked.

Zevran was quiet for moment. "You may ask, but depending on the question, you may not like my answer," Zevran replied.

"That's fine," Alistair said as he turned away from the window and returned to his seat. "Believe me, these days I get enough of people telling me what they think I want to hear instead of the truth."

"Would you tell me about those final days, after the Landsmeet and before the end?" Alistair asked. "I'd really like to know and this may be my only chance to find out, what she said, what she was thinking."

"Ah," said Zevran. "Let me think a moment."

Alistair sat quietly in the chair intently watching Zevran's face as he stared off into the distance.

After a few moments, Zevran began, "I don't think any of us realized what had happened at first. We were all so busy with leaving the Arl's estate and heading for Redcliffe. I do remember thinking that day that you must have done something stupid as Elandria seemed much colder than usual and you were even more impossible than normal. I expected that by nightfall you two would have kissed and made up.

"I think it only hit all of us that something serious had happened between you that first night when we set up camp. You pitched your tent on one side of the camp with Elandria way on the other side instead of together as you normally did." Zevran continued, "The thing I remember most about that trip now is how quiet it was, with none of the laughter in camp that there normally was. You were spending all your time with that counselor Arl Eamon had sent with you to start instructing you on things you needed to know to be king. That first night I remember you going to your tent as soon as you had finished dinner." Zevran paused as he thought about what to say.

"The rest of us didn't know what to say or do. There were all sort of glances flying around the camp that night as Elandria just sat staring into the fire. Finally, Wynne waved everyone but the two of us away. The others all headed into their tents for the night as I had first watch. Wynne sat on one side of her and I sat on the other. The silence drew out for what seemed like forever, but it couldn't have been more than 15-20 minutes. Finally, Elandria stirred and started to say something, but Wynne reached out, patted her knee, and said, 'That's all right, dear. You don't have to say anything.' Elandria just looked up at her and said, 'Thanks,' and turned her gaze back to the fire. As far as I know, that was it. Nobody ever said anything to her about it, and unless she confided to someone privately, she never told us a word of what happened," Zevran said.

He continued, "Wynne and I tried to be near and help support her. Most nights, she would share my watch with me. Neither one of us would talk. The only time she really spoke those days was for some necessary exchange about travel or the battle ahead. Sometimes, she would just lean against my shoulder as I watched for darkspawn in the darkness. One night I swear she was crying, but I never heard a sound out of her. I know I saw tears running down her face and could feel her body shaking, but there was no sound," Zevran shook his head as he spoke. "Of course, it was a hectic time. We were traveling so hard and fast with the run down to Redcliffe from Denerim and then the forced march back, there wouldn't have been much time for confidences," Zevran concluded.

Zevran looked Alistair in the eyes. "It looks like she kept her confidences for you alone in that letter."

Alistair replied, "She always knew how to keep things to herself. I wasn't sure if she would ever trust me enough to open up, but it eventually happened. She felt so betrayed by Jowan at the tower that it was hard for her to really trust someone too quickly, except for you. I've never understood that."

Zevran said, "Neither did I, but I'm glad she did. Having her for my first friend changed me. It took me a long time to figure out it was for the better." He was quiet for a moment or two before continuing. "I almost did kill her later on," he dropped into the conversation. "I had every intention of doing so."

"What!" exclaimed Alistair. "I never knew that!"

"Yes, it was one evening not too long after I joined you. I had followed Elandria out of camp and was moving up behind her when I tripped and she heard me. Do you know how long it has been since I have tripped when making a strike?" asked Zevran.

"A long time, I assume," said Alistair.

A _very _long time," continued Zevran. "Anyway, when I tripped, Elandria turned and just looked at me. She didn't make any effort to defend herself or to try to talk me out of it. She just stood there waiting for me to move. I had my dagger in my hand. Just one little thrust and it all would have been over. She just looked at me with such an expression in her eyes; I still can't explain that look. Whatever it was, I just couldn't do it. I don't know why, but I put the dagger away and headed back to camp," said Zevran. "When she returned, she sat down beside me. She treated me like nothing had ever happened. That was the night I knew my allegiance had truly changed from the Crows to my beautiful Grey Warden," said Zevran.

"She never told me," said Alistair.

"There was one morning when we were all sitting around waiting to break camp that I particularly remember. Elandria was still in her tent. You were off doing whatever it was you were doing those days, certainly not sitting around camp with the rest of us."

"No," Alistair agreed. "I wasn't up to being very sociable."

"Anyway, we were all sitting there when suddenly Leliana jumps up and says, 'I can't stand this. I'm going to go talk to him.' Wynne told her to sit back down. When Leliana asked why, Wynne told her that this wasn't any easier on you than it was on Elandria and that some things just couldn't be fixed. Wynne told Leliana to remember that a few short days ago you were just an ordinary Grey Warden with the woman you loved at your side, and now you had to assume a role you neither sought nor desired that forced you to give up everything you had been to that point in your life and that she should just let you be. Leliana sat back down, but I think it frustrated all of us that there was nothing we could do."

"Wynne was right," Alistair said. "There was just so much that happened in such a short time that I was totally overwhelmed. I just couldn't keep up a front in camp like nothing had changed."

"No, I don't suppose you could have," Zevran agreed sadly.

"The worst part is Lanie and I did this to ourselves. She pushed me to take the throne, and I agreed when it was the last thing we both wanted. I just couldn't let Anora have it. There is too much of Loghain in her, like how she turned on us at the Landsmeet," Alistair said as he left his chair and began pacing the room. "I know she did a lot of the ruling under Cailan; Maker's breath, everybody knew that. Arl Eamon was the one who told me how Cailan would rein her in, though. How when she started pushing too far out of line favoring one extreme faction or another, he would put a stop to it. How could I let her take sole control of Ferelden with no one able to contain her? And there was no way I was marrying her, I mean, what's the creepiness value of marrying your brother's widow?"

Alistair headed toward the window. He stood there for a minute gazing sightlessly out the window. "You want to know what I think at night? What I lie in bed and ask myself over and over with no answer to be found?" Alistair asked after a few minutes as he stood still staring out the window.

"What?" asked Zevran.

"Did I cause her death? Did I kill the woman I love because of my actions in breaking off with her at the end of the Landsmeet? Is that what really influenced her decision with Morrigan?" Alistair hurriedly continued," You know, she didn't even give me a choice. I didn't find out about it until she told all of us about it the next day in explaining Morrigan's absence. I was so angry at the time that she made that decision without me."

"Oh, and what would your decision have been?" Zevran asked.

Alistair turned back to Zevran, "Honestly now, I don't know. So much has happened, it's hard to put myself back to that time. I'd like to tell myself that I would have done anything to save her, but she's right, the price would have been high. I swore all my life that I would never have a bastard child because I knew what it was like to be one, with all the slights and the hurts. It was just easier to be mad at her because she left me no choice. With the added fact of releasing an old god's soul on the world, I really don't know what I would have done."

Zevran said, "Elandria always could make the difficult choices. I am sure she thought it was her choice to make as she had decided she would strike the blow if Riordan could not."

"That's another thing that torments me," Alistair admitted. "I still can't believe she left me at the gates like that. Me!" he said indignantly as he agitatedly ran a hand through his short hair.

Zevran just shook his head, "Alistair, think for a moment. Afterwards, you made all those nice speeches about how she did what she did to save Ferelden. You and I both know that was a lie. She did it to save you. Since the day she spared my life and allowed me to stay, she never went out for a fight without you. Then suddenly, fighting the Archdemon, she leaves you behind and takes Shale. Coincidence? I think not. She was afraid you wouldn't let her make that final blow, and that you would do it yourself."

"You're right. I know you're right," Alistair said. "But, it still doesn't make it any easier."

"Now, as to your question of did you kill her; no, the Archdemon did that. If her decision with Morrigan would have been different if you had waited to end things with her is something I cannot say. Neither of us can."

"I guess that is certainly true enough," Alistair said.

"Since we are being honest here, there is something I would add," said Zevran.

"Go ahead," Alistair said.

"I have been hearing tales of unrest within the Bannorn. There are those who are starting to grumble that they were too hasty in taking the word of a Grey Warden in selecting the ruler of Ferelden. That perhaps Ferelden would be better served with a queen instead of a king."

"What?" said Alistair disbelievingly. "Are they kidding? After what her father had done?" Alistair stood there with his mouth hanging open for a minute in surprise, "And how do you know this?"

Zevran sighed again, even heavier than before. "Alistair, people are still afraid. They want a strong leader in charge. In your grief, you have been flailing around, just going through the motions, and taking the path of least resistance. The people who don't know the whole story do not understand, and they think you are weak and that they have made a mistake. There is a faction who hopes to control you who are pleased by this. As to how I know this, an assassin's best friend, besides poison of course, is information. I have contacts in many areas of the city."

Alistair just shook his head in disgust. "Vultures, that's what they are, ready to take advantage of anyone."

"Exactly," agreed Zevran, "And who is the one that is supposed to protect the people from those that would abuse them?" asked Zevran.

"That would be me," Alistair said. "Point taken."

"And now, my friend, it is time for me to take my leave. I thank you for your trust in allowing me to know the contents of Elandria's letter. Honor her sacrifice. Be the king she knew you could be and that she died to make you. Farewell, my friend. I do not know when we shall meet again, but take care." With those words, Zevran rose from the chair and headed towards the window he came in.

"Maker keep you too, Zevran. Thanks for bringing me her letter and for being there for her when I couldn't," Alistair said.

"You're most welcome, but I didn't do it for you," Zevran answered.

"Yeah, I get that," Alistair said. "Zevran, you don't have to go out the window. You can just walk out the door."

"And damage my reputation?" Zevran scoffed as if offended. "I think not."

Alistair just shook his head and smiled. He found it easier to do now. Yes, the letter from Lanie and his talk with Zevran had been good for him. He reached out and picked up the letter to read it again for himself. It had healed something inside of him to know that despite all that happened that Lanie had still had faith in him. Maybe he could be the king she had thought him. It couldn't hurt to try, could it?

"One last thing," Zevran's voice came floating back to him. "I wasn't going to tell you, but I thought you would like to know. I swear I heard her call your name as she made that last strike at the Archdemon."

* * *

Zevran looked to the sky to check the sun's position as he hurried through the streets of Denerim. He had to hurry. He was going to be late for his meeting with Wynne at the Gnawed Noble. Wynne was surprised how fast the Noble was up and running after the attack on Denerim, but it didn't surprise him one bit that a tavern would be one of the first businesses to re-open.

Zevran entered the establishment and saw Cyril at the bar. He made his way through the crowd so he could speak to the man.

"Hello, Cyril," Zevran said in his melodic voice.

Cyril nodded to him, pointed down the hall, and said, "She's waiting for you. Same room as before."

Zevran thanked him and moved rapidly through the customers to the room where they had met Master Ignacio so many times in the not-so-distant past. "Sorry I'm late," he said breathlessly as he entered.

"It's fine, Zevran. I haven't been here that long. I've just been sitting here enjoying Cyril's fine beer," Wynne replied. "Here's yours," she added as she pushed a mug across the table to him."

"Ah, my thanks," Zevran said as he sat down and took a large swallow.

"Well, how did it go?" Wynne asked expectantly.

"Honestly, it went much better than I expected. I found him alone in his room after he left the council rooms and I talked with you. He let me stay and read the letter Elandria had written and we talked."

"You and Alistair?" Wynne asked questioningly with a raised eyebrow. "This should be good."

"Actually, it was very good," Zevran said a little bit put out at Wynne's comment and then lifted his mug for another drink.

"So, what was in the package besides the letter?" Wynne asked.

"It was a book with a pressed rose inside," Zevran said.

"The rose. Of course," said Wynne.

"You knew about the rose?" Zevran asked.

"Yes, Alistair gave it to her before you joined us. She told me all about it. It was so romantic," Wynne said with a sigh.

_Alistair, romantic?_ Zevran thought, but wisely kept it to himself.

"So, what did Elandria say in her letter?" Wynne asked eagerly.

"Yes, her letter," Zevran breathed. "It was beautiful, Wynne, a work of art. Full of her love for him with just enough kick in the pants to get him moving."

"Zevran!" Wynne protested.

"What? It's true," he said. "You know he needed one. After just attending a funeral for one friend, I am not in a hurry to attend another one. Dispossessed kings tend not to live long you know." After seeing the glare she threw at him, he continued, "Fine. Let me see if I can remember it." He then proceeded to repeat the letter's contents to Wynne.

"Elandria knew him so well. She knew the guilt would tear him up inside and make him question himself. It's good for Alistair to have something of her that affirms her faith in him. I hope it helps to comfort him," Wynne said. "So, what did you talk about?"

"He wanted to know about Elandria on the trips between Denerim and Redcliffe," Zevran answered.

"Ah," Wynne's face grew pinched with memory. "Those weren't good times."

"No, they were not, not for any of us," Zevran agreed. "I think it helped him to hear it though. I also pushed him hard about his actions these past weeks."

"Zevran, what did you say?" Wynne asked with a small glare at him.

"Wynne, I just don't understand why you get so upset with me. I told him about some of the rumblings in the Bannorn. Oh, I also told him to honor Elandria's sacrifice and to be the king she knew he could be and that she died to make him."

Wynne was silent for a moment, but the line between her eyes smoothed away. "Zevran, I'm impressed. That was actually quite good."

"I don't know why you are so surprised, my darling Wynne. You know what a silver-tongued devil I am. Anyway, I am hoping you and the Bannorn will see a different 'King Alistair' tomorrow at the council session," Zevran said.

"Ah, yes," said Wynne as she held her mug up in a toast. "From your lips to the Maker's ears."

Zevran clicked his mug against hers, and they were both quiet for a few minutes as they mulled over the events of the day and enjoyed their beer.

Zevran finally broke the silence with a big sigh, "Wynne, what with all this sneaking around the palace delivering packages and having to relive all the memories again, I find my head hurts. May I rest it on your bosom?"

"ZEVRAN!" Wynne shrieked.


	2. The Council Session

_A. N.: I've portrayed Alistair stronger here than he was in the game. While I loved his sweetness and charm, I was interested in seeing the changes all those choices that were made in game had effected in him. _

* * *

Arl Eamon was in his study in the suite of rooms he and Isolde had been using at the palace in Denerim ever since the Blight ended. Even though they had their estate near the Market District, it was much easier for them to stay in the palace where he could be on hand day or night. He was in the middle of reviewing some trade agreements between Bann Sighard and Bann Alfstanna that needed crown approval when one of the footman escorted a page to his door.

"Yes," he called at the knock, barely lifting his attention from the page in front of him.

A young voice called out, "A message for you, my Lord. From the king."

Eamon's head shot up in surprise. Alistair sending a message to him? This was unusual. "Enter, son," said the arl.

A young boy, about eight years old with light brown hair and a ready smile entered the room. He wore the uniform of the castle staff. "Here, my Lord," he said as he handed the arl a sheet of paper held closed with Alistair's seal.

"My thanks, young man," said Eamon as he took the message and broke the seal. He handed the page a few small coins he had in his desk, and after delivering a respectful bow , he page left the room as quickly as he had entered.

Eamon was surprised to receive the message because for the last six weeks the messages had been going the other way. As Alistair's closest advisor, it was his job to make sure the king was where he needed to be, when he needed to be. He opened the sheet and read the message. "My Lord, if you would be so kind as to join me right after you break your evening fast, I would appreciate it. We have some things we need to discuss. I shall expect you in my sitting room at the 19th hour. Alistair"

The note immediately raised his curiosity. Since Alistair had left Redcliffe as a boy of ten to enter the Chantry's service as a templar, he really didn't know him that well. These past weeks, he had deeply regretted the upbringing Alistair had, but who would ever have expected the turn of events that brought him to the throne of Ferelden? He and Maric were so careful not to ever give the lad any hope that he would one day rule, and now look at the situation they were in. Alistair should have had years of training before assuming the throne through the exposure a life at court would have brought him. The arl still wasn't sure if Alistair had it in him to hold the crown past the next Landsmeet, but as the last known descendant of King Maric, Eamon intended to help him try.

Ever since the siege of Denerim, Alistair had been moody and unpredictable. He supposed it was the loss of his friend, Elandria. After all, at one time they had been just about the only two Grey Wardens left in the kingdom and had traveled together for some time. Still, he would have expected the lad to settle some now that those first weeks were over, but Alistair just seemed to be getting worse. What concerned him even more were the rumors that Isolde had told him were starting to circulate, that Alistair and Elandria had been involved. He only hoped that wasn't true. That's the last thing he needed at this point. Alistair had to find a wife and get an heir, soon. Not only the political situation required it, but with the taint spreading through his body, Alistair had confided to Eamon that his ability to have children was in doubt and diminishing as time went by. He just hoped Alistair didn't hear the rumors. Maker knows what that would do to his uncertain temper.

The arl set aside his papers to work on later that evening when he returned as he realized he would have to get moving to make it to his appointment on time. He left his study and went up to his room to change for dinner and his meeting. After that, he joined his wife in their small dining area in the suite.

"How was your day, my dear?" Eamon asked as he dropped a kiss on the top of his lady wife's head upon entering the dining room. She was already seated and waiting for him at the table. He saw her nod to the servants to indicate they should serve.

"It was fine," Isolde said in her soft voice, "I took Connor to the market to get a last few things to take with him to the Tower. Oh Eamon, must we send him away?" Isolde asked wistfully.

Eamon just shook his head. "Isolde, love, we've been through all this before. The lad must have training. He has to be able to control his power. You saw first hand what happens if he can't."

"I know," Isolde sighed. "I'm just so unhappy about it. I can't stand the thought of him leaving us."

"Cheer up, Isolde. With the loosening of the controls on the mages that Alistair is pushing for, you should even be able to visit him. Just think of it as an extended fostering for the boy," said the arl. "The tower is only a couple of days from here and even closer when we are in Redcliffe."

"I suppose so, my Lord," said Isolde. "I'll try."

"Oh, speaking of Alistair," the arl started.

"In my misery over Connor, I completely forgot to tell you!" broke in the arlessa. "You will never guess what I heard in the market today."

_Oh no. Do I want to hear what you heard in the market today? I really don't think so, _thought the arl to himself. "What was that, my dear?" Eamon asked in a pleasant, light tone but with a feeling of dread.

"I overheard one of the merchants talking with a customer who said that she had heard from a dwarven merchant that used to travel with the king that Alistair and Elandria would share a tent whenever they were in camp," said Isolde. "That can't be right," Isolde said with mock shiver of horror. "The girl was an elf," said Isolde, pointing out the obvious. "I can't believe Alistair would have sunk so low."

_Maker's breath, tell me that isn't true. Tell me it is just malicious gossip,_ thought Eamon. With a sinking feeling, he realized if these rumors kept spreading he was going to have to talk to Alistair about this and find out the truth. If it was true, it was going to make things a lot more complicated.

"I thought she was a fine person, especially since she saved both Connor and I, Isolde," Eamon gently reproved her.

"Oh yes," said Isolde with a quick flush. "She was quite wonderful about the whole situation, but still, you don't…bed them."

Eamon loved his wife, but she could be incredibly narrow minded at times. "I'm sure there is nothing to the rumors. If they keep up, I'll have to speak to Alistair about it, but I'm sure they will die away as some other more exciting event happens. What I started to say is that I need to leave right after dinner. I have a meeting with Alistair."

"Oh," said Isolde. "I didn't realize you had anything scheduled."

"I didn't. Alistair called this meeting," replied Eamon.

"Hum, that is out of character for him. First, cutting off the council session this afternoon and now this meeting tonight," said Isolde.

"How did you know about the council session?" asked Eamon. "I didn't tell you that."

"I heard it in the market," said Isolde.

"The next time I need information about something happening in Denerim, Isolde. I'm sending you to the market," Eamon said.

BREAK

It was just before the 19th hour that Eamon presented himself as requested at the door to Alistair's suite of rooms. He was acknowledged by the guards at the door and allowed entrance into the suite. Alistair was currently using a small set of rooms on the east side of the palace, not terribly far from where he and Isolde were staying, as Anora was still being held under guard in the large, lavish suite that the king normally used. Alistair had told him it didn't bother him at all for Anora to have the rooms. After all, the ones he was currently using gave him more room than he had ever had before in his life. As he stepped into the first, he nodded to the few guards who were in attendance. This room was a combination reception area/cloakroom/break area for the guards and where messengers could come and go or sit on benches along the side wall waiting until they were needed. Next, was a decent-sized room set up for small meetings. The rest of the suite was Alistair's private domain with a study/sitting area, bedroom, and washroom.

When Eamon walked into Alistair's study at the low-voiced, "Come in," that had followed his knock on the door, he saw Alistair sitting at the desk. He seemed to actually be paying close attention to whatever was on the page in front of him. Alistair looked up at him with a slight smile and said, "Eamon, I'm glad you are here. Sorry, I was just trying to get a few things done while I was waiting for you." He laid the page aside and turned his attention to Eamon.

"Well, you look like you are hard at work," said Eamon in surprise.

Alistair gave a big sigh. "I know. You've been pushing me to review this trade deal material for three days now, and I figured I had better give it some attention. Here, sit down. I need to talk to you."

"While I am delighted to see you are hard at work, can I say, I'm slightly surprised," said Eamon.

"I know, I know," said Alistair. "I've hardly put my nose to grindstone these past weeks, have I? I'm sorry I've made you do most of the work."

While this was music to Eamon's ears as he had been trying to get the lad's attention on business for quite some time, he wasn't sure he trusted this rapid turn around. "And may I ask what caused your interest in trade agreements all of a sudden?" he asked.

"Just call it a reminder from an old friend or two about duty and responsibility," said Alistair, having no intention of getting into a discussion with the arl about Lanie or Zevran for that matter. "But, that's not what I called you here to talk about."

"So, tell me what's on your mind," Eamon said, and Alistair proceeded to do just that. It ended up being a long night as the two men worked late into the night planning for the next day's council session.

* * *

Eamon met back up with Alistair the next morning so they could attend the council session together. "Ready, my lad?" Eamon questioned.

"My stomach hurts so bad I couldn't even have breakfast. I hope I don't get sick right there in the middle of everyone," Alistair said.

Eamon set a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "You'll do fine. I think we've got everything covered."

"I sure hope so," said Alistair, "but that still doesn't make my stomach stop rolling."

Alistair normally dressed in whatever Adwen, his serving man, laid out for him, but today, they had carefully planned his wardrobe. He was dressed simply in black leather pants and boots. He wore a shirt of the lightest silk, silver background with a mabari head motif in dark blue. He wore the silver coronet he had taken to wearing in place of a crown. He also uncharacteristically carried his sword Starfang on his back, as he had through the many months leading up to the final battle in Denerim. The lightening rune inlayed on Starfang's hilt caused the sword to shimmer as though forks of lightening were running up and down the blade. Duncan's shield and his mighty Juggernaut armor remained in his rooms as Alistair didn't expect a fight today. The sword was just there as a reminder. He and Eamon figured many would remember what happened the last time he had come to the palace bearing Starfang on his back during the Landsmeet.

He and Eamon left his suite surrounded by his guards, purposefully timing it so they would arrive about ten minutes late to the council chamber. "I'll go in first as we planned," Eamon said. "Good luck," he offered with a last squeeze to Alistair's arm.

Alistair felt his stomach give another lurch as Eamon slipped into the council chamber. He was extremely nervous, but he tried to school himself to stillness. He started one of his templar meditations while waiting for the call from Eamon.

As this was not the full Landsmeet, they were in a room in the palace with lots of benches with a central aisle way and an elevated platform at the front where Alistair would usually sit, along with some of the other higher-level advisers. The small speaking lectern had been removed from the front of the platform as they planned. Eamon stepped up to the front of the platform and started to call everyone to order. "My lords and ladies, your attention please." He paused to allow the talk to die down and for people to turn their attention to him. "Normally, we would get right down to the agenda for the day, but this morning we are doing things a little different," Eamon said. He saw he had captured their interest now. He continued on and raised the volume in his strong voice, "All rise for His Royal Majesty, Alistair Theirin, King of Ferelden."

As soon as Alistair heard Eamon finish, he threw the door open so hard there was a resounding bang as it slammed into the wall behind it. He moved purposefully into the room followed by a full contingent of his guard. He saw expressions of surprise on people's faces as they were caught still in the act of rising. He strode up the central aisle way as his guard fell into position along the walls. As he reached the platform at the front of the room, he leapt upon it with his easy warrior's grace and turned to face the room. Alistair paused, settled his weight back on his heels, and stood with his arms folded across his chest until every person there was on their feet. (_How many times had he watched Lanie assume the exact same position?_) He let the crowd feel his gaze as his eyes swept the room. He could hear the low mumble of voices start so he dropped his arms and began.

"Please be seated, noble lords and ladies as I have quite a few things to say this morning and I wish no one to be uncomfortable." Alistair paused as everyone regained their seats upon the benches. He then continued, "I would like to thank each one of you for your hard work and commitment to returning order to Ferelden over these past few weeks. However, I feel we have reached the point where we do not need to keep such a large number of you tied up here in Denerim. As such, I'm dissolving this council as of today. To replace it, the first thing I'm doing is officially naming Arl Eamon Guerrin as Chancellor of the Realm. Under him will be a small group of advisors that shall form the ruling council. The recent times we have lived through has proven to me that Ferelden needs to stand united, humans, elves, dwarves, mages, every group that resides within this country. The Blight would still be going on without the gathering of the Grey Warden allies, and I feel it is in our best interest to continue to interact with each other. As such, the ruling council will be comprised of members selected by both Chancellor Eamon and myself, and it _will_ include representation for all the peoples of Ferelden." Alistair paused.

The room erupted as many people started talking at once.

"Silence!" roared Alistair. The room quieted.

"Bann Ceorlic, I believe you have something to say?" Alistair asked.

"You'd better believe I do!" said the bann as he jumped to his feet. "I can't believe you honestly expect us to put up with this. I mean," continued the bann as he looked around the room, "We aren't just going to let a -ah -ah," the bann's voice trailed off at the sound of the twelve swords of Alistair's guard clearing their scabbards all at once. Alistair remained standing at the front of the room with his arms once again crossed in front of his chest.

Alistair let the tension draw out a moment or two and then nodded to the guard commander. Bann Ceorlic swallowed loudly as the swords were returned just as quickly to their scabbards and all twelve men went to parade rest once more.

With something else he had learned from watching Lanie, Alistair lowered his voice slightly and spoke very quietly, "Yes, Bann Ceorlic, a what? I'll be happy to assume the next words out of your mouth would have been 'a noble son of Maric' if you would like," offered Alistair.

"Yes, your Majesty," said the bann in a voice barely above a whisper. "That's exactly what I was going to say."

"Fine, that's what I thought. Take your seat then," said Alistair dropping his arms and beginning to pace across the front of the platform.

"As I was saying," Alistair said. "Some of you will be receiving invitations to join us as advisors. If you do, I hope you will seriously consider the offer. If you feel you can't accept, then please feel free to decline. I wish no one to serve unwillingly. If you don't get asked, it is just because I only have so many positions to fill. I mean no insult to anyone here. If you do decide to take me up on this offer, you will be required to spend the majority of your time here in Denerim assisting in the running of the realm."

"Now, for the next matter I would like to discuss. I want to make it absolutely clear that the Lady Anora is out of the path of succession. I understand that there have been those who may be questioning the decision that was made during this year's Landsmeet." Alistair moved to the very front of the platform and let his gaze sweep the room. "I will give this warning one time and one time only. Any attempts to alter that outcome and bring Anora to the throne will be viewed as treason, and you all already know the price for those who commit treason against Ferelden and its king, as Teyrn Loghain found out to his dismay. The dowager queen will be allowed to settle in one of the properties FAR FROM DENERIM that she received in her marriage contract with King Cailan. She will retire there with suitable companions. Anyone who wishes may feel free to accompany and remain with her. Her travel arrangements are already being planned." As there were just a few grumbles at this and no clear outburst, Alistair let it pass.

"As everyone in this room knows as of right now I have no heir of my body. Bann Teagan," Alistair called.

"Yes, your Majesty," came Teagan's voice from the back of the room.

"Come forward," called Alistair.

Teagan's compact form came striding up to Alistair. He stopped, went down on one knee, put his right hand to left shoulder, bowed his head, and said, "I am here, your Majesty."

Alistair gave a little laugh and said, "Stand up, Teagan. Up here beside me."

Teagan was totally confused at this point. Eamon and Alistair hadn't told him what was to happen today, and Alistair thought it would be a nice surprise. Teagan's face showed his confusion.

Alistair continued. "As of right now and until the birth of my first-born child know that this man stands as my heir."

Teagan's face went white with shock.

Alistair said, "You'll have to excuse Bann Teagan, he didn't know this was coming. Cheer up though because I don't expect that you will have this burden long, Teagan," Alistair said as he threw a friendly arm around Teagan's shoulders. "One of the first matters I plan to address these next months is the selection of a queen, hopefully followed shortly by the birth of my first child."

Alistair dropped his arm, and Teagan moved to stand to Alistair's right and slightly behind him. "It may seem that I am favoring the house of Guerrin unfairly. The reason these men have been selected is strictly for the strength of their character and their willingness to put Ferelden before their own personal agendas. I have personally seen this to be true. Know that I will only advance those to positions of authority who show these attributes as well. Love Ferelden and serve her interests, those are the requirements I set for service at my court.

"As this council session is ending and you all make plans to leave for your individual domains, I have one charge I want to pass on to each and every one of you. This country has been through quite a time this past year with the loss of my brother, the Blight, the attack on Denerim, my own rise to the throne, and all the uncertainty that has arisen around these events. I want each and every one of you to go back to your properties and estates and try to reassure the people who depend on you. Reassure them that while there still may be tough times ahead that things will return to normal. Let them know that we will be working extremely hard here at the palace to ensure this and that their king cares about their lives and their troubles.

"In many ways this past year, I was a lucky man," Alistair said. "I traveled back and forth across Ferelden seeing her in all her glory and all her misery as well. I saw wondrous things that made your heart soar and things to give you nightmares. I saw the devastation that was Ostagar. I stood in Lothering and watched the misery that ensued in advance of the Horde's advance. I walked the dwarven halls of Orzammar and trod the darkspawn-infested tunnels of the Deep Roads and managed to return alive. I camped with the Dalish and spoke with the Grand Oak of the Brecilian Forest. I knelt before the Urn of Sacred Ashes in its temple and then watched as a man was restored to his life. I saw first hand the misery of the elves in the alienage in this very city. I laid nestled in a Ferelden valley on a cool autumn's night safe in its embrace and stood tall on the summits of the Frostback Mountains where the snow never melts." _I found and lost the woman who was my other half, _the thought flashing through his head in an instant.

"As much as I love this land, I never dreamed of being its king. I never wanted to be king. In fact, I spent weeks trying to hide from the fact, but NO MORE. I tell you now, king you all have made me, then KING I SHALL BE!" Alistair ended almost with a roar. He jumped off the platform and strode for the exit, keeping his eyes straight ahead. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw most of those assembled drop to the formal posture of respect as Bann Teagan had done earlier. He knew Chancellor Eamon would be watching the crowd to try and ascertain from their reaction those that might possibly be troublemakers in the months ahead.

Teagan followed Alistair down the aisle way and the guard encircled both of them as they exited the room. _Where in the world had this display come from?_ He could barely believe it was really Alistair. Even just a few months ago when Eamon had been sick almost to death in his bed, Alistair had seemed nothing more than a pleasant, easy going, slightly goofy young man.

Once they were out of the room and headed towards Alistair's suite, Alistair turned to Teagan with a pleased grin on his face. "That went well, don't you think? My stomach was so upset this morning I was afraid I was going to be sick right up there in front of everybody, but as soon as I started, it quit bothering me."

"Remarkable performance, your Majesty," Teagan said. "I'm quite impressed."

"Anyway," Alistair continued in a low voice, "Sorry about the whole heir business. You do realize it doesn't really mean a thing. If something does happen to me, whoever becomes king will have to gain the approval of the Landsmeet. Eamon and I just thought it might be a good tactic if I had someone designated already."

"I'm honored by your confidence in me," Teagan said. "Although a little warning would have been nice!" he complained.

"Oh no! The look on your face was priceless. There isn't a person who was in that room that has any doubts that you were totally in the dark," Alistair said. "Of course, you'll have to follow me around to formal functions and look all serious and such. As an added bonus, you also get to help Eamon and I with all the work as well as all your family obligations. Still sound like fun?" Alistair asked.

Teagan and Alistair continued lightly chatting about the morning's events as they walked the halls of the palace ever mindful that they were surrounded by listening ears as they headed back to Alistair's rooms. Alistair told Teagan that Eamon was to meet him there.

As they entered the meeting room in Alistair's suite to wait for the chancellor, Teagan was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar form come from the directions of Alistair's rooms to greet them. "Gabriel, how good to see you," Teagan said as he reached down to drop a pat of greeting on the mabari's head. "I didn't realize he had imprinted to you," Teagan said to Alistair.

"I don't think he has," Alistair said. "After...what happened, he seems willing enough to stay with me. He just comes and goes as he pleases. He was driving the guards crazy so I just told them all that he could come in and out of my rooms as he wanted. When he shows up, they open doors for him and let him in. I understand it can be pretty funny when someone is in the waiting area and Gabriel shows up at the door. Some people have gotten quite upset that the dog is allowed in right away unannounced," said Alistair with a small smile.

As they were now alone, Alistair told Teagan to drop the "your Majesty" in private and call him Alistair as he always had. The two men continued chatting for a time as they settled into chairs, especially about the ramifications of the scene with Bann Ceorlic. Gabriel made himself comfortable on a rug on the floor at their feet. Soon the chancellor joined them.

"That went just fine. You did extremely well, Alistair. I doubt the hall has settled down yet. Judging from the reaction after you left, there are only a few malcontents I'm worried about. I'll arrange to keep them under a close watch for a time, but I think all in all it was a very successful morning's work. I think you quieted quite a bit of the lords' uncertainty today, Alistair," the chancellor said.

* * *

Later that evening, Alistair and Gabriel were alone in his bedroom. All his servants had been dismissed, and Alistair was sprawled out in a chair with Lanie's letter in his lap and a small carafe of wine on the table beside him. He had a goblet in his hand he would take periodic sips from. After reading her letter one more time, Alistair looked up at Gabriel who was lying on the floor with his large head resting on his paws watching him.

"Well, what do you think, boy?" Alistair asked Gabriel. "Think she would have approved of today's little scene?"

Gabriel sat up and gave a sharp bark before lying back down again.

"I really wish I knew what that meant," said Alistair. "I hope she knows how much I miss her."

Gabriel rose whining, came over, and laid his head in Alistair's lap.

"I know you miss her too," Alistair said.

As Alistair sat patting Gabriel, his eyes landed on his bed. After seven weeks without Lanie beside him at nights, he was adjusting to once again sleeping alone. He couldn't help but wonder who the woman would be who would soon be sharing his bed. He desperately wished he could wait a few years before having to take a bride; however, the taint coursing through his body didn't allow him that luxury. He _must_ have an heir. He had come too far and lost too much to give up now.


	3. The Search

Alistair stood nervously in front of the looking glass. Tonight was it; his search would begin in earnest. Lady Isolde had been planning this affair for two months now, ever since his very public declaration that he would be searching for a queen. It had been decided that there would be three balls held in the palace, one a week for the next three weeks, and he would make a selection after the last ball. This would give Alistair the chance to meet as many of the eligible ladies of the court as possible. He had been assured by Isolde that anyone with an even remotely eligible candidate would be attending at least one, if not all of them.

From what he heard from Zevran, Denerim was filled to bursting as nobles from across Ferelden came to try and entice the king's choice. Zevran was even complaining that his favorite low-life tavern, _The Broken Sword_ was overcrowded with all the hired guards and extra servants in town. He never would have expected it, but somehow he and the elf assassin from Antiva had become friends. It had started after Zevran delivered Lanie's letter to him. Zevran had shown up a few evenings later claiming to be low on sovereigns and just wanting to drink Alistair's wine. Alistair and Zevran had sat up late into the night drinking in Alistair's rooms. To this day, he couldn't remember half of what they had talked about. After that, Zevran had started dropping by every couple of evenings. At first, they had spent all their time in Alistair's rooms. One night when Zevran had dropped by, he asked Alistair if he ever got out of the palace.

"You mean, by myself, like a normal person?" Alistair had asked. "Are you kidding? Ser Hugh would have my head!"

Zevran had gotten a gleam in his eye, but then seemed to lose interest in the topic and moved on to something else. The next time he sneaked into Alistair's rooms he came bearing a large bundle.

"Zev, I'll never understand how you do it. How could you sneak in here carrying that?"

"Skill and style, Alistair, both of which I'm afraid you have in short supply," Zevran answered.

"Ha, ha," said Alistair sardonically. "What's in that package anyway?"

"It's for you," Zevran replied.

"For me, oh wow! Wow!" Alistair said. "What is it?"

Zevran lips curled up in a slight smile. Some things never changed. He opened up the bundle to reveal a set of well-used leather armor.

Alistair looked at Zevran with a question in his eyes, "Well, thanks, but I have my own armor. What do I need this for?"

"Ah, now that is the question isn't it? We are going to put this on you, smudge up your face some, and sneak out of the palace."

"WHAT!" exclaimed Alistair. "I don't know about this, Zevran," Alistair said uneasily.

"You'll be in armor and you will have the best bodyguard in all Denerim, me," said Zevran. "Come on, Alistair. Have some fun."

"I'm not very good at this sneak stuff, remember?" Alistair said. "I'm more the charge and knock them down with your shield type."

"You just need some practice," Zevran said. "I'll help you."

And true to his word, Zevran did give Alistair some instruction in how to move quietly and stealthily. He even showed Alistair the small hidden passage he had found in Alistair's sitting room. Zevran originally was sneaking in through a window, but had discovered this small passage whose outlet was well down past where the guards were stationed. This allowed him access to Alistair's rooms and now allowed them both out without anyone realizing it. The first couple of times they left Alistair's rooms they practiced moving around in the palace, but as Alistair's ability to move in the shadows grew, they eventually started going out into the town.

The first night Zevran had taken him to _The Broken Sword _Alistair had been a little nervous and afraid he would be recognized. When Zevran glided up to the bartender and demanded a drink for "me and my best buddy Al," he had almost fainted to the floor. He gradually relaxed as he realized no one was paying him the slightest bit of attention. He was a little bit embarrassed when he realized he didn't have any money, and Zev ended up having to pay for both their drinks.

Zevran had harassed him all the way back to the palace. "It is sad what this world has come to when the assassin has to pay for the king," said Zevran with a big sigh and dramatic rolling of his eyes.

"Well, you didn't exactly give me any warning, did you? What do I need money for? It's not like I have to pay for meals at the palace," Alistair said, determined to find out the next day exactly how a king did get his hands on some coins. He thought the chancellor was slightly suspicious at his sudden desire to have some loose coin on hand to reward servants with, but at least he now had money.

Alistair was waiting for Teagan to join him before they both would descend to the floor where the ball was being held. As both the king and his heir were unmarried, Alistair was having Teagan share in the fun of meeting all the eligible women. _Yeah, it's gonna be some fun,_ thought Alistair bleakly. Once again his stomach was tied in knots. He wasn't looking forward to this evening one bit. Surprisingly, over the past few weeks, it had turned out that Alistair had a flare for speaking in front of groups of people. He still ran into trouble when talking to someone one-on-one, though.

He was so worried about it in fact that he had asked Zevran for help. Once the assassin had quit laughing at him, he had agreed to help. They had come up with some comments for him to memorize that he could use if he got himself into trouble, which Alistair was sure Zevran was convinced he would.

Alistair took stock of his reflection once more. Isolde had wanted to dress him up in tunic and hose, but Alistair had refused. Since Cailan had been known as the "golden prince," Alistair had avoided gold tones and usually gone for silvers and blues, but not tonight. He was in soft doeskin trousers with high top boots. His shirt was of the softest brown with gold highlights that served to bring out his eyes. He hadn't been sure about it when his man servant was putting the ensemble together, but somehow the man had managed to find a tone that looked good on him. _Well, it's not a templar uniform, but I guess it will do_, was Alistair's thought. He also was wearing a gold coronet tonight instead of the everyday silver one, and after weeks of dance class, he had high hopes he wouldn't embarrass himself on the dance floor.

He turned at Teagan's knock on the door. "Enter," he called.

Teagan came in through the door. "Ready?" he asked. Teagan had freshly trimmed hair and beard and was sporting a similar ensemble to Alistair's except in green and brown.

Alistair threw Teagan a look which made him burst out laughing, "It's a ball, Alistair, not a darkspawn invasion."

"I think I'd rather face the darkspawn," Alistair said.

* * *

Alistair returned to his rooms just before dawn. Well, he had survived the first one of Isolde's balls. He'd even managed not to embarrass himself more than once or twice the entire night. He now knew what a prize bull felt like going to market, though. As soon as he and Teagan had entered the ballroom, he could feel the eyes upon him and hear the whispering start. Chancellor Eamon had arranged that he would have the first dance with Elissa Cousland. He supposed as the sister of the other, loyal Teyrn, she was the one everyone expected him to choose. He had entered into their dance willingly enough. He supposed she was beautiful, but it was a cold beauty, one that did not touch him. He danced every dance, but never with the same girl twice. Every single one of the women had seemed nice and willing to please, but did he really expect anything else?

He was such a fool. He had been hoping to feel something like he had from that first moment with Lanie. The way she had tipped her head and looked at him with such a puzzled expression on her face as she told him what a strange human he was had caused an almost physical pull towards her. It wasn't until later as they left Ostagar and began traveling together that he realized she had no idea what humor was. He remembered how she used to watch them in camp as he and some of the others laughed together, trying so hard to figure out what was happening. It had taken him weeks to get the first laugh out of her, but it had been worth it. Maybe that's what had drawn them together, he had been the boy without love and she had been the girl that couldn't laugh. Even though it had only been a year since that time, Alistair felt immeasurably older. How innocent they both had been then, so sure they could save the world and that there wasn't anything they couldn't do together.

Alistair was still standing staring sightlessly out the window reliving old memories when Zevran came into the room.

"A most excellent evening," Zevran said as he gracefully dropped into a chair.

Alistair turned his head towards him. "Were you there?"

"Are you kidding? Miss a chance to see you in a room full of single women?" asked Zevran. "Plus the opportunities…"

"Zevran," Alistair drew out his name slowly, "did you take advantage of a lady of the court?"

"Now Alistair, that would be telling," replied Zevran. He and Alistair continued to banter back and forth for a few minutes and then the room went quiet.

"I don't know if I can do this, Zev," said Alistair. "It's just too soon. How can I pick someone to take her place?"

"From what I hear from those in love, you can't. You have to make a new place. Of course, I'm probably not the best person to ask about love. Sex, now, there I can help you. You just pick the woman with the best bosom and go from there."

"Zevran, please," said Alistair in exasperation. "Can't you be serious?"

"Serious, huh?" said Zevran as if he found that a very strange concept. "The problem is you need to take a new woman, but you still want the old one. The way I see it, you can do one of two things. You either find one as alike to Elandria as you can, or you pick one who is totally different. As the only slim women with pointy ears I saw in the ballroom tonight were carrying trays, my guess is you will have to go with the second option," finished Zevran.

Zevran and Alistair spent a little more time talking together before Zevran left. Alistair went to get a few hours sleep before having to start tomorrow's business. After three months of being king, he thought he was starting to get the hang of it. He spent some of his days in audiences and meetings, but he also took the time to keep up his templar battle training by sparring with his guards. You never knew when a fight might break out.

The next few days passed without much happening except for a dreadful meeting with the chancellor and his wife the following morning. They wanted to discuss which women Alistair was interested in. When he admitted to having no preference, they then proceeded to go through most of the eligible women citing each one's advantages and disadvantages as queen. Alistair pretended to listen politely and made his excuses as soon as he could.

Teagan cornered him the next day wanting to know if any one particular woman had stood out. Alistair tried to turn the tables and asked him if he had found anyone interesting. Teagan said, "You forget, Alistair. I already know most of these women. I've been running into them at different events half my life. You are the one that they all want to meet."

"Lucky me," said Alistair. "Teagan, what would you do if you were me?" he asked.

Teagan thought a moment before replying, "Since you don't have time to really get to know anyone, I would suggest trying to find someone you think you can like. Plenty of marriages have started on the basis of friendship. I've also known some men who try to find a shy, biddable girl who will not complain overmuch as to how they spend their time. I would wish you to find someone to make you happy, Alistair," Teagan finished kindly.

The next night, Alistair was in his rooms. He was attempting to concentrate on the latest batch of paperwork the Arl wanted him to finish. He sat at his desk and read the same page three times before giving up. He started pacing around the rooms, but that didn't do any good either. He finally decided that he would go take a walk. He opened the hidden passage in his meeting room where he had taken to storing the armor Zevran had brought for him. He quickly put it on. This would be the first time he had snuck out on his own. He was just too restless to stay cooped up in his rooms that night.

He shut the door to the passage and moved down to the exit door. He stood quietly trying to hear if anyone was in the hallway into which the door opened. He cracked the door and once again stood listening. When he didn't hear anything, he very slowly started pushing the door open. He quickly moved through the door and swung it almost shut. He pushed it the last bit very gently and the door closed with a small click. Once again, he stood listening. Not hearing anything, he moved off down the hall.

Alistair didn't really have a destination in mind. He just felt like he needed to be moving instead of sitting around. He was going to be glad when the next two weeks were over and the choice was made. It seemed that every single person he met had either a helpful suggestion or opinion to offer on who he should pick. Maybe he should just have all the women interested line up, close his eyes, and point. That made about as much sense as what he was currently doing.

Alistair came to a cross passage where he knew there would be a patrolling guard. He carefully eased up to the edge of the hall he was in so he could try to locate the guard. He held himself pressed as tightly against the wall as he could. He could see the guard's back was to him, so he quickly crossed the passageway and reached the other side safely. A grin crossed his face as he thought that Zevran would be proud of him. He would never be able to silently drift through the shadows like Zevran could, but he had to admit it was kind of fun sneaking around the palace without anyone the wiser.

Alistair continued moving through the palace. He was in a portion of it that he wasn't terribly familiar with, but he knew there was a small chapel up ahead. As he came near the door, he suddenly realized that a guard would be patrolling this passage. He quickly ducked into the chapel so he could watch for when the guard came through and then he would continue on his way. As he was standing in the small entryway, he could hear what sounded like muffled crying from the chapel itself. Alistair moved to look out past the entry wall, and by the light of a single candle, he saw a woman in the front of the room. He stood there frozen with indecision. Should he approach her and see if he could get her to be quiet? If not, she was sure to draw the guard on his rounds with her crying. What if she recognized him? He thought about it a moment and decided to approach her.

As Alistair moved towards the woman and he could see her better, he started trying to place her. She didn't look familiar to him. She had long dark hair and looked young, maybe in her late teens. Hopefully, she wouldn't know who he was. "Lady," he called softly. The woman had been in profile to him as he advanced, but at his soft call, she turned towards him. She had a pretty face with dark brown eyes. She looked startled but not scared. She immediately turned her face from him and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Yes," she said in a soft voice not meeting his eyes. "May I help you?"

"Are you all right?" asked Alistair, his natural goodheartedness coming to the surface.

"I'm fine," said the girl. "Thank you. Did you want something? "

"I couldn't help but hear you cr….um that is, there's a guard who is going to be coming," said Alistair. "I'm not really supposed to be here," he added lamely. _Maker's breath, I should have had something ready to say. I'm not good at this making stuff up as I go. _

"I see," said the girl consideringly. "It's a chapel. Why shouldn't you be here?"

_What to say now? _"I'm not really supposed to be in this part of the palace," said Alistair. _There, that didn't sound too bad. _

The girl just continued to look at him.

Alistair could feel the sweat begin to break out on his body. "I'm Al," he burst out at last. "Al the Guard. Well, that's not really a last name is it? More of a job description actually," he trailed off. _Maker's mercy, Alistair, just stop talking! _

"My name is Briana," she finally offered. "My father is castellan for Bann Alfstanna at the Bann of Waking Sea."

"An honor, my Lady," said Alistair with a bow. With all the information that had been stuffed into his head recently about protocol, he knew the exact depth to make the bow. "As I said, my name is Al. I'm with an independent merchant company, the Blackstone Irregulars, if you are familiar with them," said Alistair. _That sounded reasonably intelligent,_ thought Alistair. "We've been hired to provide extra security for the next few weeks," he finished. _Eamon would be proud of me. See I really was listening when he was telling me about it. _"I'm sorry to barge in on you like this, but as I said, I'm really not supposed to be in this part of the palace unless I'm on duty."

"Well, I promise not to tell," she said with a small smile.

"If you are sure you are all right, I will watch for the guard and leave you in peace," said Alistair.

"Thank you, Al," said Briana.

"For what?" asked Alistair.

"For being kind to a stranger," said Briana.

"You're welcome," Alistair mumbled as he beat a hasty retreat.

* * *

The next night, Alistair once again found himself ghosting through the palace. He wasn't really sure why he was doing this, but he found himself heading to the same small chapel he had encountered Lady Briana in last night. He approached the entryway and glanced in. He moved into the chapel itself as he could see the glow of a candle.

"Good evening, my Lady," he said as he could see that indeed it was she.

Briana turned to him from the pew she was sitting in with a small smile. "Why good evening, Al the Guard," she said. "Are you out wandering where you aren't supposed to be again?" she asked teasingly.

Alistair flushed and mumbled something about her catching him out and about again. He moved to sit in the pew in front of her and sat sideways with his arm stretched out along the pew's back.

"I get bored just sitting in my room," said Alistair.

"I can understand that," Briana said. "I'm surprised you aren't out in town with some of the other men in the evenings."

"I have a friend I sometimes go out into Denerim with, but he hasn't been available the past few nights," Alistair said."But what brings you to the chapel?" Alistair asked.

"Oh, it is a long habit of mine," Briana answered.

"Not many people are so constant in their devotions to the Maker," Alistair said.

Briana had a playful smile on her face. "Well, while I admit I do thank the Maker for the day's joys, I don't spend all my time praying. I find it a good place to think," she added.

"What do you think about?" asked Alistair curious in spite of himself.

"When I'm at home, I study with the castle healer. I find it a useful exercise to sit in the quiet of the Maker's chapel and catalogue what I have learned that day. It helps me to remember things. No one disturbs me when I'm there," explained Briana.

"Do you enjoy healing?" asked Alistair.

"I do," Briana answered enthusiastically. "My gran was a wonderful herbalist. She taught me much of what I know. Once I got older after gran had passed, Bann Alfstanna didn't seem to mind if I spent time with the castle's healer so that is what I do."

"I imagine that is more interesting than say embroidery," said Alistair. "Not that there is anything wrong with embroidery," he hurriedly finished, just in case that was her second favorite hobby.

"Anything but that," Briana said. "I don't sew well," she confided. The conversation trailed off after that.

After a few minutes, Alistair hesitantly began, "If you don't mind me asking, why were you upset yesterday?"

"Well, I was actually more angry than anything else. Ever since I was young, I cry when I get mad. I hate that, but I can't seem to stop it," she confessed. She looked at him appraisingly and then seemed to make up her mind to speak. "I have a cousin, Larana that I grew up with. Unfortunately, when we were twelve, she began to exhibit signs of mage power. The templars came and took her away," she said sadly. "I haven't seen her in seven years. I thought with the king's proclamation about giving the mages more freedom, I would be able to see her again. My father had sent a letter to the tower asking for permission for us to visit. He just received the answer back from his messenger yesterday. It was from one of the templars. I can't remember his name now, something like Gregory, I think," she said.

"Knight-Commander Greagoir, probably," said Alistair.

"Why yes," Briana said in surprise. "I do think that is the name now that you say it. He said that Larana had been informed that we wanted to see her, but she didn't want to see us. I don't believe that for a minute," she said passionately. "Larana and I were best friends all through our childhood. There is no way she wouldn't want to see me."

_Interesting, maybe I need to send my old friend Greagoir a visitor and see what he is up to, _thought Alistair to himself. _The mages deserve a little more freedom. What can it hurt to let them see their families if they would like?_

"I just thought that since the king… ," she trailed off. "Oh, who am I kidding, he probably doesn't even care," said Briana.

"He probably doesn't even know," said Alistair. "I'm sure he's been a little busy trying to learn how to be king and doesn't even realize what is going on at the Circle." _This was definitely turning into a strange conversation._

"So, do you think the rumors are true?" asked Briana after another lengthy pause.

Alistair looked at her with a puzzled look on his face. "I don't know. What rumors are you talking about?" he asked.

"The ones about the king, silly," she said.

_Maker's breath, what rumors?_ "I haven't heard them," said Alistair. "Why, what are they saying?"

"Oh come on, everybody's heard them. They're all over the city," said Briana.

_Well, obviously not in the royal chambers where I spend my time,_ thought Alistair_. _"I really haven't heard them. What are people saying?" asked Alistair.

"They are saying that the king was in love with that elf woman. You know the one, the one that ended the Blight and died. I heard they used to share a tent together," confided Briana.

"Oh," said Alistair weakly. He felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. _Am I to have no privacy left in my life at all? Every moment to be watched and gossiped about? My entire past laid out for anyone to see and comment on?_

"I rather hope it is true," said Briana.

"What?" said Alistair dumbly.

"I feel sorry for the King. Bann Alfstanna had a bard come to the castle that sang _The King's Lament_. It's a beautiful song about the poor bastard prince who didn't want to be king. Have you heard it?"

"Yes," said Alistair. "I've heard it." _Leliana, if I ever get my hands on you again…_

"I think it is sad that he spent most of his life as a secret, nobody really wanting him, and then when it was convenient he was suddenly remembered and pushed into becoming king. Anyway, I hope he did have some happiness in his life before then. I think he deserves it," said Briana.

"That's very kind of you. Doesn't the fact that she was an elf repulse you?" asked Alistair curiously.

"No, why? Elves are people too. The best healer Bann Alfstanna ever had was an elf. I wish I could have learned more from her before she left," said Briana.

"That's a very unusual attitude to have," said Alistair.

Briana just shrugged a shoulder. They chatted for a few minutes longer before Briana needed to get back to her room.

"I might be about tomorrow night, but I have to stand duty the night after," said Alistair as that was the night of the second ball.

"And I just might be in the chapel tomorrow night," said Briana with a smile.

Alistair took that to mean he would be welcome to join her again the next night and so he did. On the third night, he really meant to tell her who he was. He was pretty sure from her conversation that she would be in attendance at the ball the next evening. What if she saw him there? However, as their time together wore on, he kept coming up with excuses not to tell her. The first ball had been so crowded that he was sure he didn't see half the people there. Since Briana was only minor nobility with a distant connection to Bann Alfstanna, surely he could avoid her. It was nice to have someone be comfortable with him, which allowed him to just be himself. He didn't want to lose that yet, so he didn't tell her.

* * *

Alistair drew a sigh of relief. The ball was almost over and he hadn't seen one sign of Briana, just a little longer and then he could leave. He was just finishing a dance with Lady Cerdwin when he turned and saw Briana staring at him with an accusatory look in her eyes. _I have the worst luck. Just a few more dances and I would have been in the clear. _Even though he was supposed to dance the next dance with Lady Aithne, he walked over to Briana and asked, "May I have this dance, my Lady?" and he pulled her into his arms and turned her out to the dance floor before she could say anything.

"Al the Guard?" she hissed at him.

"Smile," said Alistair. "You just met me and are having a good time."

"I'll show you a good time, you lying…man," was all Briana could come up with.

"Briana, please. We can't talk here. Meet me tomorrow night and I'll explain everything," Alistair said softly. "Now smile," said Alistair once again as he spun her into the dance and launched into a discussion on the weather in a louder voice.

* * *

Once again, Alistair slipped into the chapel wearing Zevran's armor. As before, Briana was already there. When Alistair came into view, Briana stood up from the pew she was sitting in near the front of the chapel and started to sweep into a curtsy and said, "Your Maj-"

Alistair broke in, "Stop, please, just stop. This is why I didn't tell you who I was. I hate this, Briana, all the bowing and scraping. I spent my first ten years living in a stable. Believe me, nobody bowed to the bastard in the barn. I was enjoying being able to be just me again. I'm sorry, I know I should have told you. I just didn't want to."

He turned to look at her. He saw her eyes lighten as some of the anger leached away. "I don't know what to call you," Briana finally said.

"Alistair is fine or even Al the Guard if you would like," said Alistair with a smile. "Am I to be forgiven then?" he asked.

Briana gave him a small smile, "I suppose," she said. "I was just so shocked to see you out on the dance floor."

"Well," Alistair admitted. "My plan was for you not to see me, but it wasn't a very good plan obviously."

He settled down into the pew beside her but not touching her. The silence dragged on.

"Oh, I wanted to let you know. You should be able to see your cousin soon. I dispatched a couple of messengers to the Circle Tower with instructions to investigate the new changes that have been instituted, including visitation for family members. I expect the Knight-Commander will be fit to be tied when they get there," Alistair said with a small chuckle.

"You did?" Briana cried. "That's wonderful! Thank you!"

"Thank you for reminding me. I've been so busy with other things that I didn't even think about checking up on the mages," Alistair said. "A king should keep his word and you helped me to do that," he finished.

Another long silence ensued. Alistair finally cleared his throat. "Briana, what would you say if I asked you to marry me and be my queen?"

"Me?" she squeaked in shock.

"Don't say anything yet. There are some things you need to know first," Alistair said as he ran his hand nervously through his hair. "You know I'm a Grey Warden, right?" he asked.

She nodded her head.

"Do you know what that means?" he asked.

"You kill darkspawn," she said hesitantly.

"Yes," said Alistair. "That is very true, but there is more to it. Because of the way we are made Grey Wardens, my life is shortened."

"Shortened?" Briana asked.

"Yes," Alistair said leaning over with his weight on his arms resting on his thighs. "If I'm lucky, I have somewhere between twenty-five to thirty years to live. It varies depending on the Warden. You see, we carry the taint inside each of us, which is the price we pay to be what we are. But that's not the only thing, the taint also affects our ability to have children. Even if a Grey Warden and a nontainted person manage to conceive, there is still the possibility the child will be tainted and not survive. I've been a Warden under two years, so there's still a good chance that I could have an untainted child if the mother wasn't tainted herself. That's the real reason for this rush to find a queen. As Maric's last descendent, I have to have a child while I still can."

"I see, so that could happen to any children you might have, " said Briana.

"Yes," Alistair said. "It could. I hope not, but it could. I know we don't know each other very well, but I feel comfortable with you. I know you don't love me, nor I you, but many arranged marriages turn out well in the end." Alistair hesitated not looking at her. "But it would have to be a real marriage. You and I would have to share a bed." Alistair continued hurriedly, "I promise I will be faithful to you and always show you the proper respect. You won't have to worry about me tumbling the maids behind your back. I keep my promises."

"What about my family? We're minor branch," Briana said. "I'm sure most people are expecting you to marry someone from one of the great noble families, someone like Elissa Cousland," she said.

"That shouldn't be a problem. You carry the title of Lady. It's sufficient," Alistair answered.

"Alistair," Briana said softly. "There's something I need to ask, and you probably won't like it."

"Go ahead," he said.

"The rumors," she said. "Are they true?" She saw Alistair's sharply indrawn breath and the way his body went rigid. _Ah, I have my answer. _

Alistair held himself stiff as a board staring straight ahead. She could see a muscle jumping in his jaw as he gritted his teeth. "We'll talk about it this one time, but then not ever again," he said finally. "Yes," he answered. "They are true. I loved her. For 'the good of Ferelden', I cast her off when I was to become king and then I let her go out and sacrifice herself to kill the Archdemon in my place. I was the senior Warden and it should have been me, but when she went to do it, I didn't fight her. Now, she's gone and I'm left as Ferelden's king. It's not a very pretty story, is it?" he finished angrily. He dropped his head into his hands and rubbed his temples. _And Lanie forgave me anyway. _"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to get worked up."

Briana reached out a hand and laid it tentatively on his arm. "I'm sorry you had to go through that," she said sadly. "But you only did what you had to do. Ferelden needs you as a live king much more than as a dead Grey Warden."

Alistair sat back up and covered her hand with his for a few moments before getting to his feet. He began pacing the aisle beside the pew. "Well, as you can see, you wouldn't be getting the bright prince. He died at Ostagar. I'm just Maric's bastard and I come with lots of drawbacks, but the upside is you would get to be the queen," Alistair finished weakly.

"If you want some time to think, I can…" started Alistair.

"I don't need time to think," broke in Briana. "Yes, if you really want me to I will marry you," Briana said.

"You will?" Alistair said in surprise.

"Yes, I will," said Briana firmly. "I think you are a better man and king than you know, and I would be honored to be your queen."

They decided that at the next ball, he would dance the first and the last dances with her and then they would make the announcement. Alistair would see her father before the ball and ask for permission as was proper. The wedding would take place one month after the last ball. That should give Briana time to go see her cousin and for all the wedding arrangements to take place. Alistair expected that she wouldn't have to do much more than show up. He was quite sure Isolde would take all the arrangements in hand. The chancellor was surprised that he had selected someone so unknown, but he was soon calculating the advantages to be had of the new queen coming out of the bannorn. Once the announcement was made to the public, Briana was right about there being some grumbling about the "inconsequence" of the soon-to-be-queen, but Alistair held firm and so the time passed as they had planned.

* * *

The night before his wedding, Alistair stood at the window in his room staring blindly out at Denerim. He continued to stand there for hours thinking of one woman as all around him the palace was filled with activity as preparations were made for his marriage to another.


	4. What Really Happened

_Fort Drakon, 27 December 9.31 Dragon_

As the last hurlock surrounding her fell to the ground after a particularly vicious slash from Spellweaver, Elandria took a minute to assess the fight. It looked as if all the darkspawn the Archdemon had summoned were out of the battle for the moment. She sheathed Spellweaver and pulled out her staff. She looked over and saw Wynne and Shale both still standing. Wynne was casting healing spells as fast as she could before they got back into the heat of battle once again. Elandria saw Zevran across the roof top, and she gave him the signal to get back to work with the ballistae. The early part of the fight they had spent covering Zevran as he pelted the Archdemon with bolts from the various ballistae on Fort Drakon's roof top while Wynne and Elandria hit the dragon with long-distance spells. Elandria figured the Archdemon couldn't have much left in it.

Zevran got another ballista loaded with bolts and proceeded to start firing away. Shale went up to close with the Archdemon while she and Wynne cast spells. When the Archdemon started to go down, it happened so fast it caught her by surprise. Not even taking the time to draw Spellweaver, Elandria took off for the Archdemon at a dead run, dropping her staff and pulling a sword free from a body on her way. As she reached the dragon, she ran underneath its neck and belly, holding the sword above her, creating a huge slit most of the way down the dragon. She turned and leapt back to the dragon's head screaming Alistair's name and plunged the sword through the head of the Archdemon as hard as she could.

She tried to let go of the sword, but her hands refused to release their grip. She could feel the Archdemon's essence moving through the sword and her gauntlets into her hands. The pain hit her so hard her body shook, but she still couldn't release the sword's hilt. She could feel the Archdemon's taint moving up through her arms; it felt as if they were on fire. She gritted her teeth as hard as she could, but by the time the taint reached her elbows, she was screaming in agony. She felt the taint flow through the great vessels to her heart and expected to feel it rise to her brain where it would consume her. However, once it hit her chest, she felt it flow down her body, and then she knew no more.

* * *

Morrigan had left Redcliffe Castle in a fury. She couldn't believe Elandria was being so stubborn. How could she have turned down her offer? Especially after Alistair had treated her so bad! The man could have waited for more than five minutes after she made him king to dump her, couldn't he? Morrigan had expected Elandria to easily fall in with her plan. It was perfect. Elandria could get some revenge of her own by guilting Alistair into sleeping with a woman he despised to save her life. Instead, she was worried about Alistair's feelings about having a bastard child, and she was willing to _die_ for this? It was infuriating. She had always considered Elandria the practical one of the pair, and Morrigan just couldn't understand it.

Regardless, she had traveled with them for months as they gathered allies to help stop the Blight, and so instead of immediately following through on her plans of heading to Orlais, she had used her shapeshifting abilities to trail the party on their race back to Denerim. _Mother always said I was worse than a cat and that curiosity would be the end of me, _thought Morrigan. She had discreetly followed them as Elandria's small party had moved through Denerim, clearing the hordes of darkspawn in their path. In her small raven form, she had circled the top of Fort Drakon waiting for them to burst into view. She observed the pitched battle between Elandria's team and her allies and the Archdemon and its darkspawn. Regardless of how stupid Morrigan might think Elandria was being, she sure could fight.

Morrigan was just circling back around for another pass when she saw Elandria make her strike at the Archdemon's head. She felt the shockwave coming with the explosion caused by the Archdemon's destruction. To help her ride out the buffets in the air currents, she cast the new enlargement spell she had learned from studying her mother's grimoire. As Morrigan cast the spell, she felt her body expand rapidly. As she looked up, she saw Elandria's body fly through the air in front of her. Without consciously thinking about it, she dove after her and grabbed her with the claws of both feet. She felt her toes lock into Elandria's armor and started heading for the wall surrounding the city. Even though Elandria was an elf and fairly light, she had taken to wearing heavy armor, and Morrigan barely made it over the wall with Elandria safely below her. Morrigan touched down as soon as she found a safe place and quickly shifted form.

She leaned over the elf, removing her helmet, expecting to find Elandria dead. To her surprise, she was breathing, though shallowly. How in the world had this happened? Elandria should be dead, her soul consumed by the Archdemon. Morrigan's curiosity drove her on now. She quickly cast the few healing spells that she had learned from Wynne and stripped Elandria out of her armor. She was definitely breathing better but was still unconscious. Morrigan rested for a while carefully considering what her next move should be. She needed some time to figure this out, and it looked like Elandria would need someone to take care of her. With a decisive nod of her head, Morrigan again shifted to her large raven form, grasped Elandria in her claws, and took off into the night.

* * *

Zevran, Wynne, and Shale slowly climbed to their feet after the force of the explosion from the Archdemon's death had blown them across the roof top. In unspoken accord, they approached the bodies in the middle of the roof.

"Where's Elandria's body?" asked Wynne after seeing that it was gone from the top of the dragon's head.

"Maybe it was destroyed by the Archdemon's death," said Zevran.

"No," Wynne disagreed. "The explosion we felt from the Archdemon was the destruction of its soul. It was a spirit explosion, not a physical one. The bodies are always left and the Warden's is sent to Weisshaupt Castle under a preservation spell and entombed there."

The three of them started searching the roof top. "Wynne," Zevran yelled. "I found Spellweaver." He came around the back of the Archdemon's body with the sword in his hand and laid it by the head of the dragon. "It was just lying over there. No sheath or anything," said Zevran. The three continued to search, but they couldn't find her body anywhere.

"Perhaps it was blown off the tower," suggested Shale when they were done searching.

"I don't know. Zevran, maybe you are right and it somehow got destroyed. I wouldn't have expected it though. Hummm," Wynne added in thought. The three companions stood in silence for a few minutes.

"We need to have a body," Wynne suddenly declared.

"Why?" asked Zevran, thoroughly confused about this dead body fixation Wynne seemed to have suddenly acquired. "There are plenty of dead bodies up here. Just take your pick."

Wynne looked at Zevran as her face lit up. "Zevran, you are a genius. Here, help me find one that is close in size to Elandria."

Zevran still wasn't sure exactly what Wynne was up to but went along with her demand readily enough.

"Here," Wynne called. "This one should do."

Zevran and Shale walked over to where Wynne was standing over a small genlock. "Shale, move this body over by the Archdemon for me please and hurry. I don't know how long we have before someone gets here from the city gates."

Shale obediently picked up the body, carried it over, and laid it beside the corpse of the Archdemon.

"What are you going to do?" Zevran asked.

"I'm going to cast a seeming and make this body look like Elandria's. I'm then going to cast a preservation spell on it."

The look on Zevran's face drew Wynne's attention. "What? I'm not a master enchanter for nothing you know. I can do this," she said.

She turned her back on Zevran as she began rummaging through her mind for the proper spells she would need. At the sound of Zevran's laughter, she turned around highly annoyed. "What is the matter with you? There is nothing funny about this!" she said.

Zevran wasn't sure if it was still the effects of the adrenaline from the fight combined with the sadness at losing his friend or what, but he couldn't quit laughing. "You are going to," he started before collapsing into another peal of laughter. He continued when he could, "You are going to cast a spell on a darkspawn, making it look like the person who slew the Archdemon. You then are going to send this same darkspawn to Weisshaupt Castle where it will be idolized through time," Zevran broke out in fresh gales of laughter. "Somehow, I find that totally appropriate," Zevran finished.

A small smile broke out on Wynne's face as she considered what Zevran had said. "Well, I must admit, it is slightly funny when you think of it that way. Regardless, I need to get this done quickly."

Zevran stood by and watched Wynne cast her spells. He even helped her drape the body realistically across the dragon's head.

"Tell me, Wynne," he said. "Why are we doing this? What's the point?"

"The point, Zevran," Wynne answered, "is that we all have had a hard time with the terrible things that have happened since the Blight began. With the Archdemon dead, this gives everyone something to celebrate. You watch, there will be a huge funeral for Elandria where people will talk about her sacrifice and how wonderful she was, and then everyone will be able to get back to their normal lives. Without a body, no closure," Wynne finished.

Zevran said, "I swear there are some days I think I will never understand humans."

"You can't tell anybody what I did Zevran, promise me," said Wynne. "You too, Shale."

Zevran said, "Very well, even if I don't understand it, I promise not to tell anyone."

"What about you, Shale?" Wynne asked.

Shale's only reply was "One squishy body looks very like another."

* * *

Her entire body hurt. Her mouth was dry. Her head was pounding. Elandria slowly cracked open her eyelids and stirred. She was lying in semi-darkness on a hard surface. She heard a familiar voice say, "Take it easy. You've been unconscious a while."

"Morrigan?" she managed to force through her dry lips, more a breath than a sound.

"Yes, Elandria," said Morrigan. "It is I. Bide a moment and I will bring you something to drink."

Elandria laid with her eyes closed hearing Morrigan move around her. She felt Morrigan very gently raise her to a sitting position and place a cup again her lips.

"Here, take a drink. You've had me worried. I was beginning to think you weren't going to wake up," Morrigan said.

Elandria almost cried with relief as the cool water flowed into her mouth. After taking a drink, she asked, "How long?"

"It's been five days since Fort Drakon," came Morrigan's reply. "Here take some more water." The cup once again approached her mouth and Elandria drank greedily.

"Thanks," she said afterward. "That's better," her voice a little stronger. "What happened, Morrigan? Where are we?"

"I followed all of you to Fort Drakon and watched the final battle from the air," Morrigan said as she laid Elandria back down on the makeshift pallet. "When the Archdemon was destroyed, your body came flying free. I had transformed myself into a large bird so I just grabbed you and flew away from the tower. I was quite surprised to see you lived. I flew us here for you to recover; we are in the ruins at the center of the Brecilian Forest. I thought with the werewolves gone, no one would bother us." Morrigan looked down at Elandria as she finished and saw that in the way that gravely ill people had that she was almost back to sleep once again.

"How am I alive?" asked Elandria sleepily. "Do you know?"

"Yes, Elandria," answered Morrigan. "I know, but I think we will leave 'the how' for another day when you are stronger."

"It's bad, isn't it?" Elandria slurred before drifting back into slumber.

Morrigan ran her hand almost tenderly down the side of the elf's face. "No, Elandria. It's not bad. I don't believe you will think that at all."

* * *

The next morning, Elandria woke again. Morrigan had her drink more water and soothed her back to sleep.

The following day, Elandria woke much more alertly. Morrigan refused to answer any questions until she was stronger. She started giving Elandria some of a weak soup she had made out of a hare she had caught in a snare in the forest. Elandria dozed and rested through the day. Finally, that night, Morrigan agreed to talk.

"Tell me again what happened," Elandria said.

"As I told you the other day, after Castle Redcliffe I followed you back to Denerim and watched your battle with the Archdemon. When your body came tumbling through the air, I grabbed you and brought you here. We've been in the ruins seven days now. The first five you were unconscious. I was really starting to think you would never wake up. I cast what few healing spells I had on you, which seemed to help, but I knew you wouldn't be healed that way and would have to mend on your own. I set up a camp here and have been taking care of you since then."

"Why here? Why not take me to Denerim?" asked Elandria. "It seems it would have been much easier for you."

Morrigan was quiet for a moment. "Well, that may have been a slight…miscalculation," she said. "When I found out you still lived, I wanted to know why. I didn't realize just how close you were to death or I would have taken you back to camp. I expected that you would be up and around in a few days with no troubles. It was shortsighted of me not to realize how severely the taint from the Archdemon would affect you. When we had been here two days and you still hadn't regained consciousness, I went out to the Dalish camp seeking assistance, but they must have moved on. I didn't want to leave you long enough to try and track them down. I thought about flying back out with you, but was afraid to risk another long flight. I was trying to decide whether I should take you back to Denerim or go for help myself when you awoke."

Elandria was quiet for a few minutes and then asked, "How is this even possible, Morrigan? According to what Riordan told us, I should be dead."

"I admit when I first realized you were still alive, I was highly puzzled. The flight here took several hours, and I turned it over and over in my mind while I was flying. Finally, one idea struck me. As soon as I had a basic camp set up, I proceeded to do a little experiment. You're pregnant, Elandria. That's how you survived. The child's soul you carry must have destroyed the Archdemon's taint when it flowed through your body."

"What, I can't be pregnant!" Elandria exclaimed. "Grey Wardens can't have children, especially with another Grey Warden."

"I think you and Alistair prove that isn't true. You are most definitely pregnant."

Elandria laid back in stunned silence.

"It may be the fact that both parents of this child are Grey Wardens is what saved you. The taint would have been strong in such a child and would have attracted the essence of the Archdemon that much quicker before it did irreversible damage to you," Morrigan said.

Elandria placed both hands protectively over her stomach. "Is the baby okay?" she asked Morrigan.

"Yes," Morrigan said. "I have been monitoring the child magically since we've been here. It is still very young, but it seems to carry no signs of the taint."

"What will this have done to the baby, Morrigan? Can you tell?" asked Elandria anxiously.

"I can tell you little more than what I already have. The child is still very young, only a few weeks," said Morrigan. "You shall have to wait and see. Wynne could perhaps sense more if she were here."

"Will my baby have the soul of an Old God?" asked Elandria.

"I cannot say for certain, but I would think not. You and Alistair did not perform the proper ritual at conception. I have been thinking on this, and I have a theory. A grown Grey Warden, just by virtue of who and what they are, is hardly innocent, and so when the soul of the Archdemon meets with the soul of the Grey Warden, they are both destroyed. It appears that any unborn baby, possibly because of their innocence, can destroy the soul of the Archdemon without the destruction of its own soul. As a side effect, this seems to have also removed the taint from your child's body. Without the ritual, I highly doubt that the demon's essence will be captured in your child," said Morrigan.

Elandria laid back running all this information through her mind. "Thank you, Morrigan," she said after a few minutes, "for saving both of us."

"Once you are well, consider us even then," said Morrigan. "I owed you a debt for your help with Mother."

The next day Morrigan was busy about camp as Elandria still lay on her pallet. Elandria was trying to assess how hurt she was and so decided she would try to cast a healing spell on herself. After all, her spells were much stronger than Morrigan's. She thought of the one she wanted and prepared to draw on her inner reserve of magic.

Morrigan was on the other side of camp assessing their food situation and debating how many snares she would need to set that evening when she heard Elandria cry out. She moved swiftly over to her. Elandria was lying curled up on her side. Morrigan attempted to rouse her, but it was no use. "What did the fool girl do now?" Morrigan asked herself. Morrigan stayed close throughout that night as Elandria did not awaken.

Finally, mid morning of the following day, Elandria woke even weaker than before. Once again, Morrigan was there to ease her thirst. "What did you do?" asked Morrigan.

"I tried to cast a healing spell," said Elandria weakly.

"And that caused you to lose consciousness once again?" questioned Morrigan.

Elandria's answering nod barely moved her head.

"Well, don't try and cast any spells for now. Let me think about this," Morrigan said. "You just lie there and don't do anything!"

Morrigan mulled the problem throughout the day as Elandria fell in and out of sleep. Morrigan was concerned as Elandria seemed even weaker than when she had originally woken up.

"I have been thinking, Elandria," Morrigan said several hours later. "I believe that it is possible that when the Archdemon's taint was moving through your body that it followed the natural channels that your magic flows through. It is possible it has somehow burned those channels thus causing your reaction when you tried to cast a spell," said Morrigan.

"Are you saying you think my magic is gone?" asked Elandria.

"I don't know. It's possible it could just be a temporary thing until the channels heal, or it could be permanent, or I could be totally wrong. I'm not exactly sure how your connection to the Fade would fit in here either," added Morrigan thoughtfully. "Regardless, I think the best course of action would be for you not to attempt any spells until you are more recovered."

Elandria laid back quietly with her thoughts racing. _To not be a mage anymore? It's what I am. How can I live without feeling the strength that flows through me when I cast a lightening spell or the tingling rush of a healing spell as it moves through my body. But how would it be to not have people look at me with fear, waiting for me to turn into an abomination and run screaming through the night. One less obstacle to Alistair? _All these thoughts and more flashed through her mind as she laid on her pallet.

"I would not let it trouble you greatly right now," said Morrigan. "Your magic is either gone or it is not and worrying about it will not change anything and, in fact, would impede your recovery."

Time passed slowly as Elandria regained her strength. It was almost a month before she could leave her bed at all, and Morrigan was about worn out with the care she required. All the fetching and carrying of their food and water, massaging Elandria's muscles to keep them toned, trying to keep her clean, and making sure she turned to avoid bed sores all filled Morrigan's days.

By the end of the first month, Elandria was able to start sitting up some and to start taking some steps with Morrigan's help. Then, they had another problem; morning sickness, and not just in the morning either. What seemed to be almost constant vomiting for the next month didn't do much to help Elandria recover and almost made Morrigan regret saving her.

By the end of the third month, Elandria was worrying herself about her magic so much that Morrigan agreed that she could try a spell to see if she could cast one. By this point, the morning sickness had calmed down, and Elandria had regained a lot of her strength back and was able to move around much easier. They decided she would just try Heal, one of the most basic spells.

Elandria closed her eyes and slowly reached out to that part of herself that was magic. Normally, when she cast a spell, it was like thrusting her hand into a torrent of water and almost physically throwing the spell out of her. This time it was different. The magic was there, but it was calmer, like that torrent that had always flowed in her had been gentled. She cast the spell and felt the rush of healing energy flow through her. She sagged with relief and opened her eyes and looked at Morrigan. "It worked," she said. "It's different somehow, but the magic is still there," she said. _I'm still me, _she thought_. _

"Different, how?" asked Morrigan.

Elandria tried to explain it to Morrigan, but Morrigan looked at her as if she had grown an extra head.

"I do not understand all this imagery you use. Do you not simply gather your will and cast your spell?" asked Morrigan.

Elandria mumbled something about it being the difference between her training in the tower and Morrigan's with her mother as she didn't feel up to a lecture on magic from Morrigan.

"Regardless," said Morrigan. "It is good that your magic is working. I would still be cautious about casting spells for a while longer yet, however."

* * *

Elandria had seen the signs of restlessness in Morrigan for the past few weeks now. It was time to address it. "Morrigan, thank you for everything you have done for me. There is no way I can repay the care you have taken of both me and the baby for the past months, but the time has come for you to go. I know you must have some sort of plan for what you will do next, and it certainly doesn't include following me around the rest of your life."

Morrigan just looked at her levelly, "And what will you do?"

"I'm almost back to full health. I'll probably spend a little longer here with conditioning walks in the forest and then I will get on the road. I want to get to Alistair before I have to waddle in the gates of Denerim, and I want to be settled somewhere before the little one comes," said Elandria. "Besides, my magic is back now. Even if I have lost my sword and armor, I'm not defenseless if I run into trouble on the road, and it is only a few days' hard march. If it takes me a couple of days longer now than it would have before, than so be it."

"I shall consider it," said Morrigan.

Two days later they were splitting up what gear they had. When they had arrived in the forest, all Elandria had been wearing had been the soft underclothing she wore under her armor and a pair of boots. Everything else had been lost. Morrigan had been able to retrieve her things after getting Elandria to the ruins. That plus what they had cobbled together the past few months from items they had found in the forest were all their possessions. Morrigan had found a dagger down in the ruins that they had missed when they had cleaned the place out of treasure months ago, so she wasn't completely weaponless. Elandria's biggest need was clothing. As her body changed with her advancing pregnancy she could no longer wear the clothing she arrived in even if she would have wanted to with all the blood stains from the fight that night. Morrigan had given her a set of her trousers and a shirt, both way too big. Elandria hacked off the extra length on the trousers, tucked them in her boots, and used her old shirt for a belt, but they were still too big. She rolled up the sleeves on the shirt and pushed most of the extra material into the waist of the trousers.

"Are you sure you don't want to wait until morning to leave, Morrigan?" asked Elandria.

"It matters not to me," said Morrigan. "I'm ready now so I might as well go."

Elandria walked over to the other woman and hugged her tight. "Thanks for everything. I'd be dead without you."

"Don't get maudlin," said Morrigan. "I was just repaying a debt."

"Of course you were," Elandria kept the smile off her face with difficulty. "I'll be sure to tell the baby all about how Aunt Morrigan saved our lives."

A look of horror crossed Morrigan's face. "Aunt to Alistair's child. How unsettling."

Elandria gave a short laugh. "I'll miss you too," she said. "If you ever need anything.. ," Elandria started but trailed off when she saw the expression on Morrigan's face.

With a sigh of exasperation, Morrigan swung her pack on her back and said, "Good luck, sister. May your road be smooth and trouble-free. Farewell."

With that Morrigan turned and headed out of clearing. Elandria watched her go until she could no longer see her. _Farewell sister_, she thought.

Two days later she was making her own exodus from the ruins. It did take her a day or so longer than she had expected to get to Denerim, but as she camped the night before her arrival, she was pleased with her progress. She attempted to get cleaned up as much as she could at a small pond near her campsite. She looked at herself in the still water of the pond. She looked for changes in her face as she peered at her reflection. The sky blue eyes were still the same, but the ash blonde hair with the tips of her ears sticking through was longer now. She had worn it short on the road, but she had let it grow out while she had been so ill. Her face had filled out as she was finally starting to put on weight, due in no small part to the child she carried. Well, Alistair had certainly seen her looking much worse in the time they had been on the road, but she wished she didn't look like such a ragamuffin in Morrigan's clothes.

The next day as Elandria approached Denerim, all she could think about was how happy Alistair was going to be about the baby. It wouldn't solve their other problems (like her pointed ears), but no, she refused to think about those right now. The important thing was to tell Alistair he was going to be a father. She knew, especially after his childhood, that he wouldn't abandon her and their child. As she almost danced through Denerim, she was so busy thinking about how surprised Alistair was going to be to see her and running possible conversations they would have through her mind that she didn't even notice that there was hardly a soul on the streets.

As she headed towards the palace, she realized she didn't have a plan for getting in so she could see Alistair. Remembering their attack on Arl Howe's estate, she decided to slip in the back of the palace through the servant's entrance and then try to locate him. After all, with her attire, she probably would have had a hard time getting in the front entrance, not like the time she arrived at the palace for the Landsmeet. But no, she wasn't going to think about that or the scene with Alistair afterwards either. This was a _happy _day. After months spent recovering, she would finally see him again. She put one hand over the bump her normally flat stomach was becoming and carried on a conversation with her child as she moved faster and faster through the streets the closer she came to the palace. Now that she was finally here, she just couldn't wait to see Alistair again.

_A. N.: I know I played a little fast and loose with the magic in here, particularly Wynne's changing of the body and Morrigan's magical monitoring of Elandria's baby. I needed them to be able to do what they did for the story. Morrigan's ritual was to trap the soul of the Archdemon not destroy it, but I liked the idea of an unborn child saving the world. _


	5. Three Hearts Burning

_A.N. Thanks to my beta, melismo who cleans up all my errors._

* * *

It was only as Elandria arrived at the palace that she began to get some inkling that something was going on. She found it highly irregular that there were no guards on the servant's entrance. She had expected to have to a take a page out of Zevran's book and fast talk her way past them. Things got even stranger as she moved from the rear of the palace towards the front. There wasn't a soul in sight. Where were all the people?

* * *

Gabriel was depressed. His master's man had explained to him how he would be acquiring a new mate today and changing rooms in the palace. The man said that Gabriel would be welcome in his new rooms, although Gabriel wasn't too sure about that. Gabriel missed his master and a part of him thought the king was being disloyal to her even though Gabriel knew she was gone. After the man had left, Gabriel had moped about the old rooms, which were already being changed as some of the man's things had been packed and moved to his new quarters.

After lying around for a while, he decided to go and see if he could find any scraps in the kitchen. He kept to the back part of the palace roaming through the empty hallways. As he turned a corner, he froze with his nose quivering. _What was that? _He sniffed the air again. _Yes! Yes, it was! I know that scent! _Gabriel took off at a dead run following the scent through the passages. He paused as he made a sharp turn into another hallway and there she was! It was his master.

He gave one short bark and charged right for her.

* * *

When Elandria heard the mabari bark, she spun around. The sight of Gabriel barreling down the hall towards her brought a large smile to her face. She dropped to her knees, holding her arms out to him. Gabriel flew into her arms as she wrapped them as far around his neck as she could reach. "Gabriel, oh Gabe, I'm so glad to see you," she cried touching the top of her head to his. Gabriel showed his enthusiasm by licking her almost from head to toe. He stopped when he got to her stomach and started sniffing her belly. "Yes," Elandria said laughing. "I'm going to have a baby." She continued on whimsically, "And you get to help baby-sit!" Gabriel wagged his tail in agreement. Elandria stood up still with her hand petting Gabriel. "I can't tell you how much I've missed you," she said. Gabriel wagged his tail even harder. "You missed me too, didn't you?" Gabriel rubbed his head against her. "Well, come on. Take me to Alistair. You can sniff him out for me."

Gabriel started whining and sat down. "Come on, Gabe," Elandria said. "Quit messing around. Let's go find him." Gabriel whined some more but did not budge from his spot on the floor. "I don't know what is wrong with you, but I'm going to go find him. Now, are you coming?" she asked.

With that Gabriel reluctantly got up and followed her. They continued toward the front of the palace with Elandria chattering to him all the way about how Morrigan had saved her and what had happened after that. As they progressed, Elandria could finally start to hear people. It sounded like a huge crowd off in the distance. As she drew closer, she ran into a ring of guards barring the passage.

"I'm sorry, if you want to view the procession, you'll have to go back and circle around. No one is allowed in this section of the palace today," said one of the guards.

"What procession?" asked Elandria.

"Why, the king's and queen's, of course," said the guard. "As soon as the coronation is over, they are going to walk out through the street."

It took a minute for what the guard had said to hit Elandria. When it did, Gabriel was the only thing that kept her from sprawling on the ground at the guard's feet. When her knees had given out, Gabriel pressed himself against her as hard as he could to help hold her up. She unconsciously extended a hand and placed it on his back to help steady herself. Her head was reeling; she could barely breathe; her heart was screaming in denial. "Let's get out of here," she said to Gabriel. Taking hold of Gabriel's collar, she allowed him to turn and start to lead her away.

"Hey," yelled the guard as she was leaving. "Isn't that the king's mabari?"

Elandria didn't answer as she and Gabriel kept moving. Elandria could barely see for the tears that were cascading down her face as she allowed Gabriel to guide her back through the palace and out into Denerim. The whole way the only thing she heard was the repetitive refrain of _HE'SMARRIED, HE'SMARRIED, HE'SMARRIED_ as it raged through her head over and over.

Later that evening, Elandria could barely remember leaving Denerim. Gabriel had led her out through the gates. Without even thinking about it, she had directed Gabriel back down the same road she had traveled up that morning when he looked at her for which direction they were to go. She had stumbled along the rest of the day as if in a trance. Gabriel was the one who picked their path and steered them away from danger. When she had been approached by another solitary traveler, it was Gabriel's growls of warning that had sent him on his way.

They had stopped along the road shortly before dark. By this time, Elandria was starting to come back to herself. She cursed herself over and over for a fool the entire time she was gathering wood for a fire. _He told me it was over, that I wasn't what he needed any more. I should have realized he would have moved on. Fool! Getting my hopes up because of the baby. Idiot. _She continued mentally chastising herself the entire time she was preparing the dinner that Gabriel had so helpfully caught for them. Food was the last thing she wanted, but she would force herself to eat for the baby's sake.

"Well, boy, what do we do now? It's just me and you," she said after she had managed to choke down some dinner. "Plus the little one, of course," she added rubbing her hand across her stomach. _He has his new human wife now, and he can just have babies with her. This one will be _my_ child. _

Gabe looked at her attentively.

"You're right. We need a plan," she said. "I don't want to go back to Denerim, and I don't know if anybody besides Morrigan realizes I'm alive. We need to go somewhere safe until the baby is born. The tower is definitely out. The templars would take my baby away from me right after the birth," she said talking it out with Gabriel as well as herself. "We could go back to the ruins, but I wouldn't want to stay there. I know you would be with me, but I don't think you would be much help with childbirth."

Gabriel barked in agreement.

"Right," she said, "so it needs to be somewhere where there are people, but nobody that knows us too well. I don't want to have to answer a lot of questions," she said thoughtfully.

Gabriel laid down with his head on his front paws watching her, waiting for her to come to a decision.

"Humm, what about the Dalish? Lanaya would help, I think. They have moved on from where they were staying before, but I bet we could find them. When we camped with them, I spent a lot of time with Lanaya and she gave me their general territory boundaries. Plus with her being keeper now, she knows how to keep a secret," mused Elandria. "How's that sound to you, Gabriel? Should we head back towards the forest tomorrow and see if we can find them?"

Gabriel sat up and barked his agreement with her plan.

Elandria threw the rest of their firewood on the fire and snuggled down for the night with Gabriel at her back. She laid awake a long time that night, watching the fire die down with her heart aching for what might have been.

* * *

Briana sat in bed, watching the fire, waiting for Alistair. After the wedding supper and festivities, she had been borne off by the young ladies of the court and brought to the bedroom that would be hers from this day forward. They had then, playfully and with much giggling and innuendo, prepared her for her new husband. Her wedding dress was carefully removed as she was dressed in a beautiful white nightgown. Her long black hair was removed from the carefully arranged style from the morning, brushed, and allowed to drape around her. Fresh perfume anointed her wrists. She was placed in bed with the covers drawn up around her. With a few more comments and no small amount of jealousy, the girls slipped from the room and allowed the door to close behind them.

Briana sat up hugging her knees to her chest as she stared at the fire. She was a little nervous about what would come next, but not nearly as nervous about it as she had been originally. Over the past few weeks since Alistair's proposal and their wedding today, the one thing she had learned about the man who was now her husband was that he had a truly kind heart. She hadn't gotten to spend as much time with him as she would have liked because he was always so busy with meetings and his other duties.

She had also made her trip to see Larana. She had been so glad to see her, and Larana had been just as glad to see Briana. They had talked for hours about Larana's life in the tower and Briana's coming wedding. Larana had giggled with her over her and Alistair's meetings in the chapel and her subsequent discovery of who he was. She had Alistair to thank for that meeting. If he hadn't pushed the knight-commander, she still wouldn't have been able to see Larana.

Once she had returned from the mage tower, she had taken up residence in the palace with a few members of her family and, of course, her maid as chaperone. She had felt like telling everyone they were all too late to worry about her and Alistair needing a chaperone after their earlier secret meetings last visit. When she had stayed at the palace for the balls, her room had been right by the chapel, which was how she had managed to slip out un-chaperoned before. This time, she was in a different, grander part of the palace, and it was too difficult for her to get there unobserved. Everyone seemed to know who she was now.

She had been able to spend some time with Alistair though, often when he was working in his study in the evenings. Her maid would sit reading in the other room with the door open, so she was still there for propriety's sake, but far enough away to give them a little privacy. She discovered that when he was really wrestling with an issue and he would forget she was in the room that he would talk to himself. She liked to listen to his voice as he would lay out his thoughts for each side, mull it over muttering to himself, and then come to a decision. Sometimes after he had done this, he would look up in surprise, see her there, and smile at her. It was those smiles she was starting to look forward to and cherish.

He had been a complete gentleman these past weeks only brushing his lips lightly against her cheek in parting, usually with a softly voiced, "Good night. I'll see you tomorrow." He had only kissed her on the mouth one time and that had happened one night they had been in his study. He had been working on some papers for quite some time, so she began to wander about the room. She was looking at the shelves behind his desk when she noticed a strange, almost handmade book. She had picked it up and was studying the cover. _The Maker: Chants for the Trail,_ she had just read when she realized he had come up behind her. He took the book out of her hands and placed it down on the desk behind him. "I see I have been neglectful this evening," he said. "Have I told you how very pretty you look tonight?" he asked.

She looked up at him shyly. "No," she said with a small blush.

"Well, you do," he said and then proceeded to bend over and put his mouth over hers while placing his hands around her waist. His lips were firm and warm. Her mouth was just beginning to soften under his when he lifted his head. "Good things come to those who wait," he murmured almost like a promise. She hadn't been exactly sure what he meant by that, but the words and the way he had said them had sent a shiver down her backbone. She found herself hoping he would kiss her again like that, but he didn't. He seemed content to wait for their wedding.

As she sat thinking of Alistair, a knock came on the door to the room adjoining hers. "Briana," she heard him call.

She hurriedly adjusted her position in the bed. "Come in," she answered.

* * *

_A.N.: This section contains explicit sexual content._

When Alistair came through the door, he was wearing only a comfy pair of pants and a loose shirt. He was carrying a small jar of lubricant he had gotten from Zevran, which he placed on the table by the bed. He had actually sought out Zev's advice for his first time with Briana. If that didn't denote the changing relationship he and Zev had, nothing did. No more plugging his ears and singing "la-la-la" when Zevran wanted to discuss sex.

"Hi," he said with a small smile. He could tell by the way she was lying under the covers with them drawn up to her chin that she was nervous.

"Hi," she said back shyly.

He left the side of the bed and pulled a small settee from the wall over in front of the fire. "Come here, Briana," he said and held his hand out to her. She slowly got out of the bed, walked over, and put her hand in his. "Sit here with me," he said as he sat down in the corner of the settee drawing her down so she was sitting between his legs with her back against his chest. He wrapped his arm around her but continued to hold her hand lightly with his. He could feel the tension in her body where it touched his. "Are you scared?" he asked quietly.

Briana could hear his voice rumbling in his chest as well as feel his breath against her ear when he spoke. "Maybe a little," she admitted.

Alistair used his free hand to start lightly stroking her hair. "Don't be scared," he said. "We can take our time. I'll try my best to be gentle, but I'm not going to lie to you. The first time will probably hurt, but it will get better after that." Images from his first time with Lanie flashed through his mind, but he forcefully thrust them away. He had promised himself he wasn't going to think about her tonight. Briana deserved that much at least.

"I know," Briana said blushing. "You can't help with delivering babies without some understanding of the process."

"That's good then," he said and then was quiet. He continued to just sit holding her hand and stroking her hair. As he felt the tension start to leave her body, he started some light conversation with her over events that had happened during the day. Soon she was laughing with him about how they had smeared their wedding cake all over each other's faces. He shifted her in his arms so she was sitting across his lap almost facing him. He reached out and stroked his hand down the side of her face. "You're beautiful, you know," he said. "I'm lucky you agreed to marry me."

"I'm glad you think so," she said, shyly looking down at their clasped hands.

Alistair put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up, "Look at me," he said. She slowly brought her eyes up to his. Watching them the entire time, Alistair dipped his head and placed a chaste kiss on her mouth. He stayed there for a bit and then kissed each side of her face and over her forehead turning her head with his hand so he could reach each area. When he saw her eyes drift closed, he returned his attention to her mouth. He drew her lips apart with his and deepened the kiss slightly. He sent his tongue questing lightly into her mouth after hers. As he felt her respond to him, he brought both his hands up to hold her face between them and deepened the kiss even more. He felt her tongue begin to dance with his.

After a few minutes of this, he left her mouth and began to trail his lips down the side of her neck. Briana tipped her head back to give him better access. He continued to kiss her all the way down her neck until he reached the top of her nightgown. With one hand he undid the top few buttons. Using both his hand and the side of his face he pushed her nightgown open as he continued to kiss down her skin. He withdrew after he reached the top of her breast returning to give her another kiss on the mouth. He noted that her eyes were closed and her face was flushed. He opened more of the buttons down her nightgown and pushed it down off her shoulders, still kissing her mouth the entire time. He lifted each breast with one of his hands running the tip of each ring finger around the soft nub of her nipples. He felt the delicate skin of each begin to prickle as they began to harden. He pulled his lips from her mouth and dropped his head to latch onto one of her breasts. He felt her body jump as he ran his tongue in slow circles around the nipple and then drew it into his mouth. Her arms came around his neck to hold him close. He spent a few minutes there, dividing his attention between each breast.

He held her tightly against his chest, carefully stood up, and carried her to the bed, dropping the nightgown from her body in the process. He laid her gently on the bed under the covers so she wouldn't get cold and started to take off his shirt. She laid there quietly, watching him, with her eyes shining up at him.

"Still scared?" he asked as he ran a finger down the side of her face.

"No," she said softly.

"Good," he said as he dropped his shirt to the floor and stepped out of his pants. He climbed into bed beside her and drew her back up against him. "You're so soft," he said as he ran his hand along the side of her face, down her neck, and cupped her breast again. His lips sought her mouth as he continued to play with her body. He felt her timidly reach out to touch his chest and then run her hands over his shoulders and chest as her fingers traced the myriad of scars that he carried from his time on the road. He jumped when he felt her fingernail graze one of the nipples on his chest. He simultaneously made his kiss more demanding and pushed her flat on her back on the bed. He propped himself up on one elbow beside her and ran one of his hands down over the planes of her stomach.

He broke their kiss and took one of her nipples in his mouth again as his hand slipped down between her legs. He felt her hesitation as she slowly opened her legs for him. He ran his fingers lightly through her curls and then reached down further to let them play in the folds around her opening. He felt her hips begin to move and heard her say his name as he gently slipped one finger up inside her. To his surprise, he found she was already wet "Just a second," he said as he reached for the jar on the night stand. He opened it and smeared some of the lubricant across his fingers.

"What's that?" she asked.

"It's a lubricant," he said. "It will make it easier."

He then trailed kisses across her stomach and breasts as his hand went back to work between her legs, working the lubricant thoroughly inside her and stretching her opening with his fingers. He felt her hips move more urgently against his hand as she moaned his name again. He withdrew his hand, spread some of the lubricant on himself, and set the jar back down.

He then moved to lay between Briana's legs. He carried his weight on his arms and knees as he dropped his head to give her another kiss. She answered him with eager lips wrapping her arms around him and pressing herself against him. He kissed her thoroughly for a few minutes and then moved his lips up to her ear, "Ready?" he asked quietly. At her nod, he reached down and gently inserted himself against her entrance. He slowly worked himself back and forth until he was partway inside her. He covered her mouth with his, grasped her hip with one hand while balancing on the other arm, and pushed his way the rest of the way in. He felt her body jump and heard her gasp in response to the hard stroke. He held himself still inside her and asked quietly, "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said.

He continued to stay still and starting kissing her and fondling her breasts once again. Finally, at the brink of his own control, he had to start moving. He slowly began to rock his hips against her and to slide in and out of her in a slow but steady rhythm. He felt her wrap her arms and legs around him as she began to move with him. As the pressure began to build, he started to move faster and harder as he heard her call his name once more. As he felt her body clench tight against him, he broke into a driving rhythm to find his own release. He had his forehead lying on the bed beside hers above her left shoulder with his eyes closed. As he was just about to reach the brink, an image flashed into his mind. It was Lanie giving him that look back over her shoulder that she would flash him at the end of the day when no one else could see. It was the look that said, "You aren't getting any sleep tonight," With that image in his mind and the friction from Briana's body, he shot over the edge into orgasm.

* * *

Alistair sat staring into the fire as he sat in one of the chairs in Briana's room drinking a goblet of wine. He wore only the pair of trousers he had pulled on when he had climbed out of Briana's bed after she had fallen asleep. Once again, he had done his duty; at least it hadn't been an onerous duty this time. He just wished he didn't feel so confused afterwards. Touching Briana was nothing like touching Lanie had been. There had always been fire between him and Lanie. One look was all it had taken to set it off. With Briana, it was a quieter, softer passion. He was still upset with himself for thinking of Lanie while he was with Briana, though. It made him uncomfortable, and he couldn't understand why he would have thought of her in that moment.

Alistair swallowed some more wine and continued to try to sort out his confusion. There was a part of him that really liked Briana and just wanted to forget the pain of the past and move on. It was just so damn hard to do when almost everything reminded him of Lanie. The night Briana had picked up the book with Lanie's rose in it in his study, he had wanted to scream "NO" at her and tear it out of her hands. He still felt ashamed of the way he had diverted her attention. He had obviously been spending way too much time with Zevran as that had been a ploy almost worthy of Zev himself. After the incident, he had taken the book and buried it in his desk, although he couldn't bring himself to throw it out.

Even though hardly a day had gone by these past months without someone mentioning to him about finding a queen and his knowing in the back of his mind that he would get married, it hadn't really hit him until he was standing in front of the Revered Mother today saying his vows. He would have a wife, and he wanted to be a good husband to her, no, he needed to be. He knew himself well enough to know that part of the reason he was having such a hard time letting go of Lanie was the guilt he felt over the way it had ended between them, followed so shortly by her death. He had truly thought that breaking it off fast and clean after the Landsmeet was the best way, but looking back now, he wished he could have softened the pain for her. He didn't know if he could stand himself if he hurt someone else that badly again.

On top of everything else, his dreams had started again. In the weeks following Lanie's death, he'd had recurrent dreams of her fighting the Archdemon, and he would wake screaming her name after watching her die in his dream night after night. They had finally stopped shortly after he had gotten Lanie's letter, but he had had the dream again twice this past week. How could he explain to his wife if he woke up screaming his ex-lover's name at night? Somehow, he didn't think that conversation would go very well.

"Alistair," Briana called out sleepily. "What are you doing?"

"Hey," he answered in a soft voice. "I was just having a drink."

"Come back to bed," she said warmly and held out her hand to him.

He set the goblet down on a side table, built up the fire once more, and walked back over to the bed, dropping his pants to the floor in front of it. He laid back down, drawing her up close against him. "I'm here," he said placing a kiss on her forehead. "Go back to sleep."

As Alistair watched Briana fall trustingly to sleep in his arms, he couldn't help comparing the two women he had had in his life. Even though she was only a year or so younger than Lanie, Briana seemed so innocent, as if she needed protection from the world. He found himself wanting to be the one to protect her. Lanie had needed no man's protection and hadn't hesitated to protect him.

Alistair laid awake for a long time once Briana had drifted back to sleep, trying to trace the path of his wayward heart in the flickering of the flames.


	6. Finding the Dalish

The next morning, Elandria and Gabriel were up and heading down the road shortly after dawn. Elandria wanted to get as far away from Denerim as fast as she could. She and Gabriel were following The West Road out of Denerim, and she planned to travel down the road as far as the Southron Hills. The first place she wanted to look for Lanaya's clan was southwest of where they had been camping at the edge of the Brecilian Forest or possibly even farther southeast towards Gwaren. She only hoped she and Gabriel wouldn't have to wander alone for very long as they only had the basic camp supplies she and Morrigan had split between them in the ruins. As they traveled, Elandria had to take frequent breaks, but as the days passed, her stamina began to return.

Running into Gabriel had been extremely fortunate for her. She had never traveled by herself and never realized just how time consuming all the camp chores were when you had to do them all by yourself. When she had traveled with her friends, they had always had many hands to split the chores among. For such a big animal, Gabriel was extremely talented at lying in wait and catching small game. He did most of their hunting for food as they were traveling during the day. He would take off for a bit and catch something and then return to the road and find Elandria. When Elandria told him he must have some cat in him, he was offended for two days.

As fast as the days passed with traveling, after setting up camp, the evenings seemed to drag on forever. Then, Elandria truly missed the friends she had traveled with for so long. She had little to talk about with Gabriel and much time to think over what had happened in the past few months. Her emotions would swing widely during these times. Sometimes she would curse herself for fleeing the city without confronting Alistair, and at others, she was glad she had done so. If only she had arrived in Denerim sooner. At times, she just wanted to lie down and give up, but the thought of the baby and her own strong self-preservation streak kept her moving. If she cried at night into Gabriel's fur, he wasn't going to tell anyone.

Elandria wasn't too worried about running into trouble from other people. Even if she didn't have her staff, she still had the ability to cast spells, and she still had the dagger she had found in the ruins. The one thing she worried about was darkspawn. She had only felt a slight flaring every now and then just against the edge of her senses, but nothing that alarmed her too much. Even with the Blight over, she knew that there would still be darkspawn about, and her main worry was that they would encounter a larger band of them.

After a few days, they were able to turn off the road and start searching the surrounding countryside. Elandria really had only the most general idea of where the clan would be and so was hoping it wouldn't take too long to locate them. She and Gabriel had been searching for days in the area south of The West Road, west of the Brecilian Forest, and east of the Korcari Wilds. Elandria was starting to get worried as time passed, and she didn't find anyone, human or elf. Time was passing, and the baby would be coming soon, in about two-three months, she guessed. She needed to be somewhere safe before that. She was also starting to notice how difficult it was to move around and do things as the baby grew, and she was afraid it would become a serious problem in the next few weeks if she didn't find Lanaya's clan soon.

After about a week of traveling, Elandria and Gabriel had been following a game track one morning when suddenly two figures jumped out in front of them. "Hold, outsider-By the halla, Warden, is that you?" asked Mithra.

"Yes, Mithra," said Elandria. "It's me."

"But we thought-I mean we had heard-well, that you were dead," said Mithra.

"Not dead, just filthy and tired," said Elandria with a small smile. "It's been a rough couple of months."

"Stay here, lethallin. I'll take our visitor to camp," said Mithra to the male elf accompanying her.

"Yes, Mithra," he replied. If Elandria had met him the last time she was here, she didn't remember him.

"Come, it's this way," said Mithra starting down the path. "I can't believe it's you. I barely recognized you," Mithra said.

"I'm sure I look the worse for wear," said Elandria. "Is Lanaya here?"

"No," said Mithra. "She's been in Denerim for the king's wedding, but we expect her back soon."

Elandria felt a stab of pain at that. _Of course, Lanaya would have been invited for the occasion. _

"I'll take you to my aravel," said Mithra. "You can get cleaned up and we'll get some food into you."

"That would be wonderful," said Elandria. "I would about kill for a bath." As they broke over a hill and Elandria saw the camp laid out below her, she thought she had never seen anything that looked so good. Now, hopefully she would be able to stay for a while.

"How did you find us?" asked Mithra as they threaded their way towards her aravel both of them ignoring the murmurs that followed them.

"When we camped with you before, Lanaya mentioned the general path the clan tends to follow, so I came this way hoping to find you," Elandria said. "Gabe and I have been wandering around for days hoping to run into you."

"Oh," said Mithra. "If you don't mind me asking, why have you come?"

_How much should I say? _"Well," said Elandria. "I really came to speak with Lanaya. You did say she was due back soon, right?"

"Yes," said Mithra. "We expect her any day now."

"Can I stay until she gets here?" asked Elandria.

"Of course, you can," said Mithra. "After what you did for our clan, I imagine you can stay as long as you like. Here we are," said Mithra as they arrived at her aravel. "Come on in."

"Gabriel, stay out here please," Elandria asked. The dog settled down for a nap in the shade at the side of the aravel.

Mithra took her inside and showed her the washing area. She even dug out a robe that Elandria could put on once she had had her bath. Elandria was looking forward to getting out of the rancid clothes she had been wearing since leaving the ruins. She had tried to wash them and herself on the road, but there was only so much she could do in running streams without a change of clothes. After she was clean, Mithra had a snack of fruit and dried meat rolls for her.

"It's not much," said Mithra, "but it should hold you until the evening meal." Mithra also had a set of clothes she had borrowed from one of her friends as Elandria wouldn't fit into Mithra's with her expanding waistline.

"It's fine," said Elandria. "I haven't had fruit in what seems like forever."

Mithra had to go back and resume her guard duty so Elandria stayed at her aravel that afternoon with Gabriel. It was so wonderful to be clean and not have to be traveling. Mithra came back shortly before the communal evening meal and Elandria accompanied her. She saw some of the elves she had met before and met some others as well, including the elf that had been on guard duty with Mithra this morning. His name was Menarin. Mithra explained that he had come from one of the other clans to take over training of the hunters from Athras. Since the death of his wife Danyla, Athras had decided to step down as the clan's trainer. She also saw Master Varathorn and asked if she could visit him the next morning. He told her to come by whenever was convenient.

After the meal was over, she went back to Mithra's aravel with her. It was decided she would stay with Mithra until Lanaya arrived back from Denerim. As she was lying on her pallet waiting to drift off to sleep, she thought it was strange that not one person had mentioned her pregnancy, which was rather obvious. _Maybe it is considered rude or bad luck or something. I will ask Lanaya. I just hope she isn't too much longer getting back here. _

* * *

_A.N.: I know this chapter wasn't very exciting as it was more transitional than anything else. Things will pick back up again. Thanks to Melismo for the beta. _


	7. Afterglow and Leave Taking

The morning after his wedding, Alistair was back in his own bedchamber getting ready for the day's enjoyments. There was to be a period of five days of feasting and various activities after his and Briana's wedding. It would serve as a sort of introduction for Briana to the gathered nobles as she had never come to court before this year. It would also allow the two of them to spend some time together before he had to plunge back into the work of running the country.

He was just finishing dressing when he realized he hadn't seen Gabriel that morning. He sent one of his pages to his old set of rooms to see if he was there. Alistair couldn't imagine why Gabriel would be in the old quarters since all of the king's things had been moved into Alistair's new quarters yesterday. Even Gabriel's favorite pillow was on the floor by the bed.

With one last glance in the mirror and with a tug to straighten his collar, he knocked on the door adjoining his room to Briana's. "Are you about ready for breakfast? I thought perhaps we could go down together," he called.

"Come on in," she said. "I'm just about done."

Alistair walked into the room. She was sitting in a chair in front of her maid as she was finishing another elaborate hairstyle. Alistair walked over and dropped a kiss on her cheek and the maid started to drop into a curtsey. "Never mind that," he said with a smile. "Just finish your mistress's hair."

"Yes, your Majesty," said the maid.

"You look lovely this morning, my dear," Alistair said.

Briana dimpled up at him, "Why, thank you. I feel lovely this morning," she said.

"So, are you ready for your torture session today?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she returned.

"Having to spend the entire day with me," said Alistair, "while assorted nobles flock to your side seeking your favor."

"That's not torture, well maybe the flocking nobles part, but definitely not spending the day with you. I'm looking forward to it," she said. With that, she rose from her chair as her maid finished her work and linked her arm with his. "There, I'm ready. Thank you, Glenda," she said. "Shall we go face them together, my Lord?"

"Lead on, my Lady," said Alistair.

The next few days passed as though in a blur for Alistair. He had fun with Briana as they attended all the various functions culminating in a huge feast in their honor at the palace on the fifth night. Even though Alistair was supposed to be taking a few days off, he still found the opportunity to snatch a few minutes and speak with some of the nobles who lived a fair distance from Denerim that he hadn't met since being crowned.

In fact, the only thing to mar this time for him was the fact that he couldn't find Gabriel. When his page came back and reported no luck finding him, Alistair had asked that all the guards be alerted to watch for him. Late in the first evening, he heard a report from his guard commander that one of the guards thought he had seen Gabriel with an elven woman in the palace the day before. Alistair wasn't sure how much faith to put in that story, but as the days went by without Gabriel turning up, he began to wonder if perhaps Gabriel had found someone else to imprint on.

Finally, all the celebrations were over and life was returning to normal in Denerim and the palace. Most of the assembled nobility had left for their home estates, and Alistair was getting back into what was becoming his normal routine. One morning shortly after this, he was surprised when a page brought him a message from Wynne asking for a few minutes of his time. He had been in a meeting with Chancellor Eamon, but upon receiving the message, he made his excuses to Eamon. He sent the page back with a message for her to meet him in the library in fifteen minutes.

Upon entering the library, the smile that was on his face faltered as he saw Wynne and Zevran waiting for him. They both wore their travel gear. "Hey, what's going on?" he asked.

Wynne answered him, "We're leaving, Alistair. It's time."

"You can't go. Not both of you," said Alistair plaintively.

Wynne gave him a small smile. "I've always wanted to travel since I was young and see the world. Now that I have managed to slip the templar leash, I'm going before they remember and send someone to collect me."

Zevran said, "And I must go as well my friend. I need to go back to Antiva and settle things with the Crows once and for all. I've tried to stay here out of their way, but they refuse to let me be. I've foiled two of their assassination attempts in the past month."

Wynne continued, "I'm going to travel for a while with Zevran and then probably head out on my own. I want to see what is beyond Ferelden in the time I have left."

"But-I'll miss you," said Alistair almost like that naïve young man Wynne had met in the mage tower.

Wynne reached up and patted him on the cheek. "You'll be fine, Alistair. You've grown and have new responsibilities to fulfill, which you have made a fine start on. You don't need us anymore, but I shall miss you too."

"I never thought I would say this, but I shall miss you as well. Take care of yourself and that new young wife of yours. Of course, once I settle my affairs I could come back and take care of her for you," offered Zevran.

Just as Zevran finished, the door to the library opened and Briana walked in, "Alistair," she started to say but then stopped when she saw Wynne and Zevran. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't realize you were with anyone. I'll just go wait outside."

Alistair refused to acknowledge the tension that settled on the room. "No, wait," he said. "I want you to meet my friends. Briana, this is Zevran Arainai from Antiva and Wynne, mage of the Circle. Wynne and Zevran, Briana, my wife."

"Pleased to meet you," Briana said as she extended her hand. "Thank you for all you did to save Ferelden from the Blight."

Zevran recovered first and took her hand bowing over it and placed a kiss on her fingers. "Your Majesty, it is always a pleasure to meet such a beautiful woman," he said making Briana blush.

Briana flashed a look to Alistair who said, "Just ignore Zevran. He's always like that."

Wynne smiled at her and said, "Thank you dear, but we just did what we could to support the Grey Wardens. They were the real heroes."

Alistair broke in hurriedly, "Did you need me for something?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to accompany me on my tour of the healers' working area," said Briana, "but I see you are busy. I will see you later." She walked over and gave Alistair a kiss on the cheek, turned to Zevran and Wynne, and said, "It was nice meeting both of you. I will have to get Alistair to tell me the real story behind your adventures." She then left the room.

For a moment, the silence hung heavy in the air and then Wynne pulled herself together and said, "Well, she seems nice."

"Yes, she is, very nice that is," Alistair said awkwardly.

"My offer is still open to come back and help you take care of her," said Zevran with a forced lilt to his voice.

"I think I can handle it all by myself," said Alistair. "but you both know you are welcome here anytime." He gave Wynne a tight hug and kiss and shook Zevran's hand. "Do you need anything?" he asked.

"No," Zevran said. "We are ready to go. Just like the old days, hey Wynne?"

Wynne turned to Alistair one last time as she was about to walk through the door. "Be happy if you can, Alistair. You deserve it. Farewell."


	8. Conversation with Lanaya

The next few days passed quickly as she waited for Lanaya's arrival. The next morning she went to see Master Varathorn and talked with him about providing her with a mage staff. She offered to help him in any way she could with his crafting in repayment, but he wouldn't hear of it. He told her he already had a piece of wood he could use and it would be no trouble.

The third day she was in the camp, Lanaya arrived back from Denerim. Elandria was finally able to talk with her later in the afternoon in Lanaya's aravel. Upon seeing Elandria, Lanaya had given her a look with raised eyebrows but hugged her tightly. "I can't believe it. It's really you. The Hero of Ferelden alive and well. Come inside. You must tell me what has happened," Lanaya said.

"The Hero of Ferelden?" Elandria asked as she entered the aravel with Lanaya. It was just the two of them. They were in the common living area right inside the door. The interior of the aravel was done up in soft carpets made of fur from various animals from the forest. There were no chairs but soft pillows scattered around for sitting. Elandria settled down on a pillow across from Lanaya.

"That's what they are calling you these days. Catchy, huh?" said Lanaya. Elandria just rolled her eyes at Lanaya.

"Tell me the whole story, especially about this baby you are quite obviously going to have," said Lanaya.

"Where do I start?" asked Elandria. "I guess with Fort Drakon." Elandria proceeded to tell Lanaya what Morrigan had told her about that night and about her theory that the baby was the one that caused the Archdemon's death. She also told her about her recovery in the ruins.

"I'm so sorry we weren't there when Morrigan came hunting for us. We moved on shortly after you had lifted the curse once our people who had been infected with it had recovered," said Lanaya. "But what I don't understand is whose body was it at the funeral and then sent to Weisshaupt Fortress? It looked like you"

"There was a body at my funeral that looked like me? I haven't any idea," said Elandria.

"Now, tell me about the baby," requested Lanaya.

Elandria dropped her eyes down to the pillow at her side and reached out and started picking at it. "I need you to promise me that you won't tell anybody that I'm alive or about the baby. I need your promise as keeper."

"I'm not going to like this, am I?" asked Lanaya. "Very well, I promise. Who is the father? It's not that handsome elf all the girls were crazy about when you were here before is it?"

"Well, you are close. It was someone I was traveling with then but no, not Zevran. It wasn't Sten or Oghren either," added Elandria.

Lanaya thought a minute and then her eyes widened in shock, "No, you can mean..." she trailed off.

"Yes," said Elandria simply.

"Does he know?" asked Lanaya.

Elandria continued to stare down at the pillow. "No," she said. "I went to Denerim as soon as I had recovered to let him know I was alive and to tell him about the baby." She added softly, "He had broken it off with me right after the Landsmeet that made him king. He told me we couldn't be together any more and then I fought the Archdemon. I never expected to survive. I didn't even know I was pregnant until Morrigan told me afterwards."

"Oh, Elandria," said Lanaya as she gathered her up for a hug. "I'm so sorry."

Elandria hugged her tight for a minute and then sat back. "When I discovered he was married, Gabriel and I left the city. The only place I could think to come was here." She continued, "When Duncan recruited me for the Grey Wardens, he said something that has stayed with me through all this. He told me the reason he wanted me was because I could do the things that needed to be done no matter what was required. He thought that trait would be needed with the Blight coming on, and he was right, Lanaya. I've done things I've never imagined I would or could do. I made hard decisions, saw so many terrible things, killed so many people, and none of it was easy. While everything was happening, I could just push it all away and concentrate on getting the job done. Now, I'm just so tired. I've lost so much of myself, and I have to deal with my actions. To do that, I want to live quietly for a time. I want my baby born somewhere safe. Let everyone else continue to think I'm dead for a while longer. I know it can't be forever, but I just need some time. Is that too much to ask?" Elandria said.

"No, of course not," said Lanaya. "You are welcome here as long as you wish to stay." They were both quiet for a few minutes. "Are you planning on telling him?" she finally asked.

"I doubt there will be a reason to tell him," answered Elandria sadly. "He has his new wife. I'm sure they will have children of their own. Maybe someday, if I think it is in the baby's best interest, but there is no way to know right now. If the time comes, I want to be the one to tell him, though."

"I can understand that," Lanaya said. She continued, "If you are willing, there is something you could do to help me out. I've been invited to share time on the new ruling council with Valendrian, the hahren of the alienage in Denerim, as the elven representative. I told them no because I didn't have anyone here to train my apprentices, but you could work with them while I'm gone."

"Wait, I don't know. I could maybe teach them some magic and give them advice on the Fade and resisting demons, but isn't there much more to being keeper than that? I don't have any of that knowledge," Elandria said.

"Yes, that's right, but I can handle that when I am here. While I was in Denerim, I discovered that there is the possibility of the Dalish being granted land of our own in Ferelden. I think we could actually get it accomplished if there is someone there to push for it. However, I'm hesitant to leave young magelings without supervision for extended periods of time, but with you here, it just might work," Lanaya said. "It also creates a reason for the clan for your continued presence with us. I am a little worried about what might happen once the baby is born, however."

"What do you mean?" asked Elandria.

"You do know the baby will be human, right?" asked Lanaya.

"Yes," said Elandria softly.

"You know some of our people's views on humans. I think we can discourage the worst of it, but there may be some reaction to the baby not being elven," Lanaya said.

Elandria gave a wry laugh. "Believe me, Lanaya. It won't be a problem. I'm used to being vilified. Remember, I lived as a mage of the Circle with the templars who despised us most of my life. I don't think it will be anything I can't handle. Speaking of the baby, I do have a question though," she said.

"Yes?" said Lanaya.

"You are the only person in this camp who has mentioned the baby or even me being pregnant. Is there some kind of taboo about talking about babies before they are born?" asked Elandria.

Lanaya laughed and said, "I guess I had better explain this to you if you are going to be staying with us. Our clan here is one of the larger Dalish clans. We have almost eighty people. Many of the clans are even smaller. When such a small group lives together in a confined area such as our camp, certain unspoken rules develop so that we can all get along. It is considered rude to come out and speak of personal matters before the person has addressed the matter publicly themselves."

"So, no one will mention the baby until I do?" asked Elandria.

"Right," said Lanaya. "Gossip flies around the camp quicker than anything, but you don't have to worry about hearing about it if you don't bring up the subject yourself, in this case your pregnancy. As soon as you mention it though, everyone will feel free to discuss it and give you advice, wanted or not."

"I see," said Elandria thoughtfully. "So, I need to be careful in asking questions. Well, I'm glad you told me so I'm not rude. Anything else I should know?"

"Not really. You'll pick most of it up living with us," said Lanaya. "Speaking of which, we'll have to get you set up with an aravel of your own, but for now, you can stay at mine. It's the largest in the camp since my two apprentices stay with me and there is room for you."

"Oh, before I forget," said Elandria as she pulled sheets of vellum out of her shirt. "Here, I've written down everything that I know that happened that last night of the Blight and what followed. If something happens to me before I get to make a personal report, will you see that this gets to the Grey Wardens? It's important they know what happened so maybe they can figure out how to kill an Archdemon without someone else having to die. Eventually, I'll have to go back; this is just in case something happens to me before then."

"Of course," said Lanaya. "I'll seal it up and hold on to it for you."

"Lanaya, there is one more thing," Elandria said. "While you were in Denerim, did you see any of my friends there? I would really like to know what happened to them. I'm assuming they all came through the battle. Wynne, Zevran, and Shale were with me at Fort Drakon, but I had to leave the others at the city gates. Of course, I know about Morrigan and Gabriel, but Wynne, Zevran, Sten, Leliana, Shale, and Ohgren, how are they?"

"Well, Wynne and Zevran are both in Denerim. I didn't see Zevran, but I did have lunch with Wynne one day. Evidently, since they are both in the city, they keep in touch. I gather Zevran is doing some 'business' in the city, whatever that means. Wynne has been the mage representative to court these past months. Sten has returned to his people. Oghren evidently hung around Denerim for a while at one of the taverns, but ended up leaving with a mercenary company."

Elandria gave a small chuckle, "Good ole Oghren. I'm glad he survived the battle."

"Leliana has written a ballad for you called the _Hero of Ferelden. _I heard it sung while I was in Denerim, but by a different minstrel. It's a beautiful piece."

Elandria groaned, "Oh no. I can just imagine."

"Evidently, Leliana has left Denerim, but no one is sure where she went," Lanaya said.

"I wonder if she went back to Orlais. I think she really missed it," said Elandria.

"Wynne wasn't sure," said Lanaya.

Elandria looked down at her hands in her lap and asked almost inaudibly, "And the king?"

Lanaya said, "Even though I had an invitation and I went to the wedding Elandria, it's not like I was the king's personal guest or anything. I only got a few words in with him in public." She reached out and took Elandria's hand. "However, Wynne did say that he was pretty torn up at first, but had been better the past few months. Evidently there was something about a letter you had written?"

"That seems so long ago, like another lifetime," said Elandria. "I'd almost forgotten about it."

She wasn't sure how she felt about that. When she had written the letter, she had wanted him to go on with his life and not be lost in a well of grief if she died. As far as he knew she was dead, so how could she complain now that he had gone on with his life when she had asked him to do exactly that?


	9. A Favor and Some Self Examination

_A.N. Thanks to melismo, as always, for the beta._

* * *

Alistair found himself working almost nonstop the next month as he was helping to coordinate the Grey Warden attacks on the roaming bands of remaining darkspawn as well as his other duties. He continued to make nightly visits to Briana's bedchamber. Since he initially had worried about having a nightmare in her bed, he had made it a habit not to spend the entire night with her. He would wait until she dropped off to sleep and then go back to his own room.

After the first two weeks of this, Briana found herself with a lot of time on her hands and no one to spend it with. Alistair seemed to always be busy except for the few hours he spent with her each night. Since she had not been to court before, she didn't know any of the ladies from Denerim. She received some invitations to attend various lunches and outings but didn't really find anyone who she would call friend.

Finally in desperation, she took to haunting the healers in the palace. One day she went on a tour of the alienage with a group of three of the younger healers. They were discussing plans to convert the orphanage in the alienage into a clinic for the elves if money could be found to finance it. Briana spent most of the day with the healers going over the building and all of the plans. She was filled with enthusiasm for the idea. She promised that she would talk to Alistair about it and see if he could get the project approved.

That evening when Alistair came to her, she broached the subject. They were lying in her bed. She had her head snuggled up in the hollow between his chest and shoulder, and he was breathing deeply. She thought he might have been dozing. "Alistair," she said softly as she ran a finger lightly up his breastbone.

"Hmm," he said.

Briana rolled over to lie on her stomach beside him and reached up to touch the side of his face. "Alistair, wake up," she said.

He opened his eyes and then blinked them as to clear the sleep out of them. "Yes, my dear?"

"Would you do something for me?" she asked.

"If I can," he said wondering what this was all about. Briana had never asked for anything before.

"You know I went on a visit to the alienage today, right?" she asked.

"Yes, you mentioned that you were going at breakfast this morning," he said. "What's this about?"

"Well, the healers have put forth a plan to turn the old orphanage into a clinic for the elves if it can get approved. I want to know if you think it will," she said.

"I haven't heard anything about this. It must still be in the council's hands," said Alistair.

"Would the chancellor know anything about it?" she asked anxiously.

Alistair pulled himself up a bit in bed, put his arm behind his head, leaned up against the headboard, and gazed down at her. "Why are you so interested in this?" he asked

"I'm hoping that I can work at the clinic if it opens," Briana said. When she saw the expression on Alistair's face, she held up a hand. "Hold on a minute and hear me out. You spend so much time on your duties that I find I have way too much time on my hands and nothing to do. I told you before we got married how much I enjoy doing healing work. I miss it, and I'm lonely with spending so much time by myself," she finished softly.

"You don't have to spend time by yourself. I'm sure the ladies of Denerim would be thrilled to have you spend time with them," said Alistair.

"I tried that, but I don't much like them, Alistair. I'm not going to spend my time with a bunch of empty-headed women if I don't have to," replied Briana. "Besides, I miss healing. It's what I'm good at."

Briana watched Alistair's face as he considered what she had said. She could almost see the thoughts flying through his head and could tell when he had made a decision.

"I'll talk to Eamon about it and see what he knows about this plan," said Alistair. "If it's sound, I'll support it. I think the elves in the alienage can use whatever help we can give them. However, you have to promise me you won't let it interfere with your duties as queen. That has to come first. Deal?"

"I promise," said Briana happily. "Oh thank you, Alistair!" She jumped on top of him and gave him a big kiss. "I love you!," she said as she jumped up and danced around the room in joy.

* * *

_Later that night, Alistair struggles alone with his thoughts._

As Briana lay breathing deep in sleep beside me, I slowly eased my way out of her bed, picked up my clothes, and quietly left her room, shutting the adjoining door between our rooms. I pulled my pants on, built the fire back up in the fireplace, and sat down in one of the chairs in front of it. I felt unsettled thinking about what Briana had said earlier this evening.

_She couldn't really have meant she loved me, could she?_

_Why not? Aren't wives supposed to love their husbands?_

_Maybe so, but aren't husbands supposed to love their wives back? _

_I love Briana._

_Then why are you still slipping out of her room to yours in the middle of the night instead of spending the night and waking up beside her? _

_I don't want to bother her if I have a dream._

_You haven't had a dream of Lanie since the wedding. That's just an excuse. What's the real reason? _

_Is there one?_

_Fine, let's not quibble then. Why aren't you spending more time with her? Why are you looking for reasons to work late in the evenings? _

_I don't do that…I'm just busy with the council and Grey Warden business._

_There are other Grey Wardens in Ferelden now who could just as easily handle what you are doing. You could take some time off to spend with Briana if you really wanted to._

_Briana is a wonderful girl. She is fun, easy to be around, and doesn't push me for things I can't give. _

_Like love? _

_No, like time. She doesn't complain when I work late or nag at me about things. We've been married almost two months now, and this is the first time she has asked me for anything. _

_She is a good person and is doing her best to fulfill her duties as queen, but why don't you feel anything when she runs her hand over your body? Why doesn't your heart speed up and your breath come short? _

_Those things aren't necessary. I haven't had any trouble having sex with my wife._

_But that's all it is for you isn't it, just sex. It's not love. There's no connection when you are buried deep in her body, no sense of wonder, no feeling that she is made for you alone. Whose face do you see behind your clenched eyes when you make that last stroke and your body explodes into orgasm? Whose name are you so careful not to call aloud?_

And, with that, I finally have to admit to myself that I don't love my wife. I like her a great deal and am fond of her, but I don't love her. I never expected this to be so hard, that the desire for Lanie wouldn't go away. I had expected Briana to begin to replace her in my thoughts and for the memories of Lanie to fade, but it isn't happening like that. I miss Lanie more now than I did before. In a few more months, she will have been dead for a year_._ How long does this longing and wanting what I can never have again go on?

With Wynne and Zevran both gone now, I feel so alone. There is no one here who sees the real me behind the image I show the world, including my wife. Is this fake front I put on all that stretches out across the years ahead?

Driven almost against my will, I get out of my chair and walk over to the small desk I have in my room for when I wish to work in private. I reach down and open the bottom drawer where extra sheets of vellum are stored. I lift the stack of fresh vellum and from underneath pull out a few sheets that are wrinkled and heavily lined from much handling. I carry them back over to my chair and begin to read from Lanie's letter the words that are burned into my heart.


	10. A Babe Is Born

The next few months passed quickly. Lanaya sent messages back and forth to the palace and the alienage in Denerim and arranged that she would start a schedule of alternating months with Valendrian. It was decided that Lanaya would be away for one month at a time and then with the clan for two months. Lanaya was quite looking forward to working with the council. She didn't like the idea of being away from the clan, but she was really hoping that they could get the land grant for the Dalish. Since she had not been born to the clan, it was easier for her to be away than for someone who had grown up within it. However, Lanaya was not going to leave for Denerim until after the baby arrived. She was determined to be there for the birth.

Elandria spent the next almost three months with Lanaya and her two apprentices. The older one was a female elf named Rohanie who was about seventeen and Lanaya's First. The younger one was Zanathan, a young male about fourteen. Normally, a keeper only had one apprentice, but Lanaya took Zanathan on when he began to exhibit signs of magical power two years prior. Elandria sat in on their training so that she could continue it once Lanaya left.

Elandria also spent time working on her own magic, especially once Master Varathorn finished her new staff for her. With the changes she had noticed since the Archdemon's taint had coursed through her, she was able to have more control over her spells. She found that with practice that when she cast a fire spell that she could determine the size of the fire, either making a very small flame or a larger one. She spent many hours practicing her spells so that she could establish a new level of control over each one. Her healing spells became more pinpoint. Instead of a flush through the whole body, she could direct the healing energy to certain areas of the body. With her lightening spells, she could actually direct the bolts if she desired.

The clan had also been working on putting an aravel together for her. With the deaths they had from both the werewolf curse and the battle for Denerim, the extra aravels had been dismantled so it was mostly just a matter of reassembling one. It was decided that a young female elf named Vanora would move in with her in the new aravel. Vanora had lost her husband and was willing to help Elandria with both taking care of the aravel and also with the baby. Elandria had a frank conversation with Vanora before it was all decided telling her that the baby would be human. Vanora seemed to take it in stride and agreed to come stay with her once the aravel was ready.

Finally one evening, Elandria went into labor. Both Lanaya and Vanora stayed with her throughout the entire process, as well as the midwife. She had an extended labor as her petite elven frame fought to expel the human baby inside her. After hours of labor, she barely felt the cut the midwife made that allowed the baby's head to finally slip out of her body.

Lanaya had been holding her hand and encouraging her in her pushing, but craned her neck to look down at the child as it was born. "It's a boy, Elandria!" she cried. "You have a son."

"A son," Elandria repeated weakly.

Vanora took the child from the midwife once he started crying and proceeded to start cleaning him up. The midwife turned her attention back to Elandria to deliver the afterbirth and then had her cast a healing spell to close the incision she had made for the child's birth. Once Vanora had the baby cleaned up and wrapped in a soft fur, she brought him to Elandria. She carefully handed him to her.

"Isn't he beautiful? " Lanaya said. "What's his name?"

Elandria held her son tightly in her arms as she gazed down at him. To her eyes, he was perfect. "Kellin," she said. "His name is Kellin."

Once she had fed him (which Vanora had to explain how to do and help her with) and she was alone with him, she just gazed down at him searching for both she and Alistair in his features. Vanora had told her that he would lose the dark head of hair he had at birth, and his real hair color would come in after that. He had blue eyes, but she had also told her that his eyes may change color as well. Elandria was hoping he would keep them since she had blue eyes. She thought she could detect some of his father in his mouth and chin. She ran her finger around the small circular top of his ear and dropped a light kiss on his forehead. "You are my miracle child, little one," she said. "What a strange set of circumstances that had to come to pass for you to be born."

Holding their son in her arms, she couldn't help but think about Alistair and wonder how he was and how he was handling being king. He had struggled against that fate for so long to no avail. She wondered as well if he ever thought about her and what they had meant to each other just a short time ago. How she wished things could have been different and he could have been with her for Kellin's birth.

The next morning Master Varathorn came by with a present for her. It was a beautifully crafted Dar'Misaan made of silverite. "I've had this for a while and I thought that perhaps it would make a suitable gift for both you and your son. You can use it now and pass it on to him when he is old enough. I know it can't take the place of the rune sword you used to carry, but I hope you think it is a worthy blade," he said.

Elandria picked the sword up. It felt perfectly balanced in her hand. She swung it in a short stroke (since they were inside the aravel) to take its measure. "Ma serannas, Master Varathorn. It's a fine sword. I'm honored you gave it to me. I'll treasure it and pass it on to Kellin when he is old enough. Would you like to see him?"

"Oh yes," said Master Varathorn. "I just love babies."

Elandria went into the other room and picked up the sleeping Kellin. She brought him into the outer room and said, "Here he is now."

Master Varathorn leaned in to look at the baby. She saw his eyes widen and then his eyes flew to her face. "He's, um, a fine fellow, isn't he?"

"Yes," said Elandria. "I think so."

"I didn't realize he was.." Master Varathorn started to say.

"Human, you mean," Elandria said calmly. "Yes, he is, but he's my son and that is all that matters to me."

"Of course, of course," said Master Varathorn who was looking a little flustered.

Master Varathorn stayed for a little while longer and then took his leave. Elandria figured that by lunchtime everyone in the camp would know about Kellin. She wasn't really concerned because she didn't care what anybody else thought. He was her son, and she already loved him fiercely.

In the next few days, it turned out to be a good thing that Elandria had Vanora to help her. Elandria knew next to nothing about babies since they hadn't had any in the tower. Vanora was able to show her how to take care of him, but Elandria had enough trouble just breast-feeding him.

She was surprised how many of the elves accepted Kellin. There were those that she could tell didn't approve, but she didn't let it bother her. She resolved to just avoid those that were disapproving. Surprisingly, Mithra was a frequent visitor. She seemed to enjoy spending time just holding him and cooing silly sounds at him. Elandria didn't quite understand the appeal but figured it didn't do Kellin any harm.

* * *

About a month after his birth, Lanaya left for her first month in Denerim, and Elandria was feeling almost completely back to her normal self. Now that she had a sword and her staff, she wanted to get back into shape and resume the combat training she had started when she became an arcane warrior. She decided to rig up a carrier for the sword and go looking for Menarin to see if she could do some training with the hunters. She knew that they gathered on the other side of the camp most afternoons, so she headed over there after lunch, leaving Vanora to watch Kellin and setting Rohanie and Zanathan to work on some basic apprentice exercises that wouldn't require her supervision.

As she approached the training area with the new Dar'Misaan Master Varathorn had given her strapped to her back, she could hear the rhythmic ringing of blade on blade as there were a few pairs of hunters training with swords or daggers. There was a larger group off to the side where an archery range was set up. She could hear the steady _thwat_ of arrows hitting targets. She could see Menarin working with one of the younger hunters on a parry so she squatted down waiting for him to finish. She knew he had seen her, but as soon as he finished with the young hunter he strode off to correct one of the bowman's form. Elandria continued to wait patiently. She waited for about fifteen minutes as he moved from one person to the next totally ignoring her. She moved off to the side of the group and sat down on a stump, deciding to wait to talk to him until after the training session was finished.

As she sat there, she evaluated the hunters who were practicing swordplay. Elandria was pleased to see that they all had good basics, but none of them would have stood up to one of the fighters from her group of friends. She thought she had a good chance against most of them, even as late to the sword as she was. Of course, she had had the advantage of some first-rate teachers once she had acquired Spellweaver. Maker only knew how much she missed that sword.

Finally, she saw Menarin call everyone together and dismiss them for the day. She waited until most of them had moved off and then went over to talk to him.

"Menarin, if I could have a moment, please, " Elandria called to him.

He swung around in her direction, "What do you want?" he asked in a hostile tone.

Elandria noted the hostility, but kept her tone level and pleasant, "I was wondering if I could join the training sessions for the hunters who work with the sword."

Menarin looked down his nose at her, "No," he said. "We don't need any shemlen lovers here. Go away." He turned his back on her and walked off.

Elandria held her breath at his rudeness and counted to ten, putting on her "Grey Warden face" Zevran used to tease her about so no one could tell how angry she was. She turned and strode off back to her aravel inwardly seething at Menarin's rudeness.

* * *

_A.N.: Thanks to melismo for the beta reading. _


	11. Life in Denerim

True to his word, Alistair talked with Eamon about Briana's new project the next day. The chancellor knew of the clinic but not in very much detail because it hadn't been a very high priority in his eyes. At Alistair's request, Eamon promised to look into it and put Alistair's support behind the project if it was feasible. The project slowly worked its way through the council and was sent to Alistair for his approval. Once that was done, then the preparations were made to start work on the building itself. The core group set to administer and run the clinic, including Briana, were hoping to open its doors in six months. The building was in such bad shape that a lot of repair work had to be completed before they could even begin to think about opening.

While this was going on, Alistair was still working long hours but kept up his visits to Briana. He desperately wished she would conceive as their time together became more and more perfunctory. Each month around the time her courses would flow, he found himself getting irritable and short with everyone around him. He tried to counsel himself to patience and reminded himself constantly that the delay was more than likely his fault rather than hers. Meanwhile, Briana was caught up in all the excitement with the new clinic and seemed to be in a sunny mood all the time.

Finally, all the hard work Briana and her group of healers had been putting in came to fruition. The clinic was ready to open. Briana even talked Alistair into taking a tour of the place before it did so. Alistair was more concerned about noting the condition of the elves in the alienage as he remembered what it had been like when Loghain had been regent. He had been appalled at the living conditions when they had come through the alienage before that first Landsmeet. He was pleased to note that there were signs the alienage's conditions were improving. The streets seemed cleaner with no beggars accosting people as they went about their business. The elves he saw on the streets seemed to be moving purposefully, and there were even children playing around the great tree. Once they had toured the facility, he told Briana he couldn't believe the building was the same one that he had helped slay demons in not that long ago. Everything was repaired, painted, and set up ready for the first patients.

If Briana had been happy before during the preparations for the opening of the clinic, she was ecstatic now that they were actually treating patients. She came home happy most evenings with many stories to tell Alistair about her patients and what she had done that day. If Alistair became more distant as time passed, she didn't seem to notice.

Everything was running along smoothly until about two months after Briana started seeing patients at the clinic. That morning, Alistair had reminded her they were to go to the chancellor's estate for a small dinner party that evening that Eamon was having. Unfortunately, one of Briana's patients, a young child, was down with a high fever which needed careful watching and dosing, and she didn't feel comfortable leaving until the child's fever had broken. She did send a messenger to Alistair letting him know what had delayed her. When the child's fever finally broke later that night, she and her two guards, whom Alistair insisted she keep with her, trudged their way wearily back to the palace.

Once they had finally arrived back to her suite, Alistair was waiting for her. He was sitting off to the side of the room in the shadows when she entered the room, and she didn't see him. When she came in, she immediately headed towards the wash stand, rubbing her eyes and yawning with her tiredness.

A familiar voice came out of the dark, "Where have you been?"

Briana turned in surprise, "Alistair, I didn't see you there. What do you mean where have I been? I've been at the clinic. I sent you a message."

"And where were you supposed to be?" he asked.

She gave a big sigh, "I know. The chancellor's dinner party was tonight. I'm sorry, but as I told you in my note.."

Alistair cut her off harshly, "What did you promise me before the clinic even opened?"

"That I wouldn't let it interfere. I'm sorry, Alistair. I just thought a child's life was more important than a dinner party."

"If you were any normal person, I would agree with you, but you aren't. Am I to believe that there was no one else at the clinic that could have handled the situation?" he asked.

"No, of course not. The child was my patient, though," said Briana.

"So you wanted to be there instead of doing your duty here with me." said Alistair as he rose from the chair. "How nice it must be to be able to do as you wish. Maybe the next time it's a nice day, I'll decide to stroll through Denerim instead of attending those boring old council sessions, just because I FEEL LIKE IT."

"Alistair, no. It wasn't like that," Briana pleaded as she came over and took hold of his arm. "Please don't act like this."

Alistair shook her off and started walking towards the door to his rooms, "I'll leave you alone for tonight, but I'll remember in the future that you only keep promises that are convenient." With that, he stepped through the door and shut it firmly behind him.

Briana stared at the door in disbelief. Who was that stranger who had just been in her room? She had never seen Alistair behave like that before. She couldn't believe it was the same man she had married.

* * *

Once Alistair was back in his rooms, he immediately went to the door that exited out to the hall and opened it. "Adair," he called.

"Yes, your Majesty," answered one of the guards who was stationed outside the door.

"You and Reilly, get out of uniform and into plain armor. We're going to _The Broken Sword_ tonight," said Alistair.

"Are you sure, Sire? Isn't it a little late?" asked Adair.

"Yes, get moving. I want to leave soon," said Alistair.

The two guards bowed and moved off down the passage heading for the armory, leaving one guard still stationed in the hallway. Alistair shut the door to his room and moved off to where his armor was kept. As he entered the small area off to the side of his large bedroom, he saw the pommels of the two swords that hung on the wall in a place of honor gleam in the candlelight, Starfang and Spellweaver. At Fort Drakon that horrible night, he had taken the sword from the roof by the Archdemon's head and brought it back to the palace with him. He felt it only fitting that the two swords hang side by side, much as he and Lanie had lain side by side so many nights while carrying them. Wynne must have managed to pass on the arcane warrior knowledge that she acquired from Lanie before she left Denerim because Irving had been making broad hints lately about wanting the sword sent to the Tower of Magi for one of the young arcane warriors to use; however, Alistair wasn't ready to let go of it yet. He reached a hand up to graze the pommel lightly with his fingers, right where her hand had so often rested, as he thought what a shame that the only person who touched it these days was the squire whose job it was to keep all his armor in good repair.

He then turned to an armor stand where the set of leathers that Zevran had given him was kept. How he missed Zevran. He didn't realize until Zev had left for Antiva how much he relied upon Zevran's humor, companionship, and the experiences they had shared to help ease the ache that he seemed to always carry with him now. Lanie would have laughed herself silly to have heard him say that he missed Zevran after the way he used to go on and on about the assassin and how untrustworthy he was. Sighing at the memory, he started to put the armor on.

By the time he was dressed and had armed himself with a hidden dagger or two and a plain, but serviceable, long sword, he had pretty much calmed down. He would have to apologize to Briana in the morning even though he was upset with her for not keeping her promise. He knew that a lot of his anger tonight came from jealousy and frustration. She was free to do something she loved and be queen while he had given up everything he had loved to be king. Yes, he had a lot of power, but the restrictions of what he could do and who he could be were really starting to chafe at him.

He exited the room and collected Adair and Reilly, who were both fully armed and in plain armor. They then left the palace and headed for the king's favorite low-life tavern where for a few hours he could pretend he was just a regular person and let the worries of the kingdom fall from his shoulders.

The next morning, he stiffly apologized to Briana, and she very distantly accepted his apology with one of her own. She promised that it wouldn't happen again and that she would be very careful to be at the palace when he needed her.

* * *

And so things went for a little over the next year. Briana was careful to restrict her time at the clinic to the times Alistair was working. She continued to get a lot of satisfaction out of her work and was content. Alistair continued to throw himself into the even-handed governing he had started his rule with, championing policies that would benefit Ferelden. He was a bit of a social reformer trying to improve conditions for other races in the human-dominated areas of the country, as well as humans living in poor conditions. The alienages prospered and trade between the dwarves and the surface increased as well. Even the land grant for the Dalish had finally been pushed through the council.

In his private life though, he was becoming more and more unhappy. He continued to visit Briana's bedchamber, but he was losing hope they would ever have a child. When not busy ruling or working out with his guards, he seemed to spend most of his time reliving his memories of the year of the Blight. How sad was it that those days he and his friends had spent fighting for their lives were the happiest he had ever been? He considered It even more pitiable when he actually found himself missing Morrigan. Sometimes at night after he had made a raid on the larder for some cheese, he would wander the palace listlessly wondering how different his life would be if Lanie had made Anora queen.

* * *

One morning in June 9.33 Dragon, Briana knocked at their adjoining door and then came into his room. "Alistair, may I have a moment, please?"

Since Briana hardly ever came to his room, Alistair gave her his full attention, "Of course, what's wrong?"

Briana was nervously shifting her weight back and forth from foot to foot. "I think maybe, well I'm pretty sure-I'm pregnant."

Alistair's first emotion was relief followed by a surge of happiness. "That's wonderful!" he said as he moved over to pick her up, hold her against his chest, and swing her around. "Are you sure?"

"Not completely, but I'm over a week late and I usually don't run late, plus I've starting feeling sick in the mornings." Briana said.

"Is there any way to know for sure?" asked Alistair.

"Time," said Briana. "We just have to wait."

"Let's keep this to ourselves," said Alistair, "until we know. I'll say something to Eamon but that will be all."

"Okay," Briana said.

Alistair put her back down and stepped back so he could peer at her belly. Briana started to laugh at him. "There's nothing to see yet, Alistair. The baby is still quite small."

Alistair grinned sheepishly at her. "I was just checking."

Briana gave him a kiss on the cheek, "I'll see you this evening, dear," she said.

"You take care of our baby today," Alistair said with a smile.

She left the room with a smile of her own. "Of course I will," she said.

Once Briana was gone, Alistair threw himself down onto his bed, the smile dropping off his face. No more would he have to force himself into Briana's bed. The inescapable need for an heir had turned what had been an act of love and joy between he and Lanie into a desperate, unceasing duty with Briana. Maybe if that unanswered obligation hadn't been hanging over their heads and they could have taken their time in developing a relationship, some sort of true affection would have had the opportunity to grow between he and Briana. He had thought at the beginning of their marriage that there was a chance for that to happen. Somewhere along the way, however, that too had been sacrificed in the overwhelming need for a child, but at long last, an heir was on the way. He felt as though a huge weight was lifted off him. _Thank the Maker!  


* * *

A.N.: Thanks to my beta, Melismo._


	12. Life in the Forest

_A. N. I actually had to sit down and make a timeline so I could keep the two parts of this story on the same track. I heard or read somewhere that the Blight supposedly lasted about a year. For simplicity's sake, I've made the end of the Blight right around the beginning of 9.31. All the events in Denerim up to Wynne and Zevran's leaving happen in that year with Alistair's and Briana's wedding in mid summer and Wynne and Zevran leaving Denerim in late summer. Kellin's birth is in late summer/early fall of 9.31. Briana's clinic opens in the first quarter of 9.32, and she becomes pregnant in the middle of 9.33 right about the same time the below scene with Kaneath (pronunciation rhymes with beneath) and Elandria happens. Hope this helps._

_For those that need a little refreshing of their elvish, I've taken this from the Dragon Age Wikia page :_

_Mamae - mother_

_ma serannas - thank you _

_aneth ara - friendly or social greeting_

_lethallin - Friend of mine. Casual reference used for someone with whom one is familiar_

_shemlen - human_

_Thanks go to my beta reader, melismo for helping me with this chapter. _

* * *

The morning after Menarin's rudeness at hunter training, Elandria was out behind her aravel. Vanora was watching a sleeping Kellin while the apprentices were off seeking herbs in the forest. They were supposed to bring back an assortment from a list she had given them to make healing poultices with. She had decided that morning that since she wouldn't be able to practice with the hunters, she would try to work out some on her own. Even though she had trained with all the fighters in her party of friends, even Oghren, Zevran was the one she used to work with the most. She was concentrating on a pattern they used to run through to warm up when they were training. However, she was getting frustrated because she couldn't get the counters to his strokes right in her head.

"No, wrong again," she said as she lowered her sword.

She heard a voice from behind her call, "Aneth ara, Warden."

Elandria turned around to see an attractive young male elf approaching her. He looked to be about mid-teens and had brown hair, green eyes, and two daggers on his back. Elandria had noticed him around camp, mostly because he was one of the few elves she had seen carrying two weapons, but she had never spoken to him.

"Aneth ara," she replied. "May I help you?"

"My name is Torin. My father asks that you come see him at our aravel. He would have come himself, but he lost his lower leg a few years ago and finds it difficult to get around," he said.

"What's this about?" asked Elandria.

"That is for my father to say. Will you come?" replied Torin.

"All right. Let me just let Vanora know." Elandria called in to the aravel to Vanora and told her where she was going and that she would be back later. 'Lead on," she said to Torin.

He led her across the camp past the ring of aravels, and they traveled some distance in silence. "Did you really fight against the darkspawn and the Archdemon?" he finally asked.

"Yep," she said. "Me, my friends, and a lot of other people."

"That must have been so fun," he said.

Elandria looked over at the young man. "It was a lot of things, but fun wasn't one of them. It was necessary. A lot of good people died that year, people who didn't have to. You have to be aware of that; after all, not all the elves that marched to Denerim to help against the Blight returned. No, fighting isn't fun, not by a long shot. Unfortunately, it seems to be one of the few things I'm good at."

"I'm a pretty good fighter," Torin said.

"Is that so?" asked Elandria. "How many real fights have you been in?"

"Well, none yet," he admitted.

"Ah. I'm sure you'll have your chance," said Elandria with a trace of cynicism.

By this point, they had reached the aravel. It was set up some distance from the rest of the camp.

"I'm surprised you would stay way out here if your father has trouble getting around," said Elandria.

"He likes his privacy more than the convenience of being closer to everyone," said Torin. "Father, I'm back."

"I'm here, son," came a voice from the aravel. "I'll be right out."

Elandria watched as an early middle-aged elf swung his way out of the aravel. He was missing the lower part of his right leg. The aravel had handrails on either side of the door that allowed the man to work his way out and down. He picked up a handmade crutch that was leaning against the bottom of one of the rails and swung himself around into the chair that was situated nearby.

"Aneth ara, Warden," said the elf politely. Elandria could see where Torin had gotten his good looks from. His father's hair was slightly darker, but his face showed the same strong features that his son's did. His skin was more weathered with lots of smile lines around the mouth. "Thank you for coming. My name is Kaneath."

"Aneth ara, Kaneath," Elandria said with a slight bow of respect for the older man. "I'm Elandria."

"Oh, we all know who you are," said Kaneath with a smile. "Have a seat. Torin, find our guest some refreshment."

"That's not necessary," said Elandria as she sat down in the chair beside Kaneath. There was a grouping of four chairs with a large tree stump pulled up in the middle to serve as a table.

"Go on, Torin. I set some things out on the table inside. Bring them out please," said Kaneath.

"Yes, Father," said Torin.

"What can I do for you, Kaneath?" Elandria asked.

"I'm hoping it is what we can do for each other," said Kaneath. "I heard about what happened with Menarin yesterday."

"Why am I not surprised?" muttered Elandria to herself.

"I've been training Torin to use two weapons myself, as it isn't a style highly used by others within our clan. We've come to a point where I've imparted about all I can without him having another person to spar against. That's where you come in; I was hoping you would be willing to work with us. You could provide the opponent he needs and that would also allow you to practice."

"But I'm not much of a swordswoman," said Elandria. "I'm really a mage. I'm pretty good at defense, but not much on offense. Besides, I only use a single weapon."

"That's what he needs really. He will more likely run into more people using a single weapon than ones using two weapons anyway," said Kaneath.

"Well, I'm willing to give it a shot," said Elandria. "I doubt if Menarin will change his mind any time soon and let me work with the hunters."

"Torin," Kaneath called. "Bring out the water and the glasses and also that small shield."

Torin came through the door carrying a pitcher of water with a few goblets. He set them down on the tree stump and reached back inside for the shield. Kaneath handed a goblet of water to Elandria, which she took a drink from and then set it down on the table.

"Can you use a shield?" asked Kaneath.

"Yes," said Elandria, as a brief flash of Alistair standing behind her adjusting her arm and the position of the shield as he was teaching her ran through her head.

"Let's see how you match up together," said Kaneath. With that, he swung himself up with his crutch and moved over to the chair near an open section in front of the aravel. "Why don't you two warm up a little?" he asked.

Torin and Elandria both moved to the area Kaneath indicated and unsheathed their weapons. Elandria picked up the shield and moved it through a series of positions to get a feel for it. She took a couple of practice swings with her sword. In the meantime, Torin had both his daggers in his hands and was tracing patterns with them.

"Pull your blows when you land them," said Kaneath. "We don't want anyone getting hurt. Ready?"

Elandria fell automatically into the defensive position that Alistair had worked so hard to instill in her. Her shield and sword were ready to defend against whatever attack Torin chose to launch. Torin moved in aggressively with both daggers flying, as if to test her mettle right away. Elandria easily parried the strokes from Torin's blades. To her, it seemed somewhere between half and three-quarter speed with Zevran. Kaneath watched approvingly as she used the minimal force required to turn Torin's blows with no wasted motions.

"Ho ho, someone has taught you well," Kaneath said after watching them for about five minutes with Kaneath unable to get past her guard. He motioned for them to stop.

"I was lucky," said Elandria. "I had some really excellent teachers. We had quite a few fighters in our group so I really never did much attacking during fights; I mostly used my magic. When I first got my sword, it was months before my companions would let me do anything but defend against them in training. They were just starting to teach me some offensive techniques when the Blight came to a head, and we all went our separate ways afterwards_. _Mostly what I did, if I did use my sword during combat, was tie up enemies while Zevran, our assassin, attacked them from the rear or defended Wynne, our healer, until one of the fighters could get there."

"Well, we can work on improving your attack skills as well. After all, this should benefit you as much as Torin," said Kaneath. "Yes, I think this will work out fine."

Over the next several months, the three of them worked together several mornings each week with Kaneath watching as Torin and Elandria sparred. Kaneath would call out corrections and suggestions to each of them as they fought. Gradually, they started spending more time together as a group as they bonded over their training sessions. The next time the clan moved, Elandria and Vanora set their aravel up near Kaneath's and Torin's. Elandria developed a deep respect for Kaneath, as he seemed to never let his disability get in his way.

She was still having trouble sleeping. The dreams this time weren't darkspawn induced, however. She was having flashbacks from things that had either happened to her or that she had done during the Blight. One of the incidents that continued to bother her was being unable to save Amalia from the demon in Honnleath. After three rough nights in a row with little sleep after dreams of having to kill the little girl again, Kaneath asked her what was wrong. In desperation, she told him the story. Kaneath was able to talk her through what had happened and help her see that she did the best she could and that she couldn't expect to save everyone. She and Kaneath became closer, and she found herself turning to him more and more as she was able to use him as a sounding board to help her work through the memories that were plaguing her.

Other relations in camp, however, remained rocky. Menarin's group of hunters seemed to take perverse pleasure in being rude and continued to hand out thinly-veiled insults. Elandria refused to rise to the bait and continued to ignore them. Lanaya had offered to speak with them, but Elandria didn't want to draw attention to the problem or create more difficulty within the small camp.

During this time, Kellin was growing by leaps and bounds. He lost the dark hair he had at birth and his new shade came in, a darkish blonde with tinges of copper in it. Elandria couldn't help but be happy that he had the same startling sky blue eyes that she did. As his first birthday came and went, he became more mobile as he was starting to walk and was into everything. After they had gathered with the clan for dinner in the evenings, they would often go back to their aravels and build a fire outside where all of them would sit and talk or even sing around the fire. Kellin brought a lot of joy to their communal evenings, although Elandria was constantly worried he would end up in the fire. Gradually, some of Torin's friends started joining them, and often they would have quite a crowd in the evenings.

These peaceful times really helped Elandria to begin to put the events surrounding the Blight behind her and heal her internal conflicts. She missed her other friends though, especially Wynne and Zevran. Wynne had become like a mother to her, and Zev was her best friend. She missed his humor and the way he could always make her laugh. Of course, with Kellin in front of her all the time, Alistair was never far from her mind either. Although there were still nights when she was lying in bed alone that she struggled to accept the fate that had separated them, she was starting to realize she could build a life without him and find moments of happiness if she was willing to take them.

* * *

One day in mid 9.33 Dragon, she and Kaneath were sitting outside the aravels. Vanora wasn't feeling well and was lying down inside. Torin had offered to take Kellin off for a visit to the main camp so she could get some rest. Elandria and Kaneath were sitting together quietly talking. Kaneath was carving a small figurine, and Elandria was cleaning the armor she had recently gotten from Master Varathorn.

As they worked together, a companionable silence came over them. Three of the hunters came into view from the direction of the main camp. They were heading out into the forest for a routine patrol.

"I smell cheap perfume," said one of the hunters. "Aranell, do you smell it?"

Another one of the elves took a big sniff of the air and said, "Yeah, I think I do."

The third elf chipped in, "There must be a whore around here somewhere."

Kaneath glanced over at Elandria. He saw her jaw tighten, and she paused in her rubbing of the armor, but then she continued with her task, not lifting her eyes or saying anything. Kaneath waited for the elves to finish laughing and to move on.

"Why do you let those fools get away with that?" he asked disgustedly.

Elandria continued with her work. "A couple of reasons, I guess," she finally said. "For one, I could put a stop to it easily enough by threatening them, but then that makes me no better than they are. Second, the way they call me all those lovely things like 'whore' and 'shemlen lover' is in the exact tone that the templars used to use when they called me 'mage' in the tower. You couldn't do anything about it, so you learned to live with it. The third is I don't want to cause trouble. Lanaya has been good enough to let me stay, and it's been a good place to raise Kellin. He's happy here."

"So, are you planning on staying with us for some time to come?" asked Kaneath.

"I haven't really thought about it," said Elandria. "At some point, I should go back to the Wardens, if for nothing else than to let them know what really happened that night at Fort Drakon."

"Are you going to take Kellin with you when you go?" asked Kaneath.

"Of course," said Elandria.

"Have you thought about what that will entail?" Kaneath asked.

"I don't understand what you are asking. What do you mean?" asked Elandria.

"If you are planning on going back to the Wardens with Kellin and telling them everything that happened, don't you think the issue with his father will come up?" asked Kaneath.

Elandria caught her breath as her stomach clenched, "What issue with his father?"

Kaneath said gently, "I mean who his father is."

Elandria's eyes flew to Kaneath's face. He was looking at her with that calm and earnest expression he so often wore. _Maker help me, he knows. He knows who Kellin's father is._

"Yes," Kaneath said in response to her unasked question. "I know Kellin is the king's son. I've known for some time."

"But how?" asked Elandria. "Lanaya was the only one who knew, and she promised she wouldn't tell anyone."

"Do you remember when you came here seeking the clan's aid against the Blight?" asked Kaneath.

"Of course," said Elandria.

"You two did a fairly good job of downplaying your relationship while you were here, which was a smart thing to do considering how many of our people feel about humans. Do you remember the night you went for a walk with him out past the camp? You walked right by our aravel that night with your arms wrapped around each other whispering together. I was sitting out front and saw you. I didn't think either one of you had noticed me," he said.

"Did Torin see?" asked Elandria.

"No," said Kaneath. "He doesn't know and I haven't told him."

"Thank you," said Elandria.

"You give the biggest clue all the time if someone is paying attention," said Kaneath.

"Me?" asked Elandria.

"Yes, you talk about all your companions from those days frequently, except for one. His name never crosses your lips and he's never in any of your stories," stated Kaneath.

"Huh, I never thought about that," said Elandria. "You haven't told anyone else, have you?" asked Elandria.

"No," Kaneath said, "And I won't, but I think you need to start thinking about telling Kellin's father about him."

"What!" said Elandria. "Why?"

"Well, for one thing, when you go back to the Wardens, Kellin's paternity _will_ come out. When the rest of the country finds out you are alive, it's going to spread like wildfire along with the news that you have a son, just because of who you are. It's unavoidable. Even if you don't admit publicly who the father is, don't you think he will figure it out? It probably wouldn't make the king happy to learn he has a son in that manner, especially if others already know," said Kaneath.

"I didn't think about that either," said Elandria. She laid down the piece of armor she was working on and brought a hand up to rub her forehead. "This just keeps getting more and more complicated."

"What if the king has no other children? He has been married for almost two years now and there have been no children born of that union. After everything you went through and did to save this country are you going to leave the succession open to civil war again?" asked Kaneath. "And the final reason is Kellin himself. You are depriving him of his birthright, especially if he is the only child the king ever has."

"I'm not depriving him of anything," said Elandria. "I'm saving him from it. I know what it is like to grow up in a cage you can't escape. Being a prince would be just like that. Having to follow all those unspoken rules, having people watch you all the time, never being allowed to do what you want to do. It's no life for a child. At least here, he can be free and just be himself. I watched his father struggle against taking on that fate as an adult. Why should I force my son into the same situation, especially at such a young age?" asked Elandria.

"It's not for me to answer that question, but I'm sure there would be benefits for Kellin and ways to circumvent the worst of what you are talking about, especially for a young child. What about Kellin's right to know his father? He's pushing two now. In the next few years, he's going to start asking questions. How are you going to answer them? Are you planning on ever telling Kellin who he is?" asked Kaneath.

Elandria rose from the bench she was sitting on and began pacing. "I don't know. I just haven't thought about it. We've both been so happy here. I guess I've been willing to let things go on as they are and not worry about the future."

"I'm not saying you have to tell the king today, next month, or even next year, but you need to start thinking about it and how you are going to handle the situation," said Kaneath. "Otherwise, it most likely will blow up in your face when you are least expecting it."

Elandria let out a defeated breath. "Thanks for your advice," she said. "I promise I will think about it."

* * *

That night as Elandria laid in bed she tried to imagine the ways she could tell Alistair both that she was alive and about his son. First, she imagined marching up to the palace Kellin in tow with Alistair and his faceless queen sitting on their thrones. _Hi guys, guess what? I'm not dead. Not only that, but surprise, here's your son, Alistair. _Or how about,_ Hey Alistair, I'm alive and remember that no bastard rule you had? Whoops. _She didn't think either one of those would work.

It was late that night before she finally drifted off still running scenarios through her head. Suddenly, in the early morning hours, she jolted wide awake as something she hadn't felt the past two years brushed strongly against her senses.

_DARKSPAWN! _


	13. Night of the Announcement

_A.N.: As always, thanks to Melismo for keeping me straight. _

* * *

Eamon couldn't figure out what was wrong with Alistair this morning. They were in Eamon's study going over some paperwork for a very important meeting they had scheduled in the afternoon. He had to keep bringing Alistair's attention back to the matters at hand. Finally after about two hours of this, he couldn't take it any more. "Are you feeling unwell today, Alistair?" he asked even though Alistair didn't look sick.

Alistair gave a little jump as if his thoughts had been miles away and turned his eyes to Eamon, "No, I'm fine."

"You seem distracted," Eamon said. "Is anything the matter?"

"No, nothing is the matter," said Alistair, and after a slight hesitation as he made up his mind, he continued, "In fact, we may have some good news."

"What's that?" asked Eamon.

"Briana came to me this morning and told me she thought she was pregnant," said Alistair.

"What! And you are just now telling me? Congratulations!" said Eamon heartily as he got up and pounded Alistair's back.

"Don't get too excited," cautioned Alistair. "Briana isn't positive. I want to wait until she is farther along before we make a public announcement. You are the only one I'm telling, so please keep it to yourself. So many things can go wrong when it comes to babies."

"True," said Eamon. "That's probably very wise. Are you going to stop this silliness of her working at that clinic in the alienage while she is pregnant? The woman is our queen, and she's out almost every day that she doesn't have public duties taking care of elves. I'm starting to hear more and more grumbling from the nobles about it, that it is beneath the dignity of the crown."

Alistair thought for a moment. "No, I don't believe so, at least right now. It would only upset her, and I don't want to do anything that would cause her stress. Maybe, when she gets further along we'll address it, although hopefully she will come to that conclusion herself."

* * *

Over the next few months, Alistair's life seemed to run along smoothly. There was no major trouble brewing in the kingdom, and since he wasn't having to force himself into Briana's bed, their relationship actually improved. He made sure he spent a part of every day with her, and they were soon back to getting along well. He didn't realize just how much pressure he had put on himself about producing a child, but with the baby on the way, he felt a lightening of his spirit. He was able to enjoy people and events more, and he even stopped brooding so much about Lanie now that he had the birth of his baby to look forward to.

Briana was also quite happy during this time. She was fortunate in that she didn't have much trouble with morning sickness and was able to keep to her normal routine. Alistair was so much happier and willing to spend more time with her, which pleased her. She continued her clinic work, but cut back her hours in order to spend more time at the palace with Alistair.

One day, in what Briana figured was about her fourth month of pregnancy, she was working late at the clinic. All of the other healers were gone and the only ones left in the building were the two women hired to stay and watch over any patients that stayed overnight. They had two patients currently staying at the clinic, one elderly lady with a bad episode of food poisoning who was unable to take care of herself and a woman who had had a miscarriage earlier in the day. That case hit home with Briana, but luckily another healer had handled it. Briana should have been gone for the day, but she had decided to stay for a bit and catch up on some paperwork. There was a big dinner at the palace tonight for the new Orlesian ambassador who had just arrived in Denerim. To honor the ambassador, it was decided that the formal dinner would be at a later hour, around nine, much as it was in Orlais. When Briana heard the bells ring six, she figured she had better head back to the palace. She called her two guards and the three of them started out the door.

Just as she was exiting the clinic, a male and female elf approached carrying another female elf. This woman looked as though she had been beaten to within an inch of her life. Her face was swollen and starting to show bruises. Briana could tell just by looking at her that she had multiple broken bones in her arms and legs. Briana threw open the door to the clinic and called for the two nurses on duty.

"Quick," she said to the two elves carrying the woman. "Get her inside."

Briana switched gears into healer mode and started to immediately assess and treat the patient. It was almost an hour later before she even thought about the dinner that evening. The patient was stable for the moment with the worst of her injuries treated, but there was still much more to be done. She knew it would probably cause problems with Alistair, but there was no way she could leave right now. She was worried about the patient having internal injuries and knew she would need to be watched closer than the two nurses would be able to do. She did send one of the guards back to the palace with a note for Alistair, but the guard wouldn't be able to get there much before the dinner started. She also asked the guard to send a message to Elwin, another of the healers, once he got back to the palace to see if Elwin could come and take over the case. However, there was no way she was leaving until another healer arrived.

* * *

Alistair was in his room as Adwen, his elven man servant, was helping him get ready for the formal dinner that evening with the Orlesian ambassador. In his third year of kingship, Alistair was pretty much used to the various modes of dress he had to employ for different occasions, but he still hated formal occasions. He was complaining to Adwen about the tightness of the cummerbund he was being squeezed into when a knock came on the door.

"Your Majesty," called one of his guards. "There is a message for you."

"Come on in," yelled Alistair still standing with his arms outstretched as Adwen was tying the cummerbund around his waist.

The door opened and in walked Daig, one of the guards from Briana's detachment. He entered the door with a bow for Alistair and said, "A message from the queen, your Majesty." He extended a single sheet of paper folded over.

Alistair took the paper and opened it up as Adwen finally finished fussing with the cummerbund. As he began to read, his face darkened. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked Daig.

Daig dropped to one knee and bowed his head. "I'm just the messenger, sire. I have another message to deliver to the healer Elwin as well. Is there a reply you would like me to take back?"

"No," said Alistair shortly. "I'll deliver my reply in person. You may go."

"Yes, your Majesty," said Daig as he got up and left the room.

Alistair spun around and walked to the door himself, opening it and addressing one of his guards. "Adair, send a page for the chancellor and ask him to come as soon as he can."

"Yes, your Majesty," said Adair with the crossed-fist bow that his guards used to salute him.

Alistair couldn't believe Briana would do this to him again. She knew she had to be there tonight, that it would be an insult to the ambassador if she wasn't. He couldn't believe she would pick this night of all nights to pull a stunt like this. He was pacing around the room in his anger as Adwen was trying to get him ready.

"Please, your Majesty, I must attend to your hair," he begged. "Please sit down."

Alistair threw himself down in the chair and let Adwen do what he wanted with his brushes and styling as he was busy trying to figure out how he was going to handle this. "What's the time?" he asked suddenly.

"I believe it is almost half past eight, sire," said Adwen. "The bells should be ringing the half hour soon."

Great, he had a half hour to figure a way out of this situation. Maybe Eamon would have some idea what they should do. It was only a few more minutes before Eamon was knocking on the door.

"You wanted me, your Majesty?" Eamon asked as he walked in the door.

Alistair dismissed Adwen as he was as ready for the evening as he was going to be, and he filled Eamon on with the situation with Briana.

Eamon shook his head, "This is bad, Alistair. She couldn't have picked a worst night for this to happen. All the nobles will be in attendance along with the dignitaries from Orlais."

"I know," said Alistair running his hand through his hair and disrupting all of Adwen's careful primping. "The only thing I can think of is to wait until an appropriate time at the dinner and then announce Briana's pregnancy and say that she is feeling unwell because of it. I know she should be there for the announcement, but can you think of any other way to handle this?"

"Not really, no," said Eamon thoughtfully. "It just might work, though."

"We'll need to see that she gets back without anyone the wiser. If she is seen coming back into the palace that could blow the whole thing. Can you get someone to take care of that?" asked Alistair.

"Of course," said Eamon. "I'll get her maid to go down to the kitchen to fetch some tea and such for her. We'll start pretending she is sick in her room now."

"Okay," said Alistair. "Good idea."

Eamon left to get things in motion so hopefully no one would find out the real story on where and what Briana was doing that night. Alistair went to the dinner and acted like everything was just fine. He knew no one would be rude enough to mention the queen's absence to him if he didn't give them the opportunity.

Finally, after dinner, he made a nice speech about how much he was looking forward to working with the new ambassador, and then he dropped his bombshell. "There is one more thing I would like to say, lords and ladies," said Alistair as he was standing at the head table and still had everyone's attention. "I'm sure you all have noticed the queen's absence this evening. She was greatly looking forward to attending tonight and seeing each one of you. However, at my insistence, she remained in her rooms this evening as she was feeling unwell." You could have heard a pin drop in the room it was so quiet. "I really should wait until she is here with me to tell you all this, but I'll just go ahead. The queen is expecting. In about four to five months, Ferelden should have its heir."

The room exploded as everyone started talking at once. Alistair was tied up for what seemed like hours as everyone present wanted to offer their personal congratulations to the king. The Orlesian ambassador congratulated him heartily and assured him there was no offense taken that the queen wasn't present this evening, but he did say that he hoped to meet her as soon as she was feeling better.

When the evening was finally over, Alistair went back to his rooms and changed into a comfortable pair of pants and shirt and then went through the door to Briana's room. She was sitting in a chair quietly in front of the fire with a mug of tea in her hands. She calmly looked up at him as he came through the door.

"What kind of stunt were you playing tonight?" Alistair hissed at her as he dropped into the chair across from her.

"Stunt?" said Briana questioningly. "I didn't realize saving someone's life could be classified as a stunt."

"You know what I mean. I needed you to be at dinner tonight and you weren't," Alistair said.

Briana took a sip of her tea, set the mug down on a side table, and said, "I believe we have had this discussion before. I will always put a patient's need above any social obligation. Sorry if that inconveniences you."

Alistair's eyes narrowed. "You aren't one bit sorry, are you?"

"Not really, no," said Briana. "By the way, the woman should live. Thanks for asking. She had been raped and beaten and then dropped at the gate to the alienage. Conveniently, none of the guards saw anything. A married couple returning to the alienage found her lying in the street. Why don't you get angry at that instead of at me," she said.

Alistair pulled himself out of the chair and began pacing around the room. "Of course, I'm angry about that, and I'll see that an investigation into the incident is started. However, that is not what concerns me tonight. Your behavior does."

"My behavior," said Briana, her voice rising on the last syllable as she started to get angry.

"Yes, your blatant disregard for your duties as this country's queen," said Alistair, as his temper continued to flare. "Do you realize I had to lie to an entire roomful of people tonight to cover for your absence? By the way, everyone sends their congratulations on the baby."

"You made the announcement tonight without me?" Briana asked.

"Yes, I did. I had to make some excuse for you not being there. Tonight was a formal affair between Ferelden and Orlais. Your absence could have been construed as a grave insult to Orlais. Luckily, once I made the announcement, the ambassador was gracious enough to overlook it. If anyone says anything, I told them that you were feeling unwell and I insisted you stay in your rooms this evening. Don't contradict me and don't let anyone know where you were tonight. I assume you got back into the palace without anyone seeing you." said Alistair.

"Yes, Eamon's man brought me a cloak to wear that covered my face and snuck me in past the guards," said Briana. "But back to my 'blatant disregard' for my duties. You are being unfair, Alistair. The only time I have ever not been where and when you needed me was the two incidents where I was taking care of patients. I don't think you can call that blatant disregard," Briana said hotly.

Alistair looked down at her. "Well, we can just fix that right now. I forbid you to go back to the clinic. You will stay here and attend to your duties as queen, including raising a healthy child," he said forcefully.

Briana looked at him in disbelief, "You forbid me? FORBID? Are you serious?"

"Perfectly serious," came Alistair's answer.

Briana was so mad she couldn't speak at first. Tears started rolling down her face.

"And don't try the crying bit either. That won't work," said Alistair.

"I'm crying because I'm mad, you selfish jerk," she retorted.

"Besides," Alistair continued as if she hadn't even spoken, "I don't want anything to happen to cause you to lose the child. You could come into contact with all kinds of diseases."

This last bit pushed Briana past the edge of her control. "You don't think I'm careful as to which patients I treat? Besides, we both know that the true danger to this baby is from its father," Briana was almost screaming at him now.

Alistair went so still he didn't even breathe as Briana's words ripped through him, right to the hidden fear he'd had ever since she had told him she was pregnant. What if their child wasn't strong enough to overcome the taint that ran in his veins? "I can't believe you just said that to me, that you would throw that in my face," he said in the coldest voice Briana had ever heard.

"Alistair, I'm sorry," Briana said as she realized she had gone too far. "I didn't mean it." She got out of her chair and reached out for him, but Alistair put up his hand to stop her.

"Don't touch me, Briana," he said in that same cold voice. "Not now."

He turned and left her room. Alistair had never touched a woman in anger in his life, and he certainly wasn't going to start with his pregnant wife, but he didn't trust himself in the same room with Briana at the moment.


	14. Elandria's Defense

_A. N.: I haven't played through Awakenings yet, so if it seems weird that the darkspawn would be attacking in the forest three years after the game, I apologize. There are a few things that are going to occur as a result of this fight, so I needed to make it happen._

_Thanks to everyone who has added the story to their alerts, reviewed, or just continues to read it and, of course, to Melismo. _

* * *

As soon as Elandria felt the brush of darkspawn against her senses, she was moving. She rolled out of bed and immediately grabbed for her armor. "Darkspawn, Gabe," she said as he looked up at her from his place on the floor. "Vanora," she called as she moved down the aravel towards Vanora's room. "Wake up and get Kellin. We need to get to the main camp. Bring your bow with you," said Elandria. She jumped out of the aravel, ran to Kaneath's, and banged on the door. "Torin, Kaneath," she yelled. "Wake up and get dressed for a fight. We' have to get to the main camp!" Once she heard them moving around, she ran back to her aravel to put the rest of her armor on and grab her staff, sword, and shield.

"Ready, Vanora?" she asked.

"What's going on?" Vanora wanted to know.

"I'll explain on the way," Elandria said, "but I'm going to need you to take care of Kellin tonight."

"Okay," Vanora said. Vanora held a sleeping Kellin in her arms and had her bow slung on her back.

"Let's get Kaneath and Torin and go," said Elandria exiting the aravel.

"What about everything here?" asked Vanora.

"Just leave it," Elandria said, turning to see Torin was out of the aravel and Kaneath was swinging down the handrails behind him. "Let's go," said Elandria. "We'll talk as we move."

For speed's sake, Torin and Elandria helped Kaneath as Vanora carried Kellin. Gabriel trailed closely behind them.

"What's wrong?" asked Torin. "What's the hurry?"

"It's darkspawn," Elandria said. "They're close. We need to warn the camp. Come on, let's move faster." With Elandria pushing them, they made it to the camp in a little over five minutes half the time it normally took. Elandria strode up to Menarin's aravel banging on the door, desperately wishing Lanaya were here instead of in Denerim. When he finally answered the door, she didn't give him a chance to talk. "Menarin, there are darkspawn close to camp. You have to get the hunters together. We need to get everyone to the center of camp."

"What foolishness is this?" sneered Menarin.

"Look, I know it is a big concern to you who I slept with three years ago, but can you let it go long enough to help save your clan?" asked Elandria. "We don't have much time. Are you going to help or hinder us?"

"How do you know there are darkspawn?" asked Menarin suspiciously.

"I'm a Grey Warden, remember? Darkspawn are what we do. Trust me, they are out there; I can sense them. Now, I'll ask again, are you going to help?"

"Okay," said Menarin. "What do you want to do?"

"Let's get everyone alerted and to the center of camp, quickly and calmly if you can. We don't want to start people panicking," said Elandria. "Tell everyone to bring their weapons and armor, especially bows and arrows." Elandria quickly sent Menarin and Torin out in opposite directions to sound the alert. She headed towards Mithra's aravel to get her up and going.

Within about ten minutes, most of the elves had gathered at the center of camp.

"Quiet everyone," said Elandria as she raised her voice so they could hear. "As I'm sure you've heard, there are darkspawn outside of camp." She did a quick check again but couldn't detect that they had moved any closer. "They aren't close yet, but I expect them to head this way. As I know they are out there, they know I'm here as well."

"What are we going to do?" asked one of the elves fearfully.

"There are two options, I see," said Elandria. "I would be willing to try and draw them away, which would be great if it worked. However, if it doesn't and they hit the camp, it would be better for me to be here."

"Why should we listen to you, shemlen lover?" yelled one of Menarin's hunters.

Elandria strode up to the elf and looked him right in the eyes, "Because I'm your best chance against a large group of darkspawn. How many hundreds of darkspawn have you killed? How many Archdemon's heads have you put a sword through?" she challenged.

The elf dropped his eyes and mumbled something Elandria didn't bother to catch.

"Anybody else have a problem with me leading this attack?" she asked.

"No, Grey Warden," came the replies.

"Fine, back to the darkspawn," Elandria said. "Like I said, I would be willing to try and draw them away, but I think it is better if we get ready to meet them here, so this is what I propose we do."

"All children and noncombatants will be in one group here in the center of camp. I want everybody who can't use a sword and can use a bow surrounding this group. Menarin, how many swordsmen do we have?"

"Sixteen," said Menarin.

"Round them up. I'll talk to them in a bit and tell them what I want them to do. The rest of you that are going to be here in the center, the thing that really worries me is if they have a mage with them that can cast a fireball spell. That's why I don't want you all in the aravels. They would go up in flames too easily. I want you to have buckets of water set around just in case. If there is a mage and it does cast a fire spell, don't panic. Drop and roll or use the water in the buckets. Rohanie and Zanathan, where are you?"

The two young elves raised their hands.

"I want both of you to stay within the circle of archers _no matter what_. Rohanie, you will heal anyone you can reach with your spells from inside the circle. If there is a mage, Gabe and I will do our best to take them out right away, but if the mage does get a spell off, your first priority is to make sure all the children and noncombatants are okay. Zanathan, you will stay inside the circle as well. If any darkspawn get close enough, use your flame blast and winter's grasp spells and attack with your staff. Kaneath will be in charge of everyone in the center group. Take your orders from him. Kaneath, I'll talk to you in a bit, but for now start getting everyone ready."

A large group of the elves moved off to center around Kaneath as he began to organize the noncombatant group.

Elandria turned to Menarin. "Do you have your hunters together?"

"Just about,' he said.

"Come here," she said drawing him to the side. "I'll show you what we are going to do." She squatted down and with her finger drew a diagram in the dirt with the circle of noncombatants in the center. "I want four of your steadiest swordsman who won't lose their cool in a fight to be on the back side of the circle in case any darkspawn try to sneak around." She marked the positions on the diagram where she wanted them placed. "They have to be people you have confidence in that in the heat of the fight won't ignore orders and go running off chasing darkspawn. The other twelve of us I want in a wedge shape in the front, like this," she said as she drew that in as well. "I'll take point in the middle with Gabe, which is the farthest distance forward. I want you beside me and Torin and someone else you trust to hold down the ends closest to the noncombatant group. The rest of the fighters will be spread between those three points just like an arrowhead. Understand?" she asked.

"Yes," said Menarin.

"What we will do is take out all the melee darkspawn, which will probably mostly be hurlocks, that will come at us in the first rush. I'm sure they will have genlock archers that will not come within melee range. We will have to advance the line once we clear that first rush of darkspawn. That's why I want you near me. If I have to go after a mage, you are going to need to take command of the line and when it advances."

"No problem," Menarin said.

"I want to talk to the fighters now," Elandria said as she checked once again to see if the darkspawn had moved any closer, which they hadn't.

She and Menarin gathered those who would be part of the fighting force. Menarin picked his four people to guard the back of the noncombatant group and also assigned who went where on the front line.

Once everyone knew where they were going to be, Elandria took over. "Have any of you ever fought darkspawn before?" she asked. When all the replies were in the negative, she continued, "They are loud. They stink, and they are ugly. This will get messy as the battle progresses. Be careful of the darkspawn blood and try not to get it on you. Just remember what you are supposed to do and whatever happens don't go running off by yourself. This line is the defense for the rest of the clan. If you break it and darkspawn get through, well, that would be a bad thing. Just wait for them to come to you. There will probably be genlock bowman that will not come right up to us. Once we have killed all the hurlocks and any other darkspawn that will come into melee range, we'll start advancing the line to get the archers, but wait for the command from either Menarin or I. We will advance at a walk. Try to keep the same distance between each of you, as well as the arrowhead formation, as we move. If there is an emissary, that's a darkspawn that uses magic, Gabe and I will try to get to it as fast as we can. That means I will leave my position, so Menarin and Denarith you have to be ready to cover the hole that will leave in the line.

"Also, I will probably be casting magic during the fight so be prepared for it. Lightning and cold spells are my specialty. None of my spells will harm you, so don't worry about that. Rohanie and I may be casting healing spells on you at times as well. Oh and one more thing, I have a special defensive spell that I use on myself. It makes me look like a spirit. Here, I'll turn it on now." Elandria closed her eyes and activated her fade shroud turning a ghostly white. "This allows me to take less damage when I'm fighting in melee combat. Us poor mages that want to be on the front line with you fighters need all the help we can get." She deactivated the shroud and returned to normal perception. "Menarin, get the fighters ready. I need to go talk to Kaneath."

"Yes, Warden," said Menarin.

Elandria headed over to Kaneath. "Are you about ready?" she asked.

"I think so," said Kaneath. "We have enough bowman to surround the entire group, and we've brought the buckets of water you wanted."

"Just be sure your bowman don't shoot those of us out in front of you," said Elandria. "Oh, and make sure the children know what to expect so they don't go running off when the fighting starts. It's going to get loud and scary for them. I'll start off casting a lightening spell so make sure everyone is ready for that as well. It's pretty noisy."

"Right,' said Kaneath. "We've already got the children covered, but I will let everyone know about the magic."

"Kaneath, whatever happens, don't let Rohanie or Zanathan leave the circle of archers. They would be slaughtered by any darkspawn. We don't have the fighters to protect them and everyone else at the same time," said Elandria. "See anything I'm missing?" she asked.

Kaneath shook his head. "Not that I can tell," he said. "Good luck."

"You too, Kaneath," Elandria said. "Keep everyone together if you can. Oh, and one more thing," Elandria said in a much quieter voice, "If something happens to me, will you and Lanaya see that Kellin is taken to his father?"

Kaneath just looked at her for a moment. "Of course," he said. "But I trust that won't be necessary."

"Just in case," Elandria said, gave him a quick hug, and then turned away to find Vanora. "Are you and Kellin set?" she asked. The elves had placed a couple of blankets on the ground for some of the younger children to sleep on until the fight started. Kellin was stretched out on the ground sleeping with the other young elven children.

"We'll be fine, Elandria," Vanora said. "I'll take care of Kellin. You get rid of the darkspawn."

"Deal," Elandria said with a smile. "Do I tell you often enough how much I appreciate everything you do for Kellin and me?" she asked.

"Don't you go getting all sentimental on me," said Vanora. "You can tell me that tomorrow."

"Well, I just wanted you to know that I do," Elandria said. She squatted down by Kellin and ran her hand down the side of his face as he murmured in his sleep. _Maker, how I love this little boy. I understand now why Grey Wardens are discouraged from having families. Maybe Kaneath was right, and Kellin should be with Alistair. At least he would be protected from the darkspawn if he was in Denerim. _Elandria put a knee down on the ground, leaned over, placed a kiss on the side of his cheek, and gave his hair one more stroke. _Be safe, little one. _

With a sigh, she stood up and purposefully cleared her mind of her worry for Kellin. She headed back towards the line of fighters as she ran her plans through her head. She felt as though she was missing something, but couldn't figure out what it was. She checked on the darkspawn again, but still had no indication that they were moving for the camp. Since they weren't in motion yet, she walked up and down the line of fighters talking and joking with them, trying to steady their nerves. There were one or two she was worried about, but most of them seemed like they would be solid in the coming fight.

Elandria was keeping almost a steady check on the darkspawn through her warden senses, so she felt it as soon as they started moving. She quickly moved back to her position with Gabriel standing protectively in front of her and called out, "Get ready, they're coming. Remember stand your ground." She activated her fade shroud and pulled her sword but not her shield, as the first two spells she planned to cast she could do so with her sword drawn. She felt the tension that fell over the fighters as they waited for the first sight of the darkspawn.

"By the Creators," Elandria heard Menarin say as the front rank of hurlocks and genlocks came into view. They were loping along until they saw the line of elves waiting for them, then they broke into a full run and started with their foul grunting. Elandria waited until she was sure she would catch the majority of them in her tempest spell and then she started casting. She knew she drew some funny looks as she raised her arms and started waving her sword around casting her spell. Once she finished, the lightening flared out in front of them, catching the darkspawn in its area of effect. She immediately started casting chain lightning as soon as she finished tempest. Gabriel was in full attack mode, growling and snarling, ready to launch himself as soon as the darkspawn were close enough. As she finished chain lightning, she used her new ability with her magic to direct the bolts. Between her two spells, she managed to drop three of the oncoming creatures, as well as injure several more. She could hear the crash of blade on blade as the remaining hurlocks and genlocks met the elven defenders.

Gabriel let out his howl and then jumped on a darkspawn right in front of her, grabbing it in his jaws and shredding his way through it. Elandria reached back for her shield and brought her sword up as another hurlock ran past Gabriel. She parried two swings from it before she saw her opportunity and was able to make a quick slash to its neck, dropping the hurlock in its tracks. She looked up and down the line, noting that one of the elves had taken a severe cut to the arm judging by the amount of blood he was losing. She quickly cast a heal spell on him, causing the injury to close.

By this time, arrows were starting to fly from both behind her and in front of her as the genlock archers she had expected had materialized and were aiming for the fighters. The elven archers behind her were answering in kind, hopefully being careful in their arrow placement. They didn't need to lose any fighters to the Dalish's own arrows. Elandria did a quick check down the field of engagement trying to see if there was an emissary. She thought it was a good thing that she hadn't detected any magic from the darkspawn yet. Maybe they would get lucky, and this group wouldn't have one with it.

As the last of the hurlocks at the line was killed, Elandria raised her sword and shouted, "Forward! Keep your spacing!" The line slowly advanced as the fighters were using their shields to defend themselves against the arrows that were coming their way. As the line neared, the Genlocks withdrew, causing them to have to advance again. Elandria threw a glance behind her making sure no darkspawn were between them and the noncombatants and then pressed on. This close to so many darkspawn her ability to sense the locations of individuals diminished, as there was just a constant fire in her blood and a slightly oily, sour taste in the back of her throat.

As the line drew near again, some of the genlocks were drawing melee weapons while others continued to retreat. Elandria had the line halt as they dealt with the creatures in front of them. Just as most of these darkspawn had been killed, another massed group rushed towards them. As they had advanced the line through most of the open area in the center of camp, they were near the edge of the forest and so didn't have the warning they had the first time as these creatures materialized out of the forest right in front of them. Elandria's concentration narrowed down to the darkspawn in front of her as she brought her sword into play once more.

Elandria was in a tough fight with a genlock alpha when Gabriel came to her assistance and hamstrung the creature from behind. Elandria easily finished it off and took a minute to survey the scene. What she saw so horrified her she froze for a second as what she had forgotten earlier became apparent. An ogre! An ogre that Torin was trying to fight by himself!

Elandria screamed at Menarin, "Take over!" as she ran towards the ogre and Torin, Gabe at her side. Torin had engaged the ogre before it had even gotten to his end position on the line so she had quite a distance to go, dodging darkspawn as she ran. "Gabe, just like you and Alistair," she said between pants as they were racing their way to Torin. Gabriel barked in reply. As Elandria drew near, she saw the ogre pick Torin up. _NO! _she screamed internally as images of King Cailan's crushed body flashed through her mind. She immediately started casting force field to enclose Torin in a protective casing that surrounded his whole body. It would not let him move, but it would protect him from further damage. As soon as she got that spell off, she immediately followed it with a heal spell just in case Torin was injured.

The ogre, enraged that it had been denied its victim, turned its attention to Gabriel and Elandria as they neared. "Ho," Elandria yelled at Gabriel. He immediately charged the ogre on the right side getting a full bite in the ogre's leg and tearing hunks of its flesh as he kept running past the creature. "Hi," Elandria yelled as she came in from the left, swinging and aiming for the back of the creature's leg as she ran past. Gabriel came in on the left side, right behind her, trying for the same area she had just cut with her sword. The ogre made a swipe at Gabriel, but missed as the dog adroitly leapt out of the way. By this time, Elandria had swung around behind the ogre and came back up the right side scoring another hit on the area of its leg that Gabriel had torn on his first pass. The ogre, maddened with pain, swung his huge fist out and caught her a hard blow on the right thigh. Even with her fade shroud active, it was enough to knock her from her feet, but she was able to roll through the fall, get back up, and keep moving, although she was limping with the pain from the hit. "Hi," Elandria screamed to Gabriel. Gabriel was already moving in on the left to distract the ogre once again. Elandria saw the ogre get ready to make a charge at Gabriel and ran as fast as she could on her injured leg. From all the fights she had watched Zevran and Alistair fight up close with ogres, she knew she had an opportunity to end the fight quickly, but she would need Gabriel's help and lots of luck for it to work.

The ogre charged at Gabriel in its crouched position barely catching him with the blow. It knocked him over but did little damage. Gabriel was right back on his feet, barking and snarling at the ogre. Elandria yelled, "Asalto, up," at Gabe and made a rolling motion that ended with her pointing up with the hand that she wasn't carrying her sword with. Gabe immediately went into a frenzy, causing the ogre to take a step forward as it had now come out of its crouch from its charge. As soon as the ogre stepped forward, Gabe flung himself at it, lightly rebounding off the ogre's bent leg and swarming up its torso. This caused the ogre to be in a slightly crouched position with its torso leaning back as it tried to avoid Gabriel as he continued his charge right up the creature's body, deftly leaping off its shoulder to land behind it. While Gabe was occupying the ogre, Elandria had run in from the ogre's blind right side, passed the ogre, swung around on her good left leg, and was now directly in front of it. She pushed as hard as she could getting as much speed up as possible as she ran for the ogre's bent leg. She jumped and landed on it with her sword held over her head in a two-handed grip. Using the ogre's leg like a springboard, while trying to keep most of her weight on her left leg, she jumped up at its exposed midsection. She plunged her Dar'Misaan right into the ogre's belly, directly under its rib cage. Because the ogre was leaning backward and the sharpness of the edge of her sword, she was able to use her weight and gravity to slide down its front, opening a huge gash in its stomach as she did so. Elandria looked down at the ground as the contents of the ogre's abdominal cavity started raining down on her, hoping to at least keep the worst of it out of her face.

The rest of the elves back on the defensive line had mopped up the remaining hurlocks and genlocks and were running to help with the ogre. They watched helplessly as the ogre plucked Elandria from its stomach and flung her about thirty feet through the air. Her body hit the ground, bounced awkwardly, and then was still.


	15. The Calm After the Storm

When Alistair left Briana's room, he went back to his long enough to pull on a pair of boots and then headed down to the salle. He figured it would be empty at this time of night. With his temper barely under control, he could use the practice dummies for a little unarmed combat training, as well as to blow off some steam. While they were on their way through the palace heading to the salle, he asked Adair, who was in charge of the night shift of his guards, to make sure Ser Hugh saw him first thing in the morning. He also requested that the commander of Briana's guards, Ser Fraser be asked to report to him as soon as he came on duty.

Even though Alistair had been trained mostly as a shield and sword fighter as he was growing up in the Chantry, once he became king and began training with his guards, he started working on other styles as well. He had greatly improved the past two years in his unarmed combat ability. He spent about thirty minutes landing punches and scoring kicks on the helpless dummies. After that, he was tired, but he felt more composed and his anger had passed. He picked up one of the towels that were available in the salle and mopped his face and arms as he considered how he was going to handle the situation with Briana.

Ever since she had told him she was pregnant, he had been able to push away and ignore the fear he had for their child. In the time he had spent with Duncan and the other Grey Wardens before Ostagar, he hadn't even thought about having a child and so had never really asked exactly what the ramifications of the taint were in that regard. He had just assumed he would be like the rest of the Grey Wardens and would fight and die without a family. Once he became king and it became vitally important that he have a child, he had asked the Wardens for any information they had on the subject. He had received copies of what little data that had been collected about it, and he had carefully studied every piece. What was revealed had appalled him. Over the years the Warden had kept records, there were only a few cases of Grey Warden-Grey Warden relationships producing any children. When they did, the children almost invariably died after birth, as the taint was carried so strongly in both parents' blood and became blight disease in the child. A Grey Warden-untainted partner relationship carried a much higher chance of a child being produced; however, about half of these children also succumbed to the taint. The other half seemed to be perfectly normal children with no sign of the taint-induced disease.

With the heated words that Briana had thrown at him tonight, he could no longer blithely ignore these odds. When he had asked Briana to marry him, he had explained some of this to her, but she didn't know how high the chance was that their child would inherit the taint. If he was being honest with himself now, it_ terrified_ him, and he didn't know how he would handle it if their baby fell on the wrong side of that fifty percent. He was undecided as to whether he should let Briana know about this either. Perhaps it would be better to just leave her in the dark so that she wouldn't be worrying and stressing herself about it.

Alistair gave a big sigh as he tossed the towel in the used pile and left the salle. He headed back to his room for a quick bath and then bed. He wanted to be up early tomorrow so he left a wake-up call with his guards for five in the morning.

When he arose, he decided to write Briana a note as he wasn't sure either of them could carry on a civil conversation at the moment. Once he was up, dressed, and had a bite to eat, he decided to work on the note to Briana while waiting for the two men he had requested to see that morning. He hadn't gotten much past getting some fresh vellum out of his desk and sharpening his pen when Ser Fraser was knocking on his door.

"Come in, Ser Fraser," Alistair said.

"You wanted to see me, your Majesty," said Ser Fraser as he entered the room and bowed.

"Yes," said Alistair, "Have a seat." Alistair waved his hand at one of the chairs in front of the fireplace in his room, and he move from behind the desk and over to one as well.

"I have an order for you and your men," said Alistair, "And the queen isn't going to like it."

"Oh," said Ser Fraser, "And what would that order be?"

"Did you know the queen is expecting?" asked Alistair.

"I had heard that on my way in this morning. Congratulations, Sire," said Ser Firth.

"Thank you. Because of this, I do not want her going to the clinic and treating patients anymore," said Alistair.

"Ah," said Ser Fraser. "I see. I expect she wouldn't much like that."

"That, my good ser, is an understatement. She didn't take it well at all. I'm informing her of the fact that I have ordered you and her guards not to allow her to go," said Alistair. "I'm sorry to put all of you in this situation, but I cannot risk any harm coming to her or the baby."

"I understand, your Majesty," said Ser Fraser. "I will go and inform the men."

"It is just the clinic she is denied access to. She certainly is not a prisoner and can come and go as she likes except for that one place," said Alistair.

"Understood," said Ser Fraser as he stood in preparation for leaving. "Anything else, your Majesty?"

"No," said Alistair. "You may go."

"Very good, Sire," Ser Fraser said with a bow and then left the room.

Alistair got up and returned to his desk. He really hoped that Briana would make this easy on all of them and accept the fact that he was deadly serious about her not working at the clinic while she was pregnant. He started on his letter.

_Briana,_

_I have seen Ser Fraser this morning, and I have passed orders to he and his men that you are not to go to the clinic. I know this will upset you, but please give me a chance to explain all the reasons behind this before you throw this letter away in anger. _

_The first and most obvious reason is the baby. We must do everything we can to ensure this baby is born healthy, and since you are the one carrying it, unfortunately, most of that falls on you. The second reason is Eamon and I are starting to hear more and more complaints about you working with the elves from the bannorn, that you demean the crown by doing this. I don't happen to agree as I believe a king or queen should serve the people, all their people, and not be the ones served. That is why I have allowed things to continue as they are as long as I have. Now that your pregnancy is public knowledge, the demands from the banns will increase, and I happen to agree with them. The baby is too important to risk. _

_By not having you rule jointly with me (which you didn't seem to want anyway), I have tried to shield you from the worst of the restrictions that go along with being queen. You have done a wonderful job with the public duties you have had to perform, and the people seem to really love you, judging by the cheers you receive at appearances. With the birth of an heir will come even greater expectations from you. _

_I'm sorry. Maybe I should have explained all of this better before we married, but my excuse is I was new to the job as well. Believe me, I understand about having to give things up in order to fulfill expectations. When I became king, I had to let go of a lot of my hopes, dreams, and desires. I'm sorry you are now having to let go of some of yours. Someone who isn't in this position doesn't understand the restrictions that are placed upon us. Sure, it looks good from the outside, like you would have the power to be and do whatever you want, but reality isn't like that. I often feel that I am more confined and trapped than any of my subjects, but I digress. _

_Maybe once the baby is born, we can re-address this subject, but for right now, please do me a favor and don't give your guards a hard time. If anyone is to suffer your displeasure at this, it should be me. _

_I'm waiting right now for Ser Hugh to arrive. I'm going to have him work with Captain Kylon from the Denerim guards to handle the investigation into what happened with your patient last night. We will find out what happened and the perpetrators will be punished. I promise you that._

_Again, I am sorry,_

_Alistair_

Once Alistair was finished, he retrieved a taper from the fire to heat up his sealing wax, folded the letter over, and sealed it with his signet ring. He wrote Briana's name on the front and quietly opened the door to her room. He could hear her even breathing as she slept in her bed. In the dim light of what was left of her evening fire, he walked over and placed the letter on the table by her bed where she would be sure to see it when she woke up. He then left her room, quietly easing the door shut again.

* * *

Briana's first thought upon waking up was that Alistair was being a real ass. She still couldn't get over the fact that he had actually forbidden her to go to the clinic. Did he think she was a child to be ordered around? As she rolled over and stretched, her eyes fell upon the letter Alistair had left on her table. She reached over and picked it up. She slipped from the bed, wrapping her thick robe around her as it was cool in her room in the mornings. She pushed her feet into her fur-lined slippers and went over to stir up the fire, bringing the letter with her. She lit a candle and settled down in a chair in front of the fire with Alistair's letter.

After reading the first sentence, she was ready to beat the man. She couldn't believe he had actually ordered _her_ guards not to allow her to go to the clinic. After reading the second sentence, she thought maybe he knew her a little better than she thought as she had already considered throwing the letter into the fire. She kept reading. As she read with the letter in one hand, her other hand seemed to naturally fall to her stomach, and as she read the part about the baby being too important to risk she couldn't help but agree. She moved the letter aside for a moment to look down at her belly. She had only gained a few pounds so far in the pregnancy, but she could feel the swell of her uterus that would become more apparent as the baby grew in the next months. She was really looking forward to feeling her child move, and she was expecting to be able to feel it sometime within the next few weeks.

She returned her attention to the letter and read the rest of it. She was happy that at least he was going to investigate what had happened to the poor woman from the alienage. Briana didn't even know her name. The couple that had brought her in hadn't known it.

As Briana mulled over Alistair's letter, she could feel some of her anger begin to drain away. Briana knew that she wasn't a person full of fire and passion, but that she tended to be more passive. She had always assumed that was why Alistair had married her instead of one of the vivacious court beauties. She had tried hard to not demand things from him and stay quietly in the background, but to be there when he needed her. It helped that Alistair was so kind hearted; he hadn't pushed her for anything but a child. She couldn't really blame him for that. She had known coming into this marriage that was the reason he was marrying her. After all, he had told her up front he didn't love her. She wondered if he still thought about that elven woman he had been in love with. She had considered asking about her a couple of times in the past, as she had to admit she was curious about her. However, she had always thought better of it as she remembered the day he had asked her to marry him when he had said he would never talk about her again, and he hadn't, at least not to her.

As far as she could tell he had kept the promise he had made to be faithful to her, and she was grateful for that. It had been three months since Alistair had last come to her bed, but in all that time she hadn't heard a whisper that he had been seeking relief elsewhere. That kind of behavior _always_ generated gossip, as she knew from experience from incidents that had happened back at the Bann of Waking Sea. She imagined the gossip would be even worse if it were the king acting in such a way.

She had actually been a little surprised at her own behavior with Alistair last night. It must have been the adrenaline left over from saving the elf. She had felt so good when she had gotten back to the palace, like she had really done something worthwhile. Maybe that is where that anger had come from when Alistair had spoken so sharply to her and had dismissed it as unimportant. It had felt good to challenge him, at least up until the end. She really shouldn't have said that bit about him being a danger to the baby, but it sure had ended their discussion-turned-screaming-match quickly. She had been a little surprised he hadn't mentioned it in his letter.

Briana decided that she would at least write a note to Elwin so that everyone at the clinic would know she wouldn't be back. It really about broke her heart, but she wasn't going to push Alistair too much. With what happened last night and the letter this morning, she knew he meant it when he said she wouldn't be allowed at the clinic.

That evening before they went down to dinner, she knocked at the door adjoining their rooms. Somehow, even though they were married, she and Alistair had never gotten past some of the social formalities that married couples normally dispensed with. She wouldn't feel right just walking into his room, and he always knocked before entering her room as well.

"Come," he called.

She walked in and quickly stopped. He had obviously just gotten out of the bath and was still getting dressed. Alistair had his pants on but no shirt. He had his back to her, and as he reached out for his shirt and then shrugged his way into it, Briana watched as every muscle in his back rippled when he moved. She was reminded just how good looking her husband actually was.

"Did you want something?" Alistair asked without really looking at her.

Briana held out the letter she had written to Elwin. "I wrote this note to let them know at the clinic that I wouldn't be back. Do you want it?" she asked.

"No," said Alistair as he sat down on the edge of his bed to put on his socks and boots. "Do you want a page to take it or do you want to deliver it yourself?" he asked, still not looking at her.

"A page is fine. I've said everything I need to in the letter itself," said Briana.

"Okay then. Go ahead and have it delivered whenever you are ready," said Alistair. "Did you want to go down to dinner together or not? I'm sure there will be many people hoping to see you and give you their congratulations. I went through that last night."

"Alistair, do you want to talk about.." she started to say.

Alistair broke in, "No, not really, Briana. Let's just go down to dinner if you are going with me. They will be waiting for us."

Briana walked down to dinner at Alistair's side with her hand through his arm as usual. What wasn't usual was the yawning chasm that seemed be between them. They had never been exceptionally close, but they had gotten along fairly well recently. Briana wasn't sure how to cross the gap if he wasn't willing to meet her halfway.

* * *

The next few weeks were strange. Alistair would talk to her, but it was like he didn't see her. He would often be looking away from her or anywhere but into her eyes as he spoke to her. When she tried to ask him about it, he would deny anything was wrong. This continued until one night, about a month after their fight, when she had come running into his room without even knocking as he was working at his desk. Alistair had looked up in alarm.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Briana had both hands on her belly and a big smile on her face. "Nothing's wrong," she said. "I just felt the baby move," she said.

Alistair actually looked at her for the first time in weeks. "Really?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. "Give me your hand."

Alistair rose from the desk, came over to her, and gave her his hand. She placed his fingers where she wanted them on her stomach. "It was right about there," she said. She pressed her fingers against his so they were putting pressure against her belly. "Be patient," she said. They stood there for a few minutes, but Alistair couldn't feel anything.

"Here," he said. "Come and sit down." He led her to the bed and pushed her gently down. He got down on his knees between her legs and put his hand back on her belly. "Right here?" he asked.

She adjusted his fingers a little bit and said, "Put a little pressure against me and see if the baby will protest by kicking." While they waited, she added, "I thought I felt the baby moving the past few days, but I wasn't positive. I didn't want to say anything until I was sure. There," she said. "Did you feel that?"

"That little flutter?" asked Alistair.

"That little flutter was your child complaining about Father pressing against it," said Briana with a smile.

"Wow," said Alistair. As he was kneeling on the floor looking up at her, he realized how beautiful she appeared to him with her long hair down around her and her dark eyes shining with happiness. He watched her continue to gently probe her belly, and suddenly he realized how erotic he found it that she was swelling with _his_ child. Without even thinking about it, he leaned forward and kissed her. She responded instantly, softening and leaning into his kiss until he suddenly pulled away from her.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't think."

Briana put her hand on the side of his neck. "It's fine, Alistair. I'm not that far along. We may have to adjust our position, but it won't hurt the baby for us to be together. Junior still has plenty of growing to do yet."

"Junior, huh?" said Alistair. "We are going to have to start thinking about names."

"Yes, we are," she said, "But not now." She reached out and pulled him down to the bed beside her.

For the first time since his wedding, Alistair made love to his wife in his own bed and without thoughts of Lanie. As he lay awake afterwards, he realized the time had come for him to put away his fruitless yearnings for the past. He had a wife and a child on the way, and he needed to start thinking about them and the future. When he dropped off to sleep later that night, Briana was spooned against his chest with his hand protectively cradling her expanding belly.

_

* * *

_

_A.N.: As always, big thanks to Melismo, especially for the chapter title! _


	16. Battle Aftermath

When Elandria opened her eyes, the first person she saw was Rohanie, who was in the process of casting yet another heal spell on her. Her head was throbbing, and Rohanie was doing this funny wavering thing.

"Elandria!" called Torin loudly, from her other side.

Elandria shut her eyes and quickly cast her own healing spell with emphasis on her head. Once that was done, she did a mental run through of all her body parts moving them and feeling where the worst damage seemed to be.

"Elandria, are you all right?" Torin asked.

"Just give me a minute," she said softly. She sent another heal spell tingling through her body, especially to her right hip. She must have landed on that. Even with her healing magic, she was going to feel that tomorrow and probably end up with an ugly bruise. As she wasn't feeling too badly now, she opened her eyes. The world seemed to stay firmly in place, so she sat up.

"Be careful," said Rohanie, "Don't try to move too fast."

"I'm fine," said Elandria. "I've had worse." She stood up and then realized that quite a few members of the camp were surrounding her. _How embarrassing. Way to fall on my ass in the middle of a fight. Big tough Grey Warden I am. _She reached out with her Warden senses but didn't detect any more darkspawn. "Is everybody okay?" she asked.

Torin was still pasted to her side. "Everybody but you," he said. "There are a couple of minor injuries, but nobody was killed."

"Good," said Elandria. "Gabriel," she called.

Gabe worked his way in through the crowd to her, wagging his tail.

"Thanks, boy," she said ruffling him on the sides of his head and checking him over for any injuries. "I'd have been toast without you."

Gabe agreed with a sharp bark.

Elandria turned on Torin, "Just what did you think you were doing? Taking on an ogre by yourself?"

The young man flushed. "I was trying to keep it from getting closer to camp. I knew you would be coming as soon as you saw it," he said.

"You and I are having a discussion about following orders and team work when we get back to our aravels," Elandria said sternly.

"Where's Menarin?" Elandria asked.

"Here I am," said Menarin pushing his way to Torin's side.

"I assume you all handled the rest of the darkspawn," Elandria said. "Any problems?"

"No," he said. "The worst was over by the time you left the line. The men have started on hauling the corpses away. Although what we are going to do with the ogre, I'm not sure."

"Stack all the corpses up around it, and then burn them all," suggested Elandria. "If we have to, we can move camp."

Now that it was obvious that Elandria was up and fine, the rest of the crowd started moving off to get back to repairing the damage to the camp, which was mostly hauling away darkspawn bodies and cleaning up the area the noncombatants had been in.

As Elandria went looking for Vanora and Kellin, many of the elves came up to thank her. She was uncomfortable with this because she had the feeling the only reason the darkspawn had attacked at all was because they had sensed her in the camp. However, she politely told them they were most welcome and would then continue on. She finally found Vanora and Kellin on the other side of camp where all the young children had been gathered to keep them out of the way while the cleanup progressed.

"Mamae," came Kellin's voice as he ran to her. When he reached her, he threw his arms around her leg, hugging it tight.

"Kellin," Elandria said as she leaned down and picked up the boy hugging him to her. "Have you been a good boy for Vanora?"

"Yes, Mamae," said Kellin.

"Let's find Vanora and go home," she said.

* * *

The next day, Elandria had a visitor at her aravel. She had given Gabriel a bath that morning and ended almost as wet as he was, so she had taken one herself and washed her hair. She was lying outside the aravel on a blanket with Gabe, enjoying the sunshine on her skin and letting it dry her hair, when Menarin approached from the direction of camp.

"Aneth ara, Warden," said Menarin.

"Aneth ara, Menarin," she said without opening her eyes. "You can call me Elandria, after all we've fought together." He didn't say anything so after a little bit, she opened her eyes to see him standing over her. "Sit down, Menarin. Don't tower over me."

"I have something to say," he said.

"Well, go ahead," Elandria replied.

"I've come to apologize. I was wrong about you. I shouldn't have encouraged the younger hunters in abusing you," he said.

"You're right, you shouldn't have," said Elandria. "But I accept your apology. Now, would you sit down please? You're blocking my sun."

Menarin sat down on the blanket beside her. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Okay," said Elandria as she shut her eyes again.

"Why didn't you use your magic on us when we were harassing you? After seeing you yesterday, you could have stopped us-or me rather-that very first day at hunter training," he said.

Elandria rolled her head to the side and looked at him. "That's a long story, sure you want to hear it?"

"Yes, I do," he said.

She began, "I was born in the alienage in Denerim. It's a different life from what you Dalish live. It's much harsher. Many elves are crowded into a small area and are kept closed in behind gates and walls. The alienage is supposedly protected by the human guards, but it is more the humans are trying to control the elves. I imagine my life was the same as most other children in the alienage until the year I was six. That particular year, the harvest was poor and food was scarce. There were many food riots. I was at one with my mother, and things got out of hand. There wasn't any food again that day, and people were starving. The crowd got unruly and started threatening the guards demanding more food. The guards started beating back the crowd. One of them grabbed my mother by her arm and slapped her. I watched her swing backwards away from him with the force of the blow, but he still had hold of her arm. He jerked her back in front of him and slapped her again. When he pulled her back in front of him once again and went to slap her a third time, his hand was frozen solid by a sheet of ice. The other guards figured out where the ice came from, and they took me away from her. After a beating to 'teach the little knife-ear some respect,' I was handed over to the templars.

"The templars took me to the tower. The tower is both a refuge for a mage, as well as a prison. Until I left the tower at nineteen to join the Wardens, I hadn't been out of it since I was six. Once at the tower, especially since I was so much younger than the other apprentices, I began with basic lessons in reading, writing, and some of the Chantry's dogma about magic before beginning my arcane studies. Those lessons were mostly taught by the Chantry's priests. They taught that magic was a curse, that a mage is only one step from being an abomination, and that only the templars prevent wholesale disaster by the mages. The templars watched us unceasingly to make certain we weren't harboring a demon or practicing blood magic. Some of them were decent enough men, but a lot of them weren't. I learned quickly how to measure them up and to stay out of a bad one's way. The Chantry taught us never to turn our magic against another person, that it was against the Maker's will to do so. See this scar here?" Elandria asked and showed him a long scar down her left arm.

Menarin nodded and said, "Yes."

"I acquired that in the Korcari Wilds. It's from the first darkspawn I ever fought. I froze up. I couldn't cast my spell. Luckily, the Grey Warden who was with us engaged it or it might have done worse to me. Once I saw him fighting and in danger, only then did I cast my first spell at a living creature. Just a darkspawn, I know, but still a living creature. It was easier after that, but I still hate to kill with my magic. I like to think of it as a gift instead of the curse that we were taught. Nothing makes me feel better than when I use my magic for something positive; healing someone, saving a friend in a fight, or even just starting a fire quickly. Using it to threaten people with, well, I've done it before, but it's never pleasant.

"Anyway, that's probably more information than you wanted, but it is that early training at the tower that taught me to be restrained in how I use my magic." she said as she finished her story.

"What happened to your mother?" asked Menarin.

Elandria was quiet for so long he didn't think she was going to answer. "I was told that she was taken from the alienage by some human males to entertain at one of their parties. Evidently, she was never seen in the alienage again. I can only assume that she was killed or sold into slavery."

"I'm sorry," said Menarin.

"Thank you," said Elandria. "But it happened a long time ago. It almost seems like another life when I think about it."

"What I don't understand is that you have a human child," said Menarin. "I would think you would hate every shem you see."

"Life isn't that simple, Menarin," said Elandria. "People, whether elven or human, aren't all good or evil, but usually a mixture of both. I can't say all elves are good and all humans are bad. I've done things that I'm not proud of because at the time I thought I had to. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe so. Humans are the same way. Before the Blight ended, our group was looking for evidence against the regent that we could bring to the Landsmeet to help end the civil war. We were given a lead that something was happening inside the alienage in Denerim. We went in there, and you know what we found?" she asked.

"No, what?" asked Menarin.

"The elves from the alienage were being sold as slaves to Tevinter. We put a stop to it, but there were elves in the slaver's crew working with the humans. I had humans with me who helped stop the elves that were selling other elves. So, it isn't always a matter of them versus us, Menarin. Zevran, the elf who traveled with me before, do you know how I met him?"

"No," said Menarin.

"He is an assassin. He kills people for money, and he was hired to kill Alistair and me." _There Kaneath, I said his name_. "He had set a trap for us with a group of assassins. We defeated them, and I allowed Zevran to join us. The others thought I was crazy, but I never regretted it. He became my best friend. I miss him more than I can tell you," said Elandria. "As for Kellin's father, I love-I loved him very much, and I know he loved me, at least for a little while.

Menarin said, "You haven't had an easy life, have you?"

She shrugged a shoulder. "It's the only life I know," she answered.

"Can I ask you a favor?" said Menarin.

"What is it?" Elandria asked.

"I've never seen anybody fight the way you do. The way you combine your magic and sword work and then when you were fighting with your dog. Can you help teach the hunters how to work together?" he asked.

"Well, I can't claim credit for Gabe and his fighting skills. I just used what he already knew. He and Alistair used to work together a lot in fights, and Alistair was the one who came up with the commands. When we first started fighting darkspawn, nobody knew if they understood what we were saying or not, so he didn't want to use common Ferelden words they might know. Alistair used 'hi' meaning for Gabe to attack to the left and 'ho' for the right. Simple, I know, but it works. Gabe will also follow 'Asalto up or down' for a high or low attack," said Elandria. "Being able to direct Gabriel like that helped us in many fights. Didn't it, boy?"

Gabriel moved his head to look at her and wagged his tail.

"I'm not sure how much help I will be with the hunters because my experience is mostly limited to fighting darkspawn or surprise attacks by bandits, but I would be willing to help you if I could," said Elandria.

After Menarin left, Elandria continued to sit outside for a bit thinking of their conversation. She was glad that they had seemed to bury the hatchet, and she wouldn't have to hear any more insults from the hunters. To be honest, it had cost her more than she wanted to admit to ignore the insults, and she was glad she wouldn't have to listen to them anymore.

She was surprised how easy it had been for her to mention Alistair in the conversation with Menarin. When she had first come to the clan, just thinking his name had caused all kinds of inner turmoil. Well, maybe this was a sign she was accepting the fact that he was out of her life. She had been thinking more and more about what Kaneath had said about telling Alistair about Kellin, and perhaps he was right. After all, she couldn't hide here in the forest with her son forever. Even though Kellin was a bastard, he still was a prince of Ferelden by blood and deserved all that position entailed. The biggest thing holding her back was that if Alistair knew about Kellin, he would probably want him in Denerim, as he had no other children. Elandria wasn't sure how she felt about that because it would most probably entail separation of her and Kellin. If she was going back to the Grey Wardens though, how fair was that kind of roving life to Kellin, especially given the life his father could provide for him?

Even if she was ready to tell Alistair about Kellin, she wasn't sure what actually seeing him would be like. Would it stir up all the old feelings again? She would hate to be back emotionally to the same place she had been years before when he had initially left her. Although _if_ she did decide to tell Alistair and saw him, she would be going in knowing there was no hope for them to be together as he was married. Surely, that would armor her heart against him, at least she hoped so.

* * *

_A. N.: Thanks again to melismo, for making another chapter better than when I sent it to you. _


	17. The Beginning of the End

_A.N.: As always, thanks to my awesome beta Melismo, who manages to keep all my crazy tenses straight. _

* * *

Alistair was sitting alone in a small room off of one of the audience chambers. He had finished his last audience for the day, and he was waiting for news about the trial of the group of young men who had been behind the attack on a series of female elves from the alienage. Captain Kylon and Ser Hugh had worked hard on the investigation into the elf that Briana had ministered to that last night she was at the clinic. It had rapidly become an even uglier story as there were several other victims as the weeks went by. Finally, the two men in charge of the investigation had caught a lucky break and one of the victims had agreed to identify the culprits. It turns out it was a ring of local townsmen's sons. These supposed solid citizens had been preying on a series of elven women that they had managed to catch alone while the women were in town. They would take them to one of their family's warehouses and rape them. The more of a fight the women put up, the worse the young men would beat them. They would then threaten them and their families so the women would be afraid to report them. After all, who was going to believe an elven woman crying rape over a respected man of the town? Alistair felt sick to his stomach just thinking about it.

Alistair looked down at the report he was supposed to be studying, but his heart just wasn't in it. He leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the desk. At least, he didn't have to have guards in the room with him twenty-four hours a day anymore. For the first year he had been king, it had been all he could do to keep them out of his bedroom while he was sleeping. Over the years, the guard detail had been allowed to relax some security procedures as it became apparent that the king could defend himself and there had been no serious threats to his personal safety since he was crowned.

Alistair stared off into the space above the door as his mind turned once again to the subject he wished he could stop thinking about, the baby and the taint. He had been driving himself insane with worrying about it, and it was made worse because he had to hide his worry from Briana. Ever since the night he had first felt the baby move, he and Briana had gotten closer, and that made it even more difficult to hide his concern. He wasn't sure he would make it through these last two months of her pregnancy without her finding out. The worry seemed to get worse with every day that passed.

"Your Majesty," said Chancellor Eamon as he came in the door, "I wanted to ask you about something." Eamon stopped what he was saying as he got a good look at his king. He shut the door firmly behind him to block any listening ears. "Alistair, are you all right?" he asked.

"I'm fine, Eamon," Alistair said as he schooled his expression back to normal, brought his feet down off the desk, and sat up in his chair.

Eamon crossed his arms while standing in front of the desk and just looked at him, "Oh really," he said in a voice that left no doubt he didn't believe Alistair. Eamon continued to just look at Alistair, and Alistair held his gaze for a few minutes.

Finally, Alistair gave a sigh and said, "All right, you win. I'm worried about the baby."

"Why?" Eamon asked. "Do you have a specific reason to worry?"

"Unfortunately, I do," said Alistair. "Some time ago, even before I married Briana actually, I sent to the Grey Wardens for any information they had pertaining to Wardens having children. The news wasn't good," he said.

Alistair got up from behind his desk, ran his hand through his hair, and started pacing the room. Eamon propped one hip on the desk still with his arms crossed while he watched Alistair pace.

"Evidently, there is a fifty percent chance that the child of a Warden will inherit the taint and develop blight disease shortly after birth," said Alistair.

"Fifty percent?" said Eamon. "I didn't realize that. I knew offspring were difficult for a Warden to produce, but I never imagined it was anything like this. I thought the difficulty was in conceiving."

"It's even worse if it is two Wardens together, so I guess I should be grateful that Briana doesn't carry the taint," said Alistair. "I wasn't too worried at first, but these last three months, it has really begun to weigh on my mind, especially as the birth draws near."

"Why haven't you sent for one of the mages from the tower?" asked Eamon.

"What good would that do?" asked Alistair.

"I know that mages who specialize in healing can determine diseases and various other things about a person's health by magic. I imagine they can probably do something about evaluating a baby in the womb," said Eamon. "We could ask anyway. I'm sure the tower wouldn't ignore such a request from the palace."

"I never thought of that," said Alistair.

"Do you want me to write a formal request and have it sent to First Enchanter Irving today?" asked Eamon.

"Yes," said Alistair. "But do it quietly and have it sent by special messenger. Also, Briana doesn't know anything about this. I haven't wanted to worry her, so please don't say anything to her. I'll tackle the subject with her after we hear back from the tower, if they do decide to send someone."

"Okay, I'll go do that now," said Eamon and he turned to leave the room.

"Eamon," Alistair said. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

"I just wish you had said something earlier instead of worrying yourself. We could have done this before," said Eamon.

Once Eamon left the room, Alistair returned to work on various matters he needed to attend to. Finally, there was a knock on the door.

"Your Majesty," a familiar voice called out. "I have news."

"Come in, Hugh," said Alistair as Ser Hugh came through the door and saluted his king. "Tell me what happened."

"Goodman Campbell's son, who was the ringleader, received a sentence of seven years hard labor working on the city crews. The other two young men received five years, your Majesty" said Ser Hugh.

Alistair sat back in disgust, "Those sentences would have been twice as long if it had been human women they had attacked."

"Very true, Sire. However, I overheard in the crowd afterwards that some people thought the sentence was too steep since it was 'only knife-ears' who were attacked," said Ser Hugh.

"That's an opinion I'm trying to change. We all eat, sleep, and drink the same way. We all want a better life for our children. Why can't people see that humans, elves, and dwarves are more alike than not?" asked Alistair in disgust. "Regardless, thanks for bringing me the news, Hugh. I appreciate it."

"Of course, your Majesty," said Ser Hugh, and he bowed and left the room.

Alistair, too, proceeded to gather his things and leave the room because he had promised Briana he would let her know the results of the trial as soon as he found out what they were. She was as bitterly disappointed as he was in the outcome.

* * *

Alistair had a nasty surprise in store for him two days after the trial. Goodman Campbell owned many of the shops in the marketplace that he leased to other merchants and thus, while not a noble, was a powerful man in Denerim. He had requested an audience with the king. Eamon felt it was better to hear him out than deny him the audience. Alistair agreed but told Eamon he would see him in the largest and most formal chamber, hoping it would make the man uncomfortable.

Alistair was sitting on his throne, actually wearing his crown instead of his normal coronet, when Goodman Campbell was led forward for his audience. Alistair wanted all the advantages he could get when it came to dealing with the man. Goodman Campbell halted where the clerk indicated and made his bow to the king.

Chancellor Eamon was at the foot of Alistair's throne. "What petition do you have to bring before this court?" he asked formally.

"I seek redress from the king," said Goodman Campbell.

"On what matter?" asked Eamon.

"My son was recently sentenced to seven years hard labor on the city work crews for supposedly having intercourse with elven woman," said Goodman Campbell. "I seek to have that sentence reduced."

Even though they had agreed that Eamon would handle Goodman Campbell, Alistair just couldn't let it pass. "Why?" he asked. "Why should I change the judge's decision?"

"My son is a young man, still driven by the desires of youth, your Majesty" said Goodman Campbell. "He may have gotten a little rough with them, but Sire, you know how elven women are. They are always asking for it."

Alistair's blood did a slow boil. Even though he had been trying hard not to think of her the past months, he couldn't help a mental flash of Lanie beaten and bruised, as if she had been caught by the group of young men. He managed, somehow, to keep his voice level. "I heard it was somewhat worse than that, Goodman Campbell. I understand at least one of the women almost died from her injuries."

"I would be most happy to pay for the care she received, your Majesty. That's it. He could pay a fine to the women, and of course, to the court," said Goodman Campbell with a smile, as if he had it all worked out.

"No," Alistair said in a firm voice. "If I was in the habit of overturning judges sentencing, I would increase his time, not shorten it or waive it. What he and his friends did to those women disgusts me. Just because a woman is physically smaller and has pointed ears doesn't make her property for whatever man wants to use her or abuse her. Would you be protesting this sentence if the women involved had been human, or would you be thanking the Maker the sentence was so light? You don't have to answer that. I already know the answer." Alistair finished.

"B-but, your Majesty," stammered Goodman Campbell, "Please consider-."

"Petition denied," said Alistair. "Chancellor Eamon, next petitioner."

"Yes, your Majesty," said Eamon as he motioned for a clerk to shepherd Goodman Campbell away.

* * *

Alistair had finally received an answer from the tower. They were sending one of their best healers to come check on the queen and her unborn child. He just had to break the news to Briana. He decided to tackle the subject at breakfast. Unlike him, she seemed to wake up in a sunny mood in the mornings. "Briana, I've done something you may think is unnecessary."

"What is that, dear?" she asked, smiling fondly at him.

"A mage is coming from the tower to examine you and the baby at my request," said Alistair.

"Why?" asked Briana in surprise. "We are both fine. The baby is moving, and I feel wonderful."

"I know," said Alistair. "Let's just chalk it up to first-time father syndrome, shall we?" he asked.

"I really don't think it is necessary, but if it would make you feel better, then fine, I'll let your mage have a look at me," she said.

By the time messages had been taken back and forth and the mage had made the trip to Denerim, Briana was drawing close to the end of her pregnancy and only had a few weeks left before her labor should commence. Alistair had been able to keep his worry in check by focusing on the fact that hopefully soon he would have an answer to his question.

Alistair was overjoyed when the mage in question turned out to be Wynne. When she and Zevran had left, she had traveled for awhile with Zev, but once they had parted ways, she quickly discovered that traveling by yourself in a foreign country isn't that much fun and had returned to the tower. When the chancellor's letter had arrived, she had informed Irving that, of course, she was coming. The First Enchanter knew better than to try to argue with the force of nature that was Wynne and had agreed.

Once they had greeted one another and were caught up on what had been happening in each other's lives since Wynne had left court, Alistair pulled her into one of his studies to talk with her alone.

"Wynne, how much do you know about blight disease?" asked Alistair.

"I know it is incurable," said Wynne. "Most people die from it. Those that don't are never right again. You remember Ruck, who we met in the Deep Roads. He had blight disease and managed to survive for years, poor soul. I still feel for his mother."

"Is there any way you can check and see if the baby is carrying the taint?" asked Alistair.

"Alistair! Why would you think that?" asked Wynne.

"I have received some records from the Grey Wardens, and it isn't only conception problems with Wardens having children. There is also an issue of the baby inheriting the taint," he answered.

"Oh no, Alistair," said Wynne. "How horrible."

"That's why I asked for a mage. I've been driving myself crazy with this, and I want-no need-to know for sure," Alistair said. "Can you do it?"

"I can try," said Wynne. "If the queen agrees, I can do a check on the baby, but I would need her cooperation. Is your wife feeling the baby move?"

"Yes," said Alistair. "The baby is moving regularly."

"Well, that's encouraging," said Wynne.

"One thing, Wynne," said Alistair. "Briana doesn't know anything about this. She knows there is a chance of the baby having the taint because I told her that when I asked her to marry me. We haven't even discussed it ourselves other than that, and I don't want her to have any extra stress."

"Do you think keeping her in the dark is the right thing to do, Alistair?" asked Wynne. "It doesn't seem very healthy for your relationship."

"Yes," said Alistair. "I'm hoping the baby is fine, and then it won't matter, will it?"

"Very well. It shall be as you say. When do you want me to do this?" asked Wynne.

"As soon as possible," said Alistair. "Let's go find Briana now."

Alistair and Wynne finally tracked Briana down in the library where she was studying some manuscripts on healing burns.

"Briana," Alistair said as they came in the room. "I have a wonderful surprise. Do you remember Wynne? You met her right after the wedding, remember?"

"Of course," said Briana with a smile as she ungainly rose to her feet. "How are you?" she asked.

Wynne dropped a small curtsey and replied, "Your Majesty, I'm honored you remember me."

"Alistair doesn't introduce many people as his friends, so of course I remembered you," said Briana.

"Wynne is here to check on you and the baby," Alistair said.

"I guess you want to do that now," said Briana with a smile at him.

"Humor me," said Alistair.

"What do you need me to do?" Briana asked Wynne.

"It would be best for you to be lying down. I will need to put my hands on your stomach to check the baby, skin to skin contact," said Wynne.

"Let's go to my bedchamber then," said Briana.

They all trooped off to Briana's chamber. Wynne insisted that Alistair not be in the room, claiming he would interfere with her concentration. He reluctantly went to wait in his own room while Briana was undressed and assisted into her bed by Glenda, her maid.

"Now, your Majesty, what I'm going to do is put my hands on your stomach. I will then cast a spell that will allow me to sink part of my consciousness into your body and then into your child. You shouldn't feel a thing," said Wynne reassuringly. "If you would just remain quiet so I can concentrate, it shouldn't take too long."

"That's fine, Wynne," said Briana. "And please call me Briana. I know you don't stand on formality with Alistair."

"Thank you, Briana," said Wynne as she placed her hands on her stomach. Wynne stood still for many minutes after this as she cast her spell and concentrated on what she could detect within Briana's body. Finally, she broke the spell and returned herself fully to her own body.

"There, that wasn't too bad, was it?" asked Wynne.

"What did you find?" asked Briana.

"Now, don't you worry, I didn't find anything wrong. Everything seemed just fine," said Wynne with a smile. "I'll just join Alistair while you get dressed."

Wynne knocked on the door to Alistair's adjoining suite, which was hurriedly answered, and she was asked to come in.

"Well?" asked Alistair anxiously.

Wynne came into the room and sat down in one of the chairs in front of his fireplace. "Sit down, Alistair," she said.

"Oh no," he said with a stricken look on his face. "It's bad, isn't it?"

"Not necessarily. I don't really have anything definitive to tell you," she said. "I couldn't feel any signs of the taint like what you carry in your body. I've monitored quite a few babies in my time. This one feels different to me, but I can't place why," Wynne continued. "The heart beat seems a bit slow. Everything else seems fine, and the child is definitely moving. I just can't put my finger on what is different."

"It's good that you don't detect any taint, though," said Alistair.

"Yes, I would say so," said Wynne. "I'm sorry, Alistair, but I think you are just going to have to wait for the birth. It won't be long now. The baby is close to being born, no more than a few weeks."

"Will you stay for the birth?" asked Alistair. "I'd really feel better if you were here."

"Of course," said Wynne. "I didn't have any intentions of leaving before then anyway."

* * *

And so time passed. Alistair tried to quit his worrying since Wynne had found no sign of the taint in the baby, Wynne settled into the palace, and Briana got bigger. Briana was ready for the baby to be born. She was tired of being so large and unwieldy. She was pretty much limited to the palace as she was uncomfortable if on her feet for extended periods of time. Since she was bored with very little to do, Alistair had suggested that the chancellor's wife come have lunch with her one day. Isolde had been visiting at Redcliffe Castle and also at the tower to see her son and had just returned to the palace. Briana hadn't seen her in sometime and so agreed.

By the time Isolde left after their lunch together, Briana was infuriated with Alistair. Things had been fine until Isolde had said, "I bet you are glad that things worked out so well with the mage and the taint issue."

"Wait, Isolde," Briana had replied. "I don't understand what you meant by that."

"I just meant that you must be so relieved that the mage found no sign of taint in your baby, especially since there was such a high likelihood," Isolde had said. "Eamon says Alistair is much relieved."

Briana hadn't questioned Isolde anymore because she didn't want to admit she didn't know what Isolde was talking about. Now that Isolde was gone, her mind was whirling as she tried to make sense of what Isolde had told her. Why was Alistair talking about their baby to Eamon instead of to her? And why hadn't he told her if something was bothering him? She thought they had been getting along so well lately.

Briana ended up having to wait to see Alistair. He had gone to Fort Drakon for the day and wasn't due back to the palace for several more hours. She continued to seethe while waiting for him to arrive. She spent most of the afternoon in her room pacing. Her lower back was bothering her much of the day, and she was having some more twinges of false contractions.

Later, she went from her room to Alistair's so she could catch him as soon as he returned to his suite. She was pacing the floor in front of the fireplace when he entered and had worked herself into quite a state. When he came in through the door, she whirled to face him.

"Briana," Alistair started in surprise at seeing her waiting for him.

She didn't give him a chance to say anything else as she cut in, "By the Maker, what is going on here, Alistair? Tell me about the taint and the baby, and most of all tell me why I'm hearing it from Isolde of all people instead of from YOU?" By the end of this, she was screaming at him.

Alistair was shocked as he had never seen his calm, easygoing wife in such a state. "Now Briana, just calm down. Don't get yourself so worked up."

"Worked up? Worked up! You haven't seen worked up yet!" Briana replied forcefully.

Alistair went over to her and tried to get her to sit down, but she wasn't having any of it.

"Well, are you going to answer my questions, or should I assume you think so little of me that you can't be honest even now?" Briana said cuttingly.

Since Briana wouldn't sit down, Alistair thought maybe she might calm down a little if he sat, so he plopped himself down on the edge of the bed. "Okay, Briana," he said in the most even voice he could manage. "I'll tell you what you want to know. Just come sit down here beside me and we'll talk."

"I can hear you from where I am," said Briana as she realized if she went near him his presence would probably lull her, and he would tell her exactly what she wanted to hear. She wanted-no, deserved-to be treated like an adult, not some adolescent child. She was his _queen_, for Maker's sake. "Start talking."

Alistair gave a big sigh as he realized she wasn't willing to let him calm her yet. "What exactly do you want to know?" he asked.

"I want to know what Isolde was talking about with _your_ mage friend and her little examination. What is the real story behind that? Obviously, it is more than the 'little check' you told me it was," she said.

"Remember when I asked you to marry me and I told you there was the possibility that any children I had could inherit the taint and develop blight disease?" said Alistair.

"Yes," said Briana.

"What I didn't tell you that day is how high the likelihood is of that happening," said Alistair.

"How high?" she asked suspiciously.

"Fifty percent," he said.

A look of horror crossed her face as she cradled her stomach, "What? No! That can't be right," Briana said.

"That's the number I received from the Wardens when I asked for information on the subject. The good news is Wynne couldn't detect any sign of the taint when she examined you. The reason I didn't tell you before is because I was just trying to spare you from worry," he said.

"Spare me from worry?" said Briana disbelievingly. "I suppose after the baby is born I'm not supposed to notice if our child does develop this, this curse?" She continued quieter now as the hurt continued to seep through her, "I can't believe you didn't tell me, Alistair. I can't believe you kept all this inside the past few months, and I _never knew_ anything was wrong. Half the damn palace knew about this, but you didn't think enough of me to let me in on the secret. I thought our relationship was improving and we were getting closer, but it was all just wishful thinking." She felt as if the new beginning she and Alistair had been working on the last few months was crashing down around her as it was all built on lies and omissions of truth.

"No, Briana," he said. "That's not true. I just wanted to protect you."

"Alistair," she said sadly. "I'm your wife. We are supposed to be partners and help each other, but you've never viewed me as your equal. You've always kept me at a distance and never let me in to see the real you. Why is it so hard for you to share things with me? I really thought these past months…" she trailed off as she realized that right now she really didn't want to tell him what she had thought.

Alistair said almost helplessly, "I'm trying, Briana. I really am."

"Try harder, Alistair. What you are doing isn't working. There is a wall between us that I've tried and tried to get past, but I can't if you won't let me. You know what is really sad is that I hardly know you any better than I did almost three years ago when we first married."

"That's not true," he said.

"Isn't it?" she asked. "That's how I feel." Briana was quiet after this, hoping that maybe, just maybe she had finally gotten through to Alistair. However, she was doomed to disappointment as Alistair remained quiet. Finally, with a sound of disgust, Briana turned to leave the room when she felt a gush of fluid between her legs.

She said very calmly, "You need to get the healers, Alistair. My water just broke."


	18. Planning for the Future

_AN: As always, thanks to Melismo. _

_More elvish translations: _

_vallaslin - blood writing __The art of tattooing adopted by some elves to more prominently (and some might say belligerently) display their worship of the traditional elven pantheon. _

_Lenayath - No, you didn't miss anything in the game. I made this up. It's explained below. (Pronunciation is Le-nay-ath.) _

* * *

It was about three weeks after the darkspawn attack, and Kaneath had been trying to catch Elandria alone for the past week. Fate seemed to conspire against him as every time he thought he could catch her, someone else would make an appearance. She had been busy helping Menarin with training the hunters, and he seemed to be constantly underfoot as they were assessing who would make the best teams and devising training exercises. She was also working with the apprentices since Lanaya was still in Denerim. Finally, in desperation, he decided to just ask to speak with her alone. That night after their evening meal, they were all sitting around the fire in front of his and Torin's aravel.

"May I speak to you privately, Elandria?" asked Kaneath.

"Of course," she said.

Torin instantly jumped up and said he was going into the main camp to see what some of his friends were doing. Vanora took Kellin to put him to bed for the night after he had given everyone the required good night hug and kiss. "I'll be in the aravel if you need me," said Vanora.

Elandria threw a couple more pieces of wood on the fire and continued to poke at it while waiting to hear what Kaneath had to say. As he remained silent, she finally asked, "What's on your mind, Kaneath?"

"I've been trying to catch you alone to speak with you, and now that I have you, I'm not sure how to start," he said.

"You've never had any trouble talking to me before. Just say what is on your mind," she replied.

"I've noticed that you have been different these past few weeks. Is everything all right with you?" he asked.

Elandria shook her head with a small smile, "Only you, Kaneath. Not much gets past you, does it?"

Kaneath just smiled at her and waited for her to continue.

"You're right. I have been different since the attack. I feel like I almost have the old me back. The fight that night-I don't know how to describe it. Fighting against the darkspawn again woke me up, almost like jolted, and made me realize what an idyllic life I've been living here. Battling the darkspawn is something I do well, and I had forgotten that in all this time of not having to fight for my life almost every day," she said. "Some of that has to do with you. I owe you a huge debt for all the times you listened to me and helped me put things in perspective. I'd probably still be all mixed up inside without you. When I arrived here over two years ago, I didn't realize just how broken I was, so, thank you. I don't know what else to say, to tell you how much you helped me. Our talks together have shown me that I can move on from what has happened in the past, if I let myself."

"I didn't do anything, Elandria. I just listened," he said.

"Well, whatever you did, it helped me," she said. "I've also been thinking about what you said about Kellin and his father. Maybe you are right and the time has come for Alistair to know about Kellin. I haven't totally made up my mind about it, but I have been thinking about it, as I promised. I'm planning on discussing it with Lanaya when she gets back. She's been in Denerim. She should have some idea about the situation there and when would be a good time."

"That's a good idea," said Kaneath. They were both quiet for a bit as the fire continued to flicker. "I have something else I wanted to talk to you about."

"Okay," said Elandria. "Go ahead."

"It's Torin," said Kaneath.

"Torin?" Elandria asked questioningly. "Is something wrong?"

"Did you know he will soon be getting his vallaslin?" asked Kaneath.

"No," said Elandria. "I didn't realize that."

"Yes," said Kaneath. "He's eighteen now. Once he goes through the rite, he will be an adult and able to make his own decisions."

"That has to be hard for you," said Elandria.

"Yes and no," said Kaneath. "I'm very proud of him. It hasn't been easy raising him by myself since his mother died, but I think she would be happy with how he has turned out."

"He is certainly a fine young man," said Elandria. "I think of him almost as a little brother, and he is certainly good with Kellin."

"Have you ever heard of something called the Lenayath?" asked Kaneath.

"No," said Elandria. "What is it?"

"It's a tradition of our people. It's very old and dates back to the Dales. It was often performed when one person had saved another person's life. It is a swearing of an oath of fealty along with a binding ceremony performed by a keeper. It's an obligation that lasts until one of the two is dead, either the person swearing the oath or the one accepting it," he explained.

"Okay," Elandria said. "What does this have to do with me?"

"Torin is talking about swearing that oath to you once he becomes an adult," stated Kaneath.

"WHAT?" cried Elandria. "That's crazy. Why would he do that?"

"He feels you saved his life the night of the attack when the ogre almost killed him," said Kaneath.

"Well, it was my fault he even got close to the thing. I was so wrapped up in the idea of emissaries that I never even thought about an ogre. Besides, it happened at a time when he was still considered a child," said Elandria. "Tell him it doesn't count. I've used that same tactic lots of times in the past with other people. He doesn't need to do this."

"I don't know if that will work. He has set his mind to this course," said Kaneath.

"Besides, what need do I have for a liege man?" asked Elandria. "I'm a Grey Warden, not a noble. I'd just get him killed, sooner rather than later."

"Yes, it is true that you would have very little use for him," agreed Kaneath. "However, he could be quite useful to your son."

"Huh," said Elandria as she thought about that.

"Having someone you could trust who would always look out for Kellin and protect him as he was growing up could come in handy," said Kaneath.

"Why are you suggesting this? If this is a vow for life, it will mean that Torin will most probably be tied to Kellin until his death, as he is sixteen years older than Kellin. Plus, Kellin and I will most likely be leaving the forest soon, and Torin would have to leave the clan to go with us. I can't believe that is what you would want for your son," said Elandria.

"You're right. It would pain me greatly for Torin to leave, but once he is considered an adult, I can't do anything to stop him. My son seems to have inherited his mamae's stubborn streak. Once he gets an idea in his head, it's almost impossible to change his mind. I saw a glimmer of what you could do in that fight a couple weeks ago, and I think that fight was nothing to you, that you've been in much worse ones. To be honest and I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I'd rather Torin be tied to Kellin than you. Torin is a good fighter and will get better, but I don't know if he could survive very long against the creatures you fight," Kaneath explained.

"What would this mean for you? I know you can do many things by yourself, but Torin is a big help. Won't you be lonely?" asked Elandria.

Kaneath's face turned a bright red. "Oh well, um, about that," he started.

Elandria grinned in delight. "Why, Kaneath, have you been holding out on me?" she asked.

Kaneath looked down at the ground so he wouldn't have to look at her. "Well, Vanora has agreed to stay with me and help me out if Torin leaves," he mumbled.

Elandria jumped up and hugged him, "Why, you sly old fox, you! I had no idea. Congratulations. And Vanora didn't say anything to me either! Why, I'm almost offended!"

"I've told her repeatedly she deserves a whole man, but it doesn't seem to make a difference to her," he said.

"Kaneath, you are more a man than most who have both their legs. As a matter of fact, if you were five years younger and I was five years older, Vanora would have had some competition," Elandria said jokingly. "I think it's wonderful. I'm so happy for both of you."

"Thank you," said Kaneath, and they were both quiet for a few minutes, watching the fire and thinking their own thoughts. "So will you do it?" asked Kaneath finally. "Will you allow Torin to swear to Kellin rather than you?"

"Does he know anything about this idea of yours with Kellin?" asked Elandria.

"No, I haven't mentioned anything about it to him yet. I wanted to talk to you before bringing it up with Torin," said Kaneath.

"He'll have to know the truth about Kellin first. He'll have to understand what he is getting into," declared Elandria. "I think we can trust him to keep the secret."

"Yes, especially once the binding is done," said Kaneath.

"Tell me about this binding," said Elandria. "I'm not familiar with that sort of magic."

"It's a spell that the keeper performs at the time when the oaths are sworn. From what I understand, it differs from one pairing to the other. Most of the partners swearing the oath develop a sense for the person they are sworn to such as to be able to locate them. For example, if Kellin were hiding, then Torin would be able to find him," explained Kaneath.

"Or if someone tried to take Kellin," said Elandria musingly, her mind always working to find tactical advantages to any situation. "That could come in handy."

"Of course, with Kellin being so young, it's hard to say how the binding would be affected. It's something that develops over time from what I understand. I don't know if anyone has ever bonded to a child before, or a human for that matter," said Kaneath.

"Kellin's a little young to be making oaths," stated Elandria.

"I'm sure you would have to swear the oaths for him. However, I imagine for the binding itself that Kellin will have to be involved. We'll have to talk to Lanaya. It's been years since this ceremony was performed," said Kaneath. "But I'm sure Zathrian would have passed the knowledge down to her."

Since Lanaya was due back any day now, they decided to wait until Torin returned home to discuss it with him then. While they were waiting for him, Elandria asked Vanora to join her and Kaneath; they left the door open to the aravel so that they could hear if Kellin stirred. Elandria gave both Vanora and Kaneath some good-natured ribbing about their relationship, but she was delighted that her friends found happiness in each other.

They were having such a good time that it seemed only a short while before Torin returned. He joined the happy threesome around the fire.

"Torin," Kaneath started to say, but Elandria broke in.

"Let me please, Kaneath," said Elandria. She turned a stern expression on the young man sitting beside her. "Your father has told me your plans about the Lenayath," she announced.

Torin continued to hold her gaze steadily, "So?' he inquired.

"Why do you want to do this?" she asked. "Why do you want to limit yourself this way, to follow someone's else life instead of living your own?"

"Do you think because I'm young I know nothing of honor? I would have been dead if you hadn't cast that spell that protected me. Why should I not wish to repay you?" asked Torin.

"Torin, what I did is nothing compared to you swearing a life oath. That was one of our tried-and-true tactics for fighting an ogre or a dragon. I've cast that spell countless times for Zevran and Alistair," said Elandria. "Believe me, neither of them swore a life oath because of it."

"Neither of them were Dalish," declared Torin proudly, as if that settled the matter.

"Please think about this. I would hate in a few years for you to be trapped in a life you hate, a life that you can't escape," pleaded Elandria.

"I have thought about it. I've been thinking about it since the fight that night," said Torin. "I'm not going to change my mind. Besides, I would like to see more of life than just the forest. I love my clan, don't get me wrong, but I've always had a desire to explore new places. Some of the stories you have told me, I have a hard time believing such tales could be true. I'd like to see more of the world with my own eyes."

Elandria looked at Kaneath for help.

"Hey, I've tried," said Kaneath shaking his head. "I didn't get any further than you did."

Elandria turned her gaze on Torin, and he met hers calmly, as if he was just waiting for her to speak. _Well, he certainly has self-command. I've had grown men who wouldn't or couldn't hold my gaze. _"IF I agree to this, your father has a request," she said.

"What's that?" asked Torin.

"He wants me to relinquish your oath in favor of Kellin," said Elandria.

"Kellin is a child. I want to swear to you," insisted Torin.

"Torin and Vanora, both of you, I'm going to divulge something, but you have to swear not to repeat what I'm going to tell you to anyone," said Elandria.

Both of them promised to keep the secret she was going to tell them.

"Kellin's father is the king of Ferelden," Elandria revealed. "I realize that doesn't mean a whole lot here in camp, but it will have implications anywhere else we go. Kellin is a bastard, but right now, he is the only child the king has, and before you ask, no, Alistair doesn't know about Kellin. He doesn't even know I'm still alive. He believes with the rest of Ferelden that I died on that rooftop at Fort Drakon."

"Well, that's something to get your mind around," said Torin. "I will admit to wondering who his father was, but I never suspected him. It makes sense though. I should have figured this out a long time ago."

Elandria continued, "I'm seriously considering informing Alistair of Kellin's existence. If I do, he may insist on Kellin staying in Denerim with him. If that happens, I will most probably return to the Wardens. It would ease my mind to know that Kellin had someone looking out for him who would consider him first instead of the king, as in the case with a guard. There is also the possibility that Alistair will not want him raised at court. In that case, Kellin will go with me, and again, if I do decide to return ,having someone I can trust to watch out for Kellin would be helpful."

Kaneath spoke up, "So, you have decided to go back to the Wardens then?"

Elandria answered him, "That has always been the general plan. I don't really have anywhere else to go. If I go back to the mage tower, the templars will take Kellin away from me, and I would never see him again. That's _not _going to happen. Even if Alistair wants Kellin in Denerim with him, I can't believe he would be as cruel as to not let me see him no matter how the situation stands between he and I." She paused and then added musingly, "No, that's not something Alistair would do. He's not made that way."

"The question now is what are you going to do, Torin? You don't have to do this. Why don't you take some time and really think about it? When Lanaya gets back, then we can discuss this again. I will not accept you swearing the Lenayath to me. If after thinking about it, you still want to do this and tie yourself to Kellin, that I will accept," said Elandria. "However, there is something else for you to consider as well, Torin. If you do this, you will not be able to tell anyone who Kellin is until such a time as his father and I are ready to reveal it. To most of the people here in camp, Kellin is just some shem child. I'm sure you will take ribbing from your friends about it, and many of the adults of the clan probably won't understand it either. Are you going to be able to handle that?"

Torin thought a moment and then said, "That's just part of the job of protecting Kellin, though."

"Yes," agreed Elandria. "It is. "

"I'll think about it," promised Torin, "But I won't change my mind."

Lanaya was delayed returning from her time in Denerim. Normally, she was only gone a month plus travel time on both sides. They had received the message that she sent the clan informing them of the extension of her stay. This time, she ended up having to stay in Denerim an extra month, but would be staying with the clan for three months instead of the normal two after that before returning to Denerim. Elandria was disappointed that Lanaya would be longer in returning, especially since she had made up her mind to talk to her about Alistair and Kellin. She wasn't the only one disappointed as the three youngsters who were to undergo their vallaslin ceremony had to wait as well. It did give her more time to try and talk some sense into Torin, but he remained steadfast.

When Lanaya finally did make it back to the clan, she was so busy getting ready for the vallaslin ceremony that Elandria had to wait to see her. Finally, she and Torin were able to see her late one afternoon. When Elandria told her they needed to speak with her privately, Lanaya invited them into her aravel. Once again, Elandria settled herself on the pillows inside Lanaya's aravel, this time with Torin beside her.

"Well, what is this about, Elandria?" asked Lanaya after they had spent some time talking about the attack by the darkspawn and all that had entailed.

"Well, there are actually two separate things I need to discuss with you," said Elandria. "The first one is that I've been doing a lot of thinking about Kellin and his future, and I think I'm ready to tell Alistair about his son. You've been in Denerim and the palace, and I'm hoping you could give me some advice on the best way to approach this."

Lanaya's eyes flicked to Torin and then back to Elandria.

"Yes, Torin knows," she said. "We can speak freely in front of him."

Lanaya nodded and then said not very happily, "About that, Elandria. I have some news for you."

"What is it?" asked Elandria.

"The queen is pregnant," said Lanaya.

Elandria felt an almost physical stab in her heart, which she tried to push aside, as she retreated behind the mask she had learned to wear the year of the Blight. "I wasn't expecting that," she said softly.

Lanaya watched Elandria's face wondering at the thoughts behind Elandria's eyes. Torin wisely sat quietly, watching both of them.

"What kind of woman is she?" asked Elandria.

"I don't understand," said Lanaya. "What are you asking?"

"I know I haven't wanted to know anything about Alistair's queen, but I need to know now for Kellin's sake. I learned from Anora how far some people will go to secure their position, especially if they have a thirst for power. Is this woman a danger to my son if she finds out about him? If Kellin ends up a threat to her child's future, how far will she go to remove that threat?" asked Elandria.

"W-e-l-l," Lanaya drew out the word as she considered what Elandria had asked, "I've only met Queen Briana once or twice. She's very pleasant. She's not involved in the day-to-day running of the country. Actually, she's not out in public all that much. She just does the very basic appearances. She is a healer. She helped set up the clinic in the alienage and actually worked there for a time, although she isn't working there anymore, with her pregnancy."

Elandria mulled over what Lanaya had told her for a minute or two. "Well, let me think about this a bit. This pregnancy changes things," she said. "Torin, why don't you fill Lanaya in on why else we are here."

"Keeper, I have a request," asserted Torin.

"Oh," said Lanaya. "What is it, soon-to-be adult clan member?"

"Once I have received my vallaslin, I request you to perform the Lenayath ceremony," said Torin.

Lanaya raised an eyebrow, "And who will you be swearing this oath to?" she asked.

"To Kellin, through Elandria," replied Torin.

Lanaya sat back and considered, "I don't know if a child has ever been involved in this before," she said. "Well, two children actually, if we count you."

"I won't be a child then," Torin pointed out.

"Torin, have you considered all the ramifications of this?" asked Lanaya.

Elandria couldn't help it. She started to giggle. When Lanaya looked at her, she burst out into a full laugh. "I tried the same exact conversation with him. Hope you have better luck than I did," she said.

Lanaya just smiled, "So, in that case, I assume you both are willing to do this. Very well, if all participants are willing, I will allow it."

"Thank you, keeper," said Torin.

"Torin, leave us now," commanded Lanaya. "I wish to speak with Elandria privately."

"I'll see you back at our aravels, Elandria," said Torin. "Keeper," he continued with a slight bow to Lanaya as he exited the aravel.

Lanaya looked at Elandria.

Elandria started before Lanaya could say anything. "I know. He's awful young for this. He is so determined though. What else am I to do? Hard to believe I was just a little older than he when I became a Grey Warden."

"It's not a bad idea for Kellin's sake. I just hope Torin can live with this choice he makes now as he gets older," said Lanaya.

"Me too," agreed Elandria.

"Now," Lanaya went on, "Tell me what is going on with you and Menarin."

"Me and Menarin?" Elandria questioned. "What do you mean? I'm helping him with the hunters."

"I've heard gossip about camp it is more than that," Lanaya implied.

"No, it's not," said Elandria with a laugh. "Someone obviously has been making things up."

"You sure?" asked Lanaya suspiciously.

"By Andraste's flaming sword, Lanaya, a month ago the man thought I was a whore. I'm just helping him, honestly," asserted Elandria.

"I heard he's been staying out at your aravel with you," she said.

"He has been out to the aravels with all of us for a couple meals, but that is it. I can't believe I'm having to defend myself to you," Elandria replied.

"I'm just curious. It might not be a bad idea for you to be involved with someone again; however, if you really are planning on leaving, the timing is bad," Lanaya noted.

"Whoa, stop. No," said Elandria. "Me getting involved with anyone again is a terrible idea. Look how well it worked out the last time. I'll just stick with Kellin and the Wardens. Kellin is enough for me. I'm luckier than most Grey Wardens in the fact that I have him. I've accepted the fact that I'll be alone until either a darkspawn gets me or the Calling comes."

"Never say never," Lanaya finished with the final word.

As Elandria was heading back to the aravels, her mind was racing with the things she had discovered from Lanaya. _Me and Menarin? Please, like that would ever happen._ The other topic of Alistair having another child troubled her more. This made Kellin's future more unsettled. She certainly would have to think things through some more before contacting Alistair now. _How I wish I had Zevran here to help me. He would know how to get the information I need. _


	19. Another Babe is Born

When Briana told him her water broke, Alistair could almost feel the adrenaline pumping through his body. He yelled for his guards to get the healers and went to Briana.

"Here," he said softly, trying to control his racing heart. "Let me help you to bed." He gently took her arm with his right hand, put his left arm around her waist, and led her through the door to her room. "Glenda," he bellowed. "Your mistress needs you!"

Briana had wanted to shake him off since she was still angry with him, but decided to accept his help as she felt a stronger contraction start. Evidently, her false contractions this afternoon hadn't been so false after all.

Glenda came hurrying into the room. She had been in Briana's closet attending to some repair chores on Briana's clothes. "Here, my Lady, let me help you," she said to Briana.

"Her water broke," Alistair informed the maid. "Help her into bed."

"Yes, Sire," said Glenda.

Alistair went to the door of Briana's room and stuck his head out of it looking for the healers. One of Briana's guards was standing beside the door. "Where are the healers?" he asked.

"Your Majesty, Thomas, my partner on this shift, went to fetch them. He should be back shortly," replied the man.

"Fine," Alistair said. "Send them in as soon as they arrive."

"Of course, your Majesty," said the man with a bow.

Alistair drew back into the room and shut the door. At this point, Glenda was just finishing tucking the queen into bed. He went over to her bedside. "Briana, what can I do?" he asked.

Briana almost wanted to hit him. Five minutes ago, he wouldn't even talk to her. Now, she was in labor, and he was all concerned. "We wait, Alistair," she said. "There's not much more we can do." She turned to Glenda, as the maid had been with her since she was a child. "Stay with me, Glenda," she pleaded.

"Of course, I will," said Glenda tenderly as she took her hand and stroked her face. "As long as you need me."

Alistair backed off to give the maid more room at the bedside, twisting his hands and feeling generally useless. He was such an idiot. Sometimes he really didn't understand himself. Why hadn't he responded to Briana's pleas? Was it his fault she had gone into labor so suddenly? What if the baby suffered because of his stupidity? Alistair was still kicking himself when there was a knock on the door, and then it opened to reveal Wynne and two or three of the other women healers that Briana had requested to have present. Upon seeing Wynne, Alistair felt immediate relief. She would take care of everything and make it all right.

Wynne took in the room at a glance and said, "All right, your Majesty. This is no place for you. Out you go."

"Where do I go?" he asked.

"Anywhere you like, but not here," answered Wynne. "Why don't you go find the chancellor," she suggested.

"I'll be in my room then," said Alistair. He was secretly relieved at being dismissed. He turned to the bedside, "I'll be right next door if you need me, Briana," he informed her before leaving the room.

"Fine, Alistair," she replied without really looking at him and continued to murmur to her maid.

When Wynne approached Briana's bedside, Briana looked up at her and said, "I know about the baby and the taint."

"I'm so glad the king told you," said Wynne.

"He didn't exactly tell me. I found out from someone else," Briana replied.

Wynne shook her head. "I tried to get him to tell you. I've known your husband a long time, and he tends to be overprotective. He just didn't want you to worry."

"He should have told me," insisted Briana.

"Yes, he should have," Wynne agreed. "But now, let me take a look at you and see where we are. Okay?" She proceeded to examine Briana after the queen gave her permission. After Wynne looked at her, she had Briana get up, as Glenda assisted her, to walk around the room to help progress her labor.

While Wynne and the other healers were ministering to Briana, Alistair was in his room. He had sent a page to ask Eamon to join him. When Eamon showed up, he took one look at Alistair and knew he was worrying himself silly. "Come, Alistair," he said. "I'm sure it will be a while yet. Let's take a walk."

"I want to be here when the baby is born," replied Alistair.

Eamon went over and knocked on the adjoining door. One of the healers answered it. He spoke to her quietly and then shut the door. "It's going to be hours yet, Alistair. Let's get out of this room while we can. Isolde's labor took a long time as well."

Reluctantly, Alistair allowed Eamon to herd him out of the room, and they walked the passages of the palace. However, he certainly wasn't very good company because he couldn't get his mind off what was happening in Briana's room. Eamon just continued to chat mindlessly and wander the halls with Alistair at his side.

When they returned to Alistair's room hours later, Alistair went to the adjoining door and knocked. The healer Dalla came to the door and told him there had been no change. Eamon stayed with Alistair all through that evening as the two of them settled into chairs before the fireplace. Finally, Alistair sent Eamon back to his quarters to his wife while he dozed intermittently throughout the night.

As the night wore on, Wynne became more concerned because Briana didn't seem to be dilating properly. Wynne tried her monitoring spell again to check on the baby, but she couldn't find any reason why the birth wouldn't proceed.

As time passed and night turned into another day with no change in Briana's condition, Wynne grew more and more worried, and Alistair was going out of his mind. He kept knocking on the door, more agitated each time. Finally, Wynne ended up having to go next door and speak quite sternly to him to get him to calm down. Unfortunately, Teagan had shown up shortly before noon, after just arriving in town, bearing a bottle of Redcliffe Rare, and Alistair hadn't lost any time in quaffing down the entire bottle. After giving Teagan a piece of her mind (at least he could have waited until _after_ the baby was born to gift Alistair with the wine), she had sufficiently cowed both men, promising that they would be kept informed when the situation changed.

As Wynne returned to Briana's room, she felt tired right down to the bone. She had managed to snatch some sleep during the night at Briana's bedside, but she certainly could use a few more hours of rest. She went over to examine Briana again, but she still wasn't dilated enough to allow the baby to be born. Wynne had Dalla resume her watch over Briana as she went to check in her portmanteau to see if she had any potions or extracts that would help. Wynne had just started rummaging in her bag when she heard Dalla give a sharp cry.

"She's bleeding, Wynne," exclaimed Dalla.

Wynne rushed over to the queen while Briana was starting to ask questions.

"Shush, your Majesty," said Wynne. "Let me work now."

Wynne's heart sank as she examined the sheet that was underneath Briana. It was dark red with the blood that had begun to flow from the queen's body. Wynne ran to her bag, digging in the very bottom of it, and pulled out a small, dark bottle.

"Give me a cup," demanded Wynne, and one of the other healers jumped to obey. Wynne carefully measured out three drops from her bottle and then filled the cup with water.

"Wynne, is that ealik extract?" Dalla queried.

"Yes," Wynne answered sharply.

"But that could kill her!" exclaimed Dalla.

"Your Majesty, If we don't get the baby delivered, we could lose both of you. This will bring on a rapid onset of labor. As long as I measured the dose properly, it will allow you to deliver without harming you, but there is risk," Wynne told Briana.

Briana held out her hand. "Give me the cup, Wynne. I understand."

Wynne handed her the cup and watched as Briana drank the contents, As everyone in the room waited for the potion to take effect, Wynne calmly explained to Dalla. "You will deliver the baby. Let me know as soon as the head is free from the queen's body. I can then start to work on stopping the bleeding. I dare not try any spells until the child is almost born for fear of interfering with the birthing process. Do you understand?" asked Wynne.

"Yes, Wynne," Dalla replied with a gulp.

In less than five minutes, Briana's body had undergone an amazing change. She reached full dilatation and began pushing, but it was a race between the baby being born and the blood that continued to flow from the young queen's body. Wynne stood with her hands poised above Briana's stomach ready to cast her spell as soon as it was safe. Glenda was encouraging Briana to push.

"The head is coming!" Dalla exclaimed.

Wynne replied in a calm voice, "Let me know as soon as the head is delivered, Dalla. Hold on, your Majesty. It won't be long now."

Briana continued to struggle to bring her child into the world, growing weaker as each minute passed, while Glenda stayed with her and murmured encouragement.

"Now, Wynne!" Dalla yelled.

Wynne immediately cast her healing spell, slowing and stopping Briana's hemorrhagic bleeding while Dalla delivered the rest of the infant and cut the umbilical cord. "It's a girl," she announced to the room. "A little princess!" As she handed the little girl to another waiting healer, the child gave a weak cry.

Wynne left her position at Briana's side to move down beside Dalla so she could examine Briana and make sure all was as it should be after the birth. "Your Majesty, talk to me," Wynne said.

"I'm okay, Wynne," Briana said weakly. "I want to hold my daughter." One of the attendants brought the little girl to the queen as soon as she was cleaned up from the birth and wrapped in a soft coverlet.

Wynne and Dalla continued to attend the queen as the afterbirth was delivered, and then she was cleaned up and the bed linen she was lying on changed. "Someone let his Majesty know his daughter is born," requested Wynne.

When Alistair heard the door to Briana's room open, he blearily peeked around the edge of his chair.

"Your Majesty, you have a daughter," said the healer at the door.

"What?" said Alistair uncomprehending.

"A little girl, Sire. She was just born," said the woman.

"But Wynne just left!" Alistair exclaimed as he leapt to his feet, the alcohol seeming to drain from his system as if by magic. He rushed to the door and into Briana's room, past the woman standing there. Alistair froze for a few seconds when he saw Briana holding the baby, as he only had eyes for the child she held. Glenda backed away from the bedside to give him room, and Alistair rushed to the bed and went to his knees beside it. He tentatively reached out one finger and touched the babe very gently on the cheek. "She's beautiful," he said quietly with a catch in his voice.

"Yes, she is," agreed Briana.

"What's her name?" asked Wynne.

"It's Moira," answered Alistair, still not looking anywhere but at the baby.

"King Maric's mother, the Rebel Queen herself," said Wynne with a smile. "Very fitting."

Briana saw the way Alistair was looking at the baby as he continued to stroke her soft, soft skin and felt her anger towards him mellow, "Did you want to hold her, Alistair?" she asked.

"Yes," he said quietly, "But I'm afraid I'll drop her."

Briana gave him a small smile. "You won't drop her."

Since Briana was so weak, Glenda came over, took the baby from her, and put Moira in Alistair's arms, showing him how to hold her and support the baby's head.

Something changed inside Alistair from the moment he held his infant daughter in his arms. For as long as he could remember, he had observed other people with their families, and he had wanted so badly what they had. As a child, he had watched Eamon and Teagan, the way they were always there for each other, without a doubt on either side that it would be so, and he had hungered for that type of blood-of-my-blood connection with another human being. That was the reason the meeting with his sister had impacted him so much. It had broken something inside him when she had denied him. Now, holding this little scrap of himself and Briana, the wonder of it almost overcame him, and he realized the hurt Goldana had inflicted was healed. As he looked into her blue newborn eyes and Moira returned his stare, he knew there wasn't _anything _he wouldn't do for his little girl. He gently kissed her forehead as he swore to himself that he would protect her and cherish her as long as he lived.

When Wynne saw the tears start to form in Alistair's eyes, she decided to take things in her own hands and clear the room. She ordered everyone but Dalla, Glenda, and Teagan (who had followed Alistair in from his room) from the queen's chamber. As the heroine of the day, everyone listened to her and obediently left.

"Congratulations, Alistair!" Teagan said jovially as he came over and clasped the younger man by the shoulder. "I'll just go tell Eamon, shall I?" he asked.

"Yes, that's fine," said Alistair absently, "And thanks, Teagan." Alistair finally managed to tear his eyes away from his daughter and looked up at Wynne with unashamed tears in his eyes. "Did you check her?" he asked.

"I've been a little busy saving your wife, Alistair, but Briana should be fine for now. She will have to stay in bed for a while to recuperate, though, and then we will see where we are in a few days" Wynne said. "Here, let me have the baby now."

Wynne took the child from Alistair, taking a few minutes to relish the joy that always accompanied the act of holding a new life in her arms. She murmured a few soft nothings to the baby and hugged her tight before casting her spell.

While Wynne was busy with the baby, Alistair went back to Briana's bedside. He knelt down beside her and kissed her very gently. "Thank you," he said as he took her hand in his. "I can't tell you what this means to me."

Briana looked at Alistair and said seriously, "She's worth it all, isn't she?"

"Yes," agreed Alistair, understanding that she was talking about all the trouble that lay between he and Briana. "She's worth everything."

Wynne turned to Alistair and Briana with a smile. "She seems just fine. I don't detect anything unusual."

"No taint?" asked Alistair.

"No taint," agreed Wynne.

After so many months of worrying about this, Alistair almost didn't know what to do with himself with the release of the fear. He ended up dropping his head into Briana's bedclothes, screwing his eyes shut, and mumbling "Thank you," repeatedly to the Maker.

* * *

The next morning, Wynne had risen, dressed, and was just getting ready to leave her quarters to see about checking on Briana when there was a knock on the door.

"Yes?" she said pleasantly as she pulled the door open. She was confronted with Moira's wet nurse and her nanny, who was clutching the baby to her, with a guard behind them.

"Senior Enchanter, something is wrong with the baby. We can't get her to eat, and her breathing is too fast," stammered the nanny.

"Give her to me," demanded Wynne. She retreated back into her room, waving the two women in behind her. She quickly cast her monitoring spell. As she returned herself to full consciousness, she exclaimed, "Oh no!" and ran from the room carrying the baby.

* * *

_A.N.: Thanks, as always, to melismo and to everyone who has added the story to their favorites, story alert, and reviewed. I really enjoy hearing from everyone, and it amazes me so many people are interested in my version of what comes next. _


	20. Day of the Lenayath

_A.N.: Wow, Chapter Twenty. Hard to believe my little one-shot story has grown so far. Thanks to everyone who has encouraged me and as always to Melismo, especially for the help with the Menarin portion. _

* * *

Now that Lanaya was back from Denerim, plans were made to hold the vallaslin ceremony for the three youngsters who were judged mature enough to undergo the rite. This would mark their acceptance into adulthood within the clan. It was planned that it would take place two weeks after Lanaya's return. The actual ceremony would take place during the day with a huge celebration that night. Before the celebration ended, Lanaya would call the clan to attend the Lenayath the following day.

As the time for Torin to get his vallaslin drew near, Elandria had commissioned Master Varathorn to make a pair of special daggers of rare ironbark that she could gift to him. It had taken her weeks to find enough ironbark for Master Varathorn to be able to craft two daggers with. She planned to give Torin his daggers the night of the vallaslin. If he had to leave his clan to go with her and Kellin, at least he would have something special from home to take with him wherever the three of them ended up wandering when they left. She had the clan's leatherworker, Desitina, make dual sheaths for the daggers, which were of the softest leather and beautifully decorated with beaded designs. She planned on having Kellin present those to Torin the night of the Lenayath.

Finally, the day of the vallaslin ceremony arrived. All three of the young people had spent the day before undergoing the purification and meditation rites in preparation. The clan sat in silence as Lanaya administered the tattoos to each one of the young elves. There was a resounding cheer once all three had their tattoos applied without uttering a sound, and the party began.

Everyone crowded around the three new adults of the clan to admire their tattoos. Torin had received the graceful swirls of Mythal, who was the elven goddess known as "The Protector." Elandria found that totally fitting as he would be Kellin's protector. Soon the glade was resounding with the voices of the adult elves as they chatted among themselves. The younger children were running back and forth across the glade, playing their own games and trying to entice adults to join in. The scents of cooking food wafted through the crowd driven by the idiosyncrasies of the wind. As evening closed in, the food was brought out as the women of the clan had been preparing for this for the past few days. There was a huge feast with many special tidbits, and it wasn't long before everyone was stuffed.

After the meal was consumed, a huge bonfire was built in the center of camp, and everyone gathered around it. The gift-giving portion of the night began. It started with the three new adults giving small presents to the children of the clan, symbolizing that they had left their childhood behind them. After that, gifts were presented to them from clansmen who felt especially close to them. Elandria gave Torin the twin daggers on behalf of her and Kellin. Kaneath gave Torin a locket that had belonged to his mother. Secured inside was a piece of hair from his mother, Kaneath, and Torin as a baby. Torin put it on and said he would wear it always.

Before everyone started heading to their aravels, Lanaya announced that there would be a Lenayath the following afternoon and charged all in the clan to attend; however, she didn't mention who the participants were. Shortly after this, she retired for the evening. Once Lanaya left, the conversation turned to guessing who was involved. Many of the elves had never seen the ceremony before and were excited at the chance to observe it. As Elandria, Kaneath, Vanora, Torin, and Kellin headed back to their aravels for the night, Elandria asked Torin one more time if he had changed his mind. Again, he asserted he was ready to go through with the swearing of the vows.

The next morning it was quiet around their aravels, as Elandria was nervous, and even Torin seemed to be caught up in the seriousness of the day. Kaneath was sad but proud of his son, as he realized that they would soon come to the parting of their ways when Torin went out into the world and away from home. Only Kellin was irrepressible, running around and generally getting into trouble with Vanora. He was excited about the part he was to play in the coming ceremony.

Vanora, their domestic goddess, had helped the three of them make the clothing they were required to wear and had dropped their clothes off at Lanaya's aravel the day before. As the ceremony was due to start around noon, Elandria, Torin, and Kellin had to be in Lanaya's aravel before eleven so they would have time to change and go over everything with her one last time. Once they had been smuggled in the aravel through the back, Lanaya asked both Elandria and Torin if they still wanted to go through with the rite, as it was not too late to back out. A look of shared understanding passed between the two before they both turned to Lanaya and reaffirmed their willingness to proceed. They went over the ceremony and then went into separate rooms to change. Elandria had to wrangle Kellin into his clothes as his excitement level was high, and he didn't want to stay still long enough to change. Elandria and Kellin were in all white. (One of the reasons they waited until the last minute to change. A 2-1/2-year-old in white-it's only a matter of time before the first stain appears.) As the one swearing his protection and service, Torin was in black. Both Kellin and Torin had their hair tied back with matching strips of cloth.

Rohanie came to the door of the aravel to let them know that the clan had gathered. Because Lanaya was keeper, her aravel was set up right outside the central assemblage point. Rohanie and Zanathan had been in charge of the preparations for today's event and had kindled a small fire. There was a table with items needed for the ceremony that was set to the side.

After a few whispered words to Rohanie, Lanaya left the aravel and solemnly entered the center of the glade where she raised her arms in greeting and began. "Andaran atish'an the last of the true elvhen, we who are the remnants of what we once were. Today, we gather under the sun to hear vows spoken that have no place in the darkness. Vows taken freely and voluntarily, but that nonetheless tie and bind. Welcome, my people, to the Lenayath," called Lanaya in a strong voice.

"Andaran atish'an, keeper. We are here to witness," answered the crowd.

"I summon Torin Elrani, son of Kaneath; Elandria Surana, daughter of Mahindria; and Kellin, son of Elandria to stand before me now," continued Lanaya. There was a loud murmur and a few gasps from the assembled elves as their names were called.

Torin exited the aravel first and went to stand on Lanaya's left. Elandria and Kellin followed and stood to her right.

"Torin, the vows you will swear today will change the course of your life and tether it to that of another. As an adult of this clan, this cannot be done against your will. Are you sure it is your wish to proceed?" asked Lanaya.

"It is, keeper," answered Torin.

"The clan has heard and recognized your intent," stated Lanaya.

"We have," affirmed the elves as a group.

"Torin Elrani, to whom do you swear?" asked Lanaya.

"For saving our clan and my life, to Elandria Surana," answered Torin.

"Elandria Surana, do you accept this young man's vows?" Lanaya continued.

"No," said Elandria, as a gasp came from the crowd. "I wish instead to place a charge on him and relinquish his vows to my son, Kellin. This obligation I lay on you, Torin Elrani, that you will protect and guard my son, as well as you are able, as long as you both live."

"Do you accept this obligation, Torin Elrani?" asked Lanaya.

Torin bowed his head to Lanaya, "Keeper, I do," he replied.

"So be it," said Lanaya. "Torin, kneel."

Torin turned sideways and knelt in front of Lanaya still off on her right side. Elandria brought Kellin up to stand facing Torin, while she squatted down behind Kellin. Torin put his hands up palm to palm, and Elandria placed Kellin's small hands on the outside of Torin's hands with hers covering Kellin's.

"Torin Elrani, do you swear to protect and guard Kellin to the best of your ability as long as you both draw breath? Do you promise to be the shield at his side and the blade before him?" Lanaya asked.

"I so vow," swore Torin.

"Elandria Surana, do you accept this oath in the name of your son?" intoned Lanaya.

"I do, and I make a vow to him in return. I will teach my son to understand and respect the sacrifice that Torin makes for him, and I pledge that Torin's dedication and service will not go unappreciated," promised Elandria.

"Do you hear and acknowledge?" called Lanaya to the assembled elves.

"We do," came the answer.

"Thus, we come to the binding," stated Lanaya. "As our elvhen ancestors did before us, so do we do now." She had Torin turn around to face the crowd and she unbound his hair. Picking up a small pair of scissors from the table she snipped off some of Torin's brown locks. She handed them to Rohanie to hold for her. She then had Kellin turn and face everyone and did the same to him. She held his fine child's hair while Zanathan lit the candle that was on the table. She then proceeded to cast a spell while burning the hair from both Torin and Kellin.

Elandria watched with interest as this was an old form of magic, one she had never seen before, totally different from what the circle magi taught. As Lanaya finished her spell, she could see a slight shimmering surround Kellin and Torin. She imaged that only she, Lanaya, Rohanie, and Zanathan could see it.

"I have set the binding," explained Lanaya. "It is up to you to seal it," she told Torin and Kellin.

Kellin tugged on Elandria's sleeve. "Is this the ouchy part, Mamae?" he asked.

Elandria squatted down and said, "Yes, little one. Ready to be brave?"

"Yes, Mamae," replied Kellin as he trustingly held his hand out to Torin. Elandria turned him so he faced into her chest and wrapped her arm around him. He stood still, not watching, with his hand outstretched to Torin. Torin took the small knife Rohanie handed him as Lanaya held a cup under Kellin's hand. Torin made a quick slice in Kellin's first finger, and a few drops of blood fell into the cup. Kellin jumped but didn't cry out.

"My brave boy," Elandria whispered to him.

Kellin held his finger up to Elandria. "Kiss it, Mamae. Make it all better."

Elandria's eyes softened as she looked at her son. She bent her head and placed a gentle kiss on his finger. "There, better now?" she asked quietly.

Kellin nodded and smiled at her. He then turned to Torin. "Be brave, Torin. It's not that bad," he stated matter-of-factly. Lanaya handed Elandria the hair tie she had removed from Torin, and Elandria wrapped Kellin's finger in it.

"I'll try to be as brave as you," Torin told him. He held his hand out to Kellin. Elandria and Kellin took the knife together and made the incision in Torin's finger as Lanaya caught a few drops of Torin's blood in the cup.

"Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?" Kellin asked Torin.

"Yes," Torin smiled gently down at Kellin as he kissed Torin's finger.

"There," said Kellin. "All fixed."

"Thank you," Torin said and ruffled Kellin's hair. Lanaya handed Torin the hair tie from Kellin's hair, and he wrapped his cut with it.

Lanaya turned back to the table and proceeded to mix into the cup an assortment of ingredients while mumbling a spell. Finally, she turned back to the three standing before her. She picked up another long strip of cloth off the table. "Kellin and Torin, give me your right hands," she requested. She loosely tied their hands together. Then, she picked up the cup, "A binding set and now to be created to replace the symbolic one now tying you together. Once done, it cannot be broken. Are you still sure you wish to do this?" asked Lanaya. Elandria and Torin both nodded to Lanaya.

"Then, Kellin, drink," Lanaya commanded as she placed the cup to his lips.

He drank some down. "Yucky," he said as Lanaya drew the cup back. She managed to stifle her smile.

"Torin, drink," bade Lanaya as she turned to him and placed the cup to his lips.

"I agree with Kellin, yucky," he stated when Lanaya withdrew the cup and removed the tie from their hands.

Lanaya shot him a glance, but let it pass. "Oaths have been made and accepted. The binding has been laid. The Lenayath is complete," declared Lanaya.

Kellin was almost jumping up and down with excitement. "Present, Torin!" he yelled as Rohanie handed him the sheaths that had been hidden by the two apprentices during the ceremony. Torin knelt down beside him as Kellin handed him the sheaths. "See, pretty," said Kellin as he pointed out some of the beadwork. Kellin particularly liked the hawk that was portrayed with its wings spread.

"Thank you, Kellin," said Torin. "They are beautiful."

"They are for your new daggers," Kellin told him earnestly.

After the Lenayath, the first thing Elandria did was heal Kellin's cut. She offered to heal Torin's as well, but he declined. Torin was besieged by his friends as most of them thought he was crazy to tie himself to a shem child. Torin just smiled and told them he knew what he was doing while keeping his eye on Kellin at the same time. After just making his vow, he certainly wasn't going to break it the first day. Many of the adults had questions as well. He soon found that his best answer was just to smile, nod politely, say he had his reasons, and then refuse to discuss it anymore.

When Elandria, Torin, and Kellin were finally able to slip away from the main camp and make it back to their aravels, moving day was in process. They had decided that Vanora would move in with Kaneath and Torin would stay with Elandria and Kellin to allow everyone to start to get used to the new arrangements that would be effected once the three of them left camp. Vanora would still help out with Kellin and around Elandria's aravel as needed, however.

* * *

That evening Elandria had a visitor as Menarin came out to their aravels. When he asked her to walk with him, she assumed he wanted to discuss the training exercise they had planned for the following day. She asked Torin to stay with Kellin while she walked with Menarin.

When she joined him, Menarin headed out into the forest away from camp. They strolled side by side for a bit in companionable silence, their shoulders occasionally brushing each other as they strode along. Finally, Menarin broke the silence, "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

Elandria looked over at him in the pale light of the moon. "Tell you what? About the Lenayath?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied. "I thought we were friends."

"We are friends," she said. "I just didn't really think about it as it mostly concerns Torin and Kellin."

Menarin reached out, took her arm, and swung her around to face him. "Are we more than friends?" he asked softly as he took her face between his hands and pressed his lips to hers.

Even though Lanaya had mentioned something about the rumors about her and Menarin flying through camp, Elandria hadn't taken them seriously, so she was caught off guard when he kissed her. Menarin kissing her was nothing like when Alistair had kissed her. Part of it was the fact that Menarin was barely taller than she was while Alistair had been both much taller and larger. He had always had to bend over to kiss her and would sometimes hold her against his chest and lift her off the ground after she had wrapped her arms around his neck. She had always felt like Alistair enveloped her when he kissed her, like he was touching her everywhere. It was so much more than just a meeting of their lips.

She pushed Menarin away as she realized she felt nothing for him. There was no quickening of her heart, a burning desire for him, or the connection she had always felt when Alistair touched her.

Menarin looked at her accusingly as she broke their embrace, "You're still in love with that human, aren't you?" he asked.

"Even if I was, it is none of your business," Elandria said coolly.

"If he was half the man you thought he was, he would be here begging you to come back to him and wanting to be the father Kellin needs. Maybe then, Kellin wouldn't need Torin to protect him," said Menarin hotly.

Elandria rounded on him, "You know nothing about this situation. Kellin's father thinks I'm dead and knows nothing about his son. Don't judge someone on what you perceive from appearances."

"I'm sure he is just like every other shem male out there, willing enough to take one of our beautiful and graceful elven women to bed while it was convenient, but not willing to put himself out for anything more meaningful. Am I wrong?" he asked snidely.

Elandria felt a stab as his words were awfully close to the truth, even though her and Alistair's situation had been complicated by the kingship issue. "I can assure you Kellin's father isn't just like every other shem male," she asserted. That was certainly true enough. No one else was king of Ferelden.

"Elandria, it's been over three years, isn't it time you moved on? Your life is here with the clan now, and I think we could be very good together."

"I've always known my time here in the forest was temporary, Menarin. I must admit I've been here longer than I expected, but it has been a good life for Kellin. He is growing up happy, and I've made some good friends. However, the fact is that I'm soon going to leave the clan, so this isn't exactly the time to be starting a relationship with anybody. Besides, you deserve someone who can give you a family, a home. I can't do that," stated Elandria.

"What do you mean?" asked Menarin.

Elandria sighed heavily, "Menarin, do you have any idea what it means to be a Grey Warden?"

"It means you fight against darkspawn," he said.

"Yes," she agreed. "But there is a lot more to it than that. If I'm very lucky I have around twenty-five years left to live. If I'm not, I have less."

"What!" exclaimed Menarin. "That's so young!"

"Yes, and not only that," Elandria divulged, "I can't have any children."

"What you mean you can't have children? You have Kellin."

"Kellin's birth was truly a miracle. I should be dead right now; I almost was. The only reason I'm not is because I was pregnant with Kellin when I put that sword through the dragon's head. When we are made Wardens, we take in part of the darkspawn taint. Children can't survive carrying the taint. Kellin did only because the death of the Archdemon destroyed that tainted part inside him. There will be no more children for me," said Elandria sadly.

She continued, "Even with our rocky start, I've come to like you a great deal these past weeks, Menarin. I consider you a friend, but it can't ever be more than that. I'm sorry."

They continued walking on for a time. Finally, Menarin said, "Well, you can't blame me for trying."

Elandria couldn't help but smile, "No, I guess I can't," she replied and then turned the conversation to the upcoming training exercise.

* * *

Usually, she fell asleep quickly, but that was not to be the case that night. The scene with Menarin had stirred up reminiscences of Alistair. She tried to keep thoughts of him locked away in the far corners of her mind, as it did her no good to go over and over the old memories. She couldn't help wondering if Alistair loved his queen and if she had given birth yet. Even if somewhere deep inside her Elandria held on to some kind of twisted hope that she and Alistair could ever get back together, she knew the birth of his legitimate child would spell the end of that dream forever. She had to learn to accept the fact that there was no happy ending for her. She would be alone until her death came, most probably at the end of a darkspawn weapon.


	21. Heartbreak and Loss

_A.N.: I've known since I was writing Chapter Three and came up with the whole concept that Elandria was still alive for Chapter Four that the events in this chapter were going to happen. I've been dreading writing it, and yes, it was as difficult as I thought it was going to be. I've included an explanation at the end of this chapter of my view of the taint and how it works for those who wonder about the way I've written this part of the story. _

_Thanks to melismo, who made major contributions to this portion of the story. _

_WARNING: This chapter deals with the loss of a child. Contents may be upsetting to some readers. _

* * *

When Wynne left her room, she immediately went looking for Alistair, carrying Moira cradled against her shoulder. As she rushed through the halls to Alistair's quarters, she repeatedly patted the baby's back and crooned, "Hush, now," although the child wasn't making a sound. When Wynne finally arrived outside Alistair's door, it was only to be told by the single guard on duty there that the king had already left his rooms that morning. The guard thought that the king was down on the lower floor in an "unofficial" meeting in one of the informal reception areas. Wynne didn't waste any time in hurrying down to find Alistair.

When she finally found him, she was so agitated that she burst right in the doors without even knocking. The guards stationed outside all knew she was a close friend of the king's, and none of them were willing to bar her from the room when she had saved the queen's life the day before. "Alistair," she barked (another measure of her agitation as she _always_ called him your Majesty in front of others), "I need to talk to you right now."

"What's the matter, Wynne?" Alistair asked, catching her anxiety and rising from his chair. He didn't even bother excusing himself to the four men in the room. "Is it Moira?" He grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her into the next room, which was a private office off the reception area, and shut the door behind them.

"Here," said Wynne. "You take her." She proceeded to lay the child in his arms. "Sense her," she commanded.

"What do you mean 'sense her'?" asked Alistair, with an expression of horror on his face as he realized where Wynne was going with this.

"Like for darkspawn," she confirmed.

Alistair just looked at Wynne, as he really didn't want to do what she was asking him. "No, Wynne," he begged. "Please, don't make me do this."

"Alistair, you are the only other person in the palace who might be able to sense what I thought I did. Maybe I'm wrong. You _must_ do this." Wynne replied as kindly as she could. "We have to know for sure."

Alistair sat in one of the chairs in the room. He then closed his eyes and bowed his head over his infant daughter. For a moment, he just enjoyed the fresh baby scent of her along with her weight in his arms. Finally, extremely reluctantly, he extended his Grey Warden senses out to encompass Moira. When the slightest tingle fired his blood along with the sour taste that started in his throat, it broke his heart. He let out an anguished cry of denial, "NO, Maker NO, not my little girl," he screamed as huge sobs tore out of him, and the tears ran down his face.

Wynne came over to him with tears starting in her own eyes and pulled his head against her. She just held him for a few minutes, stroking his hair, until the worst of the wracking sobs passed. Finally, she said, "Here Alistair, let me have her."

"No," he snarled, pulling away. "She stays with me."

"Let me at least see if I can ease her breathing," she said calmly. "You may hold her, but let me try to help her."

Alistair agreed to that so Wynne slid one hand under the baby's undergarment right over Moira's bare chest and lightly placed the fingertips of her other hand on the baby's head as Alistair continued to hold her. She cast her monitoring spell, concentrating on what was happening with Moira's lungs. She was able to ease the baby's breathing a bit, but Wynne knew it was only temporary. The taint would have its way in the end, and she, one of the most talented healers the Circle of Magi had ever produced, was helpless to prevent it.

Once she had stabilized the baby's breathing, Wynne left Alistair with his child to go clear the outer room of the men Alistair had been meeting with. Once she shepherded them all out making some trite excuse, she told the guards that they would be going to the queen's chambers shortly and to be ready to fall in around them when she and Alistair left the room.

While Wynne was gone, Alistair sat heartbroken, soundlessly rocking his daughter and holding her close, unable to believe he was going to lose her so soon after her birth. He stared down at her trying to memorize everything about her, from the perfection of her little fingers to the tiny rosebud mouth. Alistair was concentrating so hard on Moira he barely registered when Wynne came back into the room. She tugged him up out of the chair and led him through the halls back to Briana's quarters. She had one of the guards go first, clearing the passageways so no one would bother the grieving king.

Once they neared Briana's rooms, Wynne asked Alistair if he wanted her with him when the queen was told the news. Alistair said he did, that he wasn't sure he could do it. Wynne looked at him, sorrow in her eyes, and told him she would tell Briana if he wanted her to. Alistair just nodded, the misery plain to see in his eyes and face.

When Wynne and Alistair entered the room, Briana was still in bed as ordered, but turned to them with a smile. "How's our girl this morning?" she asked before noticing the shared countenance of Wynne and Alistair. When she did, her smile faltered. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Wynne went over to the bed and said down on the edge beside Briana. She took Briana's hand in hers. "Briana, I have some terrible news," she said softly.

Briana's eyes flicked from Wynne, to Alistair, and back to Wynne's face. "What is it?" she asked fearfully.

"It's Moira," Wynne replied. "She has the taint."

"What-but you said she didn't. No-NO, that can't be right," Briana's voice rising with each syllable as she tried to get out of bed.

Wynne firmly pushed her back and said, "Alistair, bring Moira here and let your wife hold her."

Alistair looked like he wanted to refuse, but he reluctantly came to the bedside. Briana reached up and took Moira from him. "See, she's fine. She's just sleeping," Briana said.

"Alistair, tell her," commanded Wynne.

"It's true, Briana," he said dully, "I've sensed it myself."

"This is your fault, Alistair," she cried at him. "Get away from us!" She took the baby and rolled as far away from the side of the bed where he was standing that she could.

Wynne cast a quick look at Alistair and saw him, standing hunched at the bedside with his head bowed, ready to take whatever abuse Briana threw at him. "Hush, Briana," she demanded. "This is not Alistair's fault. It's nobody's fault. It's just what happened. Don't take your anger and hurt out on him. I assure you he feels bad enough on his own. The next few days are going to be difficult. You two cannot be at each other's throats. Do you both understand me?" she finished.

Wynne looked at Alistair, and he just nodded without looking at her. Wynne sighed as she knew he would carry enough guilt all by himself without Briana having to say one word. "Briana, what about you?" she asked.

"Fine," she snapped. "Although I don't believe you. I'm sure you are both wrong, and she is fine. You'll see." She turned her attention to Moira and started humming to her.

Alistair continued to just stare at the baby. Wynne had never seen such a look on his face in all the years she had known him. It was like there was no life in him at all. Wynne realized that she was going to have a tough couple of days on her hands as she didn't trust these two alone together. She also had to watch Briana closely to make sure she recovered from the bleeding and trauma that had occurred with Moira's birth. On top of that would come the care the baby would require as her condition deteriorated. Wynne went to the door to start sending pages scurrying through the palace with messages and directives.

The next two days passed with an agonizing slowness as all normal activity in the palace ground to a halt. Everyone was in shock over the news about the little princess. The king, queen, and princess never left the queen's chamber, and Wynne spent most of her time there as well. Alistair and Briana seemed to want her present, and there was no one else she trusted to keep the peace between them.

Eventually by the end of the first day, even Briana had admitted that something was wrong with Moira. Although they had the wet nurse in numerous times, Moira refused to take any milk. Alistair and Briana continued to take turns holding her. Eamon and Teagan both came by a few times to visit, but neither man knew what to say or how to offer comfort. Dalla was present much of the time as well to help assist Wynne. The two had bonded during Briana's delivery and worked well together. Glenda remained nearby, ready to offer her aid for anything that was needed. The other servants were in and out bringing meals and such, but even Wynne couldn't talk Alistair into eating anything. He either sat in a chair by Briana's bed holding his daughter and gazing down at her, or he watched Briana hold her.

As Moira's breathing continued to worsen, her heart beat also became rapid and thready. Each time Wynne cast her spells on the baby to try and ease her, they were lasting a shorter and shorter period of time. As time drew on and Moira's condition declined, Alistair became quieter and was barely speaking to anyone, and Briana became more upset and vocal. She started begging Wynne to do something, anything to help her child. Wynne felt awful as she tried to explain to Briana that she couldn't heal the taint.

Finally, shortly before dawn on what would have been Moira's third day of life, it was all over. Briana had been holding her and was dozing when Wynne detected that Moira was dead. Wynne tried to take Moira from Briana before she woke, but Briana immediately roused when Wynne touched her. When Briana looked down and saw that Moira wasn't breathing, she let out a scream of anguish that seemed come from her very soul. She rolled away from Wynne as far as the bed would allow her to go, hugging the baby to her and screaming "NO" over and over. When Wynne followed after her on the bed, Briana started struggling against her.

"Dalla, get the sedative potion, now!" commanded Wynne. She raised her voice and yelled, "Guards!" as loud as she could. The door to Briana's room opened as three of Briana's guardsmen came into the room. "Help me with her," demanded Wynne.

Between the three guards and Wynne, they managed to curb Briana's grief-induced struggles. Wynne took Moira from her and handed her off to Glenda, as Briana's guards restrained her as gently as they could. Dalla and Wynne coaxed Briana into taking some of the sedative draught they had prepared ahead of time for this moment.

When Wynne spared a moment's thought for Alistair, she turned around to find his chair empty. He had disappeared without a trace.

* * *

_A.N.: My idea of how the taint works and how it affected baby Moira: First of all, I'm a lay person, not a scientist, so if my supposition goes against scientific reasoning, please forgive me. When I read a story, I always want to know why something is happening and how. I HATE stories where everything happens by "magic," and there is no logical explanation. As I was developing this portion of the story and I knew that Alistair's and Briana's child wasn't going to survive, I had to devise a reasonable explanation for how it all unfolded. (After all, if I don't know how it works, how can it be believable to you, the reader?) Plus, one of my big questions with Dragon Age has always been if the taint is carried in the body's systems, why isn't it contagious with sexual contact? So, I've come up with an explanation that satisfies all my questions about the taint. I hope it works for you as well. _

_When ingested, Darkspawn blood converts portions of the host's DNA, changing it to that of a darkspawn, causing blight disease, and in most cases continues to replicate and spread through the host's body until overload. The person either dies or heads underground to join the darkspawn (becoming a ghoul). _

_As far as the Joining of the Grey Wardens, the vial of darkspawn blood is the first required element. The addition of the drop of Archdemon's blood (the second secret element we discover from Riordan) used at the Joining changes the effect of the normal darkspawn conversion of DNA to what I'm calling the Grey Warden variety (allowing the sensing of darkspawn and the various other abilities that seem to develop, such as from Avernus' research). From Duncan's dialogue at Ostagar, we know that mage spells are the third requirement in the Joining. I'm supposing that these spells cause the "freezing" of the DNA conversion so that the cells that are created from the Grey Warden's converted DNA are inert. Thus, there is no overload of taint present in the Warden's body until the spells "wear off" and the Calling begins, approximately thirty years later, when the cells the converted DNA are producing become active again. This explains why some die at the Joining. Their bodies couldn't handle the DNA conversion. _

_This would also explain why you can't become a Grey Warden from having sex with one. The DNA conversion has already happened and is stable until such a time as the Calling begins. Thus any tainted cells passed in the sex act are inert and not replicating. In the case here of Alistair's baby, she has had the bad luck to inherit some of his genes that were converted at his Joining. The converted DNA was inherited, but not the stability from the mage spells. As such, she basically has blight disease as these cells continue to reproduce unchecked. _

_The reason Wynne couldn't sense it until about a day after Moira's birth is because Briana's body was clearing the taint from her system through the placenta as it was released into the baby's body from the converted DNA. Since Briana's body mass was much larger than the baby's and there was no initial buildup to begin with, the tainted cells that Moira was producing were just cleared by Briana's body without affecting her. Once the baby was born and her systems were on their own, they couldn't handle the overload of the converted cells, and so the taint started building up, thus giving Moira blight disease and allowing Wynne and then Alistair to start sensing it as more and more of it built up in the child's body. _

_There you have it. My simple version of the why of what happened to Moira. _


	22. Elandria's Desire Demon

_A:N: I figured we all could use a treat after poor Moira's death, so we get to see a little bit of Alistair and Lanie before the Landsmeet. This chapter is first person told from Elandria's viewpoint. _

_Warning: This chapter is for adults only. No kiddies! Best not read at work either. _

* * *

After my conversation with Menarin and my thoughts of Alistair tonight, I should have expected it. I should have known. I should have been _prepared_, but I wasn't.

When I stepped into the Fade that night, I knew right away it was a desire demon. Never mind the fact that it was wearing _his_ face and body; I knew. As I looked around, I recognized this memory, and it was a good one. When it said, "Please, Lanie," in _his _voice with just a trace of that little boy begging _he _had always done so well, I couldn't resist. I knew it was dangerous; I knew it was wrong-but I did it anyway-I acquiesced.

A smile I had never seen on my Alistair's face spread across its face as it realized it had won, at least for this one night. The demon extended its hand. I reached out and took it with my own, and that fast, I was there on that day, reliving it all again, as if it were the first time.

* * *

_I slowly came awake to the realization that making love on hard-packe__d earth w__as tough on the body, no matter how many bedrolls or blankets were between you and the ground. Not that I was complaining, mind you. I wouldn't have given up last night's activities for anything, even if you told me I wouldn't walk for a week. Somehow, it had turned out that neither of us had watch last night. It couldn't have had anything to do with the fact that Alistair made up the watch list each evening. _

_We had retired to our tent early to the grins of the others in the camp. None of them had been fooled when Alistair suggested stopping instead of pushing on into Denerim. It had been early enough in the afternoon that we could have made it without getting into town too late that night, but Alistair knew how much I loved this campsite. It was always our last night's stop on the way into Denerim. It was a glade in the middle of a stand of trees with a small pond close enough for convenience, but far enough away for privacy. As it was now late summer, the pond was still warm from each day's sun. With knowing sighs, the others had "reluctantly" agreed to stop early and rest here for the night. _

_We were on our way back from Orzammar. We had returned there once again at the request of Master Ignacio to kill Ambassador Gainley, and we had been traveling hard and fast to get back to Denerim. Alistair and I hadn't had much alone time, beyond a few "quickies" at the end of a weary day's travel before dropping into much needed sleep's embrace, and it wasn't very satisfying to either of us. I knew Alistair planned to take full advantage of the break in our travels. _

_I hadn't been wrong. The tent flap was barely secured behind me when I felt his arms close around me. "Somebody's wearing too many clothes," he had said huskily. I had agreed and told him I wasn't the only one. Things had progressed from there as it was almost a race to see who could get naked first. He won, barely. At this point we had been lovers for months, so I knew what game he wanted to play when he laid me out on the ground below him. "Don't move," he commanded, and I hadn't. I had laid there while he used all his new-found knowledge to touch me in all the ways he knew I liked best: His lips caressing mine and demanding entrance; the lave of his tongue up to the point of my ear; his fingers kneading a nipple hard enough to be just shy of the point where pleasure became pain and then later dropping between my legs to stroke and fondle; his tongue again, flickering between my folds as I couldn't hold my hips still anymore; the strength of his hands and arms as he forcibly held me still while I begged him for more; the gravel tones in his voice when he had told me to come for him and I had; and finally, the taste of myself as he returned to kiss me again long and lovingly. _

_Then it was his turn. Because I knew he liked to see me touching him, I made a pile of our clothes for him to lean against, and I put his hands behind his head and told him not to move. I straddled his body as I began with soft, light kisses covering his face and then licked my way down his neck to his chest. I could feel how much he liked it as I felt him grow hard underneath me. I slowly extended my tongue to flick against first one nipple and then the other. I met his eyes and could see the desire and love as he gazed into mine. I heard him groan as I continued to attend to him and ran my hands down his stomach and lower to grasp and knead his shaft. I felt his body start to quiver as I followed my hands with lips and tongue. I continued to minister to him, always making sure he had a clear view. After much begging and pleading on his part and much teasing on mine, I finally allowed him his release. _

_Afterwards, he had dragged me up to hold me against his chest, telling me I drove him insane. It was funny though, when I offered to stop, he didn't seem pleased with that idea either, so I told him he would just have to be crazy. Gradually, our light banter gave way to more kisses and caresses as we spent the next few hours alternating between loving each other and resting, constantly intertwined together, before both of us drifting off happy and content. _

_Thus my condition when I first woke this morning. There was an odor in the air that was without a doubt less than fresh, and I was sticky and sore all over. I could tell it was still quite early, so I decided to head for the pond and see if I could clean up some. I looked over at Alistair as he lay sleeping beside me. The rise and fall of his chest was deep and even. I slowly eased myself away from him as I wanted to let him sleep as long as he could. With a snicker to myself, I figured he needed it, the poor dear. _

_The closest thing I could find to put on was his shirt. Since it enveloped me and came halfway down my legs, I figured that was as good as anything to wear to my bath. I planned to be out and back before most of our companions were up and stirring. I quietly picked up my pack and exited the tent. I removed a towel and a small sliver of soap from my pack and left it on the ground by the tent flap. I pulled on my boots, which I had left just outside the entrance when I had entered last night. _

_When I emerged from our tent, no doubt tousled and rumpled, Wynne was the only one up. She was in the center of the glade where the communal campfire was currently merrily crackling away. This was a decent-sized glade, no doubt kept that way by the travelers who stopped here. It was about 100 x 200 feet and surrounded by hardwood trees on all sides. Our tent had been set up the farthest from the others, for obvious reasons. Judging from the scent of the pot she was working over, Wynne was restocking our supply of healing poultices. We exchanged a polite greeting, and she gave me a smile as I continued on my way. I didn't have the slightest doubt she knew exactly where I was going and why._

_As I hit the slight trail that twisted and turned through the trees heading towards the pond, I could hear that the birds were already up and flitting around as their songs followed me down the path. A woodpecker was energetically tapping away in the distance. As I approached the pond, I heard the voices of the frogs croaking to each other, and I smelled the spearmint that grew along the small stream that fed it. I made a slight detour to the spearmint plants to use the leaves to freshen my mouth, which was a definite improvement. From previous visits, I knew the pond had what was almost a shelf along the edge on one side and that the water was deeper out towards the center. I headed for the side where the shelf was and pulled off Alistair's shirt as I drew near. I hung it from a limb of a small birch tree that grew not far from the edge, along with my towel. I took off my boots and left them there as well. _

_As I walked into the water carrying my bit of soap, it was cool, but not bone-chillingly cold. I steeled myself and dunked entirely under the water. I applied soap to my hair first and then ducked back under to wash it out. I had just stood up to wash myself when I heard him moving behind me. I continued with my ablutions, as I pretended that I didn't hear him._

_Alistair and I were the king and queen of make-believe. We pretended so many things. We pretended it didn't matter that he was a prince and I was as common as the dirt beneath his feet. We pretended it didn't matter that he was human and I was an elf. We pretended it didn't matter that I was a mage and he an almost-templar, but the biggest pretense of all was that we could have a future together. That was the one I _knew_ would break my heart one day, but that day wasn't today. So pretending I didn't hear him moving behind me, that one was easy. _

_"Stealing is a crime, you know," I heard him drawl. _

_I turned sideways in the water to give him my profile. I saw his eyes follow my hands as I tilted my head back and applied the soap to my neck, over my breasts, and down along my stomach. "Tis it now? And what, kind ser, have I stolen?" I asked innocently._

_"Besides my heart, you mean?" he questioned as he took off his pants, which was the only thing he was wearing. _

_That comment earned him a smile as he came over and kissed me on the forehead and took the soap from my hands. He wet his hands and the soap and began rubbing my back with it. _

_"Yes," I said. "Your heart doesn't count because you just exchanged it for mine," I replied._

_He cocked his head as he pretended to consider that and then said, "Well, I guess I'll have to give you that one. But you cannot deny that you, cruel creature that you are, stole my shirt. You caused me undue mental distress as I had to stroll through camp exposing myself to anyone who happened to look."_

_I closed my eyes as I enjoyed the touch of his hands on my body. "Hum, there is that, isn't there? Well, if it caused you such distress, you can wear your shirt when we go back. I'm sure Zev won't mind," I offered._

_"Like that's going to happen." He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I think I will have to come up with some way for you to make it up to me."_

_"That sounds promising," I said as he finished soaping everything on me that was above the water and moved his hands to my breasts. I tilted my head back and opened my eyes to look up at him._

_"What?" he said ."I'm just making sure you're clean."_

_"Your turn," I declared as I took the soap from him and put a hand on his shoulder to indicate he should dunk down into the water. _

_He obediently ducked under the water and came back up sputtering and spraying water everywhere. "That's cold!" he protested._

_"Don't be a baby," I said as I started rubbing the soap on his chest and shoulders. I quickly lathered him up, only lingering slightly on my favorite areas of his body. I took his hands pulling him down under the water with me one more time. I twisted and turned to rinse all the soap off my body and then broke the surface once again. He was right with me as in unspoken accord we left the water. We hustled to the tree where our towels were hanging and quickly dried off. _

_I went back to a spot closer to the pond, stretched my towel out on the ground, and lowered myself to the ground. Alistair came up behind me, surrounding me as he too sat down, stretching his long legs out to either side. I settled back against him and shut my eyes. We were both quiet for a bit enjoying the early morning sun on our skin and the quiet company of each other. His hands began to move from where they had been resting quietly on my stomach, as he started running just the fingertips of his right hand from my stomach, across my hip, as far down my leg as he could comfortably reach, and back up again. His left hand moved up and almost lazily began to play with my breast and nipple. _

_"Alistair, what are you thinking?" I asked._

_"I'm thinking if anyone comes this way from camp they are going to get an eyeful," he replied._

_"Wynne knows we are here. She would warn them off," I said._

_"Good point," he acknowledged and then dropped his head to capture the tip of one of my ears in his mouth. Few humans realize what an erogenous zone that is for us, but of course, he knew. I bucked against him as a bolt of pure pleasure shot through my body as he began to suck and lightly bite up and down my ear. His hands became more purposeful as his right hand moved to play between my legs._

_"Alistair," I moaned, voice thick with desire. After a few minutes, I couldn't take it any longer, and I turned around to face him and crawled up into his lap. I reached up and put both hands on the sides of his face and brought his mouth down to meet mine, as his arms circled around and pulled me closer to him. Our tongues tangled and I felt him grow hard against me. I ran one hand behind his neck so I could thread my fingers through the hair at his nape. My other hand I ran down his body and grasped him. I heard his gasp as I began to work his erection. He broke our kiss, resting his forehead against mine as I continued to slowly stroke him up and down._

_"Maker, do you have any idea what you do to me?" he asked._

_"I love you, Alistair," I said softly._

_"I'll love you forever, Lanie," he pledged._

_"You know the rules. No promises we can't keep," I reminded him._

_"I can keep this one. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I know you will always hold my heart."_

_"Oh, Alistair," I replied as I felt the tingle of tears forming in the corner of my eyes. "You will always be my other half. I'll love you forever as well," I promised him in return, though I knew the likelihood of us having a future together was diminishing as each day passed. If things went as Arl Eamon hoped at the Landsmeet, Alistair would be beyond my reach forever. _

_His lips softly caressed mine as the mood of our lovemaking changed, becoming more tender. I tried to show him through my touch exactly how much he meant to me. I ran my hands lightly over his chest and shoulders as he continued to kiss me deeply, but without any urgency. I felt his hands running over me as he moved them from my back, up to cup my cheek in his hand, and finally back to my breast. I dropped a hand down to start stroking him again, and I felt him grow even harder in my hand. I raised my hips up over him and lined myself up so I could take him inside me. I gradually lowered myself over him a little bit at a time, advancing and retreating, as I watched the expression on his face._

_I had made it about halfway down him when started begging, "More Lanie. Please. More." I took pity on him, and the next stroke I slid all the way down his length. When I wrapped my legs around his body and began to rock against him, I thought he was going to explode. He held me locked against him with one arm as he turned and laid me on the ground on our towels, still buried inside me. _

_He took his weight on his knees and in his arms as he took control now, withdrawing and thrusting in a slow, steady rhythm. It was my turn to whimper and plead as he continued his assault upon me. "Faster," I begged._

_"No."_

_"Harder," I beseeched him._

_"No, you don't want it enough yet."_

_I managed to stifle my pleas by concentrating on placing kisses and light bites on his upper chest, as he continued his slow rhythm. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and implored him again, "Please, Alistair." Whatever he heard in my voice must have worked because he began driving into me. The intensity was building rapidly now as the sensations his powerful thrusts caused drove both of us to a fevered pitch. I heard the raggedness of his breathing and felt his whole body stiffen as I knew he was about to orgasm. I tightened my body as much as I could around him as his last stroke drove me over the edge with him. "Alistair!" I screamed in ecstasy, as it felt like my whole body came apart in little pieces. _

"Mamae!" yelled Kellin. I jolted awake and then shut my eyes as it took my brain a minute to catch up from being in the Fade making love with Alistair to back in the real world with our son. "Look what I got! It's a worm! See! See!" Kellin was almost dancing with excitement. "Torin's taking me fishin'," he informed me and then climbed up on my bed eager to share the worm he did indeed have in his hand. After I had dutifully proclaimed the worm the best specimen I had ever seen, Kellin was off again, back to Torin, ready to head out for his fishing expedition.

I laid in my bed a bit longer after Kellin left. I could almost feel that first tenuous hold the desire demon now had on me. Was it worth it? Without a doubt. Was I worried about the demon and its claim on me? Not particularly, I hadn't yet met the demon I couldn't defeat. Memories, however, were much harder to overcome.


	23. Grief in Denerim

_A. N.: Many thanks as always to Melismo and to everyone who continues to read, favorite, alert, and review this story._

* * *

Wynne told both Dalla and Glenda to stay with Briana while she went to look for Alistair. When she stepped outside of the room, Briana's guards were back at her door, but Alistair's men were gone from in front of his suite. "Did any of you see which way the king went?" she asked Briana's three guards, but none of them had. Since they had been in the room with her at the time, she really hadn't expected them to. Wynne wasn't sure where Alistair would have gone, but she headed off through the halls in the direction of the stairs so she could start searching. She asked everyone she passed if they had seen the king, but as it was so early in the morning, there weren't too many people in the corridors. It took her some time and getting lost twice in the dim passageways before she ran into an elven servant who thought he had seen the king and his guards heading towards the Landsmeet Chamber. _The Landsmeet Chamber? Why would Alistair go there? _

Regardless, she decided to check just to make sure. After all, she really didn't have anywhere else better to look. She approached and walked through the doors to the small entranceway where they had encountered Ser Cauthrien and her men that day years ago when so much had changed, both for the country and for their little party. She was rewarded by the sight of Alistair's guards all standing around the small entrance chamber.

"Adair, where's the king?" she asked.

"Am I glad to see you, Lady Mage," said Adair, relief evident in his voice. "The king's inside the main chamber."

"Is he alone?" Wynne asked.

"Yes," replied Adair. "When we left the royal suite, the king sent a page down to the wine cellar for a cask and a goblet, but we came directly here. Once we arrived, he sent Reilly, Michael, and Patrick in to do a sweep. They barred all other entrances and then returned out here where the king and I were waiting. By that time, the page had brought back his goblet and the cask of wine. He took both of them and told us that he was going inside and that we were not to enter regardless of what we heard. The king said the next person who went in the door he would have imprisoned in Fort Drakon for treason. It was quiet for a bit, but then we heard yelling and a lot of noise. It's been quiet for a while, but none of us were brave enough to go in."

Wynne sighed, "Thank you, Adair. I'll take care of it."

"If anyone can help him now, it's you," he replied. All Alistair's guards knew what good friends the king and the mage were. She was one of the few people who had unrestricted access to him any time she needed to see him. "Is the little princess gone?" asked Adair.

"Yes," said Wynne sadly. "She is."

"When we heard the queen crying out, I figured that's what it was. It's just not right. Our lord's been a good king. It's a real tragedy for all of Ferelden to lose her," he continued.

"Yes," Wynne said again, in agreement this time. "I'm going in to check on him now." With that, Wynne opened the door to the chamber and slipped inside.

Once she was inside, she paused a moment to let her eyes adjust. The entire chamber was only lit by a single candle. As she looked around, she saw that the room had been destroyed. There were piles of rubble everywhere as it appeared Alistair had smashed things to bits. The benches that had lined the edge of the chamber were all misshapen pieces of lumber. The tapestries that had been on the walls were pulled down and strewn around the room, some of them torn in pieces. _Oh Alistair, _she thought as she began picking her way through the she drew closer to the center of the room and the lit candle, she could see him. The area surrounding him was clear of all debris. He was sitting on a piece of wood that looked like it may have been a stool at one time, and he had his back to the door. She saw him tilt his head back as he took a pull of wine and then set the goblet down on the floor in front of him. He rested his weight on his arms, which he propped on his thighs. "Wynne?" he asked, without turning around.

"Yes, Alistair, it's me," she answered him as she came closer, being careful not to trip over anything.

"Thought so. I was betting either you or Eamon. No one else would have been allowed past the guards or would have been willing to risk Fort Drakon," he said. He reached down, picked up his goblet, and drained it. He then turned to the cask on the other side of him and refilled it. "Want some?" he offered. "I don't have another goblet, but you can share mine."

"No, thank you," Wynne replied. She rooted around and found a chair that he had somehow missed smashing. She righted it, carried it over, and placed it on the left side of Alistair. His wine cask sat on his right side. She sat down and then the silence stretched out between them as Alistair continued to drink steadily.

"Planning on a little re-decorating?" Wynne finally asked.

"They'll probably put this room back the way it always was." he said. "As if I ever could escape it," he continued in a low voice.

"Ah," said Wynne as a glimmer of understanding came to her. "I see."

"Do you?" he questioned, "I wonder." They both let the words hang in the air. Finally, he continued, "It was because of the events in this room that my life changed. Everything I ever was or wanted gone in a flash, and all I'm left with is this facade of a life. You know what happened right here, don't you?" he asked.

"What?" Wynne asked knowing that he needed to talk.

"As near as I can tell, this is the very spot I executed Loghain. They must have gotten the blood stain out of the floor. Pity that, I would have liked to have been sure. I know why Lanie made me kill him after she had defeated him. It was supposed to have been my first kingly act, executing a traitor. But you know what, I _wanted_ to kill him. I enjoyed it. I was so damn eager to kill him. I wonder if that is what I'm being punished for. He deserved it, but I haven't been really happy since that day, at least not until Moira was born. To give her to me and then take her away like that…" his voice trailed off as he turned again to his wine. Wynne saw his hand was shaking as he brought the goblet to his lips.

"Alistair," Wynne said softly with as much sympathy as she could put in her voice.

Alistair hurriedly continued, "And then there's Briana. It's not working out, her and I. I really thought it could at first. She was so sweet and I really liked her. She'll never forgive me for this, not that I can blame her. I'll never forgive myself."

"Alistair, it wasn't your fault Moira died," asserted Wynne.

For the first time since Wynne entered the room, Alistair turned to look at her. His eyes had always been filled with life and animation. You could almost see inside to the goodness he carried just by looking at him. The nothingness she saw reflected in his eyes now scared her. It was as if all the good things that made Alistair who he was had been drained away and the only thing left was a shell. "I killed her just by being her father," he said dully. "It's a fact, and nothing you can say will ever change that. I'll have to face it every night before I go to sleep and every morning when I wake up." He turned away to refill his goblet once again.

Wynne was at a loss. She hadn't expected this. She had expected him to be weeping and needing to be held and consoled. She didn't know how to handle this Alistair. He had changed much in the years she had been away from court, and she wasn't sure it was for the better.

"Alistair, how could you have known this would happen? It's not your fault. Please don't do this to yourself," Wynne pleaded.

Alistair was quiet for a bit and then said in a soft voice, "I've loved, truly loved, three people in this world, and they are all dead; Duncan, Lanie, and Moira. At least two of them, if not all three, died directly because of me. How do I live with that, Wynne? How many lives is the 'King of Ferelden' worth?"

"Alistair, you blame yourself for Elandria's death?" asked Wynne incredulously. "How could you do that? That certainly wasn't your fault."

"Isn't it? Who really should have been fighting the Archdemon? Who was the senior Warden? I wasn't even with her at the end. I should have insisted on going with her when she left the gates, but I didn't. I let her shoulder all the burden from Ostagar right up until the end on that rooftop at Fort Drakon."

"Alistair, look at me," Wynne said. She rose from her chair and grabbed him, forcing him to look into her eyes. "Elandria loved you. She understood why you ended your relationship with her, and she agreed. She could have made Anora queen, and you two could have continued on being together as just two Grey Wardens. She didn't because she knew it wasn't what was best for Ferelden. She knew it would tear the two of you apart, but she did it anyway. Don't second guess her."

"It doesn't matter now, anyway. Lanie's gone," he said as he wrenched himself away and reached for his wine again.

Wynne could tell he really didn't hear what she was trying to tell him. "Don't you think you've had enough to drink?" she asked.

Alistair paused in bringing the goblet to his lips. "No, I don't think I have. I'm not sure if all the wine in Ferelden will be enough." He proceeded to drain the goblet and turned back to the cask for more.

* * *

The next few days were difficult to say the least. The palace settled into silence and gloom that first day as the word spread through the servants and staff that the little princess had died. Instead of the normal sounds of voices laughing and joking in the passageways, there were hushed exchanges and weeping. Black crepe appeared as if by magic, draping anything left sitting still too long. All the servants were wearing black armbands. The upper levels of society went into "full mourning" for a period of two weeks. No parties would be held out of respect for the loss of the king and queen and Ferelden's heir.

Nothing was ever said to the king about the condition of the Landsmeet Chamber. The rubble was swept away. New benches and tapestries were brought out of storage and put into place. Indeed, when the servants were done, it looked much like it always had.

Alistair continued to drink prodigious amounts of alcohol, but he never seemed to be able to get drunk no matter how hard he tried. He would lay in his bed at night, staring at the ceiling, as the flickering of the flames in his fireplace caused shadows to twist and twine across the ceiling. He would see the outlines of his little girl's face in the shadows and would watch as they distorted and disappeared, just as she had. His heart cried out for his lost daughter, but there was no answer. His face grew lined. His eyes grew red from lack of sleep. He lost weight from not eating, but none of it mattered. The sense of wholeness and completeness he had felt when he had first held Moira in his arms had lasted only a day, but it's absence now is what shattered him. How cruel was it to let him know exactly what having a child was and then snatch that feeling away so soon? He wanted to scream; he wanted to rant. He wanted somebody to _pay_, but the only person who could was himself, so he paid. He paid in silence. He paid in misery. He paid in pain and agony and would keep on paying until he died. He was the one who had given Moira the taint that killed her, so it was only fair.

Wynne and Dalla kept Briana sedated for a day. When she was allowed to return to a more normal mental state, the first thing Briana insisted upon was changing her room. She said she didn't want to be in the room her daughter died in, but Wynne secretly wondered if she was running away from Alistair. She was moved to a guest chamber some distance from the royal suite. Wynne kept a check on her as she continued to recover from her delivery and had begun to get Briana out of bed and moving around. The day before Moira's funeral and the burning of her pyre, Wynne did an in-depth scan of Briana. Afterwards, she sent a message via a page to the Chancellor asking him to see her.

* * *

When Wynne was ushered into Eamon's study by his clerk for her appointment with the chancellor, she was surprised at the size. She had expected a larger, grander area. This was just a small room with a desk, a cabinet for storage, and a couple of extra chairs in front of the desk for anyone who had business to conduct with the chancellor. Eamon had been sitting at his desk, but politely rose and came around it to greet her. She saw the trepidation on his face. He knew she wouldn't have asked to see him if something wasn't wrong.

"Good afternoon, Senior Enchanter," said Eamon.

"It's just Wynne, Chancellor, please," she replied.

"Eamon," he said in return with a nod.

"I have something I would like to tell you, Eamon. Normally, I would have discussed this with Alistair or Briana, but the two of them aren't exactly themselves," Wynne stated.

"Please, sit down," Eamon said as he indicated a chair in front of his desk. "Would you like anything? I can have a page bring something."

"No, thank you," Wynne answered as she sat in the chair.

Eamon went behind his desk and sat back down in his chair. He leaned forward with his arms crossed and resting on the desk. "Now, Wynne, what can I help you with?" he questioned.

"First of all, I need you to promise that this stays between you, me, Alistair, and Briana. Not even your wife is to know this. Briana filled me in on how she learned about the taint from her."

Eamon winced. "I shouldn't have told Isolde. It just slipped out. I never expected she would mention it to anyone, much less Briana."

"Maybe you should be more careful about what slips out?" suggested Wynne. "Regardless, that is over and done with. I don't want the information I'm about to tell you making the rounds of the palace gossips. Do I have your word?" Wynne asked.

"I won't tell a soul," Eamon promised.

"Good," Wynne said. "How much do you know about what happened with Moira's delivery, Eamon?" she asked.

"I just know there was some trouble and you saved both Briana and the baby during the birth," he replied.

"Briana had started hemorrhaging, and for some reason I still can't identify, the birth wasn't progressing. I gave Briana ealik extract. The extract produces a very strong reaction in a woman about to give birth. It induces labor quickly, sometimes faster than the woman's body can handle. Quite often there is trauma to the mother when the child is born so rapidly. In Briana's case, we needed the baby delivered as quickly as possible. There was no question that Briana would have bled out if we had waited. We could have lost both her and the baby right there. I made a judgment call giving her the extract."

"What are you trying tell me, Wynne?" Eamon broke in.

"I did an in-depth scan on Briana this morning. The news isn't good. She definitely will have some scarring left over once she heals. She will have a hard time conceiving another child."

Eamon dropped back into his chair with a loud sigh and brought the heels of his hands up to cover his eyes before dropping them back into his lap. "Oh no," he groaned. "I don't want to hear this. Not now, on top of everything else."

"I'm not saying she can't get pregnant again. I'm saying it will be harder for her, and with Alistair's issues added in, well, I'm sure I don't have to spell it out for you. It took them two years to conceive the first time, even if they were both willing to try again," she said. "And I'm not sure that is going to happen. Their relationship seems to have completely broken down. I don't think they've seen each other since the baby died. Briana has moved to the guest room, and Alistair has just been so… so different."

"I know," said Eamon. "I've tried, but I can't seem to reach him. Somehow Alistair is still functioning and making intelligent decisions. How he is doing it, Maker only knows. I was shocked when he showed up for a meeting the day after Moira's death. I had asked Teagan to stay on and help thinking Alistair would take some time off, but Alistair insists he wants to work. He's drinking through the day while we are working, though. He's never done that before. It doesn't seem to affect him, but still, it looks bad. What a mess this whole situation is. I just don't know what is going to happen." He paused and then continued, "If you like, I will approach Alistair about your news after the pyre burning tomorrow. Let's see how they get along during the ceremony."

Wynne agreed that was the best plan and was relieved to leave it in Eamon's capable hands. With the change in Alistair since Moira's death, she wasn't as comfortable talking with him as she had been in the past. Yes, she decided, Eamon had been with Alistair since he became king over three years ago and was best suited to handle this.

* * *

Lanaya's clan was finally in the process of moving to the new lands near Ostagar that had been granted to the Dalish. Many of the other clans were already there and starting to settle in. Excitement was high as Elandria, Kellin, Torin, and the rest of the Dalish made their journey west. As they had been far east in the Brecilian Forest south of Denerim, they were actually following The West Road. The clan had stopped and made camp along an extended stretch of roadside one night when a royal messenger stopped to share a meal with Lanaya before heading on towards Lothering. After the messenger left, she went looking for Elandria.

She found Elandria around a campfire with her extended family of Kaneath, Vanora, Torin, and Kellin. They were just finishing their dinner when Lanaya walked up to the campfire. "Elandria, would you walk with me, please?" she asked quietly.

Elandria looked at Lanaya, able to tell by her tone that something was wrong. "Of course," she replied.

"I'll stay with Kellin," Torin said. "Go ahead." He made a waving motion with his hand and proceeded to start a story for Kellin about a boy and his halla.

Lanaya led Elandria off through the aravels and into the trees where they could have some privacy. It was dark that night, but the two elves didn't have any trouble seeing well enough to be able to get some distance away. "What is it?" Elandria finally asked.

Lanaya stopped walking and turned to face her. "There was a messenger who stopped and ate with us. He was on his way to Lothering. During dinner, he told me the gist of his news."

Elandria stiffened as she figured it was news concerning the birth of Alistair's child. "And?" she asked.

"The king and queen had a baby girl five days ago," said Lanaya.

"I see," said Elandria, turning away. "So, Kellin has a half-sister."

"No, he doesn't," said Lanaya.

Elandria turned back to her, "What do you mean?"

"The baby died two days ago."

Elandria was dumbstruck with shock for a few seconds before she replied. "Oh no, Lanaya! Poor Alistair. He'll be devastated." They were both quiet for a few moments, then Elandria asked, "What did the baby die from?"

Lanaya answered, "The messenger wasn't sure. Supposedly, they had one of the best healers from the Circle in attendance, but even she couldn't do anything."

"Poor, poor Alistair," Elandria murmured.

Lanaya left to head back to her aravel for the night. Elandria settled down on a convenient log that was lying on the ground near where she and Lanaya had talked. Her mind traveled back to a time she tried never to remember. The memory she always pushed away whenever it threatened to appear, what had happened after the Landsmeet.

_She had been in the dining room of Arl Eamon's estate with most of her friends. They had all been in high spirits as things had gone so well for them that day. When Alistair had walked into the room, there was some good-natured calling out of "Your Majesty," "King Alistair," and such. She had taken one look at his face and known whatever was coming was bad. He had ignored everyone else and come right to her side. _

_"We need to talk," he had said, taking her by her arm and leading her out of the dining room, without even giving her a chance to reply. He had pulled her down the hall into a small room whose details hadn't even registered on her. There he had proceeded to crush her heart. Now, years later, she barely remembered exactly what he had said, especially since she had tried so hard to forget. Something about needing an heir and her not being able to provide that. She just remembered that he wouldn't meet her eyes, not once during his whole speech. She had been so stunned he had done that to her then, in that way, without even fighting to try and stay together. He had finally mumbled something about needing to be alone. She remembered asking him to close the door on his way out. _

_When he was gone, she had collapsed to the floor. She had used an old trick she had taught herself years ago in the mage tower. When she had first gone to the tower, she had been so young and had cried herself to sleep at nights. The other older apprentices had made fun of her and called her crybaby. She had taught herself to cry by putting the sleeve of her nightshirt in her mouth. This caused her to keep her throat closed, and while she could still scream and wail, it muffled the noise greatly. By pulling her blankets over her head, the other apprentices hadn't heard her cry again. She had used that trick that day in Denerim. She had pulled the sleeve of her jerkin into her mouth, and she had screamed and cried while lying alone on the floor of the room. She'd had to stop herself from crawling after him and begging him not to leave her. She had curled into a fetal position and rocked herself for hours while quietly keening. How long she stayed there, she didn't know. When she had finally pulled herself together and crept off to her room, the estate had been quiet, and all her friends must have been in bed by that point._

How ironic was this whole situation now? She, the one he left behind because she couldn't give him a child, had a beautiful son. He and his wife, whom he had married for a child, had lost their baby. (Elandria refused to believe Alistair had loved his wife when he married her, even if he did now, as it had been so soon after her "death." Elandria knew in her heart Alistair had loved her.) Even though she would never admit it to anyone and she wasn't proud of it, she couldn't help a tiny feeling of poetic justice mixed in with her sympathy for Alistair. She would certainly never have wished his child dead, though. She sat on that log for some time as all these thoughts ran through her head. Finally, feeling calmer, she headed back to the campsite.

When she returned to the campfire, she pulled Kellin on her lap and held him for a long time. He proceeded to fall asleep, resting against her. As she looked down at him, she noticed how big he was getting. Before much longer, he would be too large for her lap. Her heart hurt for Alistair with the pain she knew he would be feeling from losing his daughter. She dropped a kiss on the soft skin of Kellin's cheek before resting her own against his. "The time's coming, little one," she whispered to him. "Soon, you'll meet your father," she promised.


	24. The Demon Returns

_AN: Here's another totally useless chapter as far as advancing the story, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Because I had requests for more of their past, I decided to bring our buddy, the desire demon, back. Melismo, thanks as always. _

_Here's your warning: This chapter isn't as steamy as the last time around, but there is still smut. They both are much more innocent, especially Elandria. We get to see her still very much a young girl here. _

_I've used some of the game dialogue mixed in with some of my own for Wynne and Alistair. I'm sure you will recognize it when you read it. I've taken a little creative license and made the talk with Wynne happen before the Warden and Alistair have "their special moment" instead of afterwards. _

* * *

It had been a few nights since I had encountered the desire demon in the Fade, so my guard was down. When I crossed the border between the real world and the foggy twilight vista of the Fade, I strode off to look for the normal territory of my dreams. Suddenly the path twisted in front of me. As I rounded the turn, I slowed. This looked familiar to me. I was in a forest, or the Fade's interpretation of a forest, without sound or smell. Suddenly, the demon was there, behind me, molding itself against me. I could feel its erection pressed against my lower back. It licked up my ear and said in _his_ voice, "Say yes."

This was getting dangerous. This would be the second dream if I allowed the demon to reenact the memory for me. I'd always heard that five was the danger. Five ties and the demon becomes strong enough to take you over. I still would have three ties that it would need, surely that was a sufficient margin of safety.

It switched its tongue to my other ear as it felt my hesitation, "Lanie," it whispered in _his_ voice. "Lay with me again, my love."

I groaned as it brought its arms around me and turned me to face it. Looking into Alistair's face, even though I knew it was the demon, I couldn't resist. "Yes," I whispered.

The demon took me back to that day that seemed so long ago, the day Alistair and I became lovers.

* * *

_I lowered my staff and looked around at the rest of my companions as the werewolves ran off. Alistair had taken some serious damage. His shield arm hung awkwardly at his side. He leaned on the point of his sword, breathing heavily. Zevran, the latest to join our party, was limping and had a long gash down his arm. Wynne looked tired and mana drained. I was sure I didn't look any better. "Let's set up camp," I said, even though we still had hours of daylight left. _

_We were currently in the Brecilian Forest hunting for a werewolf named "Witherfang." My brilliant idea to make a quick stop looking for the elves on our way to Denerim to see Brother Genitivi was turning out to be anything but quick, or brilliant for that matter. Once we finally found one of the Dalish clans, surprise, surprise, they needed help. But, they promised if we helped them with the werewolf curse, then they would help us against the Blight. We had left their encampment this morning, and this was the second group of werewolves we had fought today. I didn't think we would survive a third. _

_I went to Alistair first. I didn't like the look of his arm. I helped him remove his pauldrons so I could examine it. "Ow! That hurts," he complained as I tried to remove the armor from his left arm._

_"Sorry," I said. "It's almost off. There." I took his arm gently between my hands and probed slightly. I didn't think anything was broken, but I sent a healing spell tingling through my hands and into his arm. I glanced up at him then. He was staring down at me with a look I couldn't read in his eyes, and then he flushed red. _

_"Thanks," he said. "That feels better."_

_I quickly dropped my hands and nervously ran them down my sides. "You're welcome," I said. "Any other injuries I should look at?" I asked._

_"No," he said in a strained voice as he looked off to the side of me. "I'm fine. Nothing a good night's sleep won't fix."_

_"Okay then," I said, strangely relieved to be able to turn away. I saw Wynne had ministered to Zevran, although he must have said something to irritate her judging from the look on her face. _

_"Let's set up camp near that stream we passed a bit ago," I suggested. I grabbed one of Alistair's pauldrons and left him to carry the other._

_It took us a bit, but we finally had a mini-camp set up. After tents were up, Alistair and Zevran had pulled a bunch of deadwood into camp, and Wynne had started a pot of stew over the small fire we had built. Soon, the stew bubbled merrily, and I smelled the scent of the herbs she had used to flavor it. Alistair and Zevran had both stripped out of their armor and wore loose, comfortable clothes. They were beginning the arduous job of cleaning their armor. Wynne poked among the supplies. "Elandria," she called._

_"Yes, Wynne," I answered and headed over to where she knelt over her pack. _

_"We are really running low on healing poultices. Maybe we should have bought some of that elf root from Master Varathorn," she said. _

_I had made a judgment call on that. Our funds had run low at this point, and I hoped that we could find our own supply of elf root while we were in the forest. I wanted to save our meager coin for things we really needed. "How about we head into the forest and see what we can find while Alistair and Zev clean their armor?" I asked her._

_"Sounds good," she said._

_"Alistair, Zev, Wynne and I are going to look for some ingredients for healing poultices," I informed them. "We won't be long."_

_"Be careful," Alistair said. "Don't go far from camp."_

_"Yes, Father," I said teasingly. I grabbed my pack, and Wynne and I headed off. _

_As I followed Wynne into the forest, I let my mind wander to the subject that I've been fixated on lately, ever since he had given me the rose from Lothering two weeks ago, Alistair. Since then, we had spent a lot of time in each other's company, but neither of us had seemed willing to make that first move. Finally, the night before last, Alistair had kissed me. When he had, I'd felt the tingle all the way down to my toes. When he had said, "Maker's breath, but you're beautiful," I wanted to kiss him again, but I had been too shy to do it._

_"You're quite taken with each other, aren't you?" asked Wynne._

_"Uh-huh," I said dreamily while I wondered when Alistair would kiss me again._

_"It's hard not to notice the doe-eyed looks he gives you, especially when he thinks no one is watching. It's almost too sweet for my tastes, and I'm an old lady who should be making lace hearts and fuzzy blankets with animal motifs," Wynne continued._

_"Uh-huh," I said again._

_"Elandria," Wynne said. "ELANDRIA, are you listening?" _

_I jerked my attention back to Wynne, "I'm sorry, Wynne. What did you say?"_

_Wynne sighed, deeply. "I was commenting about you and Alistair," she stated._

_"Me and Alistair?" I said as I tried for innocence._

_"Yes, Alistair. The tall, handsome man who follows you every day and watches you incessantly, carries a shield, remember him?" Wynne asked _

_"He watches me, really?" I asked in delight when I picked up on what I considered her most important point._

_"Focus, Elandria," Wynne commanded. "I've noticed your blossoming relationship, and I wanted to ask you where you thought it was going. Alistair is a fine lad, skilled in battle, but quite inexperienced in affairs of the heart. I would hate to see him get hurt."_

_"Hurt, why would Alistair get hurt?" I asked to keep the ball in her court. _

_"You are both Grey Wardens, and he is the son of a king. You have responsibilities which supersede your personal desires," she stated._

_"Oh, I get it. I'm not good enough for him, being an elf and all," I said. _

_"Personally, I couldn't care less if you were a purple dwarf from Orzammar, but there will be people who care, especially if he ends up being king," she replied._

_"King? Alistair? You heard him at Redcliffe. He doesn't want to be king!" I said._

_"Sometimes what people's duty requires them to do and what they want to do are totally different things. You know that."_

_"Well, I love him," I declared. _Did I just say that? Did I really mean it? Yes, I did. I loved Alistair. He was the first thing I thought of in the morning and the last thing at night. I loved him.

_"Love is ultimately selfish. It demands that one be devoted to a single person who may fully occupy one's mind and heart to the exclusion of all else. A Grey Warden cannot afford to be selfish. You may be forced to make a choice between saving your love and saving everyone else, and then what would you do?" she asked._

_I did what I always did when on uncertain ground, I attacked back. "Why are you doing this, Wynne? Why are you trying to throw obstacles in our way?"._

_"Nothing is certain, not in these times. You cannot take anything for granted. I want you to be aware of this." _

_"I'm not taking anything for granted. What's wrong with grabbing a little happiness? I mean under your scenario, I'd better take what I can before I have to throw Alistair to the wolves!" I answered hotly. _

_"I have given my advice. Do with it what you will," she finished._

_"Fine, I've heard it. I'm going back to camp," I said and turned and rushed off, blinking back tears. I couldn't believe Wynne had said some of those things. Was she purposefully trying to hurt me? _

_I continued to stew all the way back. Zevran and Alistair both looked up in alarm when I stormed into camp. "What's the matter? Is Wynne all right?" asked Alistair._

_I threw him an angry look. "She's fine. The old biddy."_

_"What happened?" he asked._

_"Nothing," I said._

_"Elandria, what happened?" he tried again. _

_"NOTHING!" I yelled, then blushed in embarrassment. I was being an idiot in front of the man I had just realized I loved. Great. "I'm going for a walk," I said quickly, ducked my head, and scooted out of camp as fast as I could in the opposite direction from the way I had gone with Wynne just a short time ago. _That's done it. He'll be sorry he ever kissed me now. Who wants to kiss an idiot? _I felt tears start to form at the corner of my eyes. I walked faster, trying to blink them away. _

_I hadn't gone very far when I heard someone following me. "Elandria," Alistair called. "Wait."_

_I thought about rushing on. Maybe I could lose him in the forest and forget all about the mortifying performance I had just put on. _

_"Please," he said. _

_I reluctantly slowed down with that. He came alongside me, and we walked in silence for a bit. I tried to glance at him with my peripheral vision so he wouldn't see me looking at him, but I didn't have much luck. A breath I didn't even realize I held went out of me when he reached over and took my hand. _Maybe he likes idiots after all.

_"Now," he said. "What's the matter?"_

_I reluctantly answered him. "Wynne just said a few things I didn't like very much," I responded._

_"Like what?" he asked. _

_I felt like squirming, like a worm caught on a hook. "She said some things about you and me," I said cautiously. _

_He just looked at me and raised an eyebrow. When I didn't say anything, he prompted me, "What things about us?"_

_"Well, uh, let's see," I answered brilliantly as I tried to stall for time. "She said she thought we liked each other, and then basically that we shouldn't because we were Grey Wardens and it might interfere with our duty," I finished in a rush convinced my face was beet red at this point and too afraid to look at him. He hadn't dropped my hand yet, so I considered that encouraging. _

_"Humm," he said thoughtfully. "So-o-o, what made you upset? The part that Wynne would think we liked each other or the fact that she thought we shouldn't?" he asked._

Maker's breath, how did I answer that one? _He turned to face me and ran the forefinger of the hand that currently wasn't held firmly in mine down my cheek. "I know which one I hope it is," he said softly._

_I lifted my gaze to his, and the look I saw in his eyes about took my breath away. He slowly lowered his head to mine. I knew he was giving me time to back away if I wanted, but I certainly didn't want to do that! His lips were warm and as soft as a cloud upon mine when he kissed me. I froze, wanting this to go on forever, but not knowing how to show him that. I'd had zero experience with boys in the tower. I'd been First Enchanter Irving's star pupil, and I had spent all my time concentrating on my magic and being the best. I had never played the games some of the other apprentices seemed to enjoy so much. My only friend had been Jowan, and that hadn't turned out very well. I couldn't even figure out my best friend was a blood mage. _

_I finally settled on putting my arms around his neck as he had wrapped his around my waist to pull me closer against him. When Alistair opened his mouth, I was willing to go along with his lead. I must admit I was a bit surprised when he put his tongue in my mouth and licked me (a bit grossed out as well to be honest), but that soon passed. Before long, I was matching him caress for caress. I pressed myself against him, not truly understanding the overwhelming need to just be close to him. _

_He broke our kiss with a groan. "Elandria, I can't take much more of this," he said. _

_I wasn't exactly sure what he was talking about, but decided that I agreed. "Me either," I answered. _

_"I guess I really don't know how to ask you this. How do I say this? You'd think it would be easier, but every time I'm around you I feel as if my head is about to explode. I can't think straight. Here's the thing. Being near you makes me crazy, but I can't imagine being without you, not ever. I don't know how to say this another way. I want to be with you right now. Maybe this is too fast. I don't know, but I know what I feel."_

_"It's not too fast. I want to be with you too," I admitted to him. _

_"I wanted to wait for the perfect time, the perfect place, but when will it be perfect? If things were, we wouldn't even have met. We sort of stumbled into each other, and despite this being the least perfect time, I still found myself falling for you in between all the fighting and everything else. I really don't want to wait anymore. I've never done this before. You know that. I want it to be with you, while we have the chance. I'd like to be able to say that I threw caution to the wind at least once in my life."_

_"I've never been with anyone before either. I want you to be the first," I said softly, almost embarrassed. _

_"Come on," he said and took my hand again and led me further from camp. We walked for about fifteen minutes or so before he stopped. The whole time we had been walking the only thing I could think of was we were going to do _it_. Of course, the only thing I knew about _it_ was from gossip I had overheard in the tower. I had a general idea of what was involved, but I really hoped Alistair knew more than I did._

_He had stopped in a small area that was surrounded by tall brush and trees. This little bit of ground was clear of any sticker bushes and had some grass growing on it. It was like our own private bower. Alistair turned to me and said, "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. We could wait, if you wanted."_

_"No," I said. "I don't want to wait." I stepped closer to him and placed a hand lightly on his chest. He dropped his head so I could reach him for a kiss. Being a quick learner, I pressed my lips to his. He held my face still between his hands as he pulled back and placed light kisses over my eyes, the side of my face, my ears. I tilted my head back. He followed up that invitation, as he kissed my neck before he returned to my mouth and kissed me thoroughly again. _

_He breathlessly broke off our kiss. "Wait," he said. He pulled off his shirt, bent down, and placed it on the ground. "Here, sit," he said._

_As soon as he pulled off his shirt, I couldn't resist looking at him. I'd seen him without a shirt before, of course. You couldn't help it in camp. There was a certain lack of privacy the life of moving from camp to camp carried with it. This was the first time, though, that I had seen him without a shirt, knowing that I would soon be touching his body, and that excited me. His broad chest, the sculpted muscles running down to the top of his pants, the cords of the supple muscles of his arms, the paleness of his skin on his chest compared to the sun-kissed skin of his face, I feasted my eyes on all of it. I sat down as he indicated. He sat and faced me, to my right, as he leaned in to kiss me again. I leaned into him then and shyly put a hand on his bare chest. His skin was warm beneath my hand. I could feel the spring of his light coating of chest hair. I wanted to run my hands over his whole body, but I contented myself with lightly stroking his chest. His hand slid down from my cheek, and I felt him touch my breast through my mage robes. I wanted more. I wanted to feel his hands on my skin._

_I broke our kiss, "Here," I said and I showed him the hidden fastenings of my mage robes._

_"You don't know how many times I've wondered how you and Wynne, well honestly, mostly you, get in and out of those mage robes," he said. I could almost hear the laughter in his voice. _

_I smiled shyly up at him as I worked the fastenings loose, "Now, you know the secret." _

_I was nervous. I had never been undressed in front of a man before. I slowly shrugged out of my robes and was left in just my small clothes. I turned and laid my robes out on the ground along with his shirt so we could lie on them. I gave him my back so he could untie the strings on my breast binder. I could have done it myself, of course, but I was braver about taking off all my clothes with him behind me. I felt him fumble with the laces, but he finally had them loose. I pulled the binder away and tossed it lightly out of the way. After he had finished with my laces, he stroked my back with his hands. My breath caught as he brought his hands around me and cupped his hands around my breasts. He had sat down behind me and stretched his legs out on either side of me, so I leaned back against him. The first touch of his chest and stomach against my back without any clothes between us made me gasp. It was either that or the fact that his fingers had wandered up and grasped a nipple. I had to reprove him when he became a little too enthusiastic._

_"Sorry," he said as he blushed. "Still learning here too," he reminded me._

_For some reason, those words made me feel braver than I been up to that point. I turned around wanting him to kiss me again. The only problem was my legs were in the way. Alistair fixed that problem when he picked me up and sat me on his lap facing him with my legs extending over his hips. I pressed myself against him while he dropped his head to kiss me and it felt glorious. I loved the feel of his skin against mine. I wanted to rub all over him like a cat. I couldn't keep my hands still as I kept lightly stroking his shoulders, chest, and upper back. It wasn't long before I noticed a hardness pressing against the inside of my thigh. _

_"Elandria," he groaned. When he dropped his head to my breast, I couldn't help it, I bucked against him as a feeling I'd never experienced before shot into my lower body. I was even braver and started running my hands down his stomach to touch the top of his pants and back up again. As he continued to kiss my breasts, that made me want to rub my lower body against him. _

_"Alistair," I said in a low voice, "I want …," My problem was I didn't know what I wanted. Finally, I settled on. "I want you." _

_He raised his head and gently pushed me on my back onto my robes and his shirt. He looked at me for permission as his hands went to the small clothes that still covered my lower body. I raised my hips for him and he pulled them down and off. I turned my face away from him as he just looked at me. "Maker's breath, you're beautiful," he said._

_"Thank you," I said, still not able to meet his eyes. _

_His hands went to the drawstring of his pants as he removed them and his small clothes in one quick motion. I couldn't help it. I had to look, of course. I'd caught the rare glance of boys in the tower once or twice, but I hadn't expected him to be so big. _

_Alistair laid down beside me and gathered me against him. I loved being naked against him. I thought I could do nothing but spend the day just lying naked beside him enjoying the sensation of his skin on mine. He kissed me again. I was getting good at that by now, so I kissed him back. I felt his hands wandering across my body. I jumped when I felt him touch me between my legs. I'd never been touched there before. I felt the hesitation in his fingers as they explored unknown territory. I encouraged him by moaning when he had found a good spot to stroke as sensation slowly began to build. I ran my hand down his body and grasped him. His whole body jerked against me as he murmured, "Maker's breath," to himself again. I very lightly ran my fingertips over him, exploring him as he had done to me. I listened to his breathing and felt the movements his body made when I touched him. I wanted to learn what he liked best, what made him feel good. "Stop," he finally said. "You need to stop." I looked at him questioningly, but I allowed him to lift my hand and move it away from him. _

_He rolled over on top of me and settled between my legs with his weight on his arms. He dropped his head down and kissed me again, which caused me to respond eagerly. He brought his lips to my ear as he growled, "I want you." The tone of his voice made me want to grind against him._

_"Yes," I agreed breathlessly. "Now." _

_Alistair readjusted himself and he used one hand to guide himself to me. I swore to myself I'd never forget that first sensation of him sliding into me and then he hit a barrier. I tightened my arms around him as I felt him push against it. I gasped as a tearing, burning pain spread through my lower body._

_Alistair stopped immediately, "Elandria?" he said with a question in his voice._

_"Wait," I said as the first sharp pain started to recede. "Kiss me," I requested and he obliged. Soon, I forgot the pain as other sensations began to take over. I started moving against him and he must have taken that for encouragement. He began pushing against me again until at last he was buried all the way inside me. He stopped there and was still. I laid still as well as I listened to his breath race in and out of him. "Alistair?" I said._

_"So tight," he murmured._

Was that bad?_ "I'm sorry," I offered tentatively._

_"No," he said. "You feel so good."_

_With that, he began to move again. I felt those sensations I'd had earlier come back, stronger than before, and I began to encourage Alistair and match his movements. As Alistair continued to thrust in and out of me harder and faster, I felt like every nerve in my lower body was quivering, and I instinctively tightened my muscles as I wrapped my legs around his waist. Something was going to happen, but I didn't know what. This was much more intense than the vague sensations that had caused me to squirm some nights in my tent when I had thought about Alistair and kissing him. Suddenly, Alistair gave one more hard thrust and his whole body went rigid. I could hear the harshness of his breath in my ear. "Lanie," he moaned. "I love you, Lanie."_

_It was like someone had thrown cold water on me. I went completely still with shock, and all those good sensations melted away like ice in a heat wave. _Who was Lanie, and why was he with me if he loved someone else?_ I pushed frantically at him to try and get away. I turned my head so he couldn't see my face when I felt tears threaten. I couldn't believe Alistair would do something like this. I couldn't believe he would be with me and be in love with another woman. I bit my lip as I felt a sob trying to escape from my throat. He loved someone else._

_"Hey," he said. He tried to hold on to me as my attempts to get away from him had become more urgent. "What's the matter?"_

What was the matter? Like he didn't know?_ "What do you think is the matter?" I hissed angrily at him. "Who's Lanie? Some chantry whore you can't forget?"_

_He started to laugh. That made me stop crying because now I wanted to beat the life out of him. _Laugh, would he?_ I struggled twice as hard to escape him. He easily contained me, rolled over on his back, and forcibly brought me to lie against his chest._

_"It's you," he said. "You're Lanie._

_I froze for the second time in as many minutes. "Me?" I asked disbelievingly. _

_He loosened his grip on me and brought a hand up to stroke my hair. "Yes, well, you see," I could tell he was embarrassed about whatever he was going to say next. I knew if I lifted up my head to look at him his face would be red. I normally found him so cute when he was embarrassed. "I sometimes think about you as 'my Lanie,'" he mumbled. _

_"You do?" I said in wonder as all my anger melted away. I snuggled against him. "I like it," I declared, "but only for you."_

_"I guess that makes me special then, doesn't it?" he asked. _

_"Yes," I agreed. "Very special."_

_We were both quiet for a few minutes. There was a spot on his chest that seemed to be made just for me to lie in. I listened as his heart beat gradually slowed beneath my ear. He continued to stroke my hair as I thought about what he said. He said he loved me. Could it really be true? Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to know._

_"Did you really mean it?" I asked timidly._

_"Yes," he said. "I meant it. Do you think I would have-have been with you if I didn't?" _

_I smiled to myself as I lazily traced patterns on the skin of his chest. I now had a new hobby. I loved listening to the rumble of his voice in his chest while he held me securely against him. I wanted to keep him talking forever. "I love you too," I said softly, the admission made much easier by the fact that he couldn't see my face._

_I felt his hand pause in his stroking, "Really?" he asked with such a tone of hope in his voice it almost made my heart hurt for him. Judging from what little bit he had let drop about his upbringing, there hadn't been much love in his life. _

_"Of course, silly," I said suddenly exuberant as I teased him. "Do you think I would have been with you if I didn't? Do you think I hand my favors out like candy, good ser?" All was right in my world. I loved him and, miracle of miracles, he loved me._

_I could almost hear the smile as he said, "Of course not."_

_How long we laid there in silence together, I don't know. I was just enjoying being with him. Finally, he seemed to rouse and said, "You do realize the rest of our little party is going to talk, right? They do that."_

_"I don't care," I said. "Let them talk. I'm not ashamed of being with you. I don't care who knows. In fact.." I pulled myself up on his chest so I could look into his gorgeous brown eyes. "Will you stay with me tonight?" I asked._

_"You mean in your tent?" he asked._

_"Yes," I answered. "I want to go to sleep beside you and wake up with you there."_

_"Wow, I mean, yes, yes, of course." He put a hand up to the side of my face and just smiled at me. I couldn't resist. I leaned down and kissed him, which led to our second round of lovemaking that day. This time, we both had a little more idea what we were doing. We took the time to start to learn each other's body, what brought pleasure, the best places to touch, where to kiss. When Alistair rode me to ecstasy, this time I went with him. _

* * *

I woke up by myself this time, to my lonely bed in the dark, with tears running down my face. Why was I crying? Was it for the lost innocence of that girl I had been, was it for Alistair and all the pain I knew he was in now, or was it the fact that I couldn't be with the only man I'd ever wanted? Maybe it was all three.

Sleep had left me for the rest of the night. As I laid in my bed, I thought about that almost magical time, when everything had been so easy and life seemed so full of promise. When being together had only been a matter of if he wanted me and I wanted him instead of who could be queen, who would be acceptable to the nobility, who could give him an heir. Even though it had been years since we had been together, I still missed his body lying beside me each night. I missed the jokes we shared, the laughter, the quiet touching, the way I felt totally safe in his arms.

I knew I was letting my desire for Alistair lead me to a place I shouldn't go. Two ties now the demon had on me. I would _have_ to resist any more offers from it to relive old memories; I had no templar here in the Dalish camp to defend the people I loved from me if I should give in.


	25. Saying Goodbye and Eamon's Duty

_A.N: Many thanks to Melismo, who contributed quite a few ideas to help me finally get this written and for reading numerous partials and drafts. In this chapter, we get to see that Briana handles the whole situation surrounding Moira's death much better than Alistair does, and Eamon has to be a bit of the bad guy. _

* * *

The morning of Moira's pyre burning, Alistair stood staring out his window. As if to add insult to injury, it was a beautiful spring day. The sun was out and there was just a tinge of green to all the trees and the grass, as the warm weather promised to make everything blossom with life, everything except his daughter that is. He didn't want to do this today. He didn't want to do it ever, but it was the last thing he could do for Moira, so he would. He would go and stand in attendance while the smoke rose from her pyre.

He wasn't looking forward to seeing Briana. They had avoided each other since the baby's death. He knew she blamed him for Moira's death, but she couldn't blame him any more than he blamed himself. Briana's father had arrived from the Bann of Waking Sea, but he hadn't seen him either. His father-in-law was one of those quiet men that seemed to get things done, but were totally unmemorable themselves. Alistair knew that Bann Alfstanna relied on him immensely.

Since Moira's death, the only servant Alistair had allowed to be present in his rooms while he was there was his manservant, Adwen. He couldn't stand to have the others around. He couldn't take the looks of sympathy, the whispers about him they shared between them, the careful way everyone spoke or moved when he was in the room. Adwen had been with him since he first came to Denerim, and Alistair knew all he cared about was his clothes. That was the same and hadn't changed, and that Alistair could handle.

"Your Majesty," came Adwen's voice from the closet. "It's time to get changed."

Adwen emerged from the closet with his arms full as he prepared the outfit he had chosen for the king. Alistair let Adwen fuss around him as he obediently donned the clothes Adwen handed to him. When he was done, Adwen led him to his dressing table and sat him down. He went to work on Alistair's hair while Alistair stared into the mirror. He almost didn't recognize himself. His eyes were bloodshot and red. The unrelieved black Adwen had dressed him in seemed to draw attention to the new lines that ran across his face. Even his hair seemed lank and lifeless.

Eventually, even Adwen was satisfied with his primping and allowed Alistair out of the chair. He continued to fuss around Alistair, checking the lie of his jacket or brushing away an errant hair. Alistair was content to allow Adwen the familiarity as he knew that Adwen didn't really see him, but instead he saw a picture he was building in his mind of what Alistair looked like. That picture would be scrutinized today as the public would expect to see "the grieving monarch." His actions and expressions would be whispered about and discussed as his grief was measured by those who had no right to do so.

* * *

Briana started out the morning of Moira's burning the same way she had started every day since her baby died, in tears. Briana had never cried so much in her life, but then again, she had never had anything so awful happen to her. She had been so young when her mother died that she barely remembered her. Glenda had filled that role for her as she had taken care of Briana since she was a baby. Glenda continued to look after her and made Briana function, even if it was just to take a walk down the hall. Glenda was the one who held Briana when she cried, just as if she had really been her mother.

Her father had arrived three days ago, the day after Moira's death. He thought he was coming for the birth of his grandchild as the visit had long been planned. He hadn't said much to Briana since he arrived besides saying he was sorry. Her father was a kind man, but he had been lost as to what to do with a girl child after his wife had died of the wasting disease when Briana had been only two. Briana knew her father loved her, but it was an aloof kind of love. Briana always figured that was where she had gotten her own placid nature from and that she was like her father in that regard.

Glenda came into the room from the adjacent one she occupied. "I've brought you some breakfast, love," she stated. "Make sure you eat it all."

"I don't want it," Briana stated dully as she wiped more of the never-ending tears from her face.

"You must eat. You will need all your strength today. It will be a difficult one," Glenda said. "Sit," she ordered.

Briana reluctantly sat down at the little table across from her bed and picked up a piece of toast. Without much enthusiasm, she brought it to her lips and started dutifully trying to choke it down. "I guess Alistair will be there," she said more as a question than anything else.

Glenda brought her eyes to bear on Briana's face. "Of course he will be there. Where else would he be?" she asked.

"I'm not looking forward to seeing him," Briana admitted.

"Are you ready to talk about it now?" asked Glenda kindly. Glenda had been trying to get Briana to talk about Alistair over the last couple of days, but Briana had refused to discuss the situation between her and the king.

"I'm so angry at him, Glenda. I know he didn't purposefully make the baby sick, but what she died of came from him. There is a part of me that blames him just for that fact no matter how much I try to tell myself it wasn't his fault. The thing that I don't know if I can forgive him for and get past is that he intentionally didn't tell me everything. He left me in the dark for months when there were other people he told and who knew. How am I supposed to forgive him for that? Why should I even try?"

"Now, love. He is your husband and your king. You are his queen. Of course you have to try. Did he have an explanation for any of this?" Glenda asked.

"Not a good one," Briana responded. "That same old excuse about wanting to protect me."

"It is his job is to protect this country. Why should it surprise you that he would be especially protective of his queen? Who could be more precious to him than you?"

Briana sighed. Glenda had always been a hopeless romantic, but surely even she could see that while Alistair may care for her in some fashion, she certainly wasn't _precious_ to him. Briana was luckier than some as she had both her father and Glenda to support her today. She knew she would need their strength to make it through the ceremony. Briana was awfully glad that she would have her veils of mourning to hide behind. At least she wouldn't have to show her tear-streaked face to everyone present.

* * *

It had been arranged ahead of time that the royal party, including Alistair, Briana, her father, Eamon, Isolde, and Teagan would meet in the library on the first floor of the palace. They would wait there until everything was ready and then they would proceed out to the gardens once the Revered Mother was ready to start the ceremony. Alistair had arrived before Briana, but Eamon, Teagan, and Isolde were already there. He had greeted them and then stood in silence, waiting.

When Briana entered the library, with her father and Glenda on either side like sentries, Eamon had glanced at Alistair. Alistair made no sign that he had even seen Briana. She made no effort to go to Alistair, either. Eamon sighed. The distance between the two was obvious, but he supposed it could only be expected with the heartbreak they were going through and the circumstances surrounding it. When one of the servants had come into the room to inform them the Revered Mother was ready for them, Alistair at last turned to Briana, who was hidden beneath her veils.

"My lady," he had said, offering his arm, but not really looking at her.

Briana had placed her hand lightly on his arm and allowed him to escort her out into the gardens. They didn't have far to go to where a huge crowd had gathered for the day's sad event. The crowd's murmuring was quickly hushed as the royal couple and their entourage came into view. The party proceeded in silence up to where Moira's small body was laid out. Wynne had cast a preservation spell on the child's remains the day she died, so she still looked exactly like she had that day. Alistair and Briana were allowed a last few minutes alone at the side of the pyre with their daughter before joining everyone else. Briana dropped her hand from Alistair's arm as she looked down at her baby, and her tears flowed freely again. She turned away, blinding seeking Glenda, her comfort at this time. Alistair stayed at his daughter's side, looking down at her for a few more minutes before leaning down to place one last kiss on her forehead. Then, he too turned away to rejoin Eamon and the others. Briana and Alistair stood with their small family group, two people with a shared grief, unable to reach out to each other.

The Revered Mother began, but Alistair didn't hear a word she said. He kept his gaze fixed on the small body lying in front of him and tuned out everything else. Therefore, it was almost a surprise to him when the fires were lit. As the smoke began to rise, he heard Briana cry out beside him. He slowly turned to her, but she had already moved away from him and was leaning on her father's arm. As Briana's cries of distress became more intense, her father and Glenda led her away, back into the palace.

Alistair watched her go with expressionless eyes. No tears of his had fallen this day. He felt totally numb, as if there was an invisible wall between him and everything else in the world. He spared a glance for the crowd. Many of the women were openly crying and wailing. He felt nothing for their supposed grief. How could they know the loss he had suffered? They had never held her in their arms, watched her as she slept, or gazed into her eyes.

He turned his attention back to the pyre. As the fire started to gutter out, the crowd began drifting away. Alistair stood in silence until the only thing left in front of him was a pile of smoking ash. It was done. She was with the Maker now. He would never forget Moira and would think of her every day of his life, his one and only daughter.

* * *

Eamon had decided to wait a day or two before he tackled the subject of Briana with Alistair. He shouldn't have been surprised, but he was, when Alistair showed up in his study the next morning ready for work.

"Alistair," Eamon said gently. "You don't have to be here. You can take some time away from the endless meetings and decision-making, you know."

"I know," he answered. "But what else do I have left? Should I just sit in my room and play make-believe wishing games? No, thank you. I'd rather work."

"What about your wife? Why don't you spend some time with her?" Eamon asked.

Alistair gave what might have generously been called a wry laugh. "Do you really think she wants me to spend time with her? I think the kindest thing I can do for her is leave her alone," he stated. He drifted off to the side of the room while pretending to concentrate on a small wall hanging.

"If you don't mind me asking, what is the situation between you and Briana?" asked Eamon. He decided that with the opening Alistair had given him he may as well address the subject now.

"Well, I think I do mind," said Alistair. "In fact, I think I mind a lot. It's none of your business, and I don't wish to discuss it," he finished firmly.

Eamon was surprised. Alistair was usually willing to follow where Eamon led. "I'm concerned that you and your wife do not seem to be happy together," Eamon tried again.

"We just lost our daughter. What do you expect?" asked Alistair.

"I would expect that you would grieve together and try to comfort each other," said Eamon.

"Sorry to disappoint," said Alistair flatly.

Eamon sighed. "I have some information you need to know," Eamon said.

"Oh?" Alistair made it a question, without turning away from the wall to face Eamon. "I'm listening."

"Wynne came to see me the day before yesterday, with news about Briana," said Eamon.

"Is that so?" asked Alistair. "What news?"

"Alistair, would you please at least look at me when you talk? I'm not willing to discuss this with your back," requested Eamon.

Alistair turned around to face Eamon, but leaned up against the wall, with his shoulders right on the wall hanging he supposedly had been studying so intently just seconds before. "What news?" he asked again as he crossed his arms and propped one foot against the wall behind him.

"The way it was explained to me is that there may be some, some difficulty with Briana's fertility after the baby's delivery," said Eamon gingerly.

"I see," said Alistair.

Eamon waited for more, but nothing was forthcoming. "I'm concerned about the likelihood of the two of you providing an heir together," Eamon finally stated. He paused, waiting for a comment from Alistair. Again, Alistair remained mute and stared at Eamon's desk with no hint of what he was thinking showing on his face. "I realize this is extremely personal, but I need to know. How much trouble is there between you and Briana? Is this just something temporary because of everything going on now or is it something more serious?" Eamon asked.

Silence filled the room. Eamon decided to wait Alistair out. He leaned back in his chair and just stared at Alistair. Finally, after several minutes, Alistair drew his eyes up to Eamon's, "It's serious," he admitted.

Eamon let out a breath. "I was afraid of that. I hate to suggest this, but maybe it would be better in the long run for both of you. Have you had any thoughts of setting her aside?"

Alistair answered quickly, "No, I won't do that."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I must say, Eamon, you certainly do have a proclivity for suggesting that we Theirin men put aside our wives. First my brother and now me. I wonder if you would have been so quick to give my father the same advice about your sister if Cailan hadn't been born?"

Eamon's eyes narrowed. _I will not respond to that. He is hurting and is just striking out where ever he can. _"We were talking about you and Briana, not the past. If you aren't getting along and there is the issue of an heir, why not annul your marriage?"

There were a couple of different reasons Alistair didn't want the marriage annulled. For one thing, he had decided that there would be no heir. He would not put himself or his wife through another nine months of pregnancy only to have his child die. He'd rather the bloodline die with him than to keep trying and losing his children. He would kill no more of his own babies. If he stayed married to Briana, he could easily avoid her bed now with no excuses needed, and Eamon couldn't start looking for another woman for him to marry. He knew Elissa Cousland was still unmarried and that she would be the first woman pushed at him if he and Briana split. Deep inside himself, he also knew he hadn't been very fair to Briana over the years with the way his thoughts and feelings had turned to Lanie so often, and there was no way he wanted to humiliate her by publicly casting her off, especially just after losing the baby. He carried enough guilt about other things; he didn't need to feel guilty about that. He may make a poor husband, but at least, he hadn't broken any actual promises to her yet. No, it suited him to stay married to Briana.

"What makes you think another woman would make a difference? You know as well as I do the main trouble is me, not Briana's state of fertility as you put it, and that won't change even if I take another wife," stated Alistair.

"Will you at least think about it?" asked Eamon, though he knew the likelihood of Alistair changing his mind was small.

"No," said Alistair. "I consider the matter settled."

* * *

After his not very successful conversation with Alistair, Eamon thought that he would broach matters with Briana. He decided to wait a few days and let her work through more of her grief. At least she seemed to actually be grieving instead of locking everything up inside like Alistair was doing. He had continued to try to talk with Alistair and get the young man to let out some of his feelings, but Alistair continued to rebuff him whenever he tried.

His opportunity to approach Briana came early the following week when Alistair was out of the palace over at Fort Drakon. There was a joint exercise going on between some of the guards from Denerim and members of Maric's Shield. (Alistair had kept the name, although Ser Hugh instead of Ser Cauthrien headed the unit now.) After Ser Hugh and Captain Kylon had successfully solved the investigation into the attacks on the elven women of the Alienage, Alistair had come up with the idea of doing some practice operations in case it was ever necessary for the two units to work together. Alistair's presence had been requested by Ser Hugh, and he had left the palace with his commander and was expected back later in the day.

Shortly after lunch, Eamon had a break in his schedule, so he took the opportunity to make his way to the queen's new quarters. He had sent a page to her earlier and received permission to call upon her. Eamon hadn't often had an occasion to go to the queen's quarters when she was occupying the rooms set aside for her that adjoined Alistair's, but he was surprised how small the room she was currently staying in was. There was barely room for a bed and a small dining table for her, along with a sitting area off to the side that only comprised two small chairs and a stand between them. Surely, the palace could do better than this for Ferelden's queen.

When he came in the room, he found Briana and her maid waiting for him. Briana was sitting in a chair with some type of needlework. When he made to bow over her hand, she waved him off with a command of, "Sit, Eamon," as she pointed to the other chair. Glenda offered him refreshments, which he turned down. "Now, what can I do for you?" she asked.

"What I have to discuss with you is of a personal nature," said Eamon. "Perhaps you would like to dismiss your maid?" he suggested.

Briana gave him a long assessing look before turning to Glenda, "Why don't you go check on those flowers I wanted for the room?" she requested.

"Are you sure, my Lady?" asked Glenda.

"I'll be fine, Glenda," Briana said with a small smile. "The guards are right outside the door."

"Very well," said Glenda with a disapproving sniff. "I shall return shortly."

Briana set down the needlework she was doing. "I'm glad she's gone. I hate this stuff," she confessed. "It makes Glenda feel better to see me doing something, though. Now, what is this visit all about?" she finished.

Eamon didn't deal with Briana very often, so he had forgotten how self-possessed the young queen was. In many ways, he considered her a good match for Alistair, and he really regretted what he was going to have to say to her today.

"Well, as I said before, it's about a personal ..."

"Just say what you have to say, Eamon," broke in Briana. "You don't have to pretty it up for me."

He nodded. "Good. Wynne came to see me last week. She didn't know how to tell you or Alistair the news she had to share, so she brought it to me. I've tried to speak with Alistair about this subject, but he refuses to discuss it with me. In fact, there is not much besides business that he will talk to me about these days."

Briana just nodded and continued to look at him with her dark eyes.

"You know the importance of an heir to Alistair, correct?" asked Eamon as he realized he really didn't know how to broach this subject with her.

"Yes," she said. "I know."

"Well, there is now another issue besides Alistair's problem," Eamon informed her.

"What is it, Eamon?" she asked impatiently.

"Evidently, it has something to do with a potion Wynne gave you during the delivery," he said.

"It was ealik extract-which can cause fertility problems after the fact," said Briana thoughtfully. "I hadn't even considered that when I took the draft from Wynne," she admitted.

"Yes, I believe that was the name," he answered, relieved he didn't have to spell it all out for her. This was one benefit from Briana's healing training. "I'm sure Wynne could explain it all to you in proper detail, but from what she told me it will be difficult, although not impossible, for you to conceive again."

"Which, when added to Alistair's issue..." she trailed off.

"Yes," said Eamon. "You see the big picture. I'm sorry about everything that has occurred, but as chancellor, it is my duty to make sure the succession is secured, especially as Alistair's rule is likely to be somewhat shorter than normal. It cannot be put off for years. He must have a child and that child must have time to grow up."

"And just what do you expect me to do?" she asked.

"As I mentioned, I had a discussion with Alistair. I-I suggested to him that he have the Chantry annul your marriage," Eamon admitted.

Briana just looked at him for a few moments. Eamon didn't know her well enough to read the look on her face. Finally, she asked, "What did Alistair say to that?"

"He absolutely refused to put you aside," Eamon answered.

"I see," she said. "So, I repeat, what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to do your duty as Ferelden's queen and ensure Alistair has an heir. We both know that's the sole reason why he married you. I want you to leave Alistair, so he can marry someone who can give him the child Ferelden needs."

There was one part of her that wanted to jump up and shout, "How dare you make such a declaration to me!" However, there was another part of her that couldn't help wondering if Eamon was right. She knew what her assigned role was to have been in Alistair's life, that of mother to his child or children, if they had been so fortunate. If a child was to be denied them, she wasn't sure what her purpose was to be now.

"You do realize what you are asking from Alistair by insisting he have another child, don't you?" asked Briana.

"Yes," said Eamon. "He must try, though. There is no other choice. I know the chances are high that the same thing that happened to-to…"

"Moira," interjected Briana as her eyes filled up with tears. "Her name was Moira."

"Of course," Eamon murmured. Briana turned away from him slightly as she wiped her tears, and Eamon looked away to allow Briana time to compose herself. He felt like a total heel. It was bad enough to come and ask her to leave her husband, but now to make her cry over her daughter as well was even worse.

Finally, she said, "I will talk to Alistair, but I make no promises as to what the result will be."

"Thank you," Eamon replied as he rose to leave. "I'm so very sorry for having had to be the one to bring this news to you. It brought me no pleasure."

* * *

Two opposite reactions came out of the meeting between Briana and Eamon. Briana exited the meeting determined to talk to Alistair and see if there was anything left to be salvaged between them. According to Eamon, Alistair had refused to set her aside at Eamon's suggestion. She would really like to know the reason for that. With the troubles in their relationship, Moira's death, and now the news about the difficulty in conceiving future children, she would have thought Alistair would have jumped at the first chance he had to be rid of her.

Eamon left the meeting knowing that a confrontation with Alistair was coming. Once Briana talked to him, he knew Alistair wouldn't be pleased with him. Eamon was just doing his job; however, Alistair was the one who had made him chancellor. Ferelden's need had to come before Eamon's role as Alistair's surrogate father.


	26. Briana's Decision

_A.N.: Thanks as always to Melismo, who always seems to have a good idea to suggest when I get stuck in a chapter._

* * *

Eamon had suggested later in the day was a good time to catch Alistair, after he had returned from his outing with Ser Hugh. Thus, late afternoon found Briana moving down the hallway outside the royal chambers, with two of her guards in attendance. She hadn't been back to the royal suite since she had moved out of her rooms the day after Moira's death. As she approached the door to Alistair's room, the single guard on duty drew himself up to attention.

"Your Majesty," he acknowledged her with a small bow. "How may I help you? The king has not returned to his chambers yet," he informed her.

"Thank you," she said. "I'll just go in and wait for him. Gowan and Norris, you remain outside," she ordered her guards. Briana moved to open the door and enter Alistair's room, but Gowan opened the door before she could reach it. With a nod of her head in thanks, she entered the room, and he pulled the door shut behind her.

She moved through the outer entry area into the inner portion of Alistair's rooms. He had one very large room, which served as a combination bedroom/study area. This was the room that adjoined hers when she had lived in the queen's chambers. There were a couple of small secondary rooms off of the main one that served to hold his personal arms and armor, his clothes, and a washroom. She looked around Alistair's rooms. Not much had changed since the last time she had been in here. The servants had obviously picked up behind him since the morning as the bed was made and everything was in its place. There was a fire laid in the fireplace, ready to be kindled when the king returned. Even though there were windows in his chambers, the lighting was poor, so she went to where a candle waited to be used. She lit it and picked it up to carry with her.

She wandered around his room for a bit as she considered what she was going to say to Alistair today. She finally approached his desk, which just had a few items on the top surface. Obviously, Alistair had taken whatever he had been working on last night with him when he left this morning. Previously, when she had been in here, his desk had overflowed with official correspondence and reports. When she sat down in his chair, she could smell the scent she had always associated with Alistair. It was masculine with slight hints of wood smoke and leather overlaying it.

She idly reached out a hand and picked up the book that was lying right in the center of Alistair's desk. As she brought it toward her, she thought she had seen it before. It looked like it had been handmade, either that or roughly repaired as the binding had homemade stitches in it to hold it together. _The Maker: Chants for the Trail _was the title. She ran her finger down the binding. She realized where she had seen this strange book before; it had been before she and Alistair were married. She opened the front cover and a few well-handled sheets of paper fell into her lap. She placed the book back down and picked up the sheets of paper. The ink had faded some from frequent handling, but she could still make out the words.

_27 December 9.31 Dragon_

_Dear Alistair: _

_It's a little strange to be sitting here writing this knowing that if you read it, I'll be dead. If I wasn't such a coward, I'd do this in person, but I don't think I could get through it looking into your eyes._

_First, I wanted you to know how much I love you. You'll never realize how close I was to just giving up that day in Denerim at Arl Eamon's after you left the room. It's only duty that keeps me functioning now. I know you were trying to do what you thought was best for the both of us and Ferelden, but it is hard to face. You must have thought long and hard about the talk we had, even before the Landsmeet. I can see you tried to spare me the worst of it by only mentioning the heir issue, but let there be honesty between us even at the end. We both knew that the fact that I am both elven and a mage would have made a relationship between us impossible for the nobility of Ferelden to accept under any circumstances. It hurts so much to know that no matter what I do I can never be with you. Not because of who I am, but because of what I am, and that I cannot change even if I wanted to._

_Alistair, there is a core of goodness in you that gives you your strength. So many people just see the exterior you put on and dismiss you. I know the strength you have inside, and I know you have it in you to be not just a good king, but a great one. Don't let me down. You have a way of making people want to be better than they are. Use that in the years to come. I know it worked on me._

_I'm sure you were thinking that after the Blight has ended I would go back and rebuild the Wardens in Ferelden. I think you forget that I don't have the memories you do. I just have your stories about what it was like before the Blight started. The only Wardens I have met are Duncan, Riordan, and you. I was with Duncan such a short time, just on the journey from the Circle Tower to Ostagar, and I wasn't even a Warden yet, just a recruit. Duncan had no way of knowing if I would even survive the Joining. To me, _you_ are the Grey Wardens. I think it was that day at Flemeth's hut that I began to fall in love with you. You seemed so lost after King Cailan's and Duncan's deaths that I agreed to start this journey. It was your belief in what the Grey Wardens stand for that drove me on. I know most people saw me as the leader of our group, but they never knew where I drew _my_ strength from. Just knowing you were standing at my side was enough._

_Other Wardens will be sent to help you rebuild in Ferelden. I know you will be too busy to do it yourself, but you will give them all the aid they need to get it done. I know it didn't seem very heroic when it was all happening, but after the stories about 'King Alistair and his companions' fighting the darkspawn and having you declared king, you will probably have to beat prospective recruits off with a stick. Everyone will want to be like you. The rest of us will fade to the background and that is how it should be. The Grey Wardens will survive and prosper in Ferelden whoever is chosen to lead them now. In all honesty, I don't want to face being a Grey Warden without you._

_So now we come to the crux of the matter. Someone has to make the sacrifice for the Blight to end if Riordan falls. I just have this feeling that since this Blight arose in Ferelden, it will take a Ferelden Grey Warden to end it. Maybe I'm wrong and tomorrow or the next day I'll be throwing this letter in the fire. Only time will tell, but regardless, Ferelden _needs_ you. I'm expendable. This is my duty to bear. _

_I must admit I had a few selfish moments when Morrigan made her offer and I thought about trying to persuade you to do it. Then, I thought about how you would feel knowing that you had a child somewhere out there that you couldn't find. I know what your upbringing as a royal bastard cost you, and I couldn't ask you to do that to your own child just to save my life. Just as I had to let you go to do your duty, now you must let me go do mine. _

_I'm going to have to close this letter now. I can hear Wynne moving around camp. She'll be calling for me shortly as we hope to reach Denerim today. If the worst does happen, don't grieve for me, my love. Be happy. Know I can go to whatever fate has decreed for me with a willing heart because I know you will be safe."_

_All my love forever, _

_Lanie_

Briana carefully folded the letter back up, laid it on top of the desk, and sat back in Alistair's chair to think. She felt many different emotions at this point, betrayal, anger, sympathy, but the overwhelming emotion was that of sadness. Sadness for all three of the people caught up in this mess: Alistair's Lanie, dead and gone so young; Alistair, caught between his duty and the woman he loved; and herself, married to a man she couldn't reach or really know. She knew that she and Alistair didn't love each other; neither of them had ever professed that, but this just seemed the final straw to her. Briana had assumed that the love he had felt for the elf had long since faded away. Obviously, she was wrong. This was just like the taint situation and his hiding it from her. How could she not have known? Elandria must still be in his heart and on his mind since he left this book on his desk. Why else would he still have it and so prominently displayed?

What was she doing in such a relationship? Certainly, she had more pride than this and _deserved_ more than she was getting from her marriage with Alistair. She had assumed when she married him that they would at least be friends and he would be able to confide in her. Evidently, she was wrong about that as well and had been from the beginning. She had so hoped that love might grow between them or at least enough mutual caring, respect, and liking so that they could have a real relationship. As it was now, it was a farce. She and Alistair had never been farther apart. All Briana could see looking ahead of her if she stayed with him was a long, lonely, wasted life. Perhaps, Eamon was right. Perhaps, she should leave Alistair, not for his sake so he could father a child with someone else, but for her own. How long she sat there musing over her thoughts, Briana wasn't sure, but eventually she heard the outer door open.

"Briana," Alistair called before he came into the main room of his suite. "Oh," he said and stopped suddenly in the doorway when he saw that she was sitting at his desk with the letter in front of her. Neither of them spoke. Finally, he moved into the room, took off his coronet, and threw it on the bed. He moved with a nonchalance he didn't feel over to a chair in front of the fireplace. He turned it so he could see Briana and sat down in it.

"Eamon came to see me today," Briana began. "He wanted me to talk to you. That's why I'm here."

"I see," said Alistair and then was quiet again.

"I was waiting for you," she continued. "I was bored and noticed this book on your desk. I remembered seeing it in your study before."

"I brought it up here after I moved into these quarters."

"That was why you kissed me that day, wasn't it?" she asked. "So I wouldn't find the letter."

"Yes," Alistair admitted. "It was."

"I'm leaving, Alistair. When my father goes back home, I'm going with him."

"Because of this?" asked Alistair waving a hand at his desk. "It means nothing. It has nothing to do with the relationship between you and me."

Briana couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What do you mean by that?" she asked incredulously.

"She's _dead,_ Briana. I know she isn't coming back. Lanie-Elandria is no threat to you."

"If you know this so well, why do you hang onto these things? Why do you still love her?"

Alistair rose from the chair and went to the wine decanter. He poured a goblet and gulped it down. He poured another one and began pacing with the goblet in his hand, sipping occasionally, "Honestly, I don't know what I feel for anybody anymore. Ever since Moira-it's just easier to be numb."

"Well, there aren't only your feelings to consider in this, but also mine."

Alistair turned to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not willing to live like this, Alistair. You can deny it all you want, but I know you still love her. I think I could actually live with that. I understand these kind of situations often occur in royal marriages, but what I can't get past is the fact that there is no real relationship between you and I. You keep things from me while acting as if everything is fine, and I don't even realize anything is wrong because you've never allowed me to really know you. You don't trust me enough to talk to me about things that are bothering you. After almost three years of marriage, that hurts to admit. With the news that Eamon gave me today, it seems most likely that I can't give you the heir you need, so why should I stay?"

"I want you to stay," said Alistair.

"_Why_, Alistair? Why do you want me to stay? What possible reason could you have?"

"I just don't want you to go, okay?" he almost snarled as he turned around to face her.

Briana looked at him in sudden understanding. "You're afraid. What are you afraid of?

Alistair rubbed his forehead as he realized this conversation was spinning out of his control. "I'm not afraid. I've just made a decision that Eamon doesn't know about yet, well actually nobody knows about yet."

"Oh?"

"I've decided I'm not going to have an heir," Alistair said. "I'm not going through what happened with Moira again, and I'm not putting anybody else through it either. It's my fault she died, I understand that. Well, lesson learned. No more dying babies for me. So it doesn't matter if you can get pregnant or not. You can stay and still be queen."

"Alistair," Briana said softly. "No one understands more than I do what you are feeling right now, but even I know you have to try again. What happens if your next baby was born without the taint? You'll never know if you don't try. You have to secure the succession."

"Well, I'm not willing to take that chance. The bloodline can go hang itself for all I care. It's certainly never brought me any happiness. You don't know what I would give_ not_ to be Maric's son."

"Alistair, you don't mean that!"

"Yes, Briana, I do. The man never cared one whit about me. He let me be raised in a stable for Maker's sake. Who would do that to their own child, king or not?" he asked. He paused for a moment and then went on. "Never mind. It's not important. What's important is that you don't have to leave."

Briana just looked at him sadly. "You really don't understand, do you? You just showed me how right I am to leave. I never _knew_ you had any of those feelings about your father. You never talk to me about anything that really matters to you, and now that something important to you has come up, you just want to change the subject. I'm sorry, Alistair. You should have picked one of the court beauties whose sole ambition was to be queen and didn't care about anything beyond that for your wife. I never wanted to just be queen. I want more than that. I need to have more than that in my life, and you can't give me anything else."

"How about if I promise to try?" he asked.

Briana rose from Alistair's chair behind the desk, shaking her head, "I think you have been trying, and that's the problem. I've been begging you to let me in, but I don't know if you will ever trust anyone enough to risk letting someone see inside to the real you. I'm done trying. It's time for me to move on." She walked over and kissed him on the cheek. "Good luck, Alistair. I hope you find some happiness. I'm going to try and find my own." With that she walked through the doorway and exited his suite, without a backward glance.

Alistair watched Briana go and felt his numbness slipping away. He took the goblet he held in his hand and threw it as hard as he could. The wine splashed against the wall and slowly trickled down to the floor in a puddle. The way the dim light reflected off the pool it reminded him of blood. He grabbed whatever was in reach and threw it against the wall as well. A chair, another goblet, the wine decanter, another chair, a table; all went flying in quick succession to crash against the wall, but didn't help to assuage his anger. He began to pace like a caged animal as the contained rage he had been suppressing since Moira's death spiraled up and out from the pit inside himself where he had locked it away.

All of a sudden, he turned sharply and exited the room. Three of his guards fell into place around him as he tore off down the hall without a word to any of them. His guards could barely keep pace with him as he moved swiftly through the hallways seeking Eamon. When he came to Eamon's study, the door was closed. He threw it open so hard the door rebounded back and almost hit him. Eamon looked up in surprise from the treaty he was reading.

"Alistair, what in the…" Eamon trailed off as he realized that Briana must have confronted him, and it hadn't gone well.

Alistair strode into the room. not caring who saw or heard what was happening. Eamon made a motioning sign to the guards who followed him, and they left the room, closing the door behind them.

"Eamon, I can't believe you went against me. You went and talked to Briana when I told you the matter was closed. Now, she is leaving me and returning home with her father. I'm the one who rules here. I'm the one in charge. I thought we had worked this out before," Alistair said as he strode around Eamon's office still in a fury.

"You _are_ king, Alistair. I serve you and Ferelden as I have done since you ascended to the throne. You appointed me chancellor, so I did a chancellor's duty. If you want to bury your head in the sand, then it is my obligation to make sure matters get taken care of," Eamon said calmly without raising his voice or moving from his desk.

Alistair spun to face Eamon. "Bury my head in the sand? What do you mean by that?" he spit out.

"Your refusal to discuss and fulfill your most important duty to Ferelden-ensuring your successor," said Eamon.

"Do you know how sick and tired I am of hearing that? It's been the driving factor of my life for years now. Well, you can just get off my back about it. Would it be such a bad thing if the bloodline ended with me? The last few descendents haven't exactly been shining examples to hold up for children to admire, at least not since my grandmother, and she never even sat on the throne! We have Maric who was admired and loved, but who calmly handed his son off to be raised by others in any way they saw fit and who needed Loghain to do the things he didn't want acknowledged. Then there was Cailan, who let his wife rule for him, and when he went off to play war got himself killed in the first battle he fought. Now, there's me. The bastard who can't get an heir."

"Alistair, where is this all coming from? What can I do to help?" asked Eamon.

"Now, you want to help me?" Alistair asked, his voice rising with each word. "Where were you when I could have really used your help? When I was ten and being sent away from the only pathetic excuse for a home I knew. I was actually sorry to be leaving the stables. I thought I had done something to make you hate me and you were punishing me. I was too young to understand how a woman's hate can be vicious enough to cause even a strong man to turn his back on…," Alistair stopped in mid sentence as he realized just how far out of control he had allowed himself to become. He turned without another word and plunged back out the door, racing back the way he had come, trying to outrun the image of himself screaming at Eamon.

Eamon quickly left his desk and went into the hall. He saw Alistair striding off with his guards in tow. Eamon breathed a sigh of relief. At least he had the guards with him. They wouldn't let him get into too much mischief._ You were right, Alistair. I failed you miserably. I should never have allowed you to be sent off to the Chantry. I'm so sorry, my boy, for everything. _

When Alistair left Eamon's office, he felt like such an idiot. Nothing like realizing you've been a complete ass to make the anger flush out of your system. He couldn't believe he let go of his temper like that. It had been _years_ since he had lost that much control. He sent one of his guards off to retrieve a cask of wine for him (which Reilly wasn't pleased about, but he couldn't refuse a direct order) and headed up to the ramparts of the palace roof. He could go up there and get away from everyone. The smell from the city was lessened up that high, and he could almost make himself believe he had escaped the palace. He sat on the rooftop for hours that night in the quiet, drinking and thinking. He stared off toward Fort Drakon in the distance, out past the city, to where freedom beckoned to him and offered him escape from the trap his life had become. If only he could ignore his responsibilities and travel that road out of Denerim, away from all that bound him to the kingship, but Alistair knew it was not to be. He was well and truly caught in his gilded cage.

He never realized that night that Eamon had come hunting for him, found him, watched over him for awhile, and then quietly departed; all without alerting Alistair to his presence. Eamon knew he had failed Alistair in the past, but he didn't intend to keep failing this last son of Maric's, the one who he had come to love like his own.


	27. Changes and Decisions

_A.N.: I did some research and found that according to the wikia page, divorce does not exist in Ferelden, but the Chantry will allow annulments in certain situations, so that's what I have gone with here._

_Thanks once again to everyone who continues to read, review, favorite, and alert. Much love goes out to my wonderful beta, Melismo whose fine tuning once again created a greatly improved chapter._

* * *

The next morning, with his emotions all firmly locked back down again, Alistair sought out Eamon to apologize. He waited until he knew Eamon would be at his desk and then politely knocked on the door to his study.

"Enter," came Eamon's command.

Alistair opened the door and entered the office. "I've come to apologize for my behavior yesterday," he started.

"There's no need," Eamon broke in. "Sit, Alistair. I want to talk to you. I owe you an apology as well."

Alistair moved into the room and took a seat in one of the chairs in front of Eamon's desk. "No, you don't. My behavior yesterday was inexcusable. I should never have lost control like that," he admitted.

"I think it is understandable with all the stress you have been under. I wanted to talk to you about some of the things you said yesterday about the past," Eamon said.

"Never mind the past. It's not important," Alistair replied. "I understand what happened."

"No, I don't believe you do. You see, your father very much wanted to raise you and know you. Maric was a man of many contradictions. What he showed to the world was very different from the man he was on the inside. He had his demons that rode him just as we all do. You probably will find this hard to believe, but you are an awfully lot like him in many ways," said Eamon. "Others convinced him that he was being selfish in wanting to raise you in the palace, that it would be better for you to be away from the mess that was court. As a bastard with a legitimate prince in place, life wouldn't have been very good for you here, so I agreed to take you."

"I first placed you in the stable because I wanted you to have a life free from obligation and it worked, for a little while anyway. You were happy as a young child. I watched you race around with the other stable boys playing and laughing. Everything was fine until Maric decided that if he couldn't see you at least you would know who your father was. He hounded me until I finally agreed to tell you, and things were different from that day forth. I could see it in the shadows that formed in your eyes. You laughed and played much less; you became quiet and resentful. You were now different from the other boys.

"It was Loghain's idea to place you with the Chantry. I think he had figured out just how weak a ruler Cailan would make and was already making plans for what would happen when Maric was gone. After all, Anora had been promised to Cailan almost since birth, he wouldn't want a bastard threatening Cailan's and his daughter's throne. If you took vows as a templar, the likelihood of you raising a rebellion against them was greatly reduced.

"To my shame, I agreed to let you go. I was hoping that with new surroundings and people around you who didn't know who you were that you would find some of the happiness you had lost at Redcliffe. I knew you and Isolde didn't get along and I was hoping… well, it doesn't matter now. I'm sorry you thought I was sending you away because I didn't want you. That was never the case. I stopped visiting you because the Revered Mother asked me not to come anymore. She told me that my visits made it harder on you, that you were upset for days after I left. When I did come, you never seemed glad to see me and wouldn't speak to me, so finally I just stopped visiting. I never forgot about you, though. I thought about you often. I probably should have told you all of this years ago, but I never realized how much it bothered you. You are like a son to me, Alistair, and you will always be part of my family."

About halfway through Eamon's disclosures, Alistair had dropped his eyes and began picking at a spot on a shirt sleeve. He listened, taking it all in so he could absorb it later in private. He was determined not to lose control of himself twice in as many days. "Thanks for telling me all of that, Eamon. Now, what I really want to discuss is Briana. I want you to go talk with her and make sure she has everything she needs as far as coin and such. Her guards are also to make the trip with her and continue to protect her wherever she decides she will stay. I'm hoping that perhaps she will change her mind as time passes and return to the palace." Alistair stood up from the chair he had been sitting in. He had done his duty in apologizing to Eamon, and there were other tasks to attend to. He could not afford to let these confessions cloud his judgment.

Eamon just looked at him for a moment, and then he said, "Of course, if that is what you want. I will make sure she has everything she needs. Did you want to talk about anything else?"

"No, that will do it," Alistair said. "I should let you get back to work now. I'll-I'll see you later." He almost fled from the room in his haste to leave.

Eamon stared after Alistair. He wasn't sure what he had expected from Alistair, but this reaction wasn't it. He had hoped that perhaps they would finally be able to talk about the mistakes of the past and get beyond them. He certainly hadn't expected Alistair to run from him.

* * *

Later that night, Alistair sat at the desk in his room. He was attempting to write a letter to Briana, but hadn't progressed much past the salutation. Every time he tried to figure out what he wanted to say to her his thoughts drifted off to what Eamon had told him this morning about his father and his own childhood. It would have meant a lot to him to know years ago his father had wanted to know him, although Eamon and Duncan were the two men who had really filled the father role for him at the different points in his life. He also wished he had known that Eamon hadn't sent him away in deference to Isolde as he had always thought. Those misconceptions were part of what had shaped his personality and his unwillingness to step to the forefront of situations when he was younger. It's hard to be a leader when you are never good enough, not good enough for your father to want to know and not even good enough to keep living in a stable.

He and Eamon had grown closer the past few years as they worked together, but they had never addressed these personal issues. For some reason, he just didn't feel comfortable discussing the situation with Eamon now. There had been too many emotional issues the past few months, and he _needed _to stay in control, not break down again like he had yesterday. It still made him uncomfortable that he had lost it like that. _Not very kingly, Alistair_. Yes, the thing to do was to just hold the knowledge to himself for a while to savor. He and Eamon could discuss it some other later time. Right now, though, he needed to get this letter written, or Briana would be out of the palace and gone before he had it written.

15 April 9.34 Dragon

_Dear Briana: _

_I thought you would prefer written correspondence to talking to me again. I understand that you were hurt because I didn't discuss Lanie with you. How do you do something like that? How do you tell your wife that your old lover stays on your mind, without implying something is wrong with your wife? And there's not. There is not one thing wrong with you. You are more than I deserved when I selected a queen. I told you once before that I was lucky that you agreed to marry me, and I still feel that way, regardless of whatever else has happened between us. I'm sorry I couldn't give you more. You are right. You do deserve it, and I'm certainly no prize._

_I've accepted that you need some time to be away from me and to heal from everything that has happened, both between us and with Moira's death. A trip home sounds like it would be very good for you. _

_I'm hoping that after you get home, and some time has passed, you will find a way to come back, and we can try again. I meant what I said yesterday. I still want you to be queen. I don't want to marry any of the "court beauties" as you suggested. _

_Please consider it over these next few weeks. I'll be hoping you will come back to me._

_Alistair _

Alistair had the letter sent to Briana. He never received an answer, and two days later, after much hustle and bustle surrounding her departure, she was gone.

* * *

Alistair's emotions continued to be difficult for him to control. He would swing between inappropriate anger back to having all his emotions locked down so tightly he seemed almost golem-like. Those around him soon learned to walk quietly and to assess the king's tumultuous moods.

About two months after Briana left, Eamon had a meeting with an unexpected party. The Revered Mother of the Denerim Chantry had requested an appointment with him. Revered Mother Perpetua wanted to know the situation between the king and the queen. It turns out that she had received a missive from the Chantry in Briana's home city requesting the Mother's opinion on whether the Revered Mother there should grant Briana's request for an annulment. Briana was requesting it on the grounds that no children could be born of her and Alistair's marriage. Before answering the other Revered Mother's letter, Revered Mother Perpetua wanted to know the situation from the king's side, so she could make sure the information was accurate and to find out if the annulment was desired on his part. Eamon told her to grant the request. He knew Alistair would be upset, but it was for the best. Briana wasn't coming back, and the sooner Alistair accepted it the better it would be for him. He just hoped Alistair never realized Eamon was the one who approved it.

When the official annulment papers came from the Chantry in midsummer, Alistair stayed locked in his room for two days.

* * *

Meanwhile near Ostagar, Elandria and the Dalish had been busy settling into the new lands of the elves. Elandria had decided to give Alistair some time after the death of his daughter before attempting to contact him and inform him about Kellin. She didn't want him to think she was trying to replace his daughter with their son.

One evening in late summer after a full day's labor, Elandria and her family group had a few friends over, and they were all gathered around a campfire, singing songs, telling stories, and playing guessing games. They were all surprised when Lanaya came walking up to their fire.

"Keeper!" said Torin. "Welcome! It's an honor for you to join us."

"Hello, Torin," said Lanaya. "How are you and your young charge this fine evening?"

"We're good," said Torin with a grin. "Kellin seems to get bigger every day."

"I see you are taking your responsibility seriously," said Lanaya approvingly.

"I wouldn't dare to do any less," he said jokingly. "My keeper might come after me if I was slacking."

"Hum," Lanaya answered. "Good point. She just might."

"Lanaya," said Elandria happily, coming over to give her a hug. "I'm so glad to see you! We've been so busy, it's hard to find time to break away for visiting."

Torin, Elandria, and Lanaya were standing on one side of the fire with their backs to it, talking about how much they had accomplished in the time since they had arrived to their new home. Kellin and a few other children had been gathered around Vanora as she told them a story. When she finished, the children started to tussle, acting out the heroics of the elves in her story. All of a sudden, Torin turned, jumped, grabbed, and yelled for Kellin. He reached for Kellin just as another boy he had been fighting with lost his balance and fell, smashing into Kellin, and sending him toward the fire. Torin grabbed a hold of Kellin and pulled him back just before he would have fallen into the flames.

After Elandria made sure Kellin was okay and reassured everyone around the fire that he was fine, Vanora gathered the children and took them off for a treat. Elandria looked at Lanaya and Torin. "Someone want to explain to me what just happened?" she asked.

Lanaya looked at Torin. "Ask him," she said.

Torin was agitatedly rubbing one hand up and down his other arm. "I don't know," he said. "I can't describe it. I just knew Kellin was going to fall, and I moved before I even thought about it. It was weird, kind of creepy actually."

Elandria reached out, grasped Torin's hand, held it between her own, and looked into his eyes. "Thank you," she said earnestly. "You saved him from a nasty injury. I could have healed him, of course, but he still would have suffered the pain from the burn."

"Right," said Torin with a shaky smile. "Just doing my job."

Elandria looked at Lanaya. "Is this normal?" she asked.

"I would assume it is a side effect of the binding," said Lanaya.

"It was kind of cool actually," said Torin, recovering his equilibrium with the flexibility of youth. "Well, at least I sort of know what to expect now. I'll see you later, keeper." Torin moved off after Kellin leaving Elandria and Lanaya standing alone by the fire except for Kaneath. An impromptu game of night-time hide and seek had been started, and everyone else had gone to either join in or watch. Lanaya and Elandria joined Kaneath, who was sitting down by the fire.

"Well," started Elandria. "At least we know the bonding spell worked. Torin definitely started moving for him before Kellin even started to fall. How is that possible?"

Lanaya's brow wrinkled up, "I wish I knew more about how the spell functions. The Lenayath has been used so infrequently the past few generations that I don't have much knowledge to go on. Zathrian would have known more. He just passed the spell down to me, and I didn't think at the time to ask him more about it. I wish I had. I guess I expected to just pass it on without ever using it."

"It's only been a few months since you cast the spell," said Elandria. "I thought this was something that grew over time."

"I'm sorry, Elandria," said Lanaya. "I'm really in the dark just as much as you are."

"I guess it is a little late to second guess now, but I hope we did the right thing and that my allowing this binding wasn't a mistake, although I must admit it sure was useful tonight in saving Kellin from a nasty fall into the fire," she replied.

"I'll talk to Torin about it later," said Kaneath. "I'll make sure he is okay and see if I can get any other information out of him about what really happened."

"You know, Lanaya," Elandria stated thoughtfully. "There's something else that could be at work here as well. Could Kellin's destruction of the Archdemon have anything to do with the effect of your spell? I know my magic was changed just by having its taint move through me. Who knows what effect actually destroying it might have had on Kellin? I mean, we don't even know yet if Kellin will be a mage or not. If he has the same mage channels I do, I wonder what it would have done to him?"

"That's a good point, but unfortunately I don't have any answers for you. I just don't know. We've lost so much of the knowledge of our ancestors. I think the only thing you can do is observe the pair of them as they get older and see what happens. The binding worked as it was supposed to tonight, so I wouldn't worry too much. Torin definitely moved to save Kellin before Kellin had even started to fall. I saw it just as you did," finished Lanaya.

"That is wise, keeper," said Kaneath. "We can sit around and theorize as much as we like, but until we have more actual idea of what is happening between the two of them, it doesn't do much good."

The conversation then changed to general topics centered around the settling of the Dalish into their new home until Lanaya leaned over and whispered to Elandria, "Does Kaneath know about Kellin?" Elandria gave a small nod.

Lanaya looked around to make sure that they were alone. Seeing no one else close enough to overhear their conversation, she said, "I actually had a reason for coming to see you this evening."

"Yes?," asked Elandria.

"Valendrian sent me a letter asking me when I'm heading back to Denerim to take a turn on the council. He's been covering for me while we've been busy here, but I guess he wants me to come sit in on some of those boring meetings for a while so he can have a break. He sent me some of the news from the city. There was an item that I thought you should hear."

Kaneath and Elandria looked at Lanaya with interest. "Well, tell us, then," said Elandria impatiently.

"It seems our king is single once again. His wife left him this summer and was granted an annulment from the Chantry," stated Lanaya. There was quiet around the fire after Lanaya's little bombshell as the others looked at Elandria.

Elandria was glad she was sitting down when Lanaya told her. She felt her heart speed up at the news. After a moment, she rose and began to pace around the fire. Finally, she turned back to her friends, "Well, it doesn't really change anything, does it? It's not like it means anything to me. The basic issues that split us up before haven't changed. I'm still elven, a mage, and certainly not a noble."

"Don't you think Kellin changes the situation?" asked Lanaya.

"Why? Alistair can just marry again and have another child," said Elandria.

"I wonder if it that easy?" asked Lanaya.

Should she finally tell Alistair about Kellin? Would there ever be a better time? Kellin was starting to ask questions about his father. She had managed to tiptoe around the issue so far, but his questions were sure to become harder to answer as time passed. Elandria came to a decision. "When are you going back to Denerim?" she asked Lanaya.

"Probably not for another month or so. There is too much still for me to do here before I can leave for an extended period of time," answered Lanaya. "Why?"

"I want to you do me a favor the next time you are in the city," said Elandria.

"Which is?" asked Lanaya.

"Here's what I want you to do…" Elandria replied.

* * *

A week after Alistair's annulment papers arrived at the palace, Chancellor Eamon had a visitor. Fergus Cousland had come to see him. He was offering his sister, Elissa again to be Alistair's queen. Eamon thought the idea had merit and promised to bring it up with the king. Alistair, however, had other ideas. He had decided that he would not marry again just to try and secure an heir. He had gone down that road once and been burned. He wasn't eager to try it again. Over the next few weeks, Eamon continued to try to change his mind, and Fergus even brought the subject up to Alistair when he saw him around the palace. Alistair remained cool to the idea.

That summer there was such a number of invitations sent to the palace for the king to attend parties, dinners, lunches, etc., that Alistair almost had to get a social secretary just to deal with them all. It seemed the word had gone out, and everyone knew the king was single again. At Eamon's urging, he did go to a few events, but then he refused to attend any more. The single court ladies soon grew quite desperate in trying to figure out how they could get the king's attention as he never seemed to leave the palace except for official duties. Both Wynne and Eamon tried in their own ways to spend time with him and talk to him about how he was feeling, but neither seemed to be able to really break through and help him deal with all the pent-up issues he was burying. So things continued across the whole of late summer and into the autumn until one day Alistair had an appointment with an old acquaintance.

Alistair and Eamon had been locked up in his study going over business for the next day. He had almost forgotten his scheduled appointment when his clerk came in to inform him that Keeper Lanaya, from the ruling council, was here to see him.

"What's this all about, Alistair?" Eamon asked curiously.

"I haven't a clue myself," answered Alistair. "Lanaya just asked for a private meeting with me."

"Interesting," said the chancellor. "Mind if I sit in?"

"Suit yourself," said Alistair. He motioned for the clerk to show her in. He courteously rose from his desk when she came into the room.

"Your Majesty," said Lanaya with a bob of her head. (The Dalish weren't much into bowing, and Alistair never expected nor demanded it from them.)

"Keeper Lanaya," he said. "To what do I owe this pleasure? It has been a while since I last saw you. The clan is dong well? I understand you have settled into your new lands."

Eamon thought if Alistair would bestir himself to show such courtesy all the time for the keeper, maybe he should start including her in all their meetings. He was getting tired of bearing the brunt of Alistair's bad moods.

"Yes, your Majesty. _Everyone _with the clan is doing well. We Dalish are greatly enjoying having our own little piece of Ferelden," she answered.

"Alistair, please. We've known each other too long to stand on formality," he said. "Now, what can I do for you? Oh, and you don't mind if the chancellor stays, do you?" he asked.

Lanaya gave him an accessing look. "I'm sure you would make him privy to what I'm here about anyway, so he may as well stay," she said.

"Thanks," said Eamon. _I think. _

"I have had an unorthodox request for a meeting with you, Alistair," said Lanaya.

"Oh?," asked Alistair with a quirk to his eyebrow. "And who would this request be from?"

"I can't tell you, and the meeting is to take place outside of the palace," she replied.

"What!" started Eamon.

Alistair held up his hand to stop Eamon. "I must admit I'm intrigued. Why can't you tell me?"

"I've promised as keeper not to reveal the identify of the person you are to meet."

"This is out of the question, Alistair," said Eamon. "You can't go meeting unknown people _outside_ of the palace. That's crazy! For Maker's sake, you're the king! People don't demand you come to them; they come to you."

Alistair continued to meet Lanaya's eyes. She gazed calmly back at him. "Where and when would this meeting take place?" he asked. "And what is the purpose?"

"I would wish I could tell you more, but I will tell you all I can. The meeting place is a certain campsite I'm assured you will remember located a few hours outside of Denerim. I am to mention a glade and a pond. Do you know the location I'm talking about? "

Alistair dropped back into his chair still watching Lanaya's face. "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I do know the location." _It has to be one of our companions from the Blight. No one else would know that campsite, or realize what it meant to me. But which one of them would insist on a clandestine meeting? Why wouldn't they just come to the palace and ask to see me? Who would use Lanaya as an intermediary? _

Lanaya continued, "The meeting is to be at a date of your choosing and is to be between just you and this other person, no guards. Your guards may accompany you to the general area, but are not to accompany you to the glade."

"Alistair, you cannot do this," Eamon stated urgently. "You cannot go to a meeting without guards. You can't! It could be a trap."

"Calm down, Eamon," said Alistair.

Alistair turned his attention back to Lanaya. "I don't believe I have anything to fear from this meeting, do I, Lanaya?" he asked.

Lanaya nodded her head regally, "That is correct. The person who will be meeting you wishes you no harm, in fact, the reverse. That I _can_ promise you. I also say that you really want to make this meeting, Alistair. You will regret it always if you don't. I would also recommend that you plan to spend a few days away." A small smile graced her face as she continued, "I think you will be glad you arranged for the extra time, but that is your choice. As far as to the purpose, well that will be explained to you then. Do you agree?"

"No, we don't," said Eamon.

"Yes," said Alistair decisively. "I'll be there. When's a good time, Eamon?"

"Never," he answered.

"Eamon," said Alistair in exasperation. "I'm doing this. Will three days away be enough, Lanaya?"

"I'm sure that will be fine," she answered. "When?"

Alistair mulled over his calendar, which his clerk kept up to date for him. "I have meetings with the ruling council on the 10th and Bann Sighard on the 11th I can't miss. How about 12 September? I should be able to clear three days then. Eamon, you will be in charge here while I'm gone. Do you have anything that conflicts?"

"If I say yes, will you stay?" asked Eamon.

Alistair just shook his head at Eamon. "The 12th then, Lanaya. Is that all right with you?"

Lanaya did some fast figuring in her head. If she sent the message off today, the timing should work. "Yes, that will be fine," she said. "Should we say about noon on the 12th of September?" she asked. "Or is that too early?"

"It should be fine. It doesn't take as long to ride as it does to walk it," said Alistair smiling at the memory. "I won't have to leave that early."

They chatted a little bit longer, and Lanaya took her leave. Then, he had another argument with Eamon about the meeting. Alistair was adamant though. His curiosity was up, and he was going. _Leliana? Zevran? Oghren? Sten? Shale? Morrigan! _He just couldn't figure out who it could be.


	28. Secrets Revealed

The morning of the 12th of September found Elandria awake early, once again. The first few months after her last encounter with the desire demon had been relatively quiet. She hadn't seen it at all when she had made her nightly visits to the Fade. It was almost as though it had known about her determination to resist it, and the demon had attended to other business while lulling her into not worrying about it. However, for the past few weeks, it seemed every time she stepped into the Fade, it was there, wearing Alistair's form, whispering sweet nothings in her ear, trying to tempt her into reliving another memory or creating new ones.

She hadn't had a decent night's sleep in so long she couldn't remember the last time, and she was starting to be affected in her waking hours. She knew she was being too impatient with Kellin. Torin had even remarked about it to her, advising her to take it easy on him and asking if something was wrong. Of course, she couldn't admit to Torin what was troubling her, so she had told him she was fine. Who could she tell or ask advice from about the desire demon in the Dalish camp? She was too ashamed to let Lanaya know what trouble she had gotten herself into. She just had to get through this upcoming meeting with Alistair, and then she would figure out what to do about the demon.

She had almost been surprised when she had received the message from Lanaya telling her Alistair had agreed to all her conditions and would meet her in the glade campsite on the 12th. The nervousness over realizing this _really was going to happen_ and that she would see Alistair again didn't help her sleep either.

The past few days, as she, Torin, Kellin, and Gabriel had been traveling, she kept warning herself over and over not too expect too much from this meeting. _Nothing_ had really changed about the situation that had broken them up. She could not go into this meeting hoping for reconciliation, although as hard as she tried to push the thoughts away she had had daydreams about it. What did she expect, Alistair to declare his undying love for her? Those kind of dreams were for children. They didn't happen in the real world and certainly not to her. No, the important thing for her to remember is that no matter how much he looked like _her_ Alistair, he wasn't. Who knew what changes he had gone through over the past few years, especially as he was living a whole new life?

She knew she was still vulnerable to him, so she had to make sure she kept the upper hand during their meeting. Hopefully, he would be off balance when he realized that she wasn't dead, and she could inform him about Kellin, talk about their plans for their son, and then he would leave. The less time she actually had to spend around him, the better as far as she was concerned.

They had arrived at the glade campsite late yesterday afternoon. She and Torin had quickly fallen into a comfortable routine in setting up camp as they had traveled up The West Road, and luckily there had been no other travelers staying at the glade. They had had an early dinner and all found their beds.

Giving up on getting any more sleep, Elandria crawled out of her tent and moved quietly around the campsite. "Good morning, Gabe," she said softly as he came pattering up behind her. He just rubbed his head against her hip.

When she listened, she could hear both Torin and Kellin breathing in their tent. It was just past dawn and there had been a heavy dew the night before. She reached back in her tent for her hooded cloak and drew it around her as the morning was cool. Unable to settle herself for the thoughts of the coming meeting racing through her head, she headed off towards the pond with Gabriel in tow. Not much seemed to have changed in the years since she had been here. This site must get semi-regular use as the path through the woods remained. She listened as the morning sounds increased as more and more creatures became active around her.

She arrived at the pond and sat down on the trunk of a fallen tree. It looked like someone had gone to great trouble to drag it and place it by the edge of the pond. She was thankful for the convenient seat. Her thoughts wandered. Kellin had been ecstatic and full of himself these past days as he thought they were on a great adventure. She had considered telling him that he was to meet his father, but decided against it. She didn't think it would make much difference to a three-year-old whether he knew before the meeting or not. Kellin was such a sunny, happy soul she expected him to take it in stride.

She tried to stop it, but her eyes kept returning to the spot where she and Alistair had made love the last time they were here. Maybe she had picked the wrong location for their meeting, as old memories kept replaying in her mind. She should have picked a neutral spot without any meaning to the two of them, but she wasn't sure she would have gotten him to agree to a blind meeting if she had.

She continued to sit by the pond watching as the sun rose higher in the sky. She wasn't sure if she wanted to hurry it along or stop the sun from rising any further.

* * *

Alistair was also up early on the morning of the 12th. He was looking forward to getting out of the palace and on the road. The trips he made since becoming king were always accompanied by such overwhelming chaos. Everything had to be just so and the trip planned down to the second, where he would go, who he would see, who would accompany him. For this trip, he was only taking the three guards he trusted the most; Hugh, Adair, and Reilly. They would be out of uniform, and he would able to travel in comfortable clothes for a change instead of those designed to impress others on his journey. Eamon had been pressing him about the trip ever since the meeting with Lanaya and wanted him to wear armor the whole time. Alistair had refused. He was planning on carrying Starfang with him, though he was leaving Duncan's shield on the wall where it always hung. He really didn't expect a fight, and with being on horseback, it would have been more of an encumbrance than anything else.

After Alistair was dressed and had eaten, he met his three guards and they went to the stables to retrieve their mounts and the packhorses. Alistair hadn't ridden much before becoming king, but he did know his way around horses from his time in the Redcliffe stables. It amazed him how little they had gotten by with when they were traveling fighting the Blight. Now, they were four men going for three days and they required not one but _two_ packhorses? Alistair hated to think of what extra junk they were hauling with them, but he figured as long as he didn't have to deal with it, he wasn't going to complain. After they left the city and were cantering down the road, Alistair realized this was as free as he had felt since becoming king. The depression that had hung over him for months lifted. On the back of a well-trained horse, in his simple trousers, shirt, and comfortable leather boots, it was a good day.

The four men took their time and had an uneventful trip. Alistair had his guards set up a picket line for the horses a short distance from where his meeting was to take place. He gave strict orders that they were not to follow him, even if Eamon had made them promise to do so. Judging from the sheepish expression on Hugh's face, Eamon had done just that. He assured his three men that he was in no danger, and they all reluctantly agreed not to follow him.

Shortly before noon, Alistair set out for the glade alone.

* * *

Elandria had sent Gabe, Torin, and Kellin off to the pond. Torin and Kellin were going to try their hand at some fishing. She had arranged that they would stay at the pond until she brought Alistair there. Her stomach hurt from her nervousness. Now, that the time was almost here, she was regretting setting up this meeting. Maybe Alistair had changed more than she was expecting. What if Alistair wanted Kellin to live in Denerim and wouldn't let her see him? What if he was angry she kept him a secret and denied Kellin? She just needed to calm down and clear her mind. She took a couple of deep breaths and tried to exhale all the tumultuous thoughts out of her mind and body.

She was standing off to one side of the glade. She was still wearing her hooded cloak, trousers, shirt, and boots. Her hair had grown long in the last four years, and she had braided it up out of her way this morning. She was still unprepared when she heard the unmistakable sounds of someone moving into the glade. She felt her heart speed up at the sound. _Control. Stay in control. _

"Good morning, your Majesty," she said as she started to turn around to face him.

Alistair stopped short as the voice from the hooded figure made the hairs on the back of his neck rise. It was Lanie's voice. He took a sharply indrawn breath and said angrily, "What game is this? Who are you?"

Elandria finished her turn and drew the hood of her cloak down. "It's me, Alistair," she said.

Alistair felt his heart actually skip a beat and then it felt like all the blood in his body rushed to his head. _LANIE! It couldn't be! She was dead! _He strode over to whoever this person was and took her face in his hands. He searched her face looking for the truth. He saw the same eyes that he had stared into so many times, the small scar on the left side of her face that she had acquired in a fight against a hurlock, and the break in her right eyebrow where a dagger had sliced just barely missing her eye. "Lanie?" he finally whispered.

Her eyes had been drinking him in while he had been examining her. She forced herself to look away and answered, "Yes, Alistair. It really is me." He had changed since the last time she had seen him. In the past, he had tried not be noticed and not stand out from the crowd. Now, he carried himself with a physical presence that she could almost feel tingling against her nerve endings. His face had matured. There were a few small lines around his eyes, but they were still the same pools of golden brown she had lost herself in years ago. His hair still carried the hints of chestnut that would blaze in the sunlight. She had to forcefully restrain the urge she had to reach out and run her hands through it. He looked tired though, and as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Lanie! You're alive!" he grabbed her, drew her against his chest, and held her. Just as quickly he pulled back and held her by her shoulders. "Wait, I carried your body down from Fort Drakon. How are you here and alive? Where have you been all this time? Why did you let me think you were dead?"

Elandria was feeling decidedly shaky at his nearness. When he had pulled her against him, all she had wanted to do was melt into the warmth of his body. His scent was overpowering. It had changed slightly. No longer was there the smell of armor, but it was unmistakably Alistair. She took a small step back breaking his hold on her. Alistair gave a small frown at her distancing herself from him.

"I'll explain everything. Just bear with me," she promised. She moved over to her campsite. "Would you like some tea?' she asked as she felt the need to be doing something and to be _away _from him.

"No, I don't want any tea! I want some answers," said Alistair angrily as he followed closely behind her. "Why-did-you-let-me-think-you-were-dead?" he asked each word distinctly and separately.

She really wished he would give her some distance. She couldn't think very well with him so close to her. She dropped to the ground by the fire and sat cross-legged with her hands in her lap. "Sit," she directed him, "And we'll talk."

Alistair removed Starfang from his back and laid it on the ground by the fire. He then sat down beside her with his knees drawn up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs. "So talk," he commanded, his eyes never leaving her. As she began a fantastic tale full of Fort Drakon, Morrigan, and the Brecilian forest, he tried to listen and hear what she was saying. His mind kept interjecting thoughts into his head, though. _She's even more beautiful now than she was years ago. _He pulled his attention back to her voice. _She seems so distant. I wonder what she really feels. _Once again, he forced himself to listen to her as her tale continued. _Why won't she look at me? _He watched the expressions as they crossed her face. He watched as she crinkled her brow when she was considering what to say next, the same as she had always done. _I wonder if she has anyone else? _His eyes dropped to her hands, but he didn't see any rings. _Maker help me, I still want her. I want to drag her back to Denerim kicking and screaming, if necessary and never let her go. _"Wait," he said. "You were in Denerim and you left without seeing me?"

Elandria gave a slight blush. So far, she had kept all mention of her pregnancy and Kellin out of her story. She figured she would give him one shock at a time. "Yes, I did," she said softly. "When I had recovered enough to make the trip, I went to Denerim to let you know I was still alive, but when I found out you were married, I thought at the time it would be best to just leave things the way they were. Our relationship was over, and it just seemed easier to let you get on with your new life while I went and found one for me."

"Lanie," he started with a wealth of feeling in his voice. He felt an almost physical stab in his chest as he realized that she had deliberately made the decision to let him continue to think she was dead. The pain cut deeper as he realized it was his own fault she had felt she couldn't come to him. He was the one who had cast her away, who had broken what had been between them and made her believe he thought she wasn't good enough for him.

"Don't," she said sharply as she jumped up and started moving away from him. "Don't call me that. You don't have the right anymore."

He moved faster than she expected and grabbed hold of her arm, turning her to face him. It drove him crazy that she wouldn't meet his eyes. "Look at me," he demanded.

Slowly she dragged her eyes to his, "Let go of me!" she ordered him.

Four years ago he would have. At her slightest displeasure he would have been backing off, but not today. Over the years in dealing with the council and the nobles of Ferelden, Alistair had learned how to stand for what he believed in and wanted, and right now, he wanted her. Instead of releasing his grip on her, he softened it, but pulled her closer. He dropped his head and pressed his mouth gently to hers. With his other hand, he cupped her cheek. He could feel her trembling against him, but she wasn't kissing him back. He drew back enough to whisper to her. "Be my Lanie, again," he said hoarsely as his breath came raggedly through his throat. The feel of the skin of her cheek under his hand when he had thought never to experience it again was like a miracle to him. He had missed her for so long. It seemed unreal that she could be standing within the circle of his arms once again.

It was the gentleness that almost did her in. She had forgotten how gentle he could be for being such a strong man. She stood stiff in his embrace, her body shaking, wanting nothing more than to throw her arms around him and abandon herself to the bliss of his kiss. She couldn't, though. She had to think of Kellin first. She brought both of her hands up and pushed against his chest. "Stop, please," she begged him. "Let me go, Alistair. I can't be with you, and it's just too hard," she admitted.

Alistair lifted his head and dropped his arms, releasing her. "Come back to Denerim with me," he heard himself say before even realizing he was going to. "Stay with me," he pleaded.

"You mean be your mistress," Elandria stated flatly.

"I mean be my love again. Let's be together like we were before. Move into my quarters with me and never leave," Alistair countered.

Elandria moved away from him, almost hugging herself with her arms, while Alistair watched her wondering what she was thinking. She wasn't surprised by the intensity of her feelings. She knew from her experiences with the desire demon that she still loved and wanted Alistair. What surprised her was that he would want her. She had spent so long pounding it into her own head that there was no chance he would have any of the same feelings for her that she was floundering with the evidence that maybe she had been wrong all this time. Maybe it was possible he still cared for her and wanted her. "If it was just the two of us, I'd take that offer, and everyone else be damned," Elandria finally said as she turned back to face him. "But there's more at stake here than just you and me, and there's something else you need to know."

"Which is?" he asked.

She turned away from him again and stared into the trees. Alistair stayed standing right at her side. She was confusing him. He was getting mixed messages from her. He knew she was still affected by him. He could tell in the way her body reacted to him. Why was she trying to push him away? She was quiet for so long he was beginning to think she wasn't going to answer him, and he was starting to worry what this new secret was.

"You didn't ask me any questions about my story," she said. "You didn't ask me _how_ I survived the Archdemon's death."

"I was getting to it. I was covering what I considered the more important items first," he answered. "But, all right, how did you survive the Archdemon's death?"

Elandria closed her eyes. This was the reason she had come here today, to tell him about Kellin, but she wasn't doing a very good job of staying in control. As a matter of fact, he seemed to be more in control than she was. She hadn't expected him to come after her like he had. The Alistair she had known would never have had the confidence to pursue her like he had done today. She steeled her nerve. She opened her eyes and turned to face him once again. She managed to choke out through her suddenly tight throat, "I didn't kill the Archdemon, Alistair. Our son did."

She saw his eyes widen as her words sunk in. "We-we have-there's a child, and he lives?" he asked.

She nodded to him, and he spun away from her. He turned back almost as quickly, "How? How is it possible that you and I could have had a child together while my daughter _died_, and she only had one parent who was a Grey Warden?" he asked urgently.

"Morrigan and I spent a lot of time discussing this while I was recovering in the forest," she answered him. "We postulated many theories, but our best guess was that Grey Wardens can get pregnant just fine. It's the actual carrying and development of the child that is the issue because of the taint. We think that many babies are lost right at the beginning before the woman even knows she is pregnant. When our child destroyed the tainted soul of the Archdemon, it must have cleared the taint from him as well. Morrigan thinks that if I hadn't put that sword through the dragon's head and taken in the Archdemon's taint, that I would have lost the baby, probably within days. But these are just our guesses, Alistair. We don't know for sure."

Alistair needed a few minutes to take this all in. He walked to the edge of the glade and rested his arms and forehead against the thick branch of a huge maple tree. He closed his eyes as thoughts of children, taint, and Archdemons whirled through his head.

Elandria watched Alistair as he tried to absorb this latest shock. After a few minutes of silence from him, she followed him to the side of the glade. "Alistair?" she asked hesitantly.

"You have no idea what this means to me, Lanie," he said without turning around. Elandria let the Lanie comment slide by. "Do you know anything about my life these past years?" he asked.

"Yes," she admitted. "Lanaya told me about your daughter and your wife leaving you. I'm so sorry, Alistair. It must have been hard. I can't imagine losing a child."

"What's worse is I-I killed her, Lanie, and I can't tell anybody I did it. It's tearing me up, and I don't know what to do with the guilt."

Elandria could see him shaking now. She wasn't sure if she should just leave him alone. She didn't want to give him the wrong idea, but she couldn't stand to see him hurting either. Finally, she took his arm and drew him back over to the campfire where she pulled him down on the ground beside her.

She reached up and put her hand on the side of his face and brought his eyes to meet hers. She could see the glistening of tears in his. "What are you talking about? There is no way you killed your daughter, Alistair. I know you better than that."

"I just as well may have. She died of the taint. She had blight disease."

"Oh, oh Alistair," she said sadly. She drew his head down and cradled it against her. "I understand," she said, and she did for the same death threat ran through her veins as well. "You did not kill your daughter. The fact she had the taint wasn't your fault because you didn't purposefully give it to her. You have to let it go, Alistair. If not, the poison of the guilt will destroy you and any chance of happiness you have."

Alistair's emotions were raw. Finding Lanie alive and hearing he had a son had ripped down the wall he had built to contain all those things he couldn't face or deal with, and they were now free inside him. Being held by Lanie had always been his refuge, and now he could finally let everything go. How long he sat there, held against her, crying his heart out, he couldn't have said. He cried for the loss of Moria, for Briana's pain, for the son he hadn't known he had, and for his mistaken belief in Lanie's death. Elandria just rocked him, stroked his head soothingly, and murmured encouragement to him to let it out so he could be free of it all.

When the storm finally passed and he was lying quietly against her, he felt her start to draw away. He reached out and took hold of her wrist and said, "Don't, please. Tell me about our son." He knew he should be embarrassed for having broken down like that, but oddly enough he wasn't. He felt lighter than he had in months, years maybe, and he didn't want to break the feeling of completeness he felt at being close to Lanie once more.

Elandria hesitated, knowing she should back away from him to give them both distance, but she couldn't ignore the pleading in his voice. She settled for dropping her hands from his head, but allowed him to continue to lay against her. "Well, where do I start?" she asked. "He just turned three. His name is Kellin. He's a beautiful boy, Alistair. He has my blue eyes, but he looks more like you than me in facial features. His hair color is in-between both of ours. He has the sweetest smile and is smart as a whip."

"Kellin, I like that. I wish I could see him," said Alistair dreamily.

"Well, you can. I've brought him along," said Elandria matter-of-factly.

Alistair pushed back from her and jumped up to a half crouch at those words. "He's here?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course, he's here. Where else would he be?" she asked with a laugh.

Alistair's eyes began darting around the clearing.

"Well, he's not _right_ here, but close enough. I wanted to talk with you first. He's fishing at the pond."

Alistair just looked at her. She couldn't help it. She started laughing and she couldn't stop.

"What?" he asked. _Well, at least I can still make her laugh. That has to be good, right? How I've missed hearing her laugh. _

"Your face," she had to stop as she started giggling again. "You looked just like you did that time you were trying to get Leliana to give you some of her special Orlesian cheese." He just grinned at her. "Come on, Alistair," she said getting up off the ground and brushing herself off. "Let's go see our boy."

As they started down the path side by side, Alistair asked her, "So who is with him while you've been here in the glade?"

"Well, there's Gabe and-" Elandria started.

"Gabe!" broke in Alistair. "Our Gabe, the mabari?" he asked.

"Yes," said Elandria. "He's been with me since I came to Denerim. He found me the day I came to the palace and has been with me ever since."

Alistair stopped walking. "But the day he disappeared, that was the day I-I mean …" he trailed off.

"Yes," agreed Elandria, making light of what she had felt that day. "That's another reason I didn't see you. I figured it would be tacky, even for me, to have your obviously pregnant, presumed dead, elven ex-lover show up at your wife's coronation."

"I wish I would have known," he said softly.

"It's done, Alistair. We can't change the past. We can only control what happens from here." She resumed walking. "Torin's with him also."

"Torin?" asked Alistair.

"He's one of the Dalish. He's Kellin's liege man. I'll explain it all to you later," she said as they were approaching the pond.

When they came out of the trees, Alistair's eyes immediately went to the small boy who was standing at the water's edge with a homemade fishing pole in his hands. There was an elven man with twin daggers on his back standing beside him who turned to look at them when Gabe gave a bark. When he turned, Alistair could see the tattoos of the Dalish running down his face. Gabe was lying a short distance away, but stayed where he was as Alistair and Elandria came closer. Alistair saw the man put his arm around Kellin's shoulders as he leaned down to say something to him. Alistair felt a bolt of jealousy go through him at that. This man had been able to be around his son while Alistair hadn't even known about him. The boy handed his rod to the man, and they leaned over to pull a stick out of the ground that held a selection of fish. The man just stood at the water's edge watching as the little boy took off.

"Mamae!" yelled the boy, running towards Elandria as best as he could while carrying the stick full of fish. Gabe followed behind barking excitedly. "See what we caught. I got the biggest one! See!"

"Wow, Kellin," said Elandria crouching down to him. "You are a great fisherman. I guess you and Torin are providing dinner tonight, huh?" She looked over at Torin, and he seemed to take that as permission to join them.

When Torin had heard Gabe bark, he had turned to see Elandria and a human man he assumed was Kellin's father coming towards them. He studied the man, all ready figuring out how he would take him in a fight if he had to. Torin hoped this Alistair wouldn't hurt Elandria again, but he was ready to defend both her and Kellin, if necessary. He hadn't been around many humans, but he wondered if there were all as big as this man was. He took Kellin's fishing rod and helped him pull the stick out of the ground that held their catch so he could take it to show his mamae. When Elandria looked at him, he strode off to join them.

"Alistair, Torin," introduced Elandria. "Torin, Alistair." The two men gave each other a look that seemed to be both assessing and a warning, but then nodded to each other. "Too much testosterone around here," Elandria muttered to herself. "Torin, would you take this please?" she asked as she handed him the fish.

"Of course," he said and took them from her. "I'll just go back to camp and clean these, shall I?" he asked. 'Unless you want me to stay?" he added with a significant look at Alistair.

"No," she said. "You don't have to stay. Kellin will be fine with us."

"Damn, I forgot," said Alistair. "My guards! They'll be wondering where I am." He thought for a moment. "Can I borrow Gabriel for a bit?" he asked Elandria.

"If Gabe doesn't mind," she said.

"Gabe," said Alistair. He bent down to pet him and whispered in his ear. "You lucky dog. You've been with her all this time.". Alistair could swear the dog was laughing at him and telling him he was just smarter than Alistair was. "You remember Hugh, don't you?" he asked.

Gabe gave a bark.

"Can you go get him and bring him back to the clearing? They can start setting up camp." He told Gabriel where he had left his men. Gabe gave a wag of his tail and turned to go as Torin also moved in the direction of the glade.

"Set up camp?" said Elandria questioningly?

"Didn't Lanaya tell you? I'm here for three days," Alistair informed her as his eyes once again sought Kellin.

Elandria felt her stomach sinking. Three days with Alistair? She had expected him to be gone by this evening. _I'm going to kill Lanaya when I see her! _

By this point, Kellin was tugging on Elandria, "Mamae, who is that?" he asked pointing at Alistair.

Elandria let go of her worry about having to be around Alistair for a few days as she turned her attention to this last important bit of information she had to impart. She took the boy's hand and led him over to the tree she had used as a seat just this morning. She sat down and pulled him up in her lap. She indicated with her eyes that Alistair should take a seat beside her. "Kellin, you know how Kaneath is Torin's father, right?" she asked.

"Yes," said Kellin, then he turned his attention to Alistair. "I have a father," he said importantly, "but he can't be with mamae and me."

Alistair felt his heart clench at those words delivered so baldly from the little boy. "What else has your mamae told you about your father?" he asked.

"I really don't think-," Elandria started uneasily, but Kellin was already answering Alistair's question.

"Mamae says he is the kindest, bestest man in the world," said Kellin.

Elandria squirmed uncomfortably. "I think that is enough," she said.

"No," disagreed Alistair with an evil grin at her. "Kellin, I want to hear what else your mamae said about your father."

"Mamae says he loves me and wants to be with me, but he can't, and it makes him sad," said Kellin. "He has to take care of a lot of people, and even though he wants to, he can't come see me because of that," he finished earnestly.

By the time the boy had finished speaking, the grin had dropped off his face, and Alistair's heart was in his throat. He felt the sting of tears in the corner of his eyes, "Your mamae is right," he said.

"Do you think so?" Kellin asked him seriously.

Alistair looked at Elandria for permission. She nodded her head.

"I know so," he answered. "You know how I know that?" he asked Kellin.

"How?"

"Because I'm your father," Alistair said gently. He had been sitting leaning over with his arms on his legs so he would be on the same level as the child. He saw Kellin's eyes widen with his words and then he gave Alistair a probing look.

Finally, Kellin reached out and touched Alistair's ear with one hand and put his other hand up to his ear, "Mamae!" he exclaimed.

Elandria was almost in tears herself at this point, but she laughed and hugged the boy. "Yes, Kellin," she said. "You have your father's ears." She looked at Alistair. "I've tried to explain it to him, but he could never understand why he didn't have pointed ears like the rest of us."

Alistair still hadn't moved his eyes from the little boy. When Kellin had touched his ear, he had felt his heart pound even harder. "Will you come to me, Kellin?" he asked softly holding his hands out to him.

Kellin looked at his mother and then climbed over to Alistair's lap. Elandria watched as Alistair settled Kellin comfortably against him with an expression of such happiness that she felt guilty for not telling Alistair about Kellin before.

"Wow," said Kellin. "You have a _big_ lap!"

Elandria laughed and stood up. "I'm going to go see if Torin needs any help with those fish. Will you two be okay for a bit?"

"Yes, Mamae," said Kellin from his position in Alistair's lap. Alistair just nodded at her.

"I'll be in the glade then when you are ready to join us," she said.

As she was walking away, she heard Kellin say, "I'm glad you could finally come see me…"


	29. Camping With the King

_A.N.: Thanks to melismo and everyone who continues to read and enjoy the story. _

* * *

When Elandria walked into the glade, Torin was efficiently cleaning the fish he and Kellin had caught. He looked up at her, "So that's him, huh?"

"Yes," said Elandria. "Could you tone down the protectiveness a bit, please? He's not going to hurt Kellin."

"Kellin's not the one I'm worried about," he answered her.

Elandria rolled her eyes at him as she heard Gabe barking in the distance. "Gabriel must be bringing the guards in. Be _nice _and play well with others," she said.

"Yes, mamae," Torin said mockingly.

When Alistair's guards entered the clearing, Elandria was pleased to notice how professional they were. They quickly spread out, all eyes checking out the area and looking for their king. She saw them note Starfang lying on the ground.

She walked up to the man that she assumed was in charge. "Greetings," she said. "I'm Elandria. Alistair asked that you all begin setting up camp. He'll be here shortly."

"Where is the king?" Hugh asked the elf woman, not liking her familiar use of his first name. His eyes roamed over her and then past to resume his search for his lord.

"He's down the trail a bit. He's fine," she answered.

"I'll just go check and make sure," he said as his eyes were drawn back to her face. There was something familiar about this elf. He was sure he had seen her before. _Wait a minute. Did she say her name was Elandria? _"Are you…no, it can't be," he said.

She sighed. "Yes, I'm that Elandria," she admitted.

"But-"

"It's a long story, but I didn't die that day at Fort Drakon," she said.

His attitude was a lot more respectful as he gave her a half bow and said, "If you would excuse me, I will try and find my king now."

"No," said Elandria. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. I think he would be much happier with you if you followed his order and set up camp. I swear to you he is fine and in no danger."

Hugh gave her a long measuring look. "As you wish," he said. "I guess I can take the Hero of Ferelden's word." He went over to the other two, and they proceeded to start unloading and hobbling the horses.

Elandria walked over to the three men. "I didn't get your names," she said. Hugh hurriedly remembered his manners and introduced the other two men to her. _This Hero of Ferelden thing was going to get tiresome. I have to remember to give Alistair a hard time for giving me such a mouthful of a title. _"Either Warden or Elandria is fine," she said. "My companion is Torin." Torin gave a nod that encompassed all three men. "I'll leave you to your business."

Elandria went over to start digging in their supplies to see what else they had for dinner since their numbers were about to be expanded. She was still trying to come to terms with that fact that Alistair would be here for three days. Torin was over on the other side of camp when she saw his head come up suddenly. He turned to her. "They're coming," he said. She nodded, but continued with what she was doing. The three guards looked at them in confusion, not understanding what Torin was talking about.

In a few minutes, Alistair strolled into the glade carrying Kellin on his shoulders. Hugh was relieved to see his king. When he saw the child the king was carrying and noted the similarities between the two, his eyes narrowed and darted from the king to Elandria and back again. He rapidly reassessed the situation they were dealing with. He was pleased to note how relaxed and happy his lord looked, though.

"Hugh," exclaimed Alistair. "Glad you made it." His eyes moved to the camp the men were setting up. "What is that?" he asked pointing.

"It's your tent, Sire," said Hugh.

"That's not a tent. That's a sodding pavilion!" exclaimed Alistair.

"Chancellor's orders," was all Hugh said.

Alistair just sighed and shook his head.

* * *

Later that night, after Alistair had spent the whole day with Kellin laughing and playing, Torin had finally taken the young boy off to bed, but only after Alistair solemnly promised Kellin that he would still be there tomorrow. Kellin's earnest, "Good night, Father," followed by a kiss to Alistair's cheek had caused more than one set of eyes in the camp to tear up. Once the two had moved off to their tent, that left only Elandria, Alistair, and his three guards at the fire.

After a look from Alistair, Hugh said, "Reilly, you had better get some sleep. You have early morning watch. Adair, come with me please. I have something I need to discuss with you." The three men made their rapid departures.

"Well, that was smooth," commented Elandria.

"They are good men," said Alistair. "I trust them implicitly."

"I can see that," she said. They were both quiet for a bit as they sat staring into the fire. Alistair scooted over to be closer to her, but not too close. He didn't want to run her off.

"So, what are your plans as far as Kellin is concerned?" she finally asked, still not looking at him.

"What do you mean?"

Elandria wished she didn't have to ask this straight out, but obviously he was going to make her. "Are you planning on acknowledging him or did you want him raised hidden away, like you were?"

Alistair drew in his breath with a hiss as he almost physically recoiled backwards. "That was a cheap shot," he stated. "Of course I'll acknowledge him."

"Are you going to make him your heir?"

"Yes, I'll have no more children," stated Alistair. "After losing Moira, I'm not willing to take any more chances on having that happen again."

"I see," said Elandria. "What story are you going to give out about his mother? Are you willing to admit you had a relationship with an elf to everyone in Ferelden?" she asked curiously.

"Elandria, you are his mother. That's the truth and that is what people who want to know will be told. Did you think I would lie and make up some story that was more acceptable to certain people?" he asked.

She was quiet for a bit before speaking, "It's an unspoken truth that many human men are attracted to elven women. Not many, however, would freely admit it in public, and you are the king. You have more pressures placed on you than most men bear. I wasn't sure how much you would have changed in the past four years, how much strength of character you would have developed, or how driven you would be to keep the life you have. After all, you were willing to throw away what we had even before you became king because I was different than expectations. By not even being willing to discuss the situation or listen to me that day at the Arl's, you had already proven that your position as king meant more to you than I did. How was I supposed to know what you would be willing to do four years later to hang on to your title or to have your son accepted?" _And like a fool, I still kept loving you, even after all this time. _

Alistair felt his stomach drop at her words. She was right, though. He had cut and run on her right after the Landsmeet decision without even giving them a chance. He had been so sanctimonious, with his mind full of thoughts of doing his duty. "I was wrong. You don't know how many times I wished I had-"

She held up her hand. "Stop, Alistair. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to go back over the past with you. I went over and over it enough on my own. I finally came to a place where I could accept the fact that at one point you had loved me, but us being together long term wasn't meant to be. I just don't want to rehash it all again tonight. Let's get back to what is important now and that is Kellin's future. What are your exact plans for him? If you are going to claim him as heir, I assume he will have to live at the palace with you."

"I would love to have him at the palace with me, but what about you? What are your plans?"

"I thought if you wanted him in Denerim, I would go back to the Wardens and hope you would allow me to see him as often as I could."

"Lanie! I mean Elandria," he said trying to honor her wish. "I would never not let you see him. He obviously loves you very much."

"Thank you for that," she said. "But whatever happens, Torin stays with him. That's nonnegotiable." They had explained all about the Lenayath to Alistair earlier in the day.

"Did you ever consider all of us staying together?" he asked.

"You mean Kellin and me with you in Denerim?"

"Yes," he said.

"Even if I wanted to-" she started.

"Would you want to?" he broke in. "I mean if there was nothing to stop us, none of these things that seem to always stand between us, would you _want _to be with me again?"

Elandria rose to her feet and walked away from the fire with her arms wrapped around herself. Alistair stood and followed her. "It doesn't matter what I want," she said. "Because there _are_ all those things between us and you know it. That's why you left me in the first place."

She was just as stubborn as ever and still refusing to answer his question. He tried again, "Do you remember the one promise I made to you that year we were together?" he asked.

"Yes," she said softly. "I remember."

"I've kept that promise. I've never forgotten you or stopped loving you. I've wanted you beside me every day you've been gone. Now that I know you're alive, don't you know how it is going to torment me not to have you with me?" he asked as he reached out, took hold of her, and drew her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her placing his hands over her stomach. "I'm in a much stronger position with the nobles now than I was four years ago," he softly said into her ear. "You, Kellin, Torin, and Gabe, come back to Denerim with me."

When she hesitated, he thought she would agree, but then she pulled away from him. "The answer you are looking for is yes, Alistair. Yes, I would want to be with you if I could, but I can't."

"Why not?" asked Alistair in frustration.

"Because of Kellin," she said. "It's one thing that we slept together years ago before you were king. It's a whole other thing when the Prince of Ferelden's mother is the king's whore, and that's exactly how he would hear his mother spoken about. You know how cruel children are. It wouldn't just be children either. I can just imagine what kind comments the 'noble people' of Ferelden would have to say about the king's _elven_ mistress and how much respect that would garner Kellin. I can't do it, Alistair. I can't do that to him. He's going to have enough to overcome just having an elven mother. I'm sorry." She walked back to the fire and dropped back down by it again, wrapping her arms around her legs, and resting one cheek on her knees.

Alistair watched her, awed again at how much strength she carried in such a small body. He was ashamed of himself. He had never thought of the considerations she had just voiced. All he had been able to think about was getting her (and their son) back in his life and what he wanted. He had to start thinking of his son first, like Lanie did. Finally, he walked over and crouched down beside her. She lifted her head and tilted it to look at him. "If I find a way, an honorable way, a good way for Kellin, would you come back to me?" he asked.

She stared into his eyes for what seemed a very long time. Finally, she spoke. "In a heart beat," she said and smiled.

He smiled back at her. "Good," he said and then he leaned over and kissed her. It was a chaste kiss, nothing more than a pressing of his lips against hers, but she knew it was a promise as well. It was a promise that he would do right by both her and Kellin and that he would find a way to undo the hurts of the past and heal what he had broken between them. "Good night, Elandria," he said. "I have some thinking I need to do. I'll see you in the morning." He turned and headed toward his tent.

"Good night, Alistair. Sleep well," she said. "And Alistair.."

"Yes?" he paused without turning around.

"You can still call me Lanie," she said.

Alistair smiled to himself, "Night, Lanie."

* * *

As Alistair moved around his tent getting ready for bed, he knew he must have his goofy smile on his face, the one that their old companions used to tease him about, but Alistair didn't care. He just couldn't believe that this morning he had thought he would never be a father and now he had a son, and what a son! He was sure that Kellin was the smartest, bravest, cutest boy ever born. As he threw himself down on his bedroll, he thought, _And Lanie's still alive as well! _He had to figure it out. There had to be a way the three of them could be together. What he had told Lanie was true. He was in a much stronger position now than four years ago. He had held onto the kingship through the subsequent Landsmeets with no contenders being put in opposition to him. He had managed to get items through the council and brought into effect that were not popular with the nobles, such as the clinic for the elves, improving trade with the dwarves, and other reforms. He had personally spearheaded the drive to recover after the Blight. Surely, he could find a way that he could be with Lanie. He just had to think about it. His mind was racing with possibilities when he finally dropped off to sleep.

When Alistair woke up, he had a glimmer of an idea. He mulled over it throughout the day. It was definitely the best day he had had since becoming king. He spent it all with Lanie and Kellin, and there were times when it felt like they were a real family. He couldn't believe what a joy Kellin was and how lucky he was to be his father. The times when Lanie smiled at him he had thought for sure she would be able to hear the thud of his heart as it beat louder. He finally was able to get his hands on her under the guise of a tickle fight with her and Kellin, but that ended too soon, and she slipped away.

His guards had done their best to be unobtrusive, but of course, they followed him everywhere. When he took Kellin fishing at the pond, gave him a ride on his horse, and helped Kellin hold Starfang, they were right there. Kellin was duly impressed when Alistair drew the sword and he could see the flickering from the lightening rune running up and down the blade. Kellin had then excitedly informed him that Torin had already promised him his first dagger on his next birthday. (Little did Kellin realize it would have a blunt tip and no edge to the blade.) He went on to let Alistair know that Torin was already starting to teach him the first part of the dances. When Alistair asked him what they were, he received an unbelieving look from Kellin and was told that he should see Mamae and Torin dance together. They were the best ones in the camp. At this point, Alistair had heard quite enough about Torin and threw him an unfriendly look. Torin just lifted his eyebrow at Alistair in a "Who me?" gesture.

Alistair wasn't sure how he felt about this Torin and Kellin binding. He thought it was a good idea on one hand, as Kellin would always have protection, but somehow the idea of someone else being closer to his son than him made Alistair feel like hitting something, hitting it very, very hard. He was also most interested in exactly _what_ the relationship was between Lanie and Torin. He had to be too young for her, didn't he? In observing them, he had noticed that they seemed to function as a well-oiled team, but he didn't really pick up any hints that they had any type of a _personal _relationship. When they would laugh at something that wasn't really stated or finish the other's sentence, he had to grit his teeth so as not to say something he would regret later.

Alistair had hoped to get to spend some more time with Lanie that night after Kellin went to bed, but somehow he found himself with Kellin staying in his tent that night. Of course, he had to go and get Kellin settled. By the time Kellin had fallen asleep, and he had returned to the campfire, Lanie had already gone to her tent for the night.

When Alistair took Kellin to his tent for the night, Elandria had beat a hasty retreat. She could not allow herself the luxury of spending time with Alistair alone. She wasn't certain of her control, which was a bad thing for a mage to admit about anything. These past two days had been such a delicious torment. It was more time than she had expected to be around him, and it was as tricky as dancing on a knife's edge. One slip and she would be cut to the core. She laid on top of her bedding with her eyes closed, listening. She heard him moving around the tent settling Kellin, telling him a bedtime story, giving Kellin his goodnight kiss. She heard him exit his tent some time later after Kellin had fallen asleep and return to the campfire. She laid with every muscle clenched tight, scarcely breathing, as she waited to hear what he would do next. Would he sit by the fire with his guards and Torin, would he go back to his own tent, would he come to hers? Finally, she heard his footfalls. She let out a ragged breath as she realized he had gone back to his own tent. It wasn't disappointment she was feeling she told herself. She knew Alistair well enough to realize he wouldn't have come to her with everyone still sitting around the fire. Besides, she hadn't wanted him to come here to her. Really, she hadn't, or that's what she told herself anyway.

* * *

Early the next morning, Hugh couldn't sleep. He tossed in his bedroll for a bit, but decided it was no use and proceeded to rise and dress. He exited his tent and went in search of Reilly. He found him on the outer perimeter of the glade leaning against a tree staring off into the ebony darkness beneath the trees.

"Morning, Commander," said Reilly.

"Good morning," replied Hugh. "All quiet?"

"Yes, ser," said Reilly, with a bob of his head that Hugh could barely see in the predawn light.

"I'm up now. Why don't you go find your bedroll, Reilly?" said Hugh.

"Are you sure?" asked Reilly.

"Yes, go on," replied Hugh as he made a shooing motion with his hand. "Just build up the fire before you turn in."

"Yes, ser," said Reilly as he moved off in the direction of the tents.

Hugh proceeded to do a perimeter walk as he mulled over everything that had happened the past few days. He was worried. He didn't know what his king was going to do about this situation. As the commander of Maric's Shield, he was the one responsible for the king's safety, but Hugh wasn't sure he could protect the king from himself. He was really afraid his lord was going to do something stupid, like take the elven warden back to Denerim with him. Wouldn't the nobles love that!

The boy, though, that was a different matter. If they could find some way to hide that fact that the mother was elven, he could help to strengthen the king's position. It didn't hurt that he was such an engaging lad. Hugh had found himself smiling at the child more than once the past two days. Brought to Denerim and declared prince, the people would love him because he looked so much like the king.

The woman was the one that concerned him, not that Hugh had anything against elves. He couldn't have cared less if his lord had been anybody but the king, but king he was. It disturbed him the way his lord looked at her, how the expression on his face softened as he watched her, how his eyes followed her every move, how he made any excuse to be near her. Hugh just didn't see any way this could end well. He had circled the area and was leaning against one of the trees when he heard someone stirring in the camp. He turned his head just enough to see who it was. It was her, the elven warden.

Elandria had another rough night as the desire demon pursued her ruthlessly through the Fade, refusing to take no for an answer. Once she knew dawn was near, she abandoned all attempts at sleep and decided to get up. As she exited the tent, she noticed the fire had burned down. It looked like someone had attempted to build it up, but then left the fire before making sure it caught. Taking a quick glance around and not seeing anyone, she cast a fire spell that caused a large burst of flame to erupt from the waiting wood. Hearing a small gasp from the other side of the clearing, she whirled, her eyes unerringly coming to rest on a form in the trees. No darkspawn were near, so it must be one of the guards. She moved towards the shadowy form, "Hello," she called softly, so as to not disturb the others still sleeping in camp.

"Good morning, Warden," came the hushed voice of Hugh.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," said Elandria. _Nothing like reminding people I'm one of those dangerous crazy mages. Of course, with two ties to a desire demon, how far off that mark, am I? _

"Convenient way to get the fire going, much faster than flint and steel," he replied uneasily.

"I guess it is at that," she said.

Silence fell between them as they continued to stand in the early dawn. Hugh wanted to ask her what was really going on between her and the king, but he knew it wasn't his place. Hugh just wished he knew what he could do to defend his lord. Finally, he said to her while still gazing out at the dark, "Don't hurt him please. He's a good man, a good king. And-" here he hesitated a few seconds, but then plunged on. "The past few months have been hard for him. He's vulnerable right now."

Elandria thought a minute or two before answering. "I've known him a long time, and you're right, he is a good man. You obviously care for him very much. I don't want to hurt him. I'm trying very hard not to let anyone get hurt." After saying this, she turned and left Hugh to his contemplation of the trees as she went back to the warmth of the fire.

* * *

Alistair woke with a heavy heart. He had to leave today. He needed to be back in Denerim by the evening so he would have to depart in the afternoon. He didn't want to go. He wanted to stay in this simple campsite forever. He looked over at Kellin and a smile crossed his face. The fact of his existence still amazed him. He turned on his side, moving closer to Kellin, so he could watch him sleep. He began committing this moment to memory, the way Kellin's eyelashes lay closed against the skin beneath his eyes, the quiet sounds of his breathing, the stray hair drawn across his face that fluttered with every breath, his fist balled beneath his chin, his other arm outstretched, and his legs drawn up. Alistair felt an overwhelming urge to scoop the boy up and hold him against his chest, but he didn't. He didn't want to disturb Kellin's sleep. He contented himself with reaching out very lightly with one finger and drawing it down the side of Kellin's face. The boy was so deeply asleep he didn't even stir.

Alistair let his hand drop away as he considered what he was going to do. He had always wanted a family, and he had thought that he would have that with Briana and Moira. When that had been snatched from him so cruelly, he had thought the dream dead forever. Finding Lanie alive and with their son was another chance, the last chance, for him to _finally _have the family he always wanted. It wasn't all selfishness on his part either. If he acknowledged him and had him declared heir, Kellin would have to be raised at the palace with Alistair, and he didn't want his son to grow up with his mother only dropping by for visits. Alistair saw the real love and caring between them, and he didn't want Kellin deprived of _anything,_ much less his mother's love and affection.

He had to talk to Lanie today. He had the basics of a plan, but he needed her cooperation. For his plan to work, he needed surprise on his side, and he didn't think she would like that. Over the past years, he had learned much in how to move through the lures and traps the nobility set for him at court as they tried to get their own personal goals accomplished. This often resulted in a greater expense to someone else than the benefit that particular noble reaped, and he had learned how to look at more than one side of an issue. He really owed that to Eamon. Whatever Eamon's shortcomings in other areas, the man knew politics. He knew where all the bodies were buried and wasn't afraid to use that for Alistair's benefit either. Alistair had really paid attention that first year or two as king when he had relied on Eamon's guidance, and he had learned a lot. He wasn't sure if the nobles realized that _he_ was the one actually running the country these days or not (still with Eamon's help, of course), but it suited him sometimes to pull out his bumbling boy-king persona and pretend to hide behind Eamon. Alistair had the impression that Eamon found it highly amusing when he did that. His plan had a chance to work, but he would need to be the most manipulative he had ever been to get it accomplished. He hoped he was up to the job.

* * *

At lunchtime, Alistair knew he couldn't put it off much longer. Reilly and Adair already had taken down all their tents and packed everything up. It just remained to load the pack horse and saddle their mounts, and they would be ready to go. He had spent the whole morning with Kellin. For some reason, Lanie was even cooler toward him today and had kept her distance. It made him anxious that she wouldn't go along with his plan. After everyone was done eating, he turned to Lanie. "We need to talk," he told her.

"I guess we do," she agreed.

Torin looked over at them with interest. Seeing that, Alistair said loudly, "Alone."

"She'll just tell me what you talked about anyway," Torin pointed out helpfully.

"Torin," said Elandria with an eye roll. "Cut it out."

"I was just trying to save time."

Elandria stood up. "Alistair, come with me. You," she said pointing at Torin, "stay here and keep an eye on Kellin."

As Alistair followed Lanie, he turned and waved cheekily at Torin before continuing to follow her out of the glade and down that oh-so-familiar path to the pond. About halfway there, she stopped and turned to him.

"So what do you want to do as far as Kellin is concerned?" she asked, getting right to the matter at hand.

"I want you to bring him to Denerim, to the Landsmeet this year. It's next month, after harvest. I have a plan, well, the beginnings of one anyway. For it to work, though, I need the element of surprise," he answered her.

"What's the plan?"

"Um," now for the part she wouldn't like, "I can't tell you," he said.

"What do you mean you can't tell me?"

He reached out for her. She made a move as if she was going to jerk away, but then stood still and let him take her face in his hands. He looked earnestly into her eyes. "I know I don't have any right to ask you this after what has happened between us in the past, but please, Lanie, trust me," he pleaded. "I promise I won't let you down again."

As she stared into his eyes, she felt as if she fell into a pool of warm brown taffy, her thoughts becoming languid. Her breath seemed to catch in her throat as he began rubbing along her cheekbone with his thumb. She saw him bend down and knew she should move away, break the connection between them, but her arms and legs didn't seem to get the message. "Trust me," he breathed as his lips met hers. She was tired of the struggle, of fighting him and fighting herself. Her lips softened under his. With a feeling of triumph, he carefully gathered her closer. His one hand moved from her face to the back of her head to hold her lips more firmly to his. His other hand he ran down to her lower back as he pulled her against him. Her arms came up to drape themselves around his neck, seemingly of their own accord. Her lips parted, and he took her up on the invitation, teasing her tongue with his. As Alistair kissed her, it felt as if his blood was singing. Every nerve in his body was hyperaware and concentrated on her. After all this time, she was back in his arms where she belonged, and it was _glorious_. He never wanted to be apart from her again. He broke the kiss and started to trail urgent kisses down the side of her face, across her neck, to the junction of her collarbone. He bit her lightly and heard her moan in response.

"Alistair," she said huskily.

"Yes, my love," he answered her.

"We have to stop," she said, as she pulled his face back to hers for another passionate kiss.

"I know," he said when he finally lifted his lips from her mouth. He still held her though, and the look in her eyes made him want to lay her on the ground and cover her body with his. She pushed lightly against him so he would release her. She turned and hugged herself, still breathing heavily. He took hold of her and drew her back against him so her back was against the front of his body. He wrapped his arms around her and cradled her in his embrace. She brought her hands to cover his as he felt her relax back into him. He bent his head and turned it so he could rest his cheek on the top of her head. They stood there for what seemed a long time, neither saying anything, just content in the fact that for this moment they were together again.

Alistair still needed the answer to his question and knew that soon the others would come looking for them. He asked her again. "Will you and Kellin come to Denerim next month?"

"Yes."

* * *

The actual departing was one of the hardest things Alistair had ever done. Kellin didn't help matters. He was upset that his father was leaving, sobbing inconsolably and crying huge tears. Alistair finally had to get back off his horse to calm him. He swept the little boy up into his arms and walked with him away from the others.

"Torin," said Elandria, never taking her eyes off Alistair and Kellin. "After Alistair leaves, I want you to take Kellin and see if you can summon Neilla. I'll start breaking down camp. I had thought we would stay until tomorrow morning, but I think it might be easier for Kellin if we move on today. Do you think you will have any trouble calling her in?" Neilla was the halla that had accompanied them on their trip for Kellin to ride, and she also carried a few of their possessions. She had been Torin's special pet while he was growing up, and he had a limited mental connection with her. He was trying to teach Kellin how to communicate with her, but not very successfully as of yet. After they had arrived, they had let Neilla roam free while they were staying in one place. Alistair had insisted on giving them one of the pack horses he had brought with him. Since horses were so rare in Ferelden, only the truly wealthy could afford them. There was no way she could have afforded to purchase one. Alistair told her she would need it for the return trip next month, so they could carry more of their possessions from the Dalish camp. Elandria had gratefully taken him up on the offer. Regardless of whether she stayed in Denerim or not after the Landsmeet, their time with the clan was over, and Kellin and Torin would most probably be staying with Alistair.

"I can try. If I keep calling out to her, even if we start off, she will eventually find us," he said.

Whatever Alistair was saying to the little boy seemed to be working. His tears dried up, and he gave his father a big hug. Alistair walked back over to where Elandria was standing, holding his horse's reins. He gave Kellin one last hug and kiss and said, "I love you, Kellin. I'll always love you. Remember, you, mamae, and Torin will be coming to see me soon. Take care of mamae for me until then."

"I will, Father," said Kellin earnestly.

Alistair turned one last time to Lanie. With the audience they had, he contented himself with just touching the side of her face with his hand, "The Landsmeet?" he asked.

"The Landsmeet," she agreed.

He turned to mount his horse, but spun back and pulled her against him in a hug, not caring that the others were there, "I'll think of you every single day," he said softly for her ears only. "I love you, Lanie."

She just nodded her head against him, relishing the smell and feel of him against her. With that, he took his reins from her, drew them back over his horse's head, gathered them with his left hand, put his foot in the stirrup, and mounted. Elandria picked Kellin up and held him, still watching Alistair, with Gabe at her feet. He gave a little wave to the two of them and then turned his horse in the direction of Denerim. He continued to turn back and wave to Elandria and Kellin as long as he could see them. None of his guards said anything as they fell into position around him.

Once they were out of sight, Alistair put his horse into a trot. After a bit, he pulled him back to a walk. "Hugh, Adair, Reilly, you are the three I trust the most out of your entire unit," he said. "That's why I brought you on this trip. I'm going to need you to do something for me, something that will probably be difficult, as I'm sure other people will be curious as to where we have been and what we have been doing. I need you to not tell _anyone, _and that includes the chancellor, about Lanie and Kellin, or anything else about these three days for that matter. If I have to, I order you not to talk about it. If anyone presses you with questions, send them to me."

All three men promised to keep silent. Hugh was just glad they weren't accompanied by the Warden. He was a little surprised the boy hadn't come with them, but it sounded like his lord had something up his sleeve. He only hoped the king knew what he was about.

Alistair had hated to leave Lanie and Kellin behind. He just kept telling himself it would be worth it in the end. He thought about them the whole way back to Denerim.


	30. Before the Landsmeet

_A.N.: Thanks to melismo for the beta. _

_

* * *

_

When Alistair arrived back in Denerim that evening, he and the others stopped first at the stables to leave their mounts and the pack horse in the capable hands of the stable boys. When the stable master realized it was the king's party arriving, he came down from his quarters located over the barn.

"Did something happen to the other pack horse?" the stable master asked Hugh when he noticed the animal was missing.

"No, it's fine. The king gave it away," said Hugh.

"_Gave_ away? A horse? Huh," said the man.

"Yes," said Hugh sharply. "After all, it's the king's horse and the king's _business_."

"Oh, of course, of course," said the stable master. He rapidly decided that he needed to check that the party's mounts were taken care of properly and hurried away.

Alistair had barely made it back to his room before the chancellor was at his door. He sighed. He had hoped to at least have time for a bath before Eamon cornered him. "Show him in," he told the guard at the door.

Eamon entered the room with a searching glance at Alistair.

"Yes, Eamon," said Alistair. "I'm back and still in one piece, as you can see."

"Which greatly pleases me. How did it go?" Eamon asked.

"Fine," said Alistair and turned away from him. "Anything exciting happen here while I was gone? Did anyone raise a fuss about my impromptu vacation?"

"A couple of the nobles made comments about you being out of the city, but I just told them that you were having a change of scene for a few days. Bann Brodric was here again and raging against those latest trade agreements with the dwarves, though," Eamon replied.

"Why the man can't understand that more trade helps, not hurts his position is beyond me," Alistair said.

"I managed to fob him off, but I expect once he hears you are back, he'll be wanting to see you."

"Wonderful. Something to look forward to," Alistair said dryly.

"So who was the meeting with?" Eamon finally asked after Alistair didn't seem to be forthcoming about his trip.

"Hum," said Alistair as he pretended to be busy at his desk. "Oh, an old friend."

"Any particular old friend?" Eamon's curiosity was beginning to surface as Alistair seemed just a little too casual.

"Not one you would be interested in," Alistair replied, somewhat untruthfully. "No more questions, Eamon."

Eamon raised an eyebrow in surprise at that, but he figured he would just worm what was going on out of Ser Hugh. "Well, the time away seems to have done you good. I haven't seen you this relaxed in a long time."

"You know, Eamon, you are exactly right. It was very good for me."

* * *

Once Alistair had gotten rid of Eamon and had his bath and some dinner, he sent a message to Wynne asking her to join him in his rooms. He was sitting slouched in a chair in front of his fireplace thinking about Lanie and Kellin when Wynne arrived.

"Wynne!" he said in greeting and jumped up and gave her a hug.

Wynne looked at him wondering what had happened. At least, he seemed happier than the last time she had seen him. She took a surreptitious look around the room, but she didn't even see any evidence that he was drinking this evening. That was decidedly unusual for Alistair. Ever since Moira had died, she could barely remember seeing him without a wine goblet within easy reach.

"Hello, Alistair," she replied. "My, you are looking chipper tonight."

He _smiled_ at her, an actual smile. Wynne beam back at him. It had been so long since she had seen such an open countenance on his face.

"I'm feeling pretty good tonight, Wynne and just wait until you hear why. You won't believe it."

"Well, tell me. If it is making you so happy, I definitely want to hear it."

"Here," said Alistair motioning her to the other chair in front of the fire. "I think you had better sit down."

"You knew I was going out of Denerim for a few days, right?" Alistair began once they were seated and he had her full attention.

Wynne nodded.

"Well, what I didn't tell you was that I was asked to a meeting at our old glade campsite."

"By whom?"

"That was the thing. I didn't know," said Alistair.

"And you went anyway?" asked Wynne horrified. "Alistair!"

"It wasn't that big a deal. I knew it had to be someone from our old party. Who else would have known to ask me to meet them at that spot? I was only there the times we camped there."

"I see," said Wynne thoughtfully. "So who was the meeting with?"

A huge smile crossed Alistair's face as he told her, "Lanie!"

Wynne's face fell. Had his grief in losing the baby and then Briana finally pushed Alistair over the brink of sanity? "Elandria?" she said hesitantly, wanting to be certain before she panicked.

"Yes, Wynne!" said Alistair excitedly. "She's alive! She's been living with the Dalish, with Lanaya's clan since shortly after that night at Fort Drakon."

"I see," said Wynne as she forced her expression to one of calm. _I wonder if Eamon knows that Alistair is losing it? _

"Not only that, but we have a son, Wynne. His name is Kellin. He is three and is the most wonderful boy in the world."

"Alistair," said Wynne gently. "You know this can't be true, don't you? As much as you would like for Elandria-"

"It is so true!" declared Alistair. "You could ask Lanaya, only she isn't in Denerim right now. I know, I will instruct Hugh to tell you the truth tomorrow. I swore he and the other two guards that went with me to secrecy. Look here." Alistair pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket that was tied up in a knot. He very gently opened the handkerchief and spread it out on the table between their two chairs. Inside the handkerchief was a small lock of hair. "See that, that's Kellin's hair. We cut off a section so I could keep it with me."

Wynne reached out and stroked the soft curl of dark blonde hair. It was very fine, like child's hair. She looked up at Alistair in confusion. Alistair picked the handkerchief back up, stroked the hair with a small smile, tied the handkerchief back in a knot, and put it back in his pocket.

"How did she survive the Archdemon, Alistair? Why would she have kept herself hidden all this time?"

Alistair proceeded to explain all about Morrigan, the baby, the Brecilian Forest, and Lanie and Morrigan's theories on the destruction of the Archdemon. Before he could go any further, he saw that Wynne was looking decidedly pale.

"The one thing Lanie and I couldn't figure out was where "her" second body came from. She was confused when I told her I carried her body down from Fort Drakon. Obviously, I didn't, but neither of us could come up with an explanation as to where it had come from."

"I can tell you that," said Wynne weakly. "I created a body for Elandria."

"What!" exclaimed Alistair. "You did what?"

"Well, when Zevran, Shale, and I were left on the top of Fort Drakon, we searched, but we couldn't find Elandria's body. I told the others we needed to have a body to provide closure for everyone. We thought perhaps her body had been destroyed somehow. I cast spells on a small darkspawn to make it look like Elandria and to stay that way."

Alistair said, "I guess I can't blame you. I highly doubt any of us would have made the leap that she was still alive just from there being no body."

Wynne reached out a hand to Alistair. He took it in his. "She's really alive?" she asked wanting desperately to believe this wasn't a fantasy Alistair had made up in his own m ind.

Alistair looked earnestly into her eyes. "Yes, she is really alive. You can talk to Hugh tomorrow when he is back on duty if you like. He spent the last three days with Lanie and Kellin just like I did, but believe me it's true. What's more, they are coming here for the Landsmeet this year. I'm going to need your help with that. And, you can't say anything to _anyone_. You are the only person in Denerim I'm telling for now because I know I can trust you. I don't want anyone to find out about Lanie and Kellin until the Landsmeet, not even Eamon. It's important, Wynne. Promise me?"

"Of course, Alistair. I just can't believe this, Elandria alive and with a child."

* * *

Torin had been out at a party that evening that some of the younger elves had thrown together. They had gone out into the woods and built a big bonfire. Once the homemade wine had come out, he had taken a few drinks, but his enjoyment of the event had dropped rapidly as many of those attending became drunk. He could see that he was already becoming an outsider. Most everyone knew that he, Elandria, and Kellin would be leaving, and with their absence on their recent trip, he could see the changes in relationships he had with his friends already. He felt older than most of them, as he had more responsibility in helping to take care of Kellin than most of them did in their daily lives around camp. A few of the male elves had started in harassing him again about being the guardian of a shemlen. Torin was learning how to take it in stride, but sometimes he just really wanted to hit someone. He thought the best thing was just to take his leave.

As he was walking back toward their aravels, he was thinking about their return trip from their time spent with the shemlen king. Torin knew that in many ways Elandria still saw him as that sixteen-year-old boy he had been when they first started practicing sword work together three years ago. He was pleased that she seemed to rely on him on their trip and even talked with him some about what would be happening in the future and about her feelings for the king. Torin had long had a secret crush on Elandria. In fact, when he had first sworn the Lenayath, he had visions of being Kellin's gallant defender and hoped that she would come to realize that she had stronger feelings for him. This trip had certainly proved to Torin the futility of that dream.

He had watched the two of them, both when they were together and when they weren't. It was obvious how attuned they were to the other's presence and that they still both had deep feelings for each other. You could just about feel the tension/attraction between them just by being near. The kinghad just better prove to be worthy of her. Torin couldn't believe that the man had let her go years ago and hurt her so badly. Torin certainly wouldn't have been that stupid if he had the chance of having her. Not that it was ever going to happen. No, Torin knew Elandria considered him more of a little brother than anything. He could still watch out for her though, and he would as long as he could.

Elandria had explained about how they were to go back to Denerim in a few weeks, and that most probably he and Kellin would be staying with Kellin's father. Torin wasn't sure how he felt about that. The shemlen king did seem most sincere in his feelings for Kellin and like he wanted to be the little boy's father. Elandria's plans were the ones that were up in the air. She didn't know if she would be staying with them or moving on. He knew it would hurt both her and Kellin to be parted, but he couldn't see any good way the two of them (Elandria and the king) could be together. Torin thought it would hurt her too much to be close to the king on a daily basis and not be able to be involved with the man, especially if Kellin's father ended up getting married again. Torin had wanted to go back and beat the man black and blue (if he could) when Elandria had told him the arrogant fool had asked her to be his mistress. Elandria was not the kind of woman you kept on the side just as a treat for yourself when it was convenient. If the king couldn't see that fact, then he didn't deserve her (not that Torin was convinced the man did anyway).

Torin had been taking his time as he made his way home. He was about halfway there when he felt the hair on the back of his neck rise. He pulled his mind from his musings and paid careful attention to the woods around him. He could hear rustling in the woods, and the insects had gone quiet. Wonderful. He had left his daggers back at the aravel. He did have a small knife, but it wouldn't do much good against any real threat. He hadn't expected to run into any trouble this evening. The rustling became louder, and he realized it was more than one creature. He strained his ears listening trying to determine exactly where they were.

All of a sudden, a figure broke out of the trees right in front of Torin. "Well, well, what do we have here?" came the snide voice of Denallin.

Torin groaned inwardly. He and Denallin had never gotten along. He was one of the worst offenders who liked harassing him about Kellin. "What do you want, Denallin?" Torin asked almost resignedly.

"Want? Me? From the almighty shemlen defender? Why, whatever could I want?" replied Denallin.

"In that case, I'll just be moving on," said Torin as he attempted to brush by the other elf.

"In a hurry to get back to Mamae Shem Lover and her perverted baby?"

Torin took in a deep breath and strode on.

"Now I understand," said Denallin. "Oh ho, is that how the wind blows?"

Torin told himself to ignore him and just keep going, but he found himself turning around to face Denallin. When he turned, he saw Keneal and Teneal, twin brothers, who had joined Denallin. He wasn't worried about them. Denallin was the ringleader and where the real trouble would come from.

"What are you wasting air on now, Denallin?"

"It's the mamae you're after, isn't it?"

"You should be a bit more respectful, Denallin. The Grey Warden did save the clan not that long ago."

"Is she as hot as she looks? Or does she only squeal for humans?"

With this dig at Elandria, Denallin had gone too far, and Torin had swallowed one insult too many. He saw red. He charged at Denallin and hit him square in the gut. When that took the wind out of Denallin, Torin spun toward the brothers. He caught Teneal with a cuff to the head, but Keneal landed a blow on his cheek. He felt the skin beneath his eye split. Torin danced away from the three, but Keneal followed as he was untouched as of yet.

"Maybe Denallin had it wrong, and you haven't had a piece of her yet, after all," Keneal said and leered at Torin. "Maybe you aren't man enough and one of us needs to go take care of her."

Torin ignored Keneal as he concentrated on the other elf's movements. He had his hands up in a defensive position waiting to see what Keneal was going to do. He was also trying to keep an eye on Denallin as he was rapidly regaining his breath. As the three tried to converge on him, he decided to concentrate his attack on Teneal who was the weak link. He increased his pace and faked a blow at him. At the last second, he pulled his punch and delivered a harsh kick to the elf's knee forcing it out of alignment. Teneal let out a yell and grabbed for his knee, falling to the ground.

Torin did a backward handspring, causing Denallin to miss hitting him with the swing he had just attempted, and landed in a crouch. He brought his hands up again to defend himself as Denallin and Keneal both rushed him. He jabbed at Denallin's face with his left fist, but then followed with a right cross that caught him squarely in the jaw. Denallin's mouth exploded with blood as his lip was driven into his teeth. Keneal hit Torin hard in the side of the head causing his ear to start ringing, but he kept in motion. Torin knew if he stopped moving, he was done for. At this point, he only had Keneal to worry about as Denallin seemed dazed.

"Come on, Keneal," challenged Torin. "Just you and me now."

"Aw, you aren't worth it," Keneal said as if in disgust.

Torin started backing away, keeping his eyes on the three elves. When he was about twenty feet away and none of them had made a move to come after him, he turned and rapidly headed for home staying alert just in case they followed.

Torin was hoping that Elandria would be in bed by the time he returned to the aravel, but no such luck. He had taken off his shirt to staunch the blood coming from under his eye. He didn't think it was that deep; it was just that head wounds always bled so much. When he came in the door of the aravel, Elandria had been sitting in the common area with a candle lit reading.

"Torin! What happened?" she asked as she immediately jumped up to look at him.

"Nothing to worry about," he replied.

She bustled over to where they kept some healing supplies. "Come over here and let me clean that up for you. What happened?"

"We were just playing around at the party," he said as he obediently sat down and let her start to tend him.

"This doesn't look like playing around," she said. She scanned the rest of his head after she finished cleaning out the wound beneath his eye and glanced down at his hands. His knuckles were skinned. "You took a blow to the side of your head as well. Want to tell me what this was really about?"

Torin jerked his head out of her grasp. "It's nothing. I said I took care of it."

Elandria dropped her hands and watched as Torin smeared some poultice on his cut. "Is this about Kellin again?"

Torin didn't say anything as he busied himself cleaning up the supplies. "It wasn't any big deal. I'm fine."

Elandria just looked at him. She was concerned that the harassment of Torin had moved beyond verbal to physical. "I think it's time to do something about this. I know you have been taking grief over Kellin. I see no reason why we can't tell people who he is. Alistair knows about him and is willing to claim him. Do you think that would help the situation?"

"I doubt it would stop Denallin, but maybe some of the others," said Torin. "But, you don't have to do that on my account. I can deal with Denallin."

Elandria reached out a hand and laid it on his arm. "Is something bothering you?" she asked. "Are you having regrets already about the Lenayath?"

Torin felt a little flush of shame. He didn't want to tell her what the others had said about her. That was what was upsetting him more than any comments about Kellin. "No," he said. "No regrets. I just wish the time would come when we could leave."

Elandria raised her eyebrows at that. "Are you that anxious to leave the clan?"

"I guess I'm just ready to go now the decision is made. Sitting around waiting has never been easy for me."

"Only a few more weeks. You'd better enjoy this time with your father while you can."

* * *

For Alistair the next few weeks seemed to drag by. He couldn't wait for Lanie and Kellin to join him in Denerim. When he could get away from Eamon, he was busy working on what he wanted to say to the Landsmeet. He even called Wynne in a time or two to help him. He had thought about telling Eamon what was up, but every time he considered it, he remembered Eamon's actions with Briana. This situation with Kellin and Lanie was too important to him for anyone to mess around with (even if they thought they were helping). Alistair _had_ to have the element of surprise on his hands with the nobles of the Landsmeet or his plan would never work.

His emotional state was almost back to normal. He still thought about Moira every night when he went to bed, but the release he had experienced with Elandria that day in the campsite had bled off the worst of the pain and grief. He hoped Briana was healing as well. He felt guilty about his relationship with her. He knew now he had never really gotten over Lanie. Briana had deserved better than she had received from him.

* * *

The next day, Elandria decided the person to pay a visit to was Master Varathorn. As much as she loved the man, he was a worse gossip than anybody else in the camp. She took her Dar-Misaan and Kellin along with her. When they strolled over to his work area, he was there by himself as he had sent his apprentice off on an errand.

"Aneth ara, Master Varathorn," she greeted him.

"Elandria!" he said in delight, "And Kellin! How are you both?"

"We are fine, Master Varathorn. Thank you for asking. I missed you while we were gone on our trip."

"How was it?"

"It was fine. I think we all had a good time."

"Where did you go?"

"We were on the outskirts of Denerim. Kellin, why don't you tell Master Varathorn who we were camping with."

"I went fishing with Father!" exclaimed Kellin excitedly.

"Your father?" said Master Varathorn and Elandria had to hold back a smile. She could see his curiosity kick in.

"Yes," said Kellin. 'Father let me hold his sword and took me for a ride on his horse."

"That must have been fun for you, Kellin." He turned his attention to Elandria. "All I've been hearing about from the youngsters in camp is that you brought a horse back with you." said Master Varathorn with raised eyebrows. "That must have been very expensive!"

"Well, it's not too expensive for the king," said Elandria casually.

"The king?"

"Oh, didn't I ever tell you who Kellin's father was? You actually know him. Remember the warrior, Alistair, that was here with me before the Blight ended? He eventually became king, and Kellin and Torin will be joining him in Denerim here in a few weeks, won't you, my love?" she said as she ruffled his hair.

"Yes, Mamae!" said Kellin. "Father said I had to promise to bring you. He would be very upset if you didn't come with me. He said we would have to come get you if you didn't." Kellin's face fell as he realized he said something he wasn't supposed to. "OH! Don't tell Father I told you, Mamae! That was our secret."

Kellin's words brought a little glow to her heart. "I won't tell him, little one."

Master Varathorn was quiet as he digested this nugget of information. "So Kellin is …"

"The Prince of Ferelden? Yes, he is."

"Well, well. I always knew he was a fine fellow, but an actual prince to boot. Should I bow, young man?" he asked seriously.

"That won't be necessary," said Elandria as she tried to keep the smile off her face. "Now, the reason I came to see you, I found this spot in my blade I want you to check…"

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Eamon's curiosity was to go unsatisfied. He had tried to worm who the mysterious meeting was with out of Hugh, but he had flatly refused to answer any questions at all about the trip. Every question Eamon asked him was answered that he would have to ask the king.

Eamon attempted a few conversations with Alistair over the same time period, but he was never able to ferret out any information. Alistair went silent when he brought up the subject and wouldn't answer even a direct question. The good thing was that Alistair seemed to have lost that brooding state he had been in since Moira's death and Briana's leaving. At times, he almost seemed happy. Eamon just wished he knew the reason and what had happened on that trip of his.

After the first two weeks, Eamon lost interest as more important matters were at hand. He and Alistair were working hard preparing for this year's Landsmeet, but Eamon didn't anticipate any problems in Alistair's re-confirmation as king.

* * *

True to Elandria's plan, the news of Kellin being the Prince of Ferelden was all over camp before the next few hours had passed. She hoped that would help to stop the baiting that Torin was taking from the younger elves and more importantly, any physical confrontations. After all, she had made a pledge to Torin that his service would not go unappreciated. He had taken enough abuse in silence; she intended for it to stop. Elandria had gone to check in with the hunters because Menarin was still pumping her for exercises he could use with his new teams. She had just about taught Menarin everything she knew, but she still liked to go by and check on them. It amazed her how cohesive some of the teams were becoming. Kellin always liked to watch the sword work as well. He was chattering on and on about the dagger Torin had promised him.

She and Kellin had also found Lanaya at home for once. She had spent some time catching up with her and filling her in on what had happened on her trip to Denerim. She would miss Lanaya when she left. She was one of her only true friends. They had bonded almost from their first meeting years ago.

Later that night, she laid in bed thinking about some of the things she and Lanaya had talked about. She had told Lanaya how she had so uncharacteristically not pressed Alistair for details of his plan. Normally, she had to know everything, be in charge, and make sure everything went just so. For some reason, she was content to let Alistair handle this.

Lanaya said it was tied up in her regaining her trust in Alistair. Since he was the one that had broken her heart those years ago, Elandria was really giving him the opportunity to make it up to her by fixing the situation so they could be together. If he did come up with a solution that allowed that, then Elandria would feel free to totally give herself to him once again. Elandria wasn't sure if she believed that or not, but she supposed Lanaya's theory had some validity. After all, she hadn't felt comfortable telling Alistair she still loved him on this latest trip even though he had told her more than once.

Whatever the reason, as each night slipped away and the time drew closer and closer for them to leave the clan for good, Elandria knew one thing. One way or the other, her questions about her relationship with Alistair would be laid to rest at the Landsmeet. Afterwards, either they would be together or they wouldn't. This would be their final chance for happiness together.


	31. The Landsmeet

Elandria, Kellin, Torin, and Gabe arrived at the glade campsite the day before they were supposed to be met. Alistair hadn't told her who he was sending to meet her; he just said that it would be a surprise. Thanks to the pack horse Alistair had given them, they had made even better time than she had expected so they actually arrived early in the day. They were able to get set up and each of them had a bath in the pond. Kellin had been getting more and more excited the nearer they came to the campsite. He couldn't wait to see his father again. Elandria wasn't sure what Alistair's plan was for introducing him to the nobles, but she assumed it would be during the Landsmeet at some point. As they had gotten closer to Denerim, she had started getting nervous about what would happen. Now, she was wishing she had pressed Alistair for more details.

Late in the day, a father and son on their way to Denerim from Lothering had stopped at the campsite. Elandria had talked with them a little, and they set up their own camp on the other side of the glade. They did have a nice joint meal as both parties shared their contributions to dinner. Elandria turned in early as Torin was taking first watch, followed by her, and then Gabe would take over from Elandria. She sure was glad mabaris were smart. For night watch, it helped that there were three of them instead of just her and Torin.

The next morning Elandria was able to sleep in some as Torin took Kellin off for a walk through the woods. He was trying to stuff as much woodcraft into Kellin's head as he could. Torin figured once they were locked up in the palace they wouldn't have the chance to get out into the country much. He wasn't sure how he was going to do with that. He had lived his entire life in comparative freedom without many people and the forest all around him. He understood in his head that there would be buildings and a lot of people, and not just people as in elves, but shemlen. He wasn't sure how it was going to affect him. However, it did, his life would be drastically different from what he had known until this point.

Once they had lunch, they started breaking down camp. Elandria wasn't sure what time they would be met, but she figured it would be sometime in the afternoon. They had everything ready, but they didn't load the pack horse yet. No use making the poor creature stand around with their possessions on his back until it was necessary.

Late afternoon, Elandria was trying to teach Kellin how to play cat's cradle with Torin watching and offering advice. Gabe had been laying by her side. Suddenly, he stood up, looked at her, turned towards the trail to the road, and started wagging his tail.

"I guess that means they are here, whoever they are," commented Elandria. She gave Kellin the leather strip they had been using to play with and turned around to greet the arrivals. First into the glade came Reilly.

"Hello, Reilly," she said. "I should have expected you."

"Hello, Warden," he answered her.

Conversation was broken off here as Elandria caught sight of the person following him. "Wynne!" she shrieked in delight and threw herself at the older mage, grabbing her in a huge hug.

"Elandria, let me breathe please!" Wynne demanded with a smile, as they both backed off to look at one another. "It is so good to see you, child. I still can't believe you are alive even with you standing right in front of me!"

"Wynne, I've missed you so much." Elandria said as Wynne drew her in against her for another calmer hug.

"As I've missed you. We have _all_ missed you," she said quietly.

Elandria drew back. "Let me introduce you. This is Torin Elrani. Torin, this is Wynne."

Torin gave her a little bow of respect. "I have heard much of you, Lady Mage. It is my honor to meet you at last."

"Hello, Torin. Alistair told me a little of you as well."

"Nothing good, I bet."

"Torin!" said Elandria with a shake of her head. "Kellin, come here, little one. Wynne, this is Kellin. Kellin, this is your Gran Wynne."

"Gran?" asked Wynne.

"I didn't think you would mind," said Elandria.

"You're right. I don't," Wynne smiled and squatted down. "Hello, Kellin."

"Hi, Gran!" said the little boy enthusiastically.

"Can I have a hug?" she asked.

Kellin looked to his mamae. She nodded to him, so he allowed Wynne to hug him.

"Well, I can certainly tell who your father is just by looking at you," she said.

"You know Father?" Kellin asked.

"Yes, Kellin. Wynne was one of the friends your father and I traveled with before you were born. Remember when we were talking about how once you are living with your father that there are only a few people you are to trust? Well, Wynne is someone you can trust."

"Yes, Mamae," he replied.

Once everyone was acquainted they proceeded to get everything loaded and headed back toward the road with Torin leading the pack horse. Alistair had sent a closed carriage for them, which was pulled by a team of two horses. There was room for Wynne, Elandria, and Kellin in the carriage. Torin could have ridden up top with the driver, but Reilly had led a spare horse for him on their way to meet them. Torin had never ridden a horse before, but he figured it couldn't be too different from riding a halla, which he had done lots of when he was younger. He was wrong. The motion was completely different. He gradually adjusted though as Reilly gave him some pointers on their way to Denerim.

They didn't even have to stop at the gates of the city as, due to the royal carriage, the party was waved straight through. Kellin was trying to hang out of the carriage in order to take in all the sights of the city. Torin was trying not to be overawed with the size of the buildings. The smell most certainly didn't impress him. It was a myriad of conflicting odors, but the overlying contribution to the scent was that there were just too many people living in too small an area. When Torin made a comment about it, Reilly seemed surprised. He had lived in Denerim so long he was accustomed to the stench. People pressed around them from all sides. With the royal crest on the carriage, the crowds were trying to peer in as much as Kellin was trying to look out. As the Landsmeet started tomorrow, all the streets were crowded. Torin, being a Dalish elf and mounted on a horse, drew quite a few strange looks, especially with his dual daggers on his back. The people of Denerim definitely weren't used to seeing an armed elf in their midst.

"We are staying at a small inn not far from the palace," Wynne informed Elandria. "It's called _The Mabari's Rest_. I've already checked in and been up to the rooms. We have two reserved, one for the boys and one for us. The plan is for you and Kellin to stay hidden until tomorrow. As such, we will stay at the inn to avoid any chance of recognition. Torin is going to draw some notice, so we are going to use that to our advantage. I have a hooded cloak you can wear as we don't want you recognized as the Hero of Ferelden. I will hold Kellin's hand and have him walk with me. No one will look twice at a grandmother and her grandson. Reilly will stay with us for now, and I believe Adair will be coming to relieve him later." Wynne reached under her seat and pulled out the cloak.

"You and Alistair have become quite cloak and dagger while I have been gone, and I mean that quite literally," said Elandria with a laugh. Elandria drew on the cloak as they pulled up into the inn's stable yard. While Elandria, Kellin, and Wynne were being helped out of the coach, Reilly quickly arranged with one of the stable boys to lead the riding horses back to the palace's stables while Torin made arrangements for the pack horse to stay in the inn's stable. Wynne moved decisively as she held Kellin's hand, leading the party into the inn and heading for the stairs. The innkeeper had started to come to greet them, but stopped at a gesture from Wynne. They marched up the steps and down the hall until they arrived at the adjoining rooms Wynne indicated. Reilly posted himself between the two doors while the other four and Gabe entered.

As Elandria, Torin, and Kellin made themselves comfortable, Wynne slipped down to the common room to make arrangements to have dinner delivered to them. Luckily it was early evening when they arrived so they didn't have to worry about trying to keep Kellin occupied for too long. By the time dinner arrived and they had eaten, it was time for him to go to bed. Torin took his leave and went to bed early as well figuring that Elandria would like to spend some time catching up with her friend.

Sometime later, Elandria was sprawled on their bed while Wynne was sitting on a small stool by the fire. Gabriel was lying on a rug on the floor. They were carrying on a conversation about the magic that the keepers of the clans of the Dalish used. They had gotten on the subject as Elandria was telling Wynne about the Lenayath and explaining about the binding between Torin and Kellin. Suddenly a knock sounded on the door. Wynne made a motioning sign to Elandria to keep quiet. She walked over and opened the door just a crack and then she pulled it open.

"Get in, quick! What are you doing here?" she asked as she reached out, pulled Alistair in the room, and shut the door behind him.

Alistair came into the room dressed in Zevran's leather armor, which he always wore when he snuck out of the palace. He didn't answer Wynne as when he saw Elandria, all he could think was that she was finally here and how glad he was to see her again. When Elandria saw it was Alistair at the door, she had jumped up off the bed. Alistair strode across the room, pulled her into his arms, and kissed her. She hesitated at first, but then responded and pressed herself against him, although rather futilely due to his armor. When his hands started wandering, he heard a loud throat clearing from Wynne behind him. He reluctantly broke off their kiss. He whispered in Lanie's ear, "Maker, how I've missed you."

"I missed you too," she admitted.

"Alistair, what are you doing here?" asked Wynne. "I thought the whole idea was to keep Kellin and Elandria from being observed by anyone."

"I know I shouldn't have come, but I couldn't stay away. I had to come see you, Lanie." Alistair said. "How's Kellin?" he asked as they sat down sit by sit on the bed. He intertwined the fingers of his one hand with hers. Wynne sat back down on her stool.

"He's fine. He and Torin are asleep next door. He is all excited about seeing you," said Elandria. "Kellin must have worked the word father into the conversation fifty times in the carriage ride between here and the campsite."

"I can't wait to see him either, but I'll let him sleep tonight."

"So, what's the plan?" Elandria asked him.

"Early tomorrow morning, you, Kellin, Wynne, and Torin will be brought to the palace to a small room off the main Landsmeet chamber. You'll have to stay there until the session starts. That is important, Lanie. You can't let Kellin out of there until the proper time. There will be guards posted so no one else will have access. The session will start out with general milling around at first as Eamon and I will be individually greeting people, and then Eamon will call the Landsmeet into session. I will give a speech, as I normally do. Once the formal session starts, the guards will alert you so you can be waiting outside the chamber doors. When I call for you and Kellin, you will enter the chamber and come up on the dais with me. From there, we'll just have to play it by ear."

"I thought you were just acknowledging Kellin. Why do I have to be there?" Elandria said.

"Oh no, by tomorrow everyone in Denerim will know you survived that last battle. It's kind of hard for me to claim Kellin without mentioning his mother, and I'm done hiding things. We hid our relationship all through the Blight except to our closest friends. I'm sorry we did that now. Maybe if I had been honest about how I felt about you from the beginning, things would have been different."

"You can't second guess the past, Alistair, although I must admit I have occasionally wondered what would have happened if I had seen you those years ago when I came to Denerim to tell you about the pregnancy instead of leaving when I found out you were married."

"Believe me, I've thought about that myself," admitted Alistair.

"Do you understand what is going to happen once it's common knowledge you are alive, Elandria?" Wynne asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You are the Hero of Ferelden. People revere your memory. You won't be able to walk down the street without drawing a crowd. There will be feasts and public appearances. You are probably more loved than the king is," Wynne answered her.

Elandria's face fell. "But it's been four years, surely people have other things on their minds. I don't want any of that. I'm no hero. Alistair, I could kill you for giving me that title."

"I only made it official. It was already circulating," he replied. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Try not to worry about it, Lanie."

"Gee thanks," she said sarcastically.

He put his other hand under her chin and tipped her face up so he could look into her eyes. "No brooding about it, promise me?"

Elandria felt like she was drowning looking into his eyes. He wasn't kidding when he said he wasn't hiding anything anymore. She could see his care and concern in the look he gave her. "Okay," she said huskily.

Alistair started rubbing his fingers along the soft skin of her jaw line. He saw how her breath quickened and her pupils dilated until he was looking into their huge dark pools. He watched her moisten her lips with the tip of her tongue, and he started to lean in to capture her mouth with his.

Wynne broke in and said, "I think Gabe and I should go down and check on having an early breakfast delivered, and then we will go for a nice long walk. What do you think about that, Gabe?"

Gabe jumped up agreeably.

Alistair stopped moving towards Lanie and let his hand dropped from her face. "Take one of the guards with you," he said.

"Alistair, he's a mabari and I'm a mage. What do you think is going to happen?"

"Take one of the guards with you," Alistair ordered firmly as he finally tore his gaze away from Lanie's. "The streets aren't as safe at night as I would like."

"Fine," snapped Wynne as she and Gabe left the room.

As the door closed behind her, Alistair returned his full attention to Lanie. Elandria quickly rose from the bed, attempting to put some distance between them. "This is a bad idea, Alistair," she warned.

Alistair started unhooking the straps that secured his breastplate. Elandria watched him with her arms crossed as conflicting desires ran through her body. She wanted nothing else than to be with him once again, but certainly not with the guards outside the door, Torin and Kellin in the next room, and Wynne due back at any point. She also didn't think it would be smart to get any more involved with him if she was going to have to leave Denerim, although she was fooling herself if she thought she wasn't already captured by her feelings for Alistair. It would about kill her to have to leave all three of the people she loved most in the world, but she would do it if necessary. She knew the unrelenting heartbreak that would lay ahead as she had experienced it four years ago when she and Alistair had been parted. She couldn't imagine how much worse it would be this time having to leave both Kellin and Torin behind as well.

He caught the look on her face as he finished removing the breastplate and placed it on the floor. He said, "Relax, it's just the breastplate. I'm not leaving here without at least being able to feel you against me. Come here." He held his hand out to her. He watched her bite her lip in indecision, but as he waited, she finally glided toward him. He had always loved the graceful way she carried herself. There was never any awkwardness in her moves. Just watching Lanie walk was enough to arouse him. He wrapped his arms around her, and he felt the warmth from her small body penetrate his. The softness of her curves molded to the angular planes of his muscles from his chest all the way down to his groin. He bent his head and rested his cheek in her hair, content to just hold her and breathe in her scent. Eventually, he moved over to the bed and sat her down on the edge. He sat down beside her and started taking off his greaves.

Elandria watched him remove the first one and then start in on the second one. "I thought it was just the breastplate?" she asked.

"Well, it was just going to be that, but then I couldn't do this," he replied as he laid the second one to the side. He moved off the bed and knelt down on the floor between her knees. With the differences in their height and the fact that the bed was a tad higher than normal, it put him at the perfect position to rest his head against her stomach. He wrapped his arms around her hips. She ran one hand through his hair and put her other hand inside the soft shirt he wore under his armor so she could rub his shoulders and upper back. Alistair was happy to lie there and just enjoy the feel of Lanie's touch against his skin once again. Finally, he took one of his hands and pushed her shirt out of the way. He blew his breath across the sensitive skin of her belly and watched as it prickled in response.

"Alistair!" she said in mild protest, though the feeling was delicious.

Alistair ignored her as he pressed his lips to the softness of her flat abdomen. He felt the jolt that ran through her each time he did so as Elandria felt the kindling of the fire that had always flared between them at even the most casual of touches. He moved his hands back to her hips and picked her up placing her further back on the bed. He pushed gently against her shoulders to encourage her to lie down on the mattress. He returned to place soft kisses against her abdomen once more and started to kiss his way up her torso. As he did so, he covered her body with his. As Alistair continued his tender ministrations, he pushed her shirt higher so he could reach even more of her delectable skin. Alistair smiled to himself when he realized she wasn't wearing a breast binder, and he heard her groan his name as he began to lightly tease the hardened tip of one nipple.

He snapped his head around, pulling Lanie's shirt down at the same time as he heard a door open to the side of him. Kellin stood in the adjoining door between the two rooms, his eyes as round as saucers. "Father?" Kellin said tentatively as Alistair felt Elandria start to push against him. Before he could move, Torin appeared in the doorway behind Kellin.

When Torin saw the king lying on top of Elandria and the flush to his features, he knew what Kellin had interrupted. He smirked at Alistair (since Elandria couldn't see him from her position) and reached down to Kellin, "Come back to bed, little one."

"No," said Alistair sharper than he intended as he moved to sit up. The smirk and the comment to Kellin with Lanie's nickname just rankled him. "It's okay. Let him come in. Come here, _son_." _Two can play at that game, boy. _

Elandria sat up as Alistair moved off of her. "It's okay, Kellin," she said as she held out a hand to him. Kellin ran to his mamae and Alistair lifted him up on the bed.

Alistair said to Torin, "You may go. I'll bring him back to bed when we're ready."

"Alistair!" Elandria cried, horrified he would take that tone with Torin. "Torin isn't a servant. He's part of our family. You don't just dismiss him."

Torin leaned against the wall by the door enjoying Alistair's discomfiture at Elandria's remarks. He let a small smile play around the corners of his mouth that he was sure the king saw. Alistair gritted his teeth, but didn't say anything.

"Did you want me to stay?" Torin asked Elandria.

"No, it's okay. Thanks, Torin," she said.

Torin pushed away from the wall and headed back into the other room. "Just call if you need me."

During this exchange Kellin had climbed into his father's lap. All thoughts of Torin flew out of Alistair's mind as he enjoyed cuddling the little boy to him. When Elandria laid back down, Alistair sat Kellin down against her and stood up to remove his few remaining pieces of armor. He climbed over both of them so he ended up lying on his side with Elandria spooned against him and his head propped up by his elbow. Kellin was on the other side of Elandria and facing him. Kellin was telling him all about his trip and his ride in the carriage.

When Wynne knocked on the door sometime later and they called for her and Gabe to enter, she smiled at the cozy scene that greeted her. Kellin had fallen asleep nestled against his mother, while Alistair protectively cradled both of them. Alistair reluctantly climbed over Elandria and picked Kellin up to take him back to his own bed. Once Alistair had tucked him in and returned to the other room, he knew he had to leave. He just didn't want to. He wanted to climb back into that bed with Lanie. He felt himself harden just at the thought of it and what would follow. _Just be patient a little bit more_, he counseled himself. As he was putting his armor back on, he said, "Lanie, I almost forgot. I have something for you."

Elandria looked at him curiously. Once he had finished with his armor, he poked his head out the door and said a few words to Hugh. Hugh handed him a sword in a sheath. He closed the door once again.

"I saw the way you looked at Starfang last month, and I thought it was about time I returned this to its proper owner," Alistair said and handed her the sword.

Elandria reached out a trembling hand, "It's Spellweaver," she said softly. "I thought it was lost forever." She pulled the sword from the sheath Alistair had made for it. For the first time in four years, the runes on the sword burst into life as Spellweaver felt the hand of an arcane warrior on its hilt. "Alistair, I didn't know you had Spellweaver. I missed this sword so much. You couldn't have given me anything I would have liked better." She carefully sheathed the sword once more and them moved to hug Alistair. She drew his head down and whispered, "Thank you," in his ear.

"Well, I hope you missed me more than the sword," he replied.

"I'll never tell," she joked with a smile.

After Alistair left, she and Wynne proceeded to get ready for bed. Once she was lying down though, Elandria couldn't sleep. Her mind was too busy with thoughts of tomorrow. By this time the next day, she would know whether she was staying in Denerim with Alistair, Kellin, and Torin, or if she and Gabe would be leaving to make their own solitary path through the world.

* * *

The next morning began early for the group at the inn. The breakfast was delivered at exactly the time Wynne had requested. Once they had eaten, Elandria began the difficult job of corralling Kellin and dressing him. Wynne had taken charge of procuring him an appropriate outfit during the past month. She'd had to guess at his sizes from Alistair's description. The tunic was a little large, but the pants fit well with a belt. They were of the finest materials as suited a little prince. Elandria finally made Kellin sit still long enough that she could comb out and put two small braids in his shoulder-length hair. Elandria was wearing an outfit she and Vanora (mostly Vanora) had put together for her. It was made of the softest doeskin leather with an intricate leafed vine pattern that Vanora had painstakingly dyed into the tunic. She topped the leather pants off with high boots she had specially crafted for her by the "cobbler" of the clan. She normally kept her waist-length ash blonde hair tightly braided. For today's event, she had only braided the front portion of her hair, tied it off, and let the length flow down her back. Torin wore his serviceable leather armor that his father had gifted to him shortly before they had left.

Wynne insisted Elandria once again don the hooded cloak. Elandria had dug through their possessions and pulled out her own. She felt more comfortable in that then the one Wynne had provided. Once they were ready, Adair led them on the short walk to the palace. He took them in through a private entrance and took them to the room that Alistair had told them about the night before. Since they were so early, they only passed servants as they rushed through the halls preparing for the opening session of the Landsmeet. Torin drew the most interest of any of them. Many of the elves seemed to be openly wary of his tattooed face and the confidence he carried himself with. It was a marked contrast to the deference that had been beaten into many of the alienage elves. Since they were accompanied by Adair, no one questioned them. Once they arrived, Reilly and two other guards Elandria didn't know were barring entrance to their waiting area. Elandria greeted him before they moved into the room. Gabe had accompanied them this far. Elandria had also brought Spellweaver, but she put the sword down when they entered the small space. Gabe would stay here when they went into the actual Landsmeet chamber, and he could guard the sword.

This was just a small waiting room with a sofa, a table, and a few chairs. It was fairly opulent with thick rugs and tapestries on the walls. On the table, there was a pitcher of water and some goblets along with a tray of appetizer-type fare. Elandria had managed to choke down some breakfast, but as the time dragged by, her stomach became more unsettled. Kellin was soon bored, but Wynne had come prepared. She pulled a children's book out of her bag and sat down on the couch with him to read it. Kellin was delighted with the carefully rendered pictures that accompanied the story. After what seemed like forever to Elandria, yet at the same time too soon, Reilly was knocking at the door.

"It's time, Warden."

* * *

It had been late when Alistair had finally arrived back at the palace. He had laid awake a good portion of the night going over and over what he was going to say at the Landsmeet. Wynne had helped him with parts of his speech, but even she didn't know exactly what he was planning for tomorrow. When Adwen came into his room to rouse him, he was already awake. He rose from the bed and allowed Adwen to dress him. Usually, he wore one of his sets of armor when milling through the crowded meeting chamber, but he was determined that this Landsmeet would be different from the others. He had to order Adwen to dress him as he wished. Today wouldn't be about impressing the nobles or begging for their support as king. They would either give it or they wouldn't. Today, he would be just Alistair. He wasn't planning to wear either his crown or coronet.

He was dressed in luxurious Orlesian silk. He must admit he loved the feel of it against his skin. It was so soft and light and extremely comfortable. Not good for defense of course, but today was all about taking chances. He was nervous as usual about talking in front of the nobles. That always seemed to happen, but as soon as he started speaking, the nervousness disappeared. There was also a streak of wild excitement and pride that flowed through him. Today, everyone would know about his son, and he would have Kellin with him and in his life. Elandria, his Lanie, would be making her proverbial return from the dead as well, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. He only hoped the nobility of Ferelden, including Eamon, would weather the shocks he was about to hand out today.

Once he was dressed, he summoned Hugh to his room. When Hugh came through the door and saw how he was dressed, he stopped dead, "Sire, I have to protest. You know it is standard procedure for you to be in armor. My men cannot adequately protect you as you mingle through the chamber."

"I know the procedure, Hugh. I'm breaking it," Alistair replied.

Hugh looked at his king and knew he had no hope of changing his mind just from the king's demeanor. Hugh was proud to serve him. He had watched him develop over the past four years from an uncertain, self-effacing man into a confident king who ruled his country firmly and well. Hugh would willingly give his life for his lord, but he couldn't protect him like this. It would be so easy for one of the disgruntled nobles to thrust a dagger into the king's unprotected back as he wandered the chamber this morning interacting with the assembled crowd. Hugh's stomach was already churning with the thought. "Please, Sire," he said as he allowed some of what he was feeling to show in his face. "Please don't do this," he pleaded.

Alistair's heart swelled at the respect and concern Hugh showed. He only hoped he was worthy of Hugh's service. He reached out and put a hand on Hugh's shoulder. "It will be fine, Hugh. Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

Hugh nodded his head miserably. "Whatever you say, your Majesty."

Alistair patted Hugh's shoulder again, dropped his hand, and turned away. "Now, I want to go over your part one more time."

* * *

When Alistair was entering the part of the palace that comprised the Landsmeet chamber and its surrounding rooms, he couldn't help looking at the hallway where a few of his guards were refusing entrance to anyone. Adair was standing there and gave him a confirming nod. Alistair felt another rush of excitement as he knew Lanie and Kellin were right down that hallway. He reined himself in and forcibly turned his mind to the business at hand. Alistair entered the main chamber itself where there was an immediate press as the nobles started flocking around him. He caught a glimpse of Eamon further in the room, already working the crowd as he politicked for Alistair's continued rule.

In about twenty minutes, he had made it halfway to the dais at the front of the chamber as he had to keep stopping to talk to people. Eamon mounted the steps past more of Alistair's guards, who were keeping the crowd off of the platform. Eamon's eyes met his, and he gave Eamon a nod.

"Attention! May I have your attention please," Eamon shouted and the buzz in the room slowly settled down. "Good morning, my noble lords and ladies. I call this year's Landsmeet to order," said Eamon.

Alistair could hear the rustle of clothing as the assembled nobility jostled for position. He excused himself from the bann he had been speaking with and started for the dais. The people in front of him gave way as he made his way through the crowd. As he was mounting the steps, he felt his stomach give one last flutter. _Here we go! _he thought to himself. Eamon had continued to speak while Alistair was moving forward.

"… and now I give you our king, his Majesty, Alistair Theirin," finished Eamon. There was a spurt of applause as Alistair took his position at the front of the dais. Eamon descended the steps and worked his way into the first row of spectators. He had always told Alistair he liked being a part of the crowd. It helped him to feel the mood of the room and gauge how the nobility of Ferelden were going to react.

Alistair stood on the raised platform well in front of the throne behind him. As tradition demanded, he would not sit in it again until confirmed by the Landsmeet. "Good morning! Let me begin by welcoming everyone and thanking you all for attending this year's Landsmeet. Usually, I start with a speech of exactly why I should be re-confirmed as king. Well, this year, it's going to be a little different. Today, I'm going to tell you a story. It's a story that some of you may know parts of, but soon, everyone will know all of it. It's the story of a bastard prince and a beautiful elven mage, and it's a true story."

_What is he doing? _Eamon thought as this definitely was not the speech he and Alistair had discussed earlier.

There were murmurs heard through the Landsmeet chamber, but quiet ensued as Alistair continued, "Our story starts twenty-six years ago in Redcliffe Castle when an arl agrees to take in a king's bastard. The younger years of the bastard prince are ones that he remembers with a certain fondness, of running unchecked through the castle and of time spent with his foster father. Time passes and changes come to Redcliffe. The arl marries, and the bastard prince learns to work instead of play as he becomes a stable boy. Two main things does our young bastard prince learn from the arl during his time at Redcliffe; one is his birthright and exactly who his father is, and the other is the mantra that is to direct his life. He _must always_ do his duty. At the age of ten, it is decided that the young bastard prince should be sent to the Chantry and study to become a templar. He seems to have some aptitude with a sword, and templar vows will also conveniently keep him from staking a claim to his legitimate brother's throne. How does one explain these political motives to a child? You don't, so all our young bastard prince knows is he is being punished by being taken from his home and sent away. He struggles against this fate, but in the end, he does his duty and he goes. He even applies himself to his lessons and becomes an initiate heading towards making his final vows as a templar.

"However, circumstances or fate intervene in the young bastard prince's life. He attends a tournament in Denerim and is recruited into the Grey Wardens at the age of twenty-one, just before he would have made his final vows to the Chantry. He spends the next six months traveling with his commander and learning some of the lore of the Grey Wardens, and then comes the darkspawn horde and realization that a Blight is coming. Just before the battle at Ostagar, the bastard prince meets the beautiful elven mage as she prepares to also become a Grey Warden. From his very first meeting with her, the beautiful elven mage took the bastard prince's breath away, but what does a Chantry-raised boy know of women or love? The Wardens numbers in Ferelden are increased by one, the battle commences; and the tragic ending of Ostagar comes.

"After the defeat at Ostagar, the bastard prince and the beautiful elven mage were left as the only Grey Wardens in Ferelden. Clearly, their duty was to stop the Blight, and so their story begins. As the beautiful elven mage accomplished one impossible thing after another with the help of her companions; a mage tower cleared of demons and abominations, the Urn of Sacred Ashes discovered to heal a dying man, an elven curse lifted, and a dwarven king crowned; the bastard prince grew to love her more and more. Along the way another impossible thing happened, it turned out she loved him too. They did the impossible things together, and it was absolutely the happiest time in the bastard prince's life as he fought to save Thedas from the darkspawn alongside the woman he loved.

"It seemed that there wasn't anything the pair couldn't overcome together, but they were wrong. There was one thing, and it was duty. With King Cailan dead and a traitor as regent, the bastard prince was forced into stepping forward to take the throne. He had never wanted anything less in his life. At the Landsmeet after the traitor Loghain lay dead at their feet, the beautiful elven mage did her unwelcome duty and named the bastard prince to be king. With a heavy heart, knowing what lay ahead, the bastard prince agreed. The soon-to-be king and bastard prince no longer knew what he had to do, and he did it that same day. The soon-to-be king broke two hearts as he told the woman he loved that she wasn't good enough anymore, that she could never be good enough because she was elven and a mage. He needed a noble human woman to marry and bear his heir, and they could no longer be together."

Alistair paused as he tried to rein in the tumult of emotions that came with these memories. The chamber, however, was silent. It seemed everyone held their breath to hear what came next. Even those that had been in Denerim for the Landsmeet and knew what followed waited. This was a story they would only have the chance to hear for themselves once in their lives, the Maker-given truth of someone who had actually _been there and lived it_.

Alistair resumed his story. "However, the beautiful elven mage was good enough to fight the darkspawn with, so the pair's quest continued. They journeyed to Redcliffe and joined up with all the allies they had recruited; the mages, the elves, the dwarves, along with human forces as well. However, the deployment of darkspawn to the south had been a diversion, and the true horde was in the northeast facing Denerim. The Grey Wardens and their armies raced back to Denerim to find the darkspawn already in the city. It was decided that only a small party was to be sent in to confront the Archdemon and its allies. It was his duty to stay behind he had been told when the soon-to-be king had demanded to be included. The beautiful elven mage refused to risk him in a fight with the Archdemon. His life was more valuable than her own and must be preserved. It was one of the hardest things the soon-to-be king had ever done, but he stayed at the gates and watched the beautiful elven mage and her three companions enter the city filled with darkspawn and the waiting Archdemon. He watched her walk away knowing what she faced and the slim chance that she would live to walk back out of the city. It was one of the first times since Ostagar she would be going into battle without him, and he was reduced to doing the only thing he could to help her, which was to deny entrance through the gates to any more darkspawn.

"You have heard the song of the Battle of Denerim and know the ending. The Blight was stopped. The Archdemon lay dead, but so did the beautiful elven mage. The events of the next few years passed. The soon-to-be king became king in fact. He married as duty required to a wonderful woman who was more than he deserved and whose only fault was she wasn't the beautiful elven mage. The king and queen had a daughter, who-" again Alistair paused as sorrow for Moira coursed through him once again. The assembled nobility were quiet as well as they too had felt the loss of the little princess. "The king and queen had a daughter, who they lost, and shortly after that, the queen was gone as well."

_Alistair! _thought Eamon in desperation. _What in the world are you doing? _

Alistair continued, "But the story doesn't end there. I made a discovery about a month ago. A discovery that shocked me, and I'm certain will surprise every person in this room. For Elandria _DID NOT_ die that night on the rooftop of Fort Drakon." The room exploded as exclamations filled the air and questions were shouted at him.

Alistair held up his hand for silence. "She was rescued by one of our companions and taken to the Brecilian Forest to recover. It took her months, and when she was finally recovered from the wounds she had taken in her fight with the Archdemon, Elandria found the world had gone on without her. She joined the Dalish clan she had helped save and has been living with them in peace for the past four years." Alistair paused again and let the crowd express more of their disbelief.

"But, there is more," he called out over the raised voices, and the room slowly settled down once again. "Unknown to either of us at the time when I had broken off our relationship, Elandria was pregnant. She carried the child through her fight with the Archdemon and bore a son three years ago." Alistair paused there. He looked down at Eamon in the front row. He saw him standing there with his mouth hanging open in disbelief. Alistair mouthed the word "Sorry," to Eamon, but he wasn't sure if Eamon even noticed. The gathered nobles were all talking at once, and the chamber was filled with the cacophony.

"Is she really alive?"

"He has to be making this up."

"Is there really a son?"

"An elf _and_ a mage? You have to be kidding me."

Alistair waited for the comments and questions to quiet down. When he again had everyone's attention, he began once more. "Yes," he said. "She's really alive and she's here today. My lords and ladies, I give you the Hero of Ferelden, Elandria Surana and our son, Kellin Theirin."

The doors in the back of the hall cracked open. There was loud rustling as everyone in the room turned to face them. The doors swung wide and some of Alistair's guard detachment poured through. Then, a petite woman with a small child held by the hand stepped into the chamber. They were followed by a Dalish elf, feral in appearance, with his twisting tattoos and twin daggers on his back. The woman walked through the room as the crowd was pushed back by the guards. Those in the galleries above craned their necks to look down.

"It's her! It's really her!"

"Who is the wild elf?"

"Aw, he's so cute!"

"The Hero of Ferelden!"

"He does look like the king!"

Elandria's attention reverted to Kellin as he seemed a little taken back at the number of people in the room who all seemed to be looking at him. "Come, Kellin," she said softly. "It's time to go to your father. See him up front there?" she asked.

"Yes, Mamae," said Kellin, perking up and moving quickly off down the aisle the guards had cleared so they could pass.

Torin concentrated on keeping his face impassive. He was starting to feel closed in. He had never been around this many people in his life, not even during the gathering of the clans. He felt uncomfortable inside these buildings of the shemlens. They were too big, and his senses felt dead. He was used to feeling the life force of the forest surrounding him.

All around them people were exclaiming and jostling as they tried to get a better view and see if it was really the Hero of Ferelden and the king's son. As Elandria made the long walk to the front of the chamber, she remembered the last time she had walked this path and how much had changed in those four years. After what felt like forever to Elandria, they finally made it to the front of the room. As they arrived at the foot of the stairs, Kellin dropped her hand and ran ahead with his little boy's voice piping out the call of, "Father, Father!"

Those assembled watched the happiness apparent on their king's face when he reached down to pick up his son and settle him on his hip. He spoke a few words to the boy, and then identical grins broke out on both their faces. Those that were close enough to the dais to have a good view were able to mark the similarities between the boy and their king. Elandria climbed the steps with Torin behind her as Alistair smiled down at her and held out his other hand. Elandria smiled back at him as she took his hand with hers.

When Eamon saw this, he groaned to himself, _Maker help us, my boy. Don't show everything you feel on your face. The nobles will eat you alive. I sure hope you know what you are doing because I can't save you now. _

Torin moved to stand behind the three. With a few more words to Kellin, Alistair dropped Elandria's hand, turned, and handed Kellin to Torin, who put the boy down, but held him tightly against him. Alistair leaned over to whisper to Elandria, "I should have asked you this before, but if the only way we could be together was to leave Ferelden, would you go with me?"

Elandria looked up at him in puzzlement, but answered him just as quietly, "I'd go anywhere to be with you. I'd follow you to the Black City itself."

"Whew, good answer," Alistair said in relief. He turned back to the front of the dais. He nodded to Hugh. Hugh gave a series of orders, and the guards who had created the passageway for Elandria and Kellin blocked all access to the dais. Alistair moved to the front of the raised platform once again.

Once it was quiet, Alistair started speaking, "As I told you, the main thing I was taught by my foster father was to always do my duty. I did my duty as a prince. I did my duty as a Grey Warden. I've tried my best to do my duty as your king. Well, now it is time for me to my duty as a man and a father." Alistair turned to face Elandria. He reached out and took her hand once again, which she obligingly gave him.

When he dropped to one knee, a look of shock crossed her face. "Alistair, what are you doing?" she hissed at him, tugging on his hand. "Get up!"

The room exploded around them. Alistair's guards, who all liked and respected him, followed their orders and kept anyone from mounting the steps to the platform. There were shouts of, "He can't do that," "What's he doing?" and "Stop him," but neither of the pair on the dais seemed to notice. The world had narrowed down to just the two of them.

He smiled at her, the sweetest smile she had ever seen grace his face. "Elandria, I love you. I have since Ostagar, even when we were apart. Now, I think it's time to make it official. Marry me. I can't ask you to marry the King of Ferelden or to be queen, but I can ask Lanie to marry plain Alistair. Stay with me always and let's raise our son together."

Elandria brought her other hand up to gently touch the side of his face as her eyes filled with tears. "Are you sure, Alistair?"

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life. I was an idiot four years ago and let you go. I've regretted it every day since. I'm not going to let you get away again. Say yes, Lanie. Say you won't leave me."

"But what about all this?" she asked with a wave of her hand towards the crowd.

"It doesn't matter. If I don't have you and Kellin, there will be no more Theirins after me. The line of kings descended from King Calenhad will break regardless. Why across the span of history does it matter if it is today or twenty-five years from now? Those twenty-five years matter to me though, and I know how I want to spend them and who I want to spend them with," he answered her.

She smiled at him through her tears. "When I came to Denerim after the Blight ended to tell you I was pregnant and I found out you were married, I never expected to see you again. I thought you would have children with your wife, and I would always have one small part of you that was mine alone, our child. As Kellin grew, I came to realize that was wrong; Kellin deserved to know his father and you to know him. I knew once you found out about Kellin that you wouldn't turn your back on him, but what I didn't expect is that you would still love me after all this time. I can't believe you are asking me to marry you. I never imagined such a thing ever happening. I know I should be thinking about what is best for Ferelden and refuse, but all I can think about is a little boy who has your smile and how happy he would be to have his parents together. So, yes. Yes, Alistair-"

She didn't get any further as Alistair surged to his feet and grabbed her. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her as the tumult in the room grew even worse. "I love you, Lanie," he whispered as he moved his mouth to her ear. "I always have and I always will."

Elandria stood in the safest place she had ever known, with Alistair's arms wrapped around her and pressing her against him. "I love you too. I've never stopped loving you," she admitted to him.

Torin leaned down and whispered to Kellin. Kellin's face broke out in a grin as he launched himself at the pair. "Father, Mamae!" he called as he barreled in-between them. Alistair reached down and picked him up.

"Did you hear, Kellin? Your mamae has agreed to marry me," Alistair said. "We're going to be a family just like I promised you."

"Yay!" said Kellin as he reached out to Elandria.

Torin felt a strange tug inside himself as he watched the three of them together. For the first time in a long time, he felt like an outsider around Kellin and Elandria. He couldn't help wondering if he would ever have a family like they had or if he had given up all chance of that by swearing his vow to Kellin. How could he be in love and protect his charge at the same time? He would always have to put Kellin first. How could he expect a woman who was worth loving to stand for that?

As Alistair hugged both Kellin and Lanie he could almost feel his heart expand. This was what he had been searching for his entire life, his family. With them in his arms, Alistair knew he was home, no matter where they were or what they were doing. After a few minutes, Alistair dropped a kiss on top of Lanie's head and disentangled himself from her. He turned his attention back to the rest of the Landsmeet chamber as he strode up the very edge of the dais still carrying Kellin. Once again, his bearing became very much that of the king, "Silence!" he roared, and the crowd responded. Slowly, the discordant voices hushed and quiet ruled the chamber once again.

"Now," Alistair continued, "We come to the matter at hand, the Landsmeet. The nobles of Ferelden meet once a year to re-confirm their choice as king. Before you do this, there is one final thing you need to know. The illness we lost the princess to came from me. There is an extremely high likelihood that any offspring I father will not survive, just as she didn't. Because of that, I have decided I will have _no more_ children. Kellin will be the only child I will ever have."

There were more exclamations as the crowd heard this last pronouncement. Eamon just shook his head as he realized that Alistair had just gambled everything he had on one turn of the card.

"Many of you will not like that fact that Elandria is a mage and an elf. Just remember exactly who she is. She is a Grey Warden, the Hero of Ferelden, and the person you trusted and respected enough at the Landsmeet four years ago to make the decision on who would lead Ferelden, even before she ended the Blight. She's the person who brought everyone together so that we _all_ stood a chance against the darkspawn. If each of us had to prove our worth in this world, I don't know if any of us could stand up to her measure. I have been your king for four years. I'm willing to stay your king with two conditions. I _will_ marry Elandria, and our son will be recognized as my heir. You have all heard my story and how I was raised. I will _not_ abandon my only son or allow others to raise him for me. He deserves more than that. He shouldn't have to be without either his mother or his father. If the Landsmeet feels it can not accept those conditions, then I will abdicate the throne, take my soon-to-be wife and child, and we will leave Ferelden forever. The decision is in your hands. Thank you for your time and attention. Maker keep you all."

With that, Alistair turned back and took Elandria's hand. He headed down the stairs and towards the doors at the back of the chamber. He could have left through the exit at the back of the dais, but he thought it would be better to allow more people a close-up view of him and Kellin together. He also didn't want anyone to think he was ashamed of being with Lanie. She would be his wife, and everyone had just better get used to seeing them together. His guards formed a loose circle around them. Members of the crowd threw questions at Alistair as he passed. Some of the nobles he stopped and answered, others he just smiled and nodded at.

Elandria was almost dazed after what had just happened. She couldn't believe Alistair had asked her to marry him and that he would be willing to give up his throne for her and Kellin. She ignored the shouted questions to her about what had happened that night at Fort Drakon and what she had been doing since then. The only thing she could think about was Alistair and the fact that whatever happened now they would be together.

Torin was scanning the crowd and keeping a watchful eye on Kellin, who seemed perfectly happy to be with his father. Kellin was chatting away, and Torin could see that the king was at least trying to listen to him while paying some attention to the nobles as well. Torin was most happy that the king's bodyguards were between him and the press of the crowd. The sheer number of people surrounding them was making him jittery.

"Your Majesty!" came a cry as the group had almost reached the doors.

Alistair stopped and turned as he recognized Eamon's voice. "Yes, Eamon?" he asked.

"Aren't you going to stay and see what happens?"

Alistair smiled down at Lanie before returning his attention to Eamon, "I'll tell you what, Eamon. You let me know what happens. I have four years to make up for and I intend to start now." With that, Alistair led his small family from the Landsmeet chamber and left the arguing and bickering of the banns behind him.

* * *

Less than an hour after the first session of the Landsmeet was over, a messenger left Denerim on a fast horse. The message he carried contained four words, "The time is now."

* * *

_A.N.: Sorry this chapter turned out to be so long, but I didn't want to cut any of it. Thanks once again to Melismo for her wonderful help with beta reading and to everyone who has followed along on this story with me. I've greatly appreciated all the reviews and encouragement I've received. _


	32. Epilogue

_A.N: As I come to the end of my first attempt at creative writing (Dragon Age or otherwise), I wanted to pay tribute to the creative genius behind it all, David Gaider. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery. Most of this was taken directly from the epilogue in his book, The Stolen Throne, and I just tweaked it slightly to fit here. If you haven't read it yet, you really should. It's well worth it._

* * *

"But did they win?"

Revered Mother Perpetua smiled with amusement at young Kellin as he squirmed in excitement in his chair. For a twelve-year-old lad, he had listened rather intently to the tale, she thought. He was always fascinated with such tales, and loved the ones that involved his father the best. And why not? He wasn't the only boy in Ferelden who idolized King Alistair, after all.

She smoothed Kellin's dark blond hair absently with a weathered hand and nodded. "Yes, they did win." She chuckled as the boy clapped his hands in delight. "As you must have guessed. If they hadn't, would you be living here in the palace today, young man?"

He grinned. "Probably not."

"Probably not," she agreed. "Chancellor Eamon was the one who convinced the nobles of that Landsmeet to accept the fact that your father was serious about marrying your mother and that he would do exactly what he said he would if they didn't allow that to happen. Of course, there were conditions that had to be worked out because the chancellor knew that the nobles would never accept your mother as queen. We were just lucky to have a persuasive man to take your father's part during those negotiations. It would have been a very bad thing for Ferelden, indeed, if your father had followed through on his promise to take you and your mother and leave the country."

Kellin flipped through the book on his lap, a fine book filled with delicate paintings that had been presented to the young prince as a gift by the Orlesian ambassador. Naturally, young Kellin loved the pictures of the Grey Wardens and the battles in the book, especially the one where his mother was fighting the Archdemon. Mother Perpetua watched him for a time, reaching out and brushing the hair aside again. There was little other sound in the library other than the rushing fall winds outside the window. She would have to remember to tell him about the events that happened after that Landsmeet someday, when he was older and better able to understand.

"What are you thinking now, dear boy?" she asked him finally.

He looked up at her, his large eyes somber. "Do you think it bothers my mother that she is not queen?"

Ah. She took a deep breath. "I think not at all, child." She smiled gently at him. "I think the most important thing to her is that she has both you and your father, as the two of you are who make her happy. Even though your mother is not considered royalty, such as the king and yourself, I don't think it matters to her one whit. I honestly believe she never had any desire to be queen."

Kellin closed the book, admiring the detailed embossment on the leather covers, and then he looked up at her quizzically. "Am I going to be the king someday, Mother Perpetua?"

"When you father passes, yes. Let us pray it is not soon."

"Will I be as good a king as my father?"

She chuckled at that. "You are a Theirin, my dear boy. You've the blood of not only Calenhad the Great in you but also Moira the Rebel Queen, Maric the Savior, and Alistair the Just; _and_ your mother is the Hero of Ferelden. There is nothing you cannot do if you put your mind to it."

The boy rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. "That's what Father always says. I don't think I'll _ever_ be as good a king as he is."

_So much like his father, indeed_. Perpetua tousled his hair fondly and rose from her chair. "Come, young man. Walk with your old tutor, and let us find your father in the gardens. You can tell him yourself what a fine listener you were today."

Kellin leaped from his seat, grinning. "Do you think he'll tell me another story? I want to hear about the battle with the High Dragon!"

"I think there is time for more stories later. But not today."

The young prince had to be satisfied with that, so he excitedly raced down the palace hall and was gone in an instant. Shaking her head in amusement, Mother Perpetua picked up her cane and slowly began chasing after him.

* * *

_A.N.: Well, we have come to the end of the story of how Elandria and Alistair were finally reunited. Thanks again to Melismo for all her wonderful help with story issues and the beta reading. Thanks also go out one last time to everyone who read," favorited," alerted, and reviewed. You are the ones that keep me writing and struggling to improve. _


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